Nina, my neighbor, passes on her Reader's Digests when she's done with them. We always read them cover to cover, with a mixture of interest and annoyance.
RD's approach to medicine, for instance, can be summarized as: "Doctors can work miracles! Never, ever trust your doctor!" They also like featuring Obscure Medical Scares: this issue's is that artificial light can encourage certain forms of cancer -- so every time you go to the bathroom at night, and turn on the light, you're at risk! Use nightlights! Eat breakfast beside a window! Get natural light! (However, if you DO go outside, for heaven's sake don't forget sunscreen.)
But, anyway, on to what annoyed me. There was a long article on a trend among teenagers: texting nude photos of themselves to friends, without realizing that the photos could easily be sent out for universal viewing. Parents are informed and warned about what their teens (as young as 12) could be doing with their phones. Parents need to explain what is appropriate, and emphasize that once a picture is texted, there's no getting it back. Parents need to point out that years from now, those same pictures could jepoardize job options or even lead to criminal charges.
What parents are never advised to do, however, is tell their 15-year-old girl, "You absolutely shouldn't be showing pictures of your body to anybody. Your body is yours to protect, not send out for others' enjoyment." Parents aren't told that their teen boys should know that pornography, even self-created, is detrimental to themselves and to those they send it to. In short, teens are never told that it's actually a wrong thing to do -- only that it could bring them embarrassment and trouble later.
"Teens are sexual beings," the article quoted someone as saying. Thanks for that enlightenment. Teenagers are humans, after all -- and darn immature ones at that. They need things explained to them. To girls in particular, showing off your body is an easy way to get lots of attention. They need a responsible adult to tell them that pornography is a corrosive influence, reducing people to objects of selfish gratification. It's a bad start in life to give your friends and acquaintances the opportunity to whet that selfish appetite on your own body.
Why is it that today's culture thinks that 16-year-olds are old enough to understand and deal with sexual relationships on their own? Teenagers can't even handle friendships in a rational manner. But if the only caution you can give your child is, "Don't do that because it might get you in trouble later," then you're waving the white flag and the battle is over.
I care enough about my children, and my friends' children, and the beautiful, alienated teenagers I pass in town, to say, "You shouldn't do this. It's wrong." To do less is to hand our children over to those who want them only for their bodies.
-- SJ
Monday, May 18, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
We Went to Tennessee
The Baby's arrival is only three weeks away. We wanted to do something special as a family before "special" devolved into "Mama and Daddy staying awake, and Baby not crying, long enough to eat ice cream together before bed." So we went to Tennessee.
Normally it wouldn't be something we could do in a budget-friendly way, but this time we were invited by Wyndham Resorts. They WANTED us to come. They promised us a discount on a hotel suite, a gift card to a restaurant, and $25 in cash to spend how we liked. All we had to do was come in for a two-hour sales presentation to find out why we wanted to buy a timeshare from them. We really wanted a vacation, if not a timeshare, so we agreed to come.
It was 420 miles to Pigeon Forge, TN. The kids were good travelers -- hardly any whining or crying. That's because we have such stellar children. Also it's because we listened to Daphne's CDs until we wanted to pitch them out the window, and because we let Addie and Stuart play their new (used) Nintendo DS in fifteen-minute intervals for like five hours straight. A drive like that is no time for high standards.
The fateful sales pitch was scheduled for the very next morning. We went in resolved to say no. We dropped A&S off at the kids' room, and brought Daphne with us, where she played with random toys and watched the DVD player. Then we sat down to let the salesman talk himself out so we could say no.
Unfortunately, we really liked our salesman. He can't have had high hopes for us from the outset: we don't travel much, and when we do travel, we don't want to do anything. But he showed us how the program could work even for us. And we actually considered it seriously. The program is based on a point system, like frequent-flyer miles, and some points can even go toward airfare and car rentals. We toured the model condos and everything. Then we got to financing, and he even managed to get our monthly payments -- over seven years -- to $150/month. We could do that, right?
Until Darren pulled out his cell phone calculator when the salesman was gone for a few minutes. He did a quick run of the numbers, which included 15% interest. We'd end up paying $4,000 extra over that seven years. Our resolution, which had softened at the edges, firmed up again.
We said No.
We took our gift cards, our cash, and went back to our very comfortable suite. The sales pitch was over, and we could relax and enjoy the vacation in our very Jonesish sort of way. That involved a splurge on an attraction called MagiQuest. It was basically a live-action fantasy video game. It was fun, although it's not like it was worth the seven-hour drive down there just to play it or anything. Three or four hours, however, is entirely justifiable.
In an attempt to be frugal, I packed lots of food so we wouldn't spend a lot on eating out. What I didn't realize is that the hotel room provided a free breakfast, including waffles and an omelet bar. And then there were the gift cards that meant we could eat out without paying much. All that together meant that I WAY overprepared. Darren snickered a little bit as he unpacked three loaves of bread and two bottles of juice and yogurt and pasta and more snacks than we could eat in two weeks. But he appreciated the effort.
My favorite outing was to the Museum of Appalachia, where my family used to visit during our Knoxville trips. It's set up as a farm community a hundred years ago, with authentic cabins, chickens and turkeys, and a museum of interesting and quirky collections. Mostly the kids just liked the peacocks roaming around, which weren't exactly in keeping with the hard-scrabble Appalachian farm life. Darren and I had visited the museum during our honeymoon, so he was glad to be back there, too. Of course, on that trip, I was there to see the museum, while Darren just wanted to get me off in deserted corners so he could kiss me. Lots of fond memories.
The trip back was a little longer and a little crankier. Music and Nintendo came to the rescue. Darren and I listened to some of the Narnia CDs that Evan and Jill gave us for Christmas a couple of years ago, which we enjoyed thoroughly despite the active and vociferous protests from the toddler who wanted to hear her own CDs.
We got home in the evening, and were grateful to be back in our own beds. Our cat was fed and cared-for, thanks to our neighbors. A good trip was had by all. We highly recommend: 1) the Tennessee mountains; 2) MagiQuest; 3) Nintendo DS; and 4) cell phone calculators to rescue you from disaster.
-- SJ
Normally it wouldn't be something we could do in a budget-friendly way, but this time we were invited by Wyndham Resorts. They WANTED us to come. They promised us a discount on a hotel suite, a gift card to a restaurant, and $25 in cash to spend how we liked. All we had to do was come in for a two-hour sales presentation to find out why we wanted to buy a timeshare from them. We really wanted a vacation, if not a timeshare, so we agreed to come.
It was 420 miles to Pigeon Forge, TN. The kids were good travelers -- hardly any whining or crying. That's because we have such stellar children. Also it's because we listened to Daphne's CDs until we wanted to pitch them out the window, and because we let Addie and Stuart play their new (used) Nintendo DS in fifteen-minute intervals for like five hours straight. A drive like that is no time for high standards.
The fateful sales pitch was scheduled for the very next morning. We went in resolved to say no. We dropped A&S off at the kids' room, and brought Daphne with us, where she played with random toys and watched the DVD player. Then we sat down to let the salesman talk himself out so we could say no.
Unfortunately, we really liked our salesman. He can't have had high hopes for us from the outset: we don't travel much, and when we do travel, we don't want to do anything. But he showed us how the program could work even for us. And we actually considered it seriously. The program is based on a point system, like frequent-flyer miles, and some points can even go toward airfare and car rentals. We toured the model condos and everything. Then we got to financing, and he even managed to get our monthly payments -- over seven years -- to $150/month. We could do that, right?
Until Darren pulled out his cell phone calculator when the salesman was gone for a few minutes. He did a quick run of the numbers, which included 15% interest. We'd end up paying $4,000 extra over that seven years. Our resolution, which had softened at the edges, firmed up again.
We said No.
We took our gift cards, our cash, and went back to our very comfortable suite. The sales pitch was over, and we could relax and enjoy the vacation in our very Jonesish sort of way. That involved a splurge on an attraction called MagiQuest. It was basically a live-action fantasy video game. It was fun, although it's not like it was worth the seven-hour drive down there just to play it or anything. Three or four hours, however, is entirely justifiable.
In an attempt to be frugal, I packed lots of food so we wouldn't spend a lot on eating out. What I didn't realize is that the hotel room provided a free breakfast, including waffles and an omelet bar. And then there were the gift cards that meant we could eat out without paying much. All that together meant that I WAY overprepared. Darren snickered a little bit as he unpacked three loaves of bread and two bottles of juice and yogurt and pasta and more snacks than we could eat in two weeks. But he appreciated the effort.
My favorite outing was to the Museum of Appalachia, where my family used to visit during our Knoxville trips. It's set up as a farm community a hundred years ago, with authentic cabins, chickens and turkeys, and a museum of interesting and quirky collections. Mostly the kids just liked the peacocks roaming around, which weren't exactly in keeping with the hard-scrabble Appalachian farm life. Darren and I had visited the museum during our honeymoon, so he was glad to be back there, too. Of course, on that trip, I was there to see the museum, while Darren just wanted to get me off in deserted corners so he could kiss me. Lots of fond memories.
The trip back was a little longer and a little crankier. Music and Nintendo came to the rescue. Darren and I listened to some of the Narnia CDs that Evan and Jill gave us for Christmas a couple of years ago, which we enjoyed thoroughly despite the active and vociferous protests from the toddler who wanted to hear her own CDs.
We got home in the evening, and were grateful to be back in our own beds. Our cat was fed and cared-for, thanks to our neighbors. A good trip was had by all. We highly recommend: 1) the Tennessee mountains; 2) MagiQuest; 3) Nintendo DS; and 4) cell phone calculators to rescue you from disaster.
-- SJ
Friday, May 15, 2009
Randomizer: Well-Wishes
The most memorable quote from our recent four-day trip to Tennessee:
Clerk in a store saying goodbye as we left: "Goodbye! Have a good vacation!"
Addie: "Bye! Have a good life! Because you never know when you'll die!"
-- SJ
Clerk in a store saying goodbye as we left: "Goodbye! Have a good vacation!"
Addie: "Bye! Have a good life! Because you never know when you'll die!"
-- SJ
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
What She Said
I spent Mother's Day too busy to notice it much, and I forgot to call Mom. Not that it much matters -- Mom usually forgets Mother's Day, too.
Then I read my sister's tribute to Mom. I couldn't write it any better, so why try? Please go read Rose's post to see what we've learned about our mom, ever since we became mothers ourselves.
We love you, Mom!
-- SJ
Then I read my sister's tribute to Mom. I couldn't write it any better, so why try? Please go read Rose's post to see what we've learned about our mom, ever since we became mothers ourselves.
We love you, Mom!
-- SJ
Friday, May 08, 2009
Top Names of 2008
The Social Security Administration has posted its annual list of the top baby names in America. I love this list, or maybe I didn't have to say that.
Of course I checked the status of the most important names, i.e., my children's. Adelaide jumped up from last year. Daphne did a little hop up. And Stuart, as expected, is nowhere to be seen on the Top 1000. I still take great satisfaction in having chosen less-used names.
The top two contenders for Baby's name are on the Top 500. One ranks very much higher than the other, but ironically it sounds less common because the other one was used in a previous generation. So now of course you want to know what the names are, right? Okay, okay. We'll tell you. In about four weeks.
-- SJ
(I just had a mother-moment. The kids are back watching a video, and Daphne is screeching "NO NO NO NO!" Without even taking my fingers off the keyboard, I shouted, "Whatever you're doing, STOP IT!")
Of course I checked the status of the most important names, i.e., my children's. Adelaide jumped up from last year. Daphne did a little hop up. And Stuart, as expected, is nowhere to be seen on the Top 1000. I still take great satisfaction in having chosen less-used names.
The top two contenders for Baby's name are on the Top 500. One ranks very much higher than the other, but ironically it sounds less common because the other one was used in a previous generation. So now of course you want to know what the names are, right? Okay, okay. We'll tell you. In about four weeks.
-- SJ
(I just had a mother-moment. The kids are back watching a video, and Daphne is screeching "NO NO NO NO!" Without even taking my fingers off the keyboard, I shouted, "Whatever you're doing, STOP IT!")
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
What I Forget
It's especially bad when I'm pregnant. No, wait, at least then people expect me to do it. It's when I'm NOT pregnant and start in like I do around those who know and understand me, and my listeners start thinking I'm working up to an Announcement. I should just make a t-shirt that says,
"I talk about names at random and frequent intervals. Please attach no significance to this hobby of mine, because A) I like to make my Announcements much cleverer than that; and B) I don't talk about names that I, personally, am considering. I talk about other people's name choices."
(That would be a very long t-shirt message. A knowledgeable person would look at it and say, "Hm, you're into Blogger and not Twitter, huh?")
So even though I'm eight months pregnant and inviting a discussion of names on my blog, the two situations aren't related. We're not considering Carolina or Caroline. (I have a niece named Caroline, after all.) I just happened to be thinking about the two of them that morning. I've loved hearing y'all's take on them. Isn't it FUN talking about names?
Speaking of -- names, I mean -- I came across a book that said that while Westerners never use flower names for males, it's actually a common practice among Orientals. So I wonder, if we suddenly did crash through centuries of tradition and start using flower names for males, which flowers would qualify?
It's a tricky question because not even all flowers qualify for female names. It's all pretty capricious, actually.
I'd give some off-the-cuff suggestions, except that I started a list and realized I couldn't remember any flowers. It's late. I didn't have a nap. So help me out here -- and please don't worry that we'll take your advice and name a new baby boy Chrysanthemum.
-- SJ
"I talk about names at random and frequent intervals. Please attach no significance to this hobby of mine, because A) I like to make my Announcements much cleverer than that; and B) I don't talk about names that I, personally, am considering. I talk about other people's name choices."
(That would be a very long t-shirt message. A knowledgeable person would look at it and say, "Hm, you're into Blogger and not Twitter, huh?")
So even though I'm eight months pregnant and inviting a discussion of names on my blog, the two situations aren't related. We're not considering Carolina or Caroline. (I have a niece named Caroline, after all.) I just happened to be thinking about the two of them that morning. I've loved hearing y'all's take on them. Isn't it FUN talking about names?
Speaking of -- names, I mean -- I came across a book that said that while Westerners never use flower names for males, it's actually a common practice among Orientals. So I wonder, if we suddenly did crash through centuries of tradition and start using flower names for males, which flowers would qualify?
It's a tricky question because not even all flowers qualify for female names. It's all pretty capricious, actually.
I'd give some off-the-cuff suggestions, except that I started a list and realized I couldn't remember any flowers. It's late. I didn't have a nap. So help me out here -- and please don't worry that we'll take your advice and name a new baby boy Chrysanthemum.
-- SJ
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Status Report
The computer is still ill, and has gone to see the doctor. This being our fifth day without it, we've transferred all our affection and addiction to this poor little laptop. It's old and slow, and serves two purposes: downloading popcap.com games and checking email. All by dialup. But it makes comforting computer-like noises, which is soothing.
So just for something to do until I get back up to speed (high-speed), here's a deep question to ponder: is there a big difference between the names Caroline and Carolina?
-- SJ
So just for something to do until I get back up to speed (high-speed), here's a deep question to ponder: is there a big difference between the names Caroline and Carolina?
-- SJ
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Mundania 21
* We were at a prayer meeting tonight with most of the rest of our church, which meant we like packed out that little living room! (We're not exactly a megachurch.) Everybody was opening Bibles to a particular psalm, when Doris -- who is in her seventies, I think -- got up and said to someone else about her own age, "Let me get you a King James Bible. It will make more sense that way." King James = make more sense? My mind blew a few fuses.
* One of my favorite rhymes of all time is in a Veggie Tales song. The Babylonian counselors (asparagus stalks) are plotting ways to get rid of Daniel, and they rhyme "Babylon" with "a table to play Scrabble on."
* Tomorrow, Addie and Stuart are each in a play at co-op. Addie plays the part of a possum and has one line. Stuart plays the part of a Cloud and has about four lines, plus the parts where he improvises. Darren will get to watch these off-Broadway performances. I hope to get pictures of their costumes.
* I don't usually take "baby tummy" pictures of myself because they make me feel self-conscious. But Lindsay wanted to see one, and it's hard to refuse her because she has such nice blue eyes, plus was guaranteed to like it. (Her response: "WICKED CUTE!!!!") Thus encouraged, I'll post it here. I'm in my eighth month. One to go. But who's counting?
* One of my favorite rhymes of all time is in a Veggie Tales song. The Babylonian counselors (asparagus stalks) are plotting ways to get rid of Daniel, and they rhyme "Babylon" with "a table to play Scrabble on."
* Tomorrow, Addie and Stuart are each in a play at co-op. Addie plays the part of a possum and has one line. Stuart plays the part of a Cloud and has about four lines, plus the parts where he improvises. Darren will get to watch these off-Broadway performances. I hope to get pictures of their costumes.
* I don't usually take "baby tummy" pictures of myself because they make me feel self-conscious. But Lindsay wanted to see one, and it's hard to refuse her because she has such nice blue eyes, plus was guaranteed to like it. (Her response: "WICKED CUTE!!!!") Thus encouraged, I'll post it here. I'm in my eighth month. One to go. But who's counting?
Monday, April 27, 2009
A Good Idea
Normally when I discover an idea that works, I try not to launch a crusade to convert everyone else to my method. Mostly because I still haven't gotten the hang of coupons despite numerous conversion experiences, and I resisted making menus for years, and I still don't do monthly bulk cooking even though yes I know how efficient and helpful it is.
But then there's this one that I've recently implemented. I found it in a couple of places before trying it myself. It's such a simple idea, and cuts down on so much kitchen work, that -- yeah, here's the end of my crusader's sword. Convert or die.
Each person in the house now has his or her own set of dishes: plate, bowl, and cup. I'd bought plastic picnic dishes last year, which served my purpose admirably. Addie's is pink, Stuart's is lavender (of course), and Daphne's is blue. I took the yellow set for myself, and Darren gets a mismatched assortment that includes a glass cup because he's decided after eight years that he doesn't like plastic anymore.
The rule is that you use only your own dishes. I wash the kids' out after every meal, although I have every hope that Addie and Stuart can take over that job once they're a little taller. This system has all kinds of benefits. It takes a whole day to fill up the dishwasher. It takes about five minutes to unload the dishwasher in the morning. I can tell who did NOT take plates over to the sink after a meal. And I can tell who did or didn't eat much. It's like my own Motherhood Informant Network.
So as soon as you finish reading this post, go pick out your dishes for your household. Also, don't tell me that you've already been doing it for years because this is MY good idea, after all. Convert, sinner.
-- SJ
But then there's this one that I've recently implemented. I found it in a couple of places before trying it myself. It's such a simple idea, and cuts down on so much kitchen work, that -- yeah, here's the end of my crusader's sword. Convert or die.
Each person in the house now has his or her own set of dishes: plate, bowl, and cup. I'd bought plastic picnic dishes last year, which served my purpose admirably. Addie's is pink, Stuart's is lavender (of course), and Daphne's is blue. I took the yellow set for myself, and Darren gets a mismatched assortment that includes a glass cup because he's decided after eight years that he doesn't like plastic anymore.
The rule is that you use only your own dishes. I wash the kids' out after every meal, although I have every hope that Addie and Stuart can take over that job once they're a little taller. This system has all kinds of benefits. It takes a whole day to fill up the dishwasher. It takes about five minutes to unload the dishwasher in the morning. I can tell who did NOT take plates over to the sink after a meal. And I can tell who did or didn't eat much. It's like my own Motherhood Informant Network.
So as soon as you finish reading this post, go pick out your dishes for your household. Also, don't tell me that you've already been doing it for years because this is MY good idea, after all. Convert, sinner.
-- SJ
Friday, April 24, 2009
Seven Quick Takes Friday, April 24
As hosted by Conversion Diary. Note: this post was planned before Rachelle's comment. :)
1. John C. Wright, sci-fi writer and recent convert from atheism, has had two marvelous posts about science fiction, C.S. Lewis, and Gnosticism in Clarke's Childhood's End. Highly recommended.
2. I went to Alaska last weekend for a homeschool conference. It was a wonderful trip: the scenery is stunning, the conference was well-attended (for Alaska), and the people were very friendly (which is the norm for homeschool conferences). I flew in to Anchorage and drove up the bay for about an hour to Wasilla (yes, the hometown of the famous governor. No, I didn't see her). To the left of the highway was a beautiful river, and to the right were snow-tipped mountains. Absolutely stunning. I felt like I was driving through a fantasy world. I am happy to report that Wasilla has at least two good restaurants, one Mexican and one Indian, both of which I patronized. It also has a Wal-Mart, which I patronized for breakfast (actually, the McDonald's in the Wal-Mart. Is there anything more American?)
3. Since the flight to Alaska is loooong, I brought along several books to read. Turn Coat by Jim Butcher was good, but not as interesting as his previous one, Small Favor.* Dragon in Chains was boring. However, I reread Henryk Sienkiewicz’s Teutonic Knights, and that book is awesome. The story of a young knight growing up, learning to harness his power and his emotions, and taking on all sorts of nasty characters, including the eeeevil German Knights. Not surprisingly, the book was written at a time when Polish nationalism was at its height. I'd recommend it for everyone! Be aware, though, it's pretty long. 800 pages, in my copy.
4. Last night, Joel Klampert ** and I hosted a chat session with webcams to discuss leading worship music in our churches, both of which are in the Charismatic Episcopal Church. Only one other person showed up, but we're hoping to make this a regular feature. Anyone out there who has any interest in worship music is welcome to participate in the next one, currently scheduled for May 20 at 9 p.m. EDT. Please let me know if you're interested!
5. French fried onions make a great snack. Until you eat too many and regret it.
6. A CD recommendation: Danielle Rose's*** "Mysteries." It's a 2-CD set of songs connected with the life of Christ, all in different styles. Some of my favorites are "Let It Be Done Unto Me," a musical setting of the Annunciation seen from Gabriel's perspective, and "Crucify Him," a rock meditation (yes, there is such a thing) on Pilate's judgment of Jesus.
7. I've been listening to several Modern Scholar classes on CD by professor Thomas Madden, and I've learned a lot. He's a medieval scholar who teaches at St. Louis University. So far, I've listened to classes on the medieval Church, the Inquisition, and the Protestant Reformation. Very cool for history buffs.
* Any book that stars an archangel disguised as a janitor is pretty cool, in my estimation.
** Joel is a constant encouragement to me to not be afraid of doing new music. Like, Really New music.
*** Actually, she now goes by Sister Rose Therese, DLJC. She became a nun in 2007.
--DJ
1. John C. Wright, sci-fi writer and recent convert from atheism, has had two marvelous posts about science fiction, C.S. Lewis, and Gnosticism in Clarke's Childhood's End. Highly recommended.
2. I went to Alaska last weekend for a homeschool conference. It was a wonderful trip: the scenery is stunning, the conference was well-attended (for Alaska), and the people were very friendly (which is the norm for homeschool conferences). I flew in to Anchorage and drove up the bay for about an hour to Wasilla (yes, the hometown of the famous governor. No, I didn't see her). To the left of the highway was a beautiful river, and to the right were snow-tipped mountains. Absolutely stunning. I felt like I was driving through a fantasy world. I am happy to report that Wasilla has at least two good restaurants, one Mexican and one Indian, both of which I patronized. It also has a Wal-Mart, which I patronized for breakfast (actually, the McDonald's in the Wal-Mart. Is there anything more American?)
3. Since the flight to Alaska is loooong, I brought along several books to read. Turn Coat by Jim Butcher was good, but not as interesting as his previous one, Small Favor.* Dragon in Chains was boring. However, I reread Henryk Sienkiewicz’s Teutonic Knights, and that book is awesome. The story of a young knight growing up, learning to harness his power and his emotions, and taking on all sorts of nasty characters, including the eeeevil German Knights. Not surprisingly, the book was written at a time when Polish nationalism was at its height. I'd recommend it for everyone! Be aware, though, it's pretty long. 800 pages, in my copy.
4. Last night, Joel Klampert ** and I hosted a chat session with webcams to discuss leading worship music in our churches, both of which are in the Charismatic Episcopal Church. Only one other person showed up, but we're hoping to make this a regular feature. Anyone out there who has any interest in worship music is welcome to participate in the next one, currently scheduled for May 20 at 9 p.m. EDT. Please let me know if you're interested!
5. French fried onions make a great snack. Until you eat too many and regret it.
6. A CD recommendation: Danielle Rose's*** "Mysteries." It's a 2-CD set of songs connected with the life of Christ, all in different styles. Some of my favorites are "Let It Be Done Unto Me," a musical setting of the Annunciation seen from Gabriel's perspective, and "Crucify Him," a rock meditation (yes, there is such a thing) on Pilate's judgment of Jesus.
7. I've been listening to several Modern Scholar classes on CD by professor Thomas Madden, and I've learned a lot. He's a medieval scholar who teaches at St. Louis University. So far, I've listened to classes on the medieval Church, the Inquisition, and the Protestant Reformation. Very cool for history buffs.
* Any book that stars an archangel disguised as a janitor is pretty cool, in my estimation.
** Joel is a constant encouragement to me to not be afraid of doing new music. Like, Really New music.
*** Actually, she now goes by Sister Rose Therese, DLJC. She became a nun in 2007.
--DJ
Full Speed Ahead, Watch Out for Fog
This week I've been living -- well, maybe not like I'm dying, but certainly as if I've been subsisting on caffeine. Since I haven't actually had any coffee since Sunday, it's either residual energy or an early nesting instinct.
This week I've sketched out a month's worth of menus -- breakfast, lunch, and supper; crocheted two hats; read a book, which I also tabbed and commented on so Darren can skim through it without much suffering; interviewed someone for an article due next week; caught up on laundry; got school up and running again after a two-week break; and ate so many cookies that part of my drive must be sugar-related.
That was all done on my up moments. On the off-times, I've been so foggy-brained and exhausted that I can stand for ten minutes in the kitchen without A)figuring out why I'm there; or B) figuring out what to do once it has occurred to me that it's 5:30 and there's no supper underway.
(Darren, meanwhile, recovering from the four-hour time change and incredible jet lag after his Alaska trip, has mostly just been foggy.)
As for the book mentioned above, I guess I should have already known who Dave Ramsey was -- isn't Talk Radio part of my ideological heritage? Anyway, I liked his ideas and would really like it to be possible to pay off all debt and stay that way. As Darren and I wrestle with the budget, we're still wondering.
Daphne is awake. The day has started. Today I think I'll crochet another hat, finish the menu, and save the world. That, or go back to bed.
-- SJ
This week I've sketched out a month's worth of menus -- breakfast, lunch, and supper; crocheted two hats; read a book, which I also tabbed and commented on so Darren can skim through it without much suffering; interviewed someone for an article due next week; caught up on laundry; got school up and running again after a two-week break; and ate so many cookies that part of my drive must be sugar-related.
That was all done on my up moments. On the off-times, I've been so foggy-brained and exhausted that I can stand for ten minutes in the kitchen without A)figuring out why I'm there; or B) figuring out what to do once it has occurred to me that it's 5:30 and there's no supper underway.
(Darren, meanwhile, recovering from the four-hour time change and incredible jet lag after his Alaska trip, has mostly just been foggy.)
As for the book mentioned above, I guess I should have already known who Dave Ramsey was -- isn't Talk Radio part of my ideological heritage? Anyway, I liked his ideas and would really like it to be possible to pay off all debt and stay that way. As Darren and I wrestle with the budget, we're still wondering.
Daphne is awake. The day has started. Today I think I'll crochet another hat, finish the menu, and save the world. That, or go back to bed.
-- SJ
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Making Me Tick
For the past couple of days, my thoughts have been centered on pretty much one thing:
Ticks.
There are occasional forays into other avenues of thought, such as: Darren comes home from a conference in Alaska today! Finally! It's been four days! Okay, so that's not so bad in normal people terms, but in Quality Time people terms it's pretty brutal.
Other thoughts: When a forum is on the third year and multiple-thousandth post of a particular thread, wouldn't you assume that the subject had been thoroughly thrashed out, hashed out I mean, and that the continued compulsive postings by the same people might indicate that there is some need for personal counseling?
Other thoughts: My sister headed to the hospital this evening. How long before the baby comes? Why do I have to be a thousand miles away from her at times like this? Update: Cassie Hope was born about an hour after I posted. So there's that question answered happily!
But, as I said, those were occasional digressions. Since yesterday afternoon I've mostly been thinking about ticks.
I got bit by one at a party on Saturday. So I've been googling "symptoms of Lyme Disease" repeatedly to see what I need to watch for and how soon I need to catch it. Remarkably, as soon as I read the list of symptoms, they start manifesting. But nothing has really lingered except that this stupid bite itches like crazy.
For forty minutes this morning I tried to find a number for an Urgent Care in the area to see if I needed to come in immediately. See, I'm going to get tested for Lyme regardless of any symptoms; I just needed to know if I should do it today, or wait and call my OB tomorrow. But although I know of two clinics within five miles of my house, I couldn't find a number for either of them. And was I going to load up three kids and drive them over to a clinic just to see if it was open, on the off-chance that I'd get to wrangle them in a waiting room and exam room for two hours? Obviously not, seeing as it's 9 p.m. and I'm still googling "symptoms of Lyme disease."
Meanwhile, this morning, I found a tick on my cat's neck. So now I've got to figure out the best way to remove it without further exposing my pregnant self to toxic tick saliva. Then I'm off to google "symptoms of Lyme disease in cats." Update: Tick is successfully removed from cat, even without using the sophisticated tool called "husband."
-- SJ
Ticks.
There are occasional forays into other avenues of thought, such as: Darren comes home from a conference in Alaska today! Finally! It's been four days! Okay, so that's not so bad in normal people terms, but in Quality Time people terms it's pretty brutal.
Other thoughts: When a forum is on the third year and multiple-thousandth post of a particular thread, wouldn't you assume that the subject had been thoroughly thrashed out, hashed out I mean, and that the continued compulsive postings by the same people might indicate that there is some need for personal counseling?
Other thoughts: My sister headed to the hospital this evening. How long before the baby comes? Why do I have to be a thousand miles away from her at times like this? Update: Cassie Hope was born about an hour after I posted. So there's that question answered happily!
But, as I said, those were occasional digressions. Since yesterday afternoon I've mostly been thinking about ticks.
I got bit by one at a party on Saturday. So I've been googling "symptoms of Lyme Disease" repeatedly to see what I need to watch for and how soon I need to catch it. Remarkably, as soon as I read the list of symptoms, they start manifesting. But nothing has really lingered except that this stupid bite itches like crazy.
For forty minutes this morning I tried to find a number for an Urgent Care in the area to see if I needed to come in immediately. See, I'm going to get tested for Lyme regardless of any symptoms; I just needed to know if I should do it today, or wait and call my OB tomorrow. But although I know of two clinics within five miles of my house, I couldn't find a number for either of them. And was I going to load up three kids and drive them over to a clinic just to see if it was open, on the off-chance that I'd get to wrangle them in a waiting room and exam room for two hours? Obviously not, seeing as it's 9 p.m. and I'm still googling "symptoms of Lyme disease."
Meanwhile, this morning, I found a tick on my cat's neck. So now I've got to figure out the best way to remove it without further exposing my pregnant self to toxic tick saliva. Then I'm off to google "symptoms of Lyme disease in cats." Update: Tick is successfully removed from cat, even without using the sophisticated tool called "husband."
-- SJ
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Motherhood in Five
I don't always do tags, but Kelly's interests me because it's something I've been thinking about a lot (read: random ten-minute intervals) for the past few weeks.
Motherhood hasn't been an easy thing for me to acclimate to. I doubt it's easy for any woman; I just made it more difficult for myself by the way I viewed it.
When someone would say to me, "I love being a mommy! Don't you?" my thoughts were, "So what do you like best? Making a hundred tiny decisions a day? Arguing over which shoes she has to wear? The endless making meals and getting drinks and supervising snacks every day? Being both the ultimate security and arch-enemy? Tell me, which is the most thrilling part of motherhood for you?"
If someone had asked, "Don't you enjoy your children?" then I'd have replied enthusiastically, "Yes! I do! They drive me crazy sometimes, but I'm sure I drive them crazy, too." On short notice, I could list ten things I liked about each of my children.
It was only recently that I realized what I was doing. I was enjoying my children, but lumping all the drudgey parts of caring for them into the category called "motherhood." No wonder I didn't "love being a mommy." (Actually, for the record, I'm not a mommy. I'm a mama.)
Here's my list of five things I enjoy about my children. Or, in other words, five things I like about motherhood.
1. I love hearing about what they're thinking and wishing for. I remember having some of the very same wishes and thoughts.
2. I love teaching them. History, math, handwriting, reading, whatever -- I enjoy showing them what to do, and then watching them accomplish it.
3. Monotonous toddler games. No, I don't like the games, but I do love the unfettered joy of the toddler who made up the game and wants to play it over and over.
4. They trust what I tell them. I try to answer all their questions honestly, and in return they believe what I say.
5. Looking at these three well-grown children and trying to understand that I once carried them in my own body.
*Bonus!* Sharing all these things with Darren, the only other person who thinks our children are as interesting as fascinating as I do. Although the grandparents do run a close second.
I tag QoC, Liane, Rachelle, Danielle, and Barbara.
If you do post on this topic, you don't have to do five plus a bonus; I got caught up in the moment. :) Even if I didn't tag you, and you want to contribute your thoughts, by all means do so and let me know in the comment section.
-- SJ
Motherhood hasn't been an easy thing for me to acclimate to. I doubt it's easy for any woman; I just made it more difficult for myself by the way I viewed it.
When someone would say to me, "I love being a mommy! Don't you?" my thoughts were, "So what do you like best? Making a hundred tiny decisions a day? Arguing over which shoes she has to wear? The endless making meals and getting drinks and supervising snacks every day? Being both the ultimate security and arch-enemy? Tell me, which is the most thrilling part of motherhood for you?"
If someone had asked, "Don't you enjoy your children?" then I'd have replied enthusiastically, "Yes! I do! They drive me crazy sometimes, but I'm sure I drive them crazy, too." On short notice, I could list ten things I liked about each of my children.
It was only recently that I realized what I was doing. I was enjoying my children, but lumping all the drudgey parts of caring for them into the category called "motherhood." No wonder I didn't "love being a mommy." (Actually, for the record, I'm not a mommy. I'm a mama.)
Here's my list of five things I enjoy about my children. Or, in other words, five things I like about motherhood.
1. I love hearing about what they're thinking and wishing for. I remember having some of the very same wishes and thoughts.
2. I love teaching them. History, math, handwriting, reading, whatever -- I enjoy showing them what to do, and then watching them accomplish it.
3. Monotonous toddler games. No, I don't like the games, but I do love the unfettered joy of the toddler who made up the game and wants to play it over and over.
4. They trust what I tell them. I try to answer all their questions honestly, and in return they believe what I say.
5. Looking at these three well-grown children and trying to understand that I once carried them in my own body.
*Bonus!* Sharing all these things with Darren, the only other person who thinks our children are as interesting as fascinating as I do. Although the grandparents do run a close second.
I tag QoC, Liane, Rachelle, Danielle, and Barbara.
If you do post on this topic, you don't have to do five plus a bonus; I got caught up in the moment. :) Even if I didn't tag you, and you want to contribute your thoughts, by all means do so and let me know in the comment section.
-- SJ
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Kid Bits
Stuart: "It's cold out here."
Addie: "It's so cold that my bottom lip is trembling!"
Daphne (thinking she's echoing the other two): "It's so cold my bottom is cold!"
**
Addie: I just thought of this. If there can be 'brain storms,' then there can be 'tidal waves of thought.'
-- SJ
Addie: "It's so cold that my bottom lip is trembling!"
Daphne (thinking she's echoing the other two): "It's so cold my bottom is cold!"
**
Addie: I just thought of this. If there can be 'brain storms,' then there can be 'tidal waves of thought.'
-- SJ
Sunday, April 12, 2009
It is Easter!
Some Easters feel more celebratory than others. After I've observed a more rigorous Lent, for instance. Or when I'm not still trudging through a spiritual desert. Or when my thoughts of celebration aren't crowded out by the anxiety of having all the kids all by myself all through the service. Reckless celebration depends on a lot of convenient factors.
But Easter is always, forever, joyful. It's a deep joy that isn't easily dampened, and one that's very contagious.
He is risen! He is risen indeed!
Happy Easter!
-- SJ
But Easter is always, forever, joyful. It's a deep joy that isn't easily dampened, and one that's very contagious.
He is risen! He is risen indeed!
Happy Easter!
-- SJ
Saturday, April 11, 2009
An Open Letter: Lawn Care Company
Dear Lawn Care Company,
I'm truly sorry it had to happen this way. Please believe me. It isn't that I don't love you -- it's just that the relationship was too much right now.
I thought you'd understand. It can't be the first time somebody has broken up with you. And we told you, it wasn't because of anything you did: it's because we can't keep paying that much right now. That's it. Nothing personal.
But you insist on making it personal. Four different phone calls in one month is too much. And then there was that representative that Darren had to hang up on because he just wouldn't let it go. That isn't even the same representative that *I* had to hang up on because of the same problem with closure. I understand that your life feels like it's falling apart. But a little tip here: you're starting to sound desperate. And who wants to date a desperate lawn company?
Seriously, it's over. We broke up. Please move on. There are other lawns in the suburbs. We have nothing but fond regard for you. If you keep it up, however, we might think it's not a good idea to get back into a relationship with you. Can you say "restraining order"?
Sincerely,
-- SJ
I'm truly sorry it had to happen this way. Please believe me. It isn't that I don't love you -- it's just that the relationship was too much right now.
I thought you'd understand. It can't be the first time somebody has broken up with you. And we told you, it wasn't because of anything you did: it's because we can't keep paying that much right now. That's it. Nothing personal.
But you insist on making it personal. Four different phone calls in one month is too much. And then there was that representative that Darren had to hang up on because he just wouldn't let it go. That isn't even the same representative that *I* had to hang up on because of the same problem with closure. I understand that your life feels like it's falling apart. But a little tip here: you're starting to sound desperate. And who wants to date a desperate lawn company?
Seriously, it's over. We broke up. Please move on. There are other lawns in the suburbs. We have nothing but fond regard for you. If you keep it up, however, we might think it's not a good idea to get back into a relationship with you. Can you say "restraining order"?
Sincerely,
-- SJ
Friday, April 10, 2009
Proverbs 31 for Pregnant Women
wideyed suggested in a comment on the preveious post:
Somebody needs to rewrite the Proverbs 31 Woman....like the Prayer of Jabez except "The Proverbs 31 Woman: for Pregnant Mommies", or "The Proverbs 31 Woman: Students' Version". Then I could tailor the meaning of the Proverbs 31 woman's lifestyle to apply DIRECTLY to me!
I'm utterly dumbfounded that no one has marketed this idea yet. I immediately sat down to craft my own personally-applied version. Here's the original.
Who can find a virtuous pregnant woman? for her price is far above rubies.
The child of her husband doth safely rest in her, so that it shall have no distress.
She will eat only good and not evil all the days of her gestation.
She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh cunning baby clothes willingly with her hands.
She is like the merchants' ships; she is heavy-laden with treasure.
She riseth also while it is yet night, several times, to go to the bathroom; and giveth meat to her household while she just eateth saltines.
She considereth a crib, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she painteth a nursery.
She girdeth her loins with spandex panels, and strengtheneth her body for labor.
She perceiveth that her weight gain is good: she eateth not out at night.
She layeth her hands to the dishes, and her hands hold the spatula.
She stretcheth out her hand to the children; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy toddler.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for she is always hot.
She maketh herself coverings of generous proportions; her clothing is loose and non-binding.
Her husband is known in the gates, when others ask "knowest thou not what causeth that?"
She maketh chore lists, and posteth them; and bendeth not over if she can help it.
Strength and patience are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in the time between thirty-eight and forty-two weeks.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom for other women; and in her tongue are the stories of birth.
She looketh well to the ways of her household from the couch where she collapseth; and eateth not the bread after seven-thirty in the evening because of heartburn.
Her children arise up, and do not disturb her nap; her husband also, and he praiseth her:
"Many women have pregnant tummies, but thy cuteness excelleth them all."
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that hath precious babies, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her womb; and let her own children praise her in the gates.
-- SJ
Somebody needs to rewrite the Proverbs 31 Woman....like the Prayer of Jabez except "The Proverbs 31 Woman: for Pregnant Mommies", or "The Proverbs 31 Woman: Students' Version". Then I could tailor the meaning of the Proverbs 31 woman's lifestyle to apply DIRECTLY to me!
I'm utterly dumbfounded that no one has marketed this idea yet. I immediately sat down to craft my own personally-applied version. Here's the original.
Who can find a virtuous pregnant woman? for her price is far above rubies.
The child of her husband doth safely rest in her, so that it shall have no distress.
She will eat only good and not evil all the days of her gestation.
She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh cunning baby clothes willingly with her hands.
She is like the merchants' ships; she is heavy-laden with treasure.
She riseth also while it is yet night, several times, to go to the bathroom; and giveth meat to her household while she just eateth saltines.
She considereth a crib, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she painteth a nursery.
She girdeth her loins with spandex panels, and strengtheneth her body for labor.
She perceiveth that her weight gain is good: she eateth not out at night.
She layeth her hands to the dishes, and her hands hold the spatula.
She stretcheth out her hand to the children; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy toddler.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for she is always hot.
She maketh herself coverings of generous proportions; her clothing is loose and non-binding.
Her husband is known in the gates, when others ask "knowest thou not what causeth that?"
She maketh chore lists, and posteth them; and bendeth not over if she can help it.
Strength and patience are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in the time between thirty-eight and forty-two weeks.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom for other women; and in her tongue are the stories of birth.
She looketh well to the ways of her household from the couch where she collapseth; and eateth not the bread after seven-thirty in the evening because of heartburn.
Her children arise up, and do not disturb her nap; her husband also, and he praiseth her:
"Many women have pregnant tummies, but thy cuteness excelleth them all."
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that hath precious babies, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her womb; and let her own children praise her in the gates.
-- SJ
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Conversation with the Voices in My Head
Voices in My Head: You know it's after 8:00, right? Why haven't you gotten the kids up yet?
Me: Because it's nice to have half an hour to myself first.
Voices: But all of you should be up by 7 at the latest! If you want some time to yourself, you just need to get up earlier.
Me: I'm seven months pregnant, I go to bed at 11:30, and I hate getting up early anyway. It makes the morning way too long. Why should I?
Voices: Because that's VIRTUE, that's why. If your morning is too long, it's because you don't do enough to fill it up. The Proverbs 31 woman gets up while it's still dark, remember?
Me: She also quilts her own bedspreads (fifth paragraph).
Voices: That's what you get for reading a translation other than King James.
Me: Could you go find someone else to talk to for a while? I'm busy.
Voices: I doubt the Proverbs 31 woman would have blogged while her children slept.
-- SJ
Me: Because it's nice to have half an hour to myself first.
Voices: But all of you should be up by 7 at the latest! If you want some time to yourself, you just need to get up earlier.
Me: I'm seven months pregnant, I go to bed at 11:30, and I hate getting up early anyway. It makes the morning way too long. Why should I?
Voices: Because that's VIRTUE, that's why. If your morning is too long, it's because you don't do enough to fill it up. The Proverbs 31 woman gets up while it's still dark, remember?
Me: She also quilts her own bedspreads (fifth paragraph).
Voices: That's what you get for reading a translation other than King James.
Me: Could you go find someone else to talk to for a while? I'm busy.
Voices: I doubt the Proverbs 31 woman would have blogged while her children slept.
-- SJ
Monday, April 06, 2009
A Contest Announcement
One of my very good friends, Joel Klampert, is having an Easter giveaway on his blog. Lots of cool music and kids' stuff! Go sign up for it.
Joel and I have good discussions about worship music for our churches. We have a fundamental disagreement about definitions, though - "New Music" for Joel means "post-January 2009." For me, it means "post-January 1909."
Have a blessed Holy Week, everyone. Sunday is coming!
--DJ
Joel and I have good discussions about worship music for our churches. We have a fundamental disagreement about definitions, though - "New Music" for Joel means "post-January 2009." For me, it means "post-January 1909."
Have a blessed Holy Week, everyone. Sunday is coming!
--DJ
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Something That
Amused me...
* When Darren patted my tummy and said, "You're so cute," Daphne piped up from the couch: "I'm so cute, too!"
* Tim Hawkins. His videos have been lurking around Facebook and I finally clicked on this one. I love a good song parody.
Irritated me...
* Parenting magazine. I've never much liked it, but it starts showing up at your house as soon as you get pregnant. Maybe even before. "I was suspecting something -- I didn't feel well and I was so sleepy all the time -- and then Parenting came to my house and I knew for sure." It's like a cold: you're not sure where you got it and it's hard to get rid of.
Anyway, an issue showed up this week. I ignored it, reading BH&G, Family Fun, Touchstone, and Jurassic Park instead. But I finally ran out of material, so picked up Parenting. It told me that a great way to relieve stress is to... um... how to put this discreetly?... enjoy sexual satisfaction. The most intimate physical way you, as a human, can show love to the person whom you love most deeply is now reduced to a tip in an article about stress-relief? A few pages later, it featured an outfit worn by an impossibly skinny woman who definitely did not give birth to that child she's smiling at, wearing black stretch pants that cost $235. If their target audience can A) spend that much money for B) stretch pants, then they need to aim for somebody else's mailbox.
Surprised me...
This week I read Jurassic Park for the first time. I liked it. I was actually sorry I knew so much about the story ahead of time.
-- SJ
* When Darren patted my tummy and said, "You're so cute," Daphne piped up from the couch: "I'm so cute, too!"
* Tim Hawkins. His videos have been lurking around Facebook and I finally clicked on this one. I love a good song parody.
Irritated me...
* Parenting magazine. I've never much liked it, but it starts showing up at your house as soon as you get pregnant. Maybe even before. "I was suspecting something -- I didn't feel well and I was so sleepy all the time -- and then Parenting came to my house and I knew for sure." It's like a cold: you're not sure where you got it and it's hard to get rid of.
Anyway, an issue showed up this week. I ignored it, reading BH&G, Family Fun, Touchstone, and Jurassic Park instead. But I finally ran out of material, so picked up Parenting. It told me that a great way to relieve stress is to... um... how to put this discreetly?... enjoy sexual satisfaction. The most intimate physical way you, as a human, can show love to the person whom you love most deeply is now reduced to a tip in an article about stress-relief? A few pages later, it featured an outfit worn by an impossibly skinny woman who definitely did not give birth to that child she's smiling at, wearing black stretch pants that cost $235. If their target audience can A) spend that much money for B) stretch pants, then they need to aim for somebody else's mailbox.
Surprised me...
This week I read Jurassic Park for the first time. I liked it. I was actually sorry I knew so much about the story ahead of time.
-- SJ
Friday, April 03, 2009
Further Note on Sanctimonium
You'd think I'd have lots of practice with gracious explanations, considering that for a significant part of my life I was homeschooled, wore only skirts, didn't date casually, didn't watch T.V., didn't listen to pop music.
Except that in my younger days, I LIKED being superior, and didn't exactly cultivate a gracious demeanor. Hurray for the farsightedness of youth!
-- SJ
Except that in my younger days, I LIKED being superior, and didn't exactly cultivate a gracious demeanor. Hurray for the farsightedness of youth!
-- SJ
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Drat It, I Did It Again!
(Sing THAT, Britney.)
After I published the preceding post, I realized that I did exactly what I was complaining about. Here's the relevant quote:
"When I was packing lunch for co-op this morning, I realized I was already using real plates and real cups (no paper ones on hand)..."
See? I make it sound like I chose real plates and cups simply because I'd run out of paper ones. So here's the honest reason: I usually don't *buy* paper ones, trying to get in the habit of using real dishes when I can.
Not to sound sanctimonious or anything. Honest.
After I published the preceding post, I realized that I did exactly what I was complaining about. Here's the relevant quote:
"When I was packing lunch for co-op this morning, I realized I was already using real plates and real cups (no paper ones on hand)..."
See? I make it sound like I chose real plates and cups simply because I'd run out of paper ones. So here's the honest reason: I usually don't *buy* paper ones, trying to get in the habit of using real dishes when I can.
Not to sound sanctimonious or anything. Honest.
Sanctimonium
So how do you explain why you do something without coming across as sanctimonious?
I'll tell you how I do it: I end up making stupid excuses. Like when I say "We don't watch T.V." Well, the reasons we don't are because we think it it eats up time, that it's pretty worthless entertainment, and much of it is trashy. But I can't say that without reflecting on others' choices. So what I say is, "We don't have a T.V. because if we did, we'd watch anything that was on!" Which is true, but it's not our primary reason.
I did it again this afternoon. When I was packing lunch for co-op this morning, I realized I was already using real plates and real cups (no paper ones on hand). So, what the heck, I threw in cloth napkins as well. I liked the idea of minimizing our trash. At lunchtime, I laid out the kids' lunch, and I got a couple of jibes about my "table linens." Did I say, "Well, it bothers me how we so easily throw away so much trash." No, I didn't. I said, "It was what I had on hand."
So instead of owning up to the fact that I made a conscious decision to use cloth instead of paper, I just made myself look slapdash and lazy. And if I do this with relatively minor decisions, it doesn't bode well for explaining myself when I get a heavy question like, "Why do you homeschool?" or "Why do you go to church?"
So I'm pondering the dilemma: how to be honest without sounding sanctimonious. Let me know if you figure it out.
-- SJ
I'll tell you how I do it: I end up making stupid excuses. Like when I say "We don't watch T.V." Well, the reasons we don't are because we think it it eats up time, that it's pretty worthless entertainment, and much of it is trashy. But I can't say that without reflecting on others' choices. So what I say is, "We don't have a T.V. because if we did, we'd watch anything that was on!" Which is true, but it's not our primary reason.
I did it again this afternoon. When I was packing lunch for co-op this morning, I realized I was already using real plates and real cups (no paper ones on hand). So, what the heck, I threw in cloth napkins as well. I liked the idea of minimizing our trash. At lunchtime, I laid out the kids' lunch, and I got a couple of jibes about my "table linens." Did I say, "Well, it bothers me how we so easily throw away so much trash." No, I didn't. I said, "It was what I had on hand."
So instead of owning up to the fact that I made a conscious decision to use cloth instead of paper, I just made myself look slapdash and lazy. And if I do this with relatively minor decisions, it doesn't bode well for explaining myself when I get a heavy question like, "Why do you homeschool?" or "Why do you go to church?"
So I'm pondering the dilemma: how to be honest without sounding sanctimonious. Let me know if you figure it out.
-- SJ
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
It Is Finished: The Kids' Rooms
We got it done! (And no mop touched a wall during the process.) Both bedrooms are freshly painted, and we're pretty darn pleased with the results. Here are pictures; please make the usual allowances for run-of-the-mill camera and lighting.
The girls' room was originally an inoffensive light blue:
I'd intended to paint it a very light pink with red trim, but ended up with rather pink walls and *very* rather pink trim. Fortunately, Addie and Daphne both love it:
Here's Stuart's room in its original B-b-b-blue. This is what it was when we moved in, so at least we knew the room could take an intense color:
The Search for the Purple lasted for some weeks. He liked Brave Purple, fine and good. But then I switched paint companies, and the new paint card I brought home had a different name for the same color. They called it "Butterfly Garden." We were right back to lavender again: could I really let Stuart glibly inform everyone that his room was painted "Butterfly Garden"? (And he would, too. That was its name, and he wouldn't budge.) After much negotiation, we settled on a shade bluer. This one is called "Magic Moment." Smaltzy, yes, but to Stuart it means wizards and dragons, so all was well. It turned out to be an inspired choice: we all love this color.
(Darren would like to point out that whoever did that wide beige band at the top of the room sure did a top-notch job. I, personally, am pretty pleased with that red trim.)
Yay! It's done! Now to roust out the House Fairies and make them put this house back in order again.
-- SJ
The girls' room was originally an inoffensive light blue:
I'd intended to paint it a very light pink with red trim, but ended up with rather pink walls and *very* rather pink trim. Fortunately, Addie and Daphne both love it:
Here's Stuart's room in its original B-b-b-blue. This is what it was when we moved in, so at least we knew the room could take an intense color:
The Search for the Purple lasted for some weeks. He liked Brave Purple, fine and good. But then I switched paint companies, and the new paint card I brought home had a different name for the same color. They called it "Butterfly Garden." We were right back to lavender again: could I really let Stuart glibly inform everyone that his room was painted "Butterfly Garden"? (And he would, too. That was its name, and he wouldn't budge.) After much negotiation, we settled on a shade bluer. This one is called "Magic Moment." Smaltzy, yes, but to Stuart it means wizards and dragons, so all was well. It turned out to be an inspired choice: we all love this color.
(Darren would like to point out that whoever did that wide beige band at the top of the room sure did a top-notch job. I, personally, am pretty pleased with that red trim.)
Yay! It's done! Now to roust out the House Fairies and make them put this house back in order again.
-- SJ
Monday, March 30, 2009
What We Think -- "Poplorica" and "I Loved a Girl"
What we think is that you have to read these books. The end.
Poplorica is my type of book: nonfiction, advertising, modern culture, little-known facts, recent history... I had high hopes for it when I picked it up. It listed several (ten? twelve?) little-recognized innovations that have shaped our way of living today. The authors highlighted a random assortment, including: product placements in movies; nylon pantyhose; the rise of suburban lawns and lawncare; "supertanker" disposable diapers; and the slam dunk in basketball. Remarkably for me, I also liked the authors' voice and style throughout. I enjoyed this book thoroughly, so it stands to reason that everybody else will, also. Um, except that Darren didn't read it, but he did like hearing about it.
The second book is one that Darren found, read, and brought home insisting I should read. (The man's optimism is breathtaking.) I Loved a Girl is a short book, a quick read, and one that will bear up under many more readings. Set in Africa in the 1960s, it's a collection of letters between a young African man and the white missionary pastor who baptised him. Francois has been dismissed from his job at a Christian school because, as he put it, he "last month loved a girl." He had sex with her, and now is angry and doesn't understand why it cost him his job AND put him "under church discipline" for six months. As he and the pastor correspond, a more complete picture unfolds: not only the immediate circumstances, but the difficulties and cultural pressures that African young people faced at that time. The letters also explore the meaning of love and sex, placing it far above mere pleasure or proving oneself.
Things take an even more interesting turn when Francois meets Cecile and they fall in love. Whether they can have a happily-ever-after is very uncertain.
I loved this book because the letters were open and honest. Walter, the pastor, is understanding but not afraid of tough love. The book also highlights some of the culture conflicts that the white missionaries created when they moved in among the Africans. (Leah, I wondered especially if you would find it interesting, as your departure to Ghana approaches.)
All of which is the long way of saying, You should read these books. The end.
Poplorica is my type of book: nonfiction, advertising, modern culture, little-known facts, recent history... I had high hopes for it when I picked it up. It listed several (ten? twelve?) little-recognized innovations that have shaped our way of living today. The authors highlighted a random assortment, including: product placements in movies; nylon pantyhose; the rise of suburban lawns and lawncare; "supertanker" disposable diapers; and the slam dunk in basketball. Remarkably for me, I also liked the authors' voice and style throughout. I enjoyed this book thoroughly, so it stands to reason that everybody else will, also. Um, except that Darren didn't read it, but he did like hearing about it.
The second book is one that Darren found, read, and brought home insisting I should read. (The man's optimism is breathtaking.) I Loved a Girl is a short book, a quick read, and one that will bear up under many more readings. Set in Africa in the 1960s, it's a collection of letters between a young African man and the white missionary pastor who baptised him. Francois has been dismissed from his job at a Christian school because, as he put it, he "last month loved a girl." He had sex with her, and now is angry and doesn't understand why it cost him his job AND put him "under church discipline" for six months. As he and the pastor correspond, a more complete picture unfolds: not only the immediate circumstances, but the difficulties and cultural pressures that African young people faced at that time. The letters also explore the meaning of love and sex, placing it far above mere pleasure or proving oneself.
Things take an even more interesting turn when Francois meets Cecile and they fall in love. Whether they can have a happily-ever-after is very uncertain.
I loved this book because the letters were open and honest. Walter, the pastor, is understanding but not afraid of tough love. The book also highlights some of the culture conflicts that the white missionaries created when they moved in among the Africans. (Leah, I wondered especially if you would find it interesting, as your departure to Ghana approaches.)
All of which is the long way of saying, You should read these books. The end.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Geronimo, Remixed
The times kids have the most fun is when their parents are too busy and distracted to pay attention to them.
We were painting Addie's room tonight. Left to their own, the kids found the mattress we'd taken off Addie's bunk bed. They propped one end on our bed and took turns launching themselves onto it. (I knew vaguely what they were doing, but refused to decide if they should or not.)
After a bit, Darren stopped painting and said, "Stuart, what did you just say?"
Stuart, sheepish, said that it was nothing.
"No, really, I'm curious. It sounded like you said 'African pierogies.'"
"That IS what I said." And Stuart launched himself onto the mattress again, shouting, "African pierogies!"
Who needs Geronimo when you have African pierogies?
-- SJ
We were painting Addie's room tonight. Left to their own, the kids found the mattress we'd taken off Addie's bunk bed. They propped one end on our bed and took turns launching themselves onto it. (I knew vaguely what they were doing, but refused to decide if they should or not.)
After a bit, Darren stopped painting and said, "Stuart, what did you just say?"
Stuart, sheepish, said that it was nothing.
"No, really, I'm curious. It sounded like you said 'African pierogies.'"
"That IS what I said." And Stuart launched himself onto the mattress again, shouting, "African pierogies!"
Who needs Geronimo when you have African pierogies?
-- SJ
Look Under There! Underwear!
Addie and Stuart, exiled into the hallway, were watching Darren roll primer onto Stuart's wall. "What's that for?" they asked.
"It's the paint that goes under the real paint... it helps the top paint look good..." Blank looks. He rephrased. "It's the paint's underwear."
Rarely has Darren given a more pleasing answer to a question. The kids SING about it now. And now you know, too: primer is the paint's underwear. Just try to forget it.
-- SJ
"It's the paint that goes under the real paint... it helps the top paint look good..." Blank looks. He rephrased. "It's the paint's underwear."
Rarely has Darren given a more pleasing answer to a question. The kids SING about it now. And now you know, too: primer is the paint's underwear. Just try to forget it.
-- SJ
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Long-Distance Relationship
Some time back, a friend asked if we'd do a post on how to maintain a long-distance relationship. My and Darren's courtship and engagement was short (less than a year) but it was conducted over a span of 900 miles. We saw each other for a few days once a month, except one month right before we got married, when we didn't see each other at all. Not that it bothered me so much that I still remember it eight years later.
I put some thought into the topic, but in the end I couldn't come up with much advice except, "Be prepared to spend lots of money on plane tickets and phone bills." How *did* Darren and I develop a very good relationship so far apart?
Last night we cleaned out the bookshelf in Stuart's room in preparation for painting, and I found the binders of our emails and chats.
So, yeah, Janice, here's how we did it:
-- SJ
I put some thought into the topic, but in the end I couldn't come up with much advice except, "Be prepared to spend lots of money on plane tickets and phone bills." How *did* Darren and I develop a very good relationship so far apart?
Last night we cleaned out the bookshelf in Stuart's room in preparation for painting, and I found the binders of our emails and chats.
So, yeah, Janice, here's how we did it:
-- SJ
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Budget Post
For the past two weeks, I've been wrapped up in setting up an entirely new budgeting system for the household. This is not a plea for sympathy: I've enjoyed it thoroughly. It's one of those things that I call "inconsistent with my character sketch": if I were a fictional character -- anti-list, anti-schedules, numerophobic -- no reader would believe I'd enjoy dealing with a detailed system of numbers.
But I do. After all, I don't have to do any actual calculating myself (that's why computers were INVENTED). Meanwhile, I like knowing exactly what's available in which category. We did start out that way, but somewhere around kid two or three, I got lazy and content with a very Victorian arrangement in our marriage: I'd just ask Darren if we had enough for whatever I wanted. Or I'd inform him of what I bought and let him do the transfers necessary to cover the expenses. Very neat and patriarchal of us, but not very sound financial practice.
Because I've been so preoccupied with the budget -- as in, racking my brain for other topics to talk about just to relieve Darren's monotony -- I've been musing over the following unrelated money-type thoughts recently:
1. A friend was advising me on how to cut down on the grocery bill, and a large part of her advice was "shop at Wal-Mart." I replied that I don't shop at Wal-Mart. She agreed that the one in town is a death-trap, but the newer one outside of town was less crowded. "No," I said, "I don't shop at Wal-Mart at all. Period. On principle." The trouble is, it's a very vague principle, made up of equal parts of dislike (Wal-Mart has pushed out every other competing business in my hometown, leaving residents with no other shopping choice); discomfort (I don't like relying on China to make my life better... but I shop at Target, and it's not like they're all stars and stripes themselves); and stubbornness (if everyone else shops at Wal-Mart, then I sure as heck won't). It's annoying that a vague principle can cost extra money.
2. However, after two or three years of eschewing Wal-Mart, I'm glad to say that my horizon has broadened. When I think, "I need to buy a box of small nails and a hairbrush," I then think, "So which stores do I need to go to?" I shop a much larger variety of stores now that I can't get everything in one (crowded, headachey, greed-breeding) place.
3. Budget cuts aren't as easy as the articles make it appear. It's easy to say, "Cut out that Starbucks coffee!", but then you're left with the reality that you don't get that yummy coffee you're so attached to. (Not that I patronize Starbucks, of course.) Especially when the yummy coffee is already a once-a-month treat. Especially when you really don't want to see your beloved local chain go under from lack of business.
4. Also, it's easy to advise, "Drop unnecessary magazine subscriptions." That's fine and good for BH&G, which is a huge corporation and probably could manufacture its own customers to buy its magazine if it had to. But the little magazines that depend on our support to survive... it's as much a favor as a pleasure to subscribe.
5. Same goes for the farm that we bought shares in. It's expensive, not to mention risky if the growing season turns out to be a disaster. Much cheaper to get produce at the grocery store (or WAL-MART). But we want to support the farm.
6. Living "green" and "organically" is not budget-friendly.
7. So much for a "budget post." This thing's long. Darren's the one who practices economy of words, not me.
-- SJ
But I do. After all, I don't have to do any actual calculating myself (that's why computers were INVENTED). Meanwhile, I like knowing exactly what's available in which category. We did start out that way, but somewhere around kid two or three, I got lazy and content with a very Victorian arrangement in our marriage: I'd just ask Darren if we had enough for whatever I wanted. Or I'd inform him of what I bought and let him do the transfers necessary to cover the expenses. Very neat and patriarchal of us, but not very sound financial practice.
Because I've been so preoccupied with the budget -- as in, racking my brain for other topics to talk about just to relieve Darren's monotony -- I've been musing over the following unrelated money-type thoughts recently:
1. A friend was advising me on how to cut down on the grocery bill, and a large part of her advice was "shop at Wal-Mart." I replied that I don't shop at Wal-Mart. She agreed that the one in town is a death-trap, but the newer one outside of town was less crowded. "No," I said, "I don't shop at Wal-Mart at all. Period. On principle." The trouble is, it's a very vague principle, made up of equal parts of dislike (Wal-Mart has pushed out every other competing business in my hometown, leaving residents with no other shopping choice); discomfort (I don't like relying on China to make my life better... but I shop at Target, and it's not like they're all stars and stripes themselves); and stubbornness (if everyone else shops at Wal-Mart, then I sure as heck won't). It's annoying that a vague principle can cost extra money.
2. However, after two or three years of eschewing Wal-Mart, I'm glad to say that my horizon has broadened. When I think, "I need to buy a box of small nails and a hairbrush," I then think, "So which stores do I need to go to?" I shop a much larger variety of stores now that I can't get everything in one (crowded, headachey, greed-breeding) place.
3. Budget cuts aren't as easy as the articles make it appear. It's easy to say, "Cut out that Starbucks coffee!", but then you're left with the reality that you don't get that yummy coffee you're so attached to. (Not that I patronize Starbucks, of course.) Especially when the yummy coffee is already a once-a-month treat. Especially when you really don't want to see your beloved local chain go under from lack of business.
4. Also, it's easy to advise, "Drop unnecessary magazine subscriptions." That's fine and good for BH&G, which is a huge corporation and probably could manufacture its own customers to buy its magazine if it had to. But the little magazines that depend on our support to survive... it's as much a favor as a pleasure to subscribe.
5. Same goes for the farm that we bought shares in. It's expensive, not to mention risky if the growing season turns out to be a disaster. Much cheaper to get produce at the grocery store (or WAL-MART). But we want to support the farm.
6. Living "green" and "organically" is not budget-friendly.
7. So much for a "budget post." This thing's long. Darren's the one who practices economy of words, not me.
-- SJ
Monday, March 23, 2009
Hospitality
It's nice to wake up to a clean house on a Monday morning. Last night we hosted a "dessert event" for Romania Reborn, a ministry we've supported for years. It's looking to expand its donor base -- take a look.
The adults (there were six) seemed to enjoy Jayme's and Christian's presentation. The kids (there were ten) ran in and out of the house, ate brownies, and from all appearances would be up to a dessert evening every Sunday.
And, having given the gift of hospitality, we're left with the gift of a house that's still neat. Fair exchange.
-- SJ
The adults (there were six) seemed to enjoy Jayme's and Christian's presentation. The kids (there were ten) ran in and out of the house, ate brownies, and from all appearances would be up to a dessert evening every Sunday.
And, having given the gift of hospitality, we're left with the gift of a house that's still neat. Fair exchange.
-- SJ
Friday, March 20, 2009
Painting: Expert Advice
So for all you experienced room-painters, a question:
Four different "how to" articles advised us to clean the walls with mops and two buckets of water before painting. The dirt and grease on the old paint would keep the new paint from sticking properly, they said.
Have you had to do this incredibly tedious preparation? Because although you might not guess it from my question, I'm really hoping that it's a skippable step. Also I'd like documented evidence that it's skippable because otherwise my rule-following husband will point to the checklist and say, "But we have to do it to make it come out right, see?" (On an unrelated note, said husband's projects almost always turn out properly, unlike mine, which is no end of a puzzle to me.)
-- SJ
Four different "how to" articles advised us to clean the walls with mops and two buckets of water before painting. The dirt and grease on the old paint would keep the new paint from sticking properly, they said.
Have you had to do this incredibly tedious preparation? Because although you might not guess it from my question, I'm really hoping that it's a skippable step. Also I'd like documented evidence that it's skippable because otherwise my rule-following husband will point to the checklist and say, "But we have to do it to make it come out right, see?" (On an unrelated note, said husband's projects almost always turn out properly, unlike mine, which is no end of a puzzle to me.)
-- SJ
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Kid Quotes
Stuart
"In MY world, green is a primary color."
Daphne
"I'm a cat. I'm Daphne Joy Cat. I'm a red Daphne Joy Cat and I'm runnin' and jumpin'!"
(Where the "Joy" part came from is a mystery, as her middle name is Michele.)
*
Addie
"This is a petty mess!"
"Where did you get that saying?"
"The word 'petty' I got from a book. The word 'mess' I got from you."
-- SJ
"In MY world, green is a primary color."
Daphne
"I'm a cat. I'm Daphne Joy Cat. I'm a red Daphne Joy Cat and I'm runnin' and jumpin'!"
(Where the "Joy" part came from is a mystery, as her middle name is Michele.)
*
Addie
"This is a petty mess!"
"Where did you get that saying?"
"The word 'petty' I got from a book. The word 'mess' I got from you."
-- SJ
Sunday, March 15, 2009
The Beginning of the (Modern) World
It was the decade when everything seemed to go a little bit crazy. Youth became fashionable and thin was in, leading to nationwide diet crazes. Young people threw off conventional standards of behavior, saying that the older generation was phoney and pretentious. Commercialism, consumerism, and buying on credit became a way of life. Music went wild, dances went wild... pretty much the whole nation went wild.
The 60s?
Nope. The 20s.
I'm reading The 1920s by Kathleen Drowne (what a name) and Patrick Huber. It's been enlightening. When you read about previous eras of American History, you think, "Oh, that's a shift in mindset or way of life that eventually led to our world today." When you read about the 20s, you think, "Oh. That's our world."
It was in the 20s that Youth became a revered commodity, one that women would pay a lot to keep. The 20s introduced candy bars, celebrity endorsements, lay-away plans, dieting, and the first sharply-defined generation gap. Big chain grocery stores began during this time, as well as frozen foods, which homogenized American cuisine. Radio and magazines standardized American news and entertainment. Movies hit big. Fads came in and out at breathtaking speed, as did fashions. People did stupid things to national acclaim. It all looks a little ridiculous written down in one place, but then, so do we today.
It's been a very familiar ride through the book. Many of the innovations of the 20s are standards today: we don't even think about them. The book, one of a series, obviously isn't meant for pleasure reading. I think it's designed for writing history reports. I occasionally imagine myself doing "research" on "sports in the 20s" and having to compile the information in this book. Then I imagine I'm the teacher reading it. Pretty painful on both sides.
A fun nonfiction read, for those who think reading nonfiction is fun.
-- SJ
The 60s?
Nope. The 20s.
I'm reading The 1920s by Kathleen Drowne (what a name) and Patrick Huber. It's been enlightening. When you read about previous eras of American History, you think, "Oh, that's a shift in mindset or way of life that eventually led to our world today." When you read about the 20s, you think, "Oh. That's our world."
It was in the 20s that Youth became a revered commodity, one that women would pay a lot to keep. The 20s introduced candy bars, celebrity endorsements, lay-away plans, dieting, and the first sharply-defined generation gap. Big chain grocery stores began during this time, as well as frozen foods, which homogenized American cuisine. Radio and magazines standardized American news and entertainment. Movies hit big. Fads came in and out at breathtaking speed, as did fashions. People did stupid things to national acclaim. It all looks a little ridiculous written down in one place, but then, so do we today.
It's been a very familiar ride through the book. Many of the innovations of the 20s are standards today: we don't even think about them. The book, one of a series, obviously isn't meant for pleasure reading. I think it's designed for writing history reports. I occasionally imagine myself doing "research" on "sports in the 20s" and having to compile the information in this book. Then I imagine I'm the teacher reading it. Pretty painful on both sides.
A fun nonfiction read, for those who think reading nonfiction is fun.
-- SJ
Friday, March 13, 2009
Because It Has to Be Posted
My niece Katie took this picture of Daphne during her visit last month. It's one that, obviously, we have to share:
-- SJ
-- SJ
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Wise Counsel
It's something of a shock when a couple you perceive as happily married admits that they've been seeing a marital counselor.
Not to be shocking or anything, but Darren and I have been seeing a marital counselor.
We decided several weeks ago to set up an appointment with a Christian counselor (who came highly recommended by another family in the church). Well, we sort of talked about it, anyway. It was when our pastor (a veteran of marital counseling himself) advised us to do so that we actually called up the clinic. But we didn't mention it to many people. It's an awkward sort of conversation. First you have to assure your listener that you aren't having serious marital problems, and then you have to justify why you even want to see a counselor if you don't have any serious marital problems. Easier not to bring it up.
It's true that Darren and I have an easy relationship. Even the counselor said we were one of the best-matched couples she'd ever met. But just one session with a trained listener showed us why we'd encountered so many communication impasses recently. We both avoid conflict and hate confrontation. Instead of facing difficult topics head-on, I vent about peripheral issues and Darren simply withdraws. We also fell into habits during our early, immature married days that we persist in even now. We always knew some things were a little off-kilter. It was helpful to have someone explain ways to correct them.
It wasn't as if we realized that our marriage was frail and needed salvaging: it was that we wanted to prevent our marriage from ever needing salvaging.
Our counselor was the unrelated third party we needed to help us figure things out. She's a great fan of "tools," and gave us several communication helps that are, in a word, hokey. No, really: one of them is a set script where you actually have to use "dialogue" as a verb. She said we'd feel silly using the tools, but that we should get familiar with them anyway. If there's one thing Darren and I both are, it's good students. We went home and practiced, ahem, dialoguing.
Know what? It worked. We handled uncomfortable topics calmly and thoroughly. We got things decided on. It's amazingly conducive to peace when you know that your spouse has really heard what you've said -- not only the, "It bothers me when this happens," but also, "I so very much appreciate it when you do this."
We went only a few times: once a month, with babysitter fees, pushed the limit for a couple with young children. Just those few times were extremely helpful in understanding each other -- and ourselves. So our recommendation is that if you know of a good, trusted counselor, consider a few sessions to improve and maintain your marriage. You don't have to tell anybody you're going.
-- SJ and DJ
Not to be shocking or anything, but Darren and I have been seeing a marital counselor.
We decided several weeks ago to set up an appointment with a Christian counselor (who came highly recommended by another family in the church). Well, we sort of talked about it, anyway. It was when our pastor (a veteran of marital counseling himself) advised us to do so that we actually called up the clinic. But we didn't mention it to many people. It's an awkward sort of conversation. First you have to assure your listener that you aren't having serious marital problems, and then you have to justify why you even want to see a counselor if you don't have any serious marital problems. Easier not to bring it up.
It's true that Darren and I have an easy relationship. Even the counselor said we were one of the best-matched couples she'd ever met. But just one session with a trained listener showed us why we'd encountered so many communication impasses recently. We both avoid conflict and hate confrontation. Instead of facing difficult topics head-on, I vent about peripheral issues and Darren simply withdraws. We also fell into habits during our early, immature married days that we persist in even now. We always knew some things were a little off-kilter. It was helpful to have someone explain ways to correct them.
It wasn't as if we realized that our marriage was frail and needed salvaging: it was that we wanted to prevent our marriage from ever needing salvaging.
Our counselor was the unrelated third party we needed to help us figure things out. She's a great fan of "tools," and gave us several communication helps that are, in a word, hokey. No, really: one of them is a set script where you actually have to use "dialogue" as a verb. She said we'd feel silly using the tools, but that we should get familiar with them anyway. If there's one thing Darren and I both are, it's good students. We went home and practiced, ahem, dialoguing.
Know what? It worked. We handled uncomfortable topics calmly and thoroughly. We got things decided on. It's amazingly conducive to peace when you know that your spouse has really heard what you've said -- not only the, "It bothers me when this happens," but also, "I so very much appreciate it when you do this."
We went only a few times: once a month, with babysitter fees, pushed the limit for a couple with young children. Just those few times were extremely helpful in understanding each other -- and ourselves. So our recommendation is that if you know of a good, trusted counselor, consider a few sessions to improve and maintain your marriage. You don't have to tell anybody you're going.
-- SJ and DJ
Sunday, March 08, 2009
For Women Only, Again
Some time back I posted about an item of interest only to women. Well, here's another one. It's the Other Option for us women. Still a little off-putting to our hyper-disposable culture, but definitely has the virtue of thrift and conservation.
Men, trust me, you do wish to avoid this topic.
-- SJ
Men, trust me, you do wish to avoid this topic.
-- SJ
What Caught My Eye
I was driving past a car dealership and caught sight of a young man wearing a white muscle shirt -- and he looked good in it, too. He was looking at the Big Trucks. As I drove on, he turned. That's when I saw that he was holding a small bundle wrapped in a pink-and-blue blanket. The sight of a virile young father, looking at trucks while cradling his newborn, is one that I'll enjoy remembering.
-- SJ
-- SJ
Sunday Report
For the first time in months (possibly running into years), I enjoyed church this morning.
We took along our neighbor, Mollie, who is interested in every single thing going on. Her enthusiasm was catching: she and Addie sat together and sang the songs and followed along with the Scripture readings. Stuart hasn't figured out that participating wards off boredom, but he did at least spend some of the time reading his Bible. And Daphne apparently took a Good Vitamin this morning, because she was reasonably quiet and very well-behaved. I was in the pew with four children by myself for most of the service, and had a fine time. Probably because I spent the whole time teaching -- pointing out readings, getting Daphne to sing "Lalalala" with the music, and answering questions. (I'm one of those annoying homeschoolers who absolutely loves sitting down with the kids and teaching.)
The communion hymn was "Living for Jesus." Darren and I had taught the kids the first verse and chorus. Stuart waited in impatient anticipation throughout the whole service for that song. Then he sang happily and audibly even while waiting to receive communion. Addie one-upped him: she went and stood beside Darren at the front of the church and sang there. Our pastor, Fr. Tim, remarked afterward that it was a Jones Singalong Song. Addie replied very loudly, "We were well-trained at home in the first verse." I think that answer deserves candy.
-- SJ
We took along our neighbor, Mollie, who is interested in every single thing going on. Her enthusiasm was catching: she and Addie sat together and sang the songs and followed along with the Scripture readings. Stuart hasn't figured out that participating wards off boredom, but he did at least spend some of the time reading his Bible. And Daphne apparently took a Good Vitamin this morning, because she was reasonably quiet and very well-behaved. I was in the pew with four children by myself for most of the service, and had a fine time. Probably because I spent the whole time teaching -- pointing out readings, getting Daphne to sing "Lalalala" with the music, and answering questions. (I'm one of those annoying homeschoolers who absolutely loves sitting down with the kids and teaching.)
The communion hymn was "Living for Jesus." Darren and I had taught the kids the first verse and chorus. Stuart waited in impatient anticipation throughout the whole service for that song. Then he sang happily and audibly even while waiting to receive communion. Addie one-upped him: she went and stood beside Darren at the front of the church and sang there. Our pastor, Fr. Tim, remarked afterward that it was a Jones Singalong Song. Addie replied very loudly, "We were well-trained at home in the first verse." I think that answer deserves candy.
-- SJ
Friday, March 06, 2009
Brave Purple
Yes, Stuart has chosen Brave Purple for his room color. I am thrilled with his choice because for the past six months, he's declared that his favorite color is lavender. He wanted his room painted lavender. And as much as I avoid characterizing colors as "boy" or "girl" colors, I balked at the prospect of painting my six-year-old boy's room light purple.
So Brave Purple is dark enough that I think we can swing it masculine. I think Stuart mostly just likes the name of it. My mother suggested pairing it with tan. Any other suggestions for making sure this color comes out royal and regal instead of light and airy-fairy?
-- SJ
So Brave Purple is dark enough that I think we can swing it masculine. I think Stuart mostly just likes the name of it. My mother suggested pairing it with tan. Any other suggestions for making sure this color comes out royal and regal instead of light and airy-fairy?
-- SJ
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Conversations with Daddy's Girls
Yesterday, Daphne was jumping on and off my chair and chattering (two favorite activities). Sara heard her say, "Daddy is nice to me. I love him."
*****
Last night, Addie came up and began patting my stomach.
"Daddy, I think you need to start doing some exercising."
"Yes, Addie, that's why I've started taking karate again."
"Yes, but I think you should do some exercises at home. Maybe you should add some yoga or some push-ups and sit-ups. Or perhaps you could do a Tae-Bo video."
*****
On a completely unrelated note, I did push-ups and sit-ups this morning before getting dressed.
--DJ
*****
Last night, Addie came up and began patting my stomach.
"Daddy, I think you need to start doing some exercising."
"Yes, Addie, that's why I've started taking karate again."
"Yes, but I think you should do some exercises at home. Maybe you should add some yoga or some push-ups and sit-ups. Or perhaps you could do a Tae-Bo video."
*****
On a completely unrelated note, I did push-ups and sit-ups this morning before getting dressed.
--DJ
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Stuart's First Post
Guest blogger today, at his own request.
hi, stuart here.this is my first post! i want to paint my room BRAVE PURPLE, i like titan quest,and the best thing,im good at math in shcool! love,stuart.
hi, stuart here.this is my first post! i want to paint my room BRAVE PURPLE, i like titan quest,and the best thing,im good at math in shcool! love,stuart.
Monday, March 02, 2009
An Open Letter
Dear CCM bands,
I've been listening to random tracks from our computer, most of them downloaded by Darren as possible songs to introduce at church. After three or four songs, I felt compelled to write a word or two to you letting you know what I think.
First of all, I do understand that you're so cool you can hardly stand to be in the same room with yourself. Still, even cool people can use a brush-up on basics every now and then.
Take phonics, for instance. I don't know what school you went to, but apparently you all went to the same one, where they taught you that G-O-D is pronounced "gaad." It is not pronounced that way, and it detracts from your message when you address all your praises to the "Lord Gaad."
Secondly, I realize that you've carefully cultivated your singing style. However, as a mother of three, I have to say that if any of my children use that tone of voice around me, they're sent to their rooms to count to 50 for whining. Take the phrase "to sing a greater song" for instance. Substitute the words, in the same tone of voice, "But I don't like green beans!" See? Straight to your room.
Your music is pretty good, although you could turn down the guitar and drum tracks and not hurt my feelings any. But haven't you noticed that all your music is downbeat? That none of your music is actually happy-sounding? That's okay for songs about suffering and praising God in the hard times. But when you're singing "Alleluia, we will lift you higher"? You make it sound like serious, heart-wrenching work. But maybe worshiping the Lord Gaad is a more painful experience than worshiping the Lord God. That would explain the whining.
If you'll just address these small, but important, issues, I think you'll agree that while you might lose a few hundred fans today, you won't sound absolutely ridiculous twenty years from now. Think about it.
Sincerely,
-- SJ
I've been listening to random tracks from our computer, most of them downloaded by Darren as possible songs to introduce at church. After three or four songs, I felt compelled to write a word or two to you letting you know what I think.
First of all, I do understand that you're so cool you can hardly stand to be in the same room with yourself. Still, even cool people can use a brush-up on basics every now and then.
Take phonics, for instance. I don't know what school you went to, but apparently you all went to the same one, where they taught you that G-O-D is pronounced "gaad." It is not pronounced that way, and it detracts from your message when you address all your praises to the "Lord Gaad."
Secondly, I realize that you've carefully cultivated your singing style. However, as a mother of three, I have to say that if any of my children use that tone of voice around me, they're sent to their rooms to count to 50 for whining. Take the phrase "to sing a greater song" for instance. Substitute the words, in the same tone of voice, "But I don't like green beans!" See? Straight to your room.
Your music is pretty good, although you could turn down the guitar and drum tracks and not hurt my feelings any. But haven't you noticed that all your music is downbeat? That none of your music is actually happy-sounding? That's okay for songs about suffering and praising God in the hard times. But when you're singing "Alleluia, we will lift you higher"? You make it sound like serious, heart-wrenching work. But maybe worshiping the Lord Gaad is a more painful experience than worshiping the Lord God. That would explain the whining.
If you'll just address these small, but important, issues, I think you'll agree that while you might lose a few hundred fans today, you won't sound absolutely ridiculous twenty years from now. Think about it.
Sincerely,
-- SJ
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Laziness and Sleep
*1.*
Why should I clean my house every week? As long as we live in it happily, who cares if I skip chores for a week? Or two? Or so? Thus did I think, sailing down lazy river, until we invited friends over for supper. The kitchen had to be cleaned, the floor swept, the living areas picked up and vacuumed, the bathroom wiped down.
It took me ALL BLASTED DAY to clean the house -- just to get it to "tidy," forget "clean and shiny." I was exhausted by the time company came.
So why clean my house every week? So I don't use up all my hospitable energy making the house presentable. Valuable lesson learned.
*2.*
I spent Friday night and Saturday at a homeschool mom's conference. The speakers were good, but I sat through so many seminars and speakers when I was younger that if it were just to hear good talks, I'd have stayed home. No, it was better than that. My friend Erin and I went together, without any kids. It was held in a posh hotel where even the bathroom stalls were elegant. The bed was white and fluffy and heavenly. I was a happy woman.
This morning, I and the kids didn't go to church with Darren. I was feeling draggy. As the morning wore on, I wore down. Why was I so tired and irritable to be back home? I just had a weekend break, for heaven's sake! I come home and still feel whiny and demanding and put-upon. How hopeless *am* I, anyway?
Darren got home about noon. I fell asleep on the couch by 1:30. Darren woke me up to go back to the bed, where I snuggled in and passed out for two hours. Just before I fell asleep, I realized that I am six months pregnant and I'd missed my all-important nap two days in a row. I wasn't whiny and demanding and hopeless. I was simply tired.
Sometimes spiritual struggles have very physical roots. Valuable lesson to remember.
Why should I clean my house every week? As long as we live in it happily, who cares if I skip chores for a week? Or two? Or so? Thus did I think, sailing down lazy river, until we invited friends over for supper. The kitchen had to be cleaned, the floor swept, the living areas picked up and vacuumed, the bathroom wiped down.
It took me ALL BLASTED DAY to clean the house -- just to get it to "tidy," forget "clean and shiny." I was exhausted by the time company came.
So why clean my house every week? So I don't use up all my hospitable energy making the house presentable. Valuable lesson learned.
*2.*
I spent Friday night and Saturday at a homeschool mom's conference. The speakers were good, but I sat through so many seminars and speakers when I was younger that if it were just to hear good talks, I'd have stayed home. No, it was better than that. My friend Erin and I went together, without any kids. It was held in a posh hotel where even the bathroom stalls were elegant. The bed was white and fluffy and heavenly. I was a happy woman.
This morning, I and the kids didn't go to church with Darren. I was feeling draggy. As the morning wore on, I wore down. Why was I so tired and irritable to be back home? I just had a weekend break, for heaven's sake! I come home and still feel whiny and demanding and put-upon. How hopeless *am* I, anyway?
Darren got home about noon. I fell asleep on the couch by 1:30. Darren woke me up to go back to the bed, where I snuggled in and passed out for two hours. Just before I fell asleep, I realized that I am six months pregnant and I'd missed my all-important nap two days in a row. I wasn't whiny and demanding and hopeless. I was simply tired.
Sometimes spiritual struggles have very physical roots. Valuable lesson to remember.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Baby's Birthday,
via scheduled c-section, is officially June 8. Imagine that, knowing exactly how long the pregnancy should run. Why didn't God design it this way naturally?!
-- SJ
-- SJ
Ash Wednesday
Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent, forty days of fasting and prayer before Easter. I'd like to take this opportunity to write something a little weightier and thoughtful than my usual fare. That, however, requires some time to devote to weightierness, thoughtfulness, and the time to articulate it. So maybe not this time.
In other years I've dreaded Lent, and last year I was in a spiritual sulk and tantrum for most of the year so I basically ignored Lent. This year I still don't feel properly "prepared"; I think I have the idea that I'm supposed to be spending time in deep prayer and devotions before I even get to the actual observance. Not that I tend to set my standards too high.
My personal prayer for Lent is to understand God the Father as loving and good, not as a spiteful and whimsical. Not that I've got some issues here.
I was once told that I could become an intercessor, one who prays for others. Ha, ha, I laugh -- I can't focus on a prayer for more than twenty seconds at a time. But I'd like to try, for this season. If you have a request that you'd specifically like prayed over for the next forty days, email me (exaltedwater at comcast dot net or my juno address) or leave a request in the comment section, anonymous if you like, although I would like some kind of initial or identifying name -- not necessarily yours, just something to think of you by.
Even if you don't observe Lent -- and as one coming from a Southern Baptist background, and reliving all the discovery and puzzlement of traditional Church practices through conversations with my niece these last two weeks, I sympathize -- stop occasionally and reflect that whatever struggles, issues, or impossibly high standards you're not overcoming, the hope and triumph of Easter is coming!
-- SJ
In other years I've dreaded Lent, and last year I was in a spiritual sulk and tantrum for most of the year so I basically ignored Lent. This year I still don't feel properly "prepared"; I think I have the idea that I'm supposed to be spending time in deep prayer and devotions before I even get to the actual observance. Not that I tend to set my standards too high.
My personal prayer for Lent is to understand God the Father as loving and good, not as a spiteful and whimsical. Not that I've got some issues here.
I was once told that I could become an intercessor, one who prays for others. Ha, ha, I laugh -- I can't focus on a prayer for more than twenty seconds at a time. But I'd like to try, for this season. If you have a request that you'd specifically like prayed over for the next forty days, email me (exaltedwater at comcast dot net or my juno address) or leave a request in the comment section, anonymous if you like, although I would like some kind of initial or identifying name -- not necessarily yours, just something to think of you by.
Even if you don't observe Lent -- and as one coming from a Southern Baptist background, and reliving all the discovery and puzzlement of traditional Church practices through conversations with my niece these last two weeks, I sympathize -- stop occasionally and reflect that whatever struggles, issues, or impossibly high standards you're not overcoming, the hope and triumph of Easter is coming!
-- SJ
Thursday, February 19, 2009
A Book Post -- Sara's Version - 37
EDIT: see #93
Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.
2) Add a '+' to the ones you LOVE.
3) Star (*) those you plan on reading. (I mostly forgot to do this)
4) Tally your total and put it in the title.
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (X+) Of course. And, like Darren, I've liked most of the movie versions. The Greer Garson one is an exception.
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (X) It was years and years before I read the series, because they were so popular and I had a friend whose conversation wouldn't exist without quotes from the books. Having heard too much about them, I decided I didn't like the books. I did read them before marrying Darren.
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte (X) – I liked this book, when I read it, because I wasn't sure that Jane would make the right choice or not. I like it when I can't quite trust the author to bring about a happy ending.
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (X+) - Fortunately I hadn't heard of these books until Darren told me about them, so I didn't have to decide I didn't them. My favorite is also #5, mostly because Rowling champions non-systemized education.
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee (X+) – One of the only set-in-the South books I've loved.
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell (X) – I liked this one very much, despite being repelled by much of it.
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens (X) – I've read most of Dickens, but find his characters too grotesque to love.
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott (X) – Enjoyable but not one I fell in love with. Also I cried with Beth died, which made me mad.
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier (X) – Mom calls this book "high class trash reading." Liked it, although it bothered me throughout that the heroine's name is never mentioned.
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (X+) – Came to this one late in life. Liked it very much.
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger – I think I started this one, but I'm not so much into angst, and my impression is that this book is.
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell (X)
22 The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams (X) – Enjoyed it, but wondered how someone could think so bizarrely as to write books like it.
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh (X) I got through it, which was saying a lot. Waugh and I don't think on the same wavelength.
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (X) – Talk about bizarre thinking. But the book and Disney's movie version was a frequent source of quotes when I was growing up, so I'm fond of it.
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame (X) – Fun characters, most especially Mr. Toad.
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens (X)
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis (X+) – "The Horse and His Boy" is my favorite, but I love all of them.
34 Emma - Jane Austen (X) – I like this one less than P&P, but still very entertaining.
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen (X) A little darker than all her others.
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (X+)
37 Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini - Started it, until I realized that something horrible was going to happen and I didn't want to read it.
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne (X)
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell (X+)
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown – possibly one day, but not a priority
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez - Just came across this title. Am curious about it.
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White – (X)
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery (X+) – Reread this book about a week ago, and its charm remains intact. I read the second one, but not any of the others.
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding (X) – Oh, ugh. I read it and have no wish to remember much of it.
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons - I loved the movie and I really want to read the book.
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen (X+)
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens (X)
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon - This one got killed by public accolades. I don't want to read it now.
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov - Half of me really wants to read this, the other half of me thinks I'll live a happy life if I don't.
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas - Dumas' books give me a headache.
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding - Started it, but it suffers the same fate as LOTR: so many imitators that now the original sounds cliched and stale.
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens (X)
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett (X) – I like much of this one, but like Darren, "The Little Princess" is my favorite.
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray (X)
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (X)
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker (X) My friend Nina loves this book because, after all the trials and heartbreaks, it comes to a good conclusion. I couldn't get past the heartbreaks to feel good about the ending.
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White (X) – Grew up watching the movie (in school) and have read the book a few times. We got the name Avery from that book and wanted to name a son that -- at the same time that lots of other moms decided to give it to their daughters.
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom - His columns didn't interest me, so I never picked up his book.
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (X+)
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (X)
93 The Cracker Factory - Joyce Rebeta-Burditt (X) I accidentally marked "The Wasp Factory" as read, when I haven't actually heard of it. So I substituted this book that I have read.
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams (*)
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Toole
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare - I read half of it.
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl (X) – Saw the old movie version in school hundreds of times, and read the book several times. I liked the Burton version very much, oddly enough. (And it was odd.)
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.
2) Add a '+' to the ones you LOVE.
3) Star (*) those you plan on reading. (I mostly forgot to do this)
4) Tally your total and put it in the title.
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (X+) Of course. And, like Darren, I've liked most of the movie versions. The Greer Garson one is an exception.
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (X) It was years and years before I read the series, because they were so popular and I had a friend whose conversation wouldn't exist without quotes from the books. Having heard too much about them, I decided I didn't like the books. I did read them before marrying Darren.
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte (X) – I liked this book, when I read it, because I wasn't sure that Jane would make the right choice or not. I like it when I can't quite trust the author to bring about a happy ending.
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (X+) - Fortunately I hadn't heard of these books until Darren told me about them, so I didn't have to decide I didn't them. My favorite is also #5, mostly because Rowling champions non-systemized education.
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee (X+) – One of the only set-in-the South books I've loved.
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell (X) – I liked this one very much, despite being repelled by much of it.
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens (X) – I've read most of Dickens, but find his characters too grotesque to love.
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott (X) – Enjoyable but not one I fell in love with. Also I cried with Beth died, which made me mad.
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier (X) – Mom calls this book "high class trash reading." Liked it, although it bothered me throughout that the heroine's name is never mentioned.
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (X+) – Came to this one late in life. Liked it very much.
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger – I think I started this one, but I'm not so much into angst, and my impression is that this book is.
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell (X)
22 The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams (X) – Enjoyed it, but wondered how someone could think so bizarrely as to write books like it.
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh (X) I got through it, which was saying a lot. Waugh and I don't think on the same wavelength.
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (X) – Talk about bizarre thinking. But the book and Disney's movie version was a frequent source of quotes when I was growing up, so I'm fond of it.
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame (X) – Fun characters, most especially Mr. Toad.
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens (X)
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis (X+) – "The Horse and His Boy" is my favorite, but I love all of them.
34 Emma - Jane Austen (X) – I like this one less than P&P, but still very entertaining.
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen (X) A little darker than all her others.
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (X+)
37 Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini - Started it, until I realized that something horrible was going to happen and I didn't want to read it.
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne (X)
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell (X+)
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown – possibly one day, but not a priority
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez - Just came across this title. Am curious about it.
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White – (X)
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery (X+) – Reread this book about a week ago, and its charm remains intact. I read the second one, but not any of the others.
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding (X) – Oh, ugh. I read it and have no wish to remember much of it.
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons - I loved the movie and I really want to read the book.
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen (X+)
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens (X)
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon - This one got killed by public accolades. I don't want to read it now.
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov - Half of me really wants to read this, the other half of me thinks I'll live a happy life if I don't.
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas - Dumas' books give me a headache.
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding - Started it, but it suffers the same fate as LOTR: so many imitators that now the original sounds cliched and stale.
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens (X)
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett (X) – I like much of this one, but like Darren, "The Little Princess" is my favorite.
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray (X)
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (X)
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker (X) My friend Nina loves this book because, after all the trials and heartbreaks, it comes to a good conclusion. I couldn't get past the heartbreaks to feel good about the ending.
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White (X) – Grew up watching the movie (in school) and have read the book a few times. We got the name Avery from that book and wanted to name a son that -- at the same time that lots of other moms decided to give it to their daughters.
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom - His columns didn't interest me, so I never picked up his book.
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (X+)
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (X)
93 The Cracker Factory - Joyce Rebeta-Burditt (X) I accidentally marked "The Wasp Factory" as read, when I haven't actually heard of it. So I substituted this book that I have read.
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams (*)
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Toole
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare - I read half of it.
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl (X) – Saw the old movie version in school hundreds of times, and read the book several times. I liked the Burton version very much, oddly enough. (And it was odd.)
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
A Book Post - Darren's Version - 41
Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.
2) Add a '+' to the ones you LOVE.
3) Star (*) those you plan on reading.
4) Tally your total and put it in the title.
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (X+) – awesome book, several wonderful movie versions (the 6 hour one, “Bride and Prejudice,” and the Keira Knightley one (yes, I can hear the purists scream, but hey, I love Knightley)).
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (X+) – the world’s introduction to epic fantasy, and still about the best there is out there.
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte (X+) – I saw the WonderWorks version (from the mid-80s, I think?) before reading the book, and I was struck by how Christian the book was compared to the movie.
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (X+) - #5 (Order of the Phoenix) is my favorite. I love books about good secret societies. Probably why I enjoy David Morrell’s books so much.
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee (X+) – I think this may be the only book I was assigned to read in public high school English that I actually like.
6 The Bible (X+)
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte (X) – I couldn’t read this one, but I listened to it while commuting. In my opinion, it deserves the title “classic,” but I still hated it.
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell (X) – yuck.
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman (partial – read the first one, but didn’t like it enough to continue)
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens (X) – I don’t generally like Dickens, and I didn’t like the ending to this one.
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott (X) – Laurie and Jo should have ended up together. That’s all I have to say.
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (many, but nowhere near all)
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier (X) – creepy. Wonderfully so.
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (X+) – I love this book. Look forward to reading it to my kids.
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger – never plan to read it.
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell (*)
22 The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald (*)
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy (started it about 4 times, never finished. Too many Russian names)
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams (X) – I think I may have read one or two more of his, but I just don’t like his humor.
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh (X+) – listened to this one recently, and LOVED it!
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky (*)
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck – I can’t stand Steinbeck. All of the Steinbeck books I have read, I wish I could wash out of my mind.
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (X) – I read this one a long, long time ago. I remember almost nothing about it.
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame (X) – I don’t remember much about the book, but one of the animated versions (I forget which) makes me laugh so hard I cry.
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy (*) – Joseph Acker recommended this one to me when I was in high school, and I’ve never yet gotten around to reading it.
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens (X)
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis (X+) – Every couple years, my favorite changes. Currently, it’s “The Last Battle.”
34 Emma - Jane Austen (X) – Lindsay and I had a race to see who could finish this book first. She won.
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen (*)
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (X+)
37 Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne (X)
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell (X+) – When I have taught world history to homeschoolers, I assign them to read this book when we study the 20th Century.
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown – never, not in a million years
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White – (*)
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery (X+) – and most of the sequels, too!
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding (X) – I read this book once. I’m glad I did, but that’s enough for me.
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert (X+) – I reread this book every couple years. Too bad none of the sequels were as good.
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen (X)
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens (X)
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley (*)
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck (X)
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas (X+) – I LOVE this book! The carefully planned-out revenge, the unforeseen consequences, the tragedy – it’s great.
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens (X)
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker (X+) – I listened to this book last year, and it’s fantastic.
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett (X) – this one is okay, but her “A Little Princess” is one of my top ten favorite books, and I also love “The Lost Prince.”
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray (X) – this one was okay. Becky was great.
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (X+) – as done by the Muppets, this one is a must-see every Christmas!
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White (X) – I’m not a huge fan of White’s books. “Stuart Little” is positively evil, because of the lacking ending. I’m still bitter about that one.
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (X+)
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (X+) – this is one of the only books that can make me cry every time I read it.
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks (X)
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams (X+) – this book is awesome. As Tim Murray described it, “This book has bravery, adventure, evil villains, and noble heroes. Who cares if the heroes are rabbits?” Adams also wrote “Shardik,” another of my all-time favorite books.
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Toole
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas (X+) – hurray for Dumas! I love his books. I really liked the Disney adaptation of this one, too – mostly for de Mornay as Lady de Winter :)
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare (X+) – this play is just way cool. And both the Gibson and Branaugh movies are worthy adaptations, for different reasons.
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl (X) – I’m not a real big fan of Dahl, but this one was pretty cool. And the Tim Burton movie version of a couple years was pretty much a perfect storm – Burton (weird), Dahl (weirder), and Depp (weirdest). I think Dahl would have approved.
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo (*)
1) Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.
2) Add a '+' to the ones you LOVE.
3) Star (*) those you plan on reading.
4) Tally your total and put it in the title.
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (X+) – awesome book, several wonderful movie versions (the 6 hour one, “Bride and Prejudice,” and the Keira Knightley one (yes, I can hear the purists scream, but hey, I love Knightley)).
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (X+) – the world’s introduction to epic fantasy, and still about the best there is out there.
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte (X+) – I saw the WonderWorks version (from the mid-80s, I think?) before reading the book, and I was struck by how Christian the book was compared to the movie.
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (X+) - #5 (Order of the Phoenix) is my favorite. I love books about good secret societies. Probably why I enjoy David Morrell’s books so much.
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee (X+) – I think this may be the only book I was assigned to read in public high school English that I actually like.
6 The Bible (X+)
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte (X) – I couldn’t read this one, but I listened to it while commuting. In my opinion, it deserves the title “classic,” but I still hated it.
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell (X) – yuck.
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman (partial – read the first one, but didn’t like it enough to continue)
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens (X) – I don’t generally like Dickens, and I didn’t like the ending to this one.
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott (X) – Laurie and Jo should have ended up together. That’s all I have to say.
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (many, but nowhere near all)
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier (X) – creepy. Wonderfully so.
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (X+) – I love this book. Look forward to reading it to my kids.
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger – never plan to read it.
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell (*)
22 The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald (*)
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy (started it about 4 times, never finished. Too many Russian names)
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams (X) – I think I may have read one or two more of his, but I just don’t like his humor.
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh (X+) – listened to this one recently, and LOVED it!
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky (*)
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck – I can’t stand Steinbeck. All of the Steinbeck books I have read, I wish I could wash out of my mind.
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (X) – I read this one a long, long time ago. I remember almost nothing about it.
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame (X) – I don’t remember much about the book, but one of the animated versions (I forget which) makes me laugh so hard I cry.
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy (*) – Joseph Acker recommended this one to me when I was in high school, and I’ve never yet gotten around to reading it.
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens (X)
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis (X+) – Every couple years, my favorite changes. Currently, it’s “The Last Battle.”
34 Emma - Jane Austen (X) – Lindsay and I had a race to see who could finish this book first. She won.
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen (*)
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (X+)
37 Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne (X)
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell (X+) – When I have taught world history to homeschoolers, I assign them to read this book when we study the 20th Century.
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown – never, not in a million years
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White – (*)
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery (X+) – and most of the sequels, too!
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding (X) – I read this book once. I’m glad I did, but that’s enough for me.
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert (X+) – I reread this book every couple years. Too bad none of the sequels were as good.
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen (X)
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens (X)
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley (*)
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck (X)
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas (X+) – I LOVE this book! The carefully planned-out revenge, the unforeseen consequences, the tragedy – it’s great.
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens (X)
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker (X+) – I listened to this book last year, and it’s fantastic.
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett (X) – this one is okay, but her “A Little Princess” is one of my top ten favorite books, and I also love “The Lost Prince.”
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray (X) – this one was okay. Becky was great.
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (X+) – as done by the Muppets, this one is a must-see every Christmas!
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White (X) – I’m not a huge fan of White’s books. “Stuart Little” is positively evil, because of the lacking ending. I’m still bitter about that one.
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (X+)
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (X+) – this is one of the only books that can make me cry every time I read it.
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks (X)
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams (X+) – this book is awesome. As Tim Murray described it, “This book has bravery, adventure, evil villains, and noble heroes. Who cares if the heroes are rabbits?” Adams also wrote “Shardik,” another of my all-time favorite books.
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Toole
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas (X+) – hurray for Dumas! I love his books. I really liked the Disney adaptation of this one, too – mostly for de Mornay as Lady de Winter :)
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare (X+) – this play is just way cool. And both the Gibson and Branaugh movies are worthy adaptations, for different reasons.
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl (X) – I’m not a real big fan of Dahl, but this one was pretty cool. And the Tim Burton movie version of a couple years was pretty much a perfect storm – Burton (weird), Dahl (weirder), and Depp (weirdest). I think Dahl would have approved.
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo (*)
Monday, February 16, 2009
Random Thoughts
1. So why haven't I done the "25 Random Things About Me" on in the blogworld and Facebook? Because if too many people like the same thing at the same time, I decide I don't like it.
2. Of course, I'm not the only person like this. If I meet too many people who refuse to go along with popular opinion like I do, I might have to stop being like that. On principle.
3. I like to read books about the advertising industry, despite having no experience or even interest in an actual advertising career.
4. "55 and Better" communities, which exclude anyone who isn't retired and affluent, especially anyone with those disruptive creatures called "children," do not celebrate true diversity.
5. This month I've had my two older nieces (Courtney and Katie) up for visits. We all have similarities that I like to think are in the bloodline and not just coincidences.
6. I also don't do "25" things because I don't like being required or restricted to a certain number. It feels like a list.
7. So you've heard of Reborns, right? My favorite quote: "One woman in the BBC documentary, married and in her 40s, said she wanted a real baby, but was too busy to commit to caring for a real one. A reborn doll satisfies her maternal instincts, she said, without all the carrying on and mess.
Reborns, she said, 'never grow out of their clothes, never soil them. It's just fabulous. The only difference, of course, is these guys don't move.'" Or that they're not actually people, so that you have none of the joy of watching a new person grow up before you. No, wait, the difference is that you're not actually being a mother. If that's what they think motherhood is -- dressing and playing with a happy baby -- then fake children fit very well into their fake worlds.
8. I'm obviously feeling snippy tonight. We all -- including Katie -- went to Mount Vernon today, and had a great time. But I missed my nap.
9. After many years and hundreds of listen-tos, I still love Ashokan Farewell.
2. Of course, I'm not the only person like this. If I meet too many people who refuse to go along with popular opinion like I do, I might have to stop being like that. On principle.
3. I like to read books about the advertising industry, despite having no experience or even interest in an actual advertising career.
4. "55 and Better" communities, which exclude anyone who isn't retired and affluent, especially anyone with those disruptive creatures called "children," do not celebrate true diversity.
5. This month I've had my two older nieces (Courtney and Katie) up for visits. We all have similarities that I like to think are in the bloodline and not just coincidences.
6. I also don't do "25" things because I don't like being required or restricted to a certain number. It feels like a list.
7. So you've heard of Reborns, right? My favorite quote: "One woman in the BBC documentary, married and in her 40s, said she wanted a real baby, but was too busy to commit to caring for a real one. A reborn doll satisfies her maternal instincts, she said, without all the carrying on and mess.
Reborns, she said, 'never grow out of their clothes, never soil them. It's just fabulous. The only difference, of course, is these guys don't move.'" Or that they're not actually people, so that you have none of the joy of watching a new person grow up before you. No, wait, the difference is that you're not actually being a mother. If that's what they think motherhood is -- dressing and playing with a happy baby -- then fake children fit very well into their fake worlds.
8. I'm obviously feeling snippy tonight. We all -- including Katie -- went to Mount Vernon today, and had a great time. But I missed my nap.
9. After many years and hundreds of listen-tos, I still love Ashokan Farewell.
Friday, February 13, 2009
A Rare Post from Darren
I've enjoyed reading Sara's posts (big surprise there, eh?) about church. As Kelly said, I've appreciated her willingness to "look a little un-put-together."
I don't share the dislike of church with Sara. My mom recently described my dad as loving church on “Sundays and Sunday nights and Bible studies and prayer meetings and choir practices and board meetings and deacons' meetings and music nights and praise & prayer services and whatever else is offered 8 nights a week.” That pretty much describes me too.
However, Sara is much more comfortable with the spontaneous working of the Holy Spirit than I am. Far more. I realized several months ago during a conversation with Sara that the images of the Spirit in Scripture – fire, water, wind – are images that I am uncomfortable because of their fluid power. My mom has said many times that she loves the Holy Spirit. I tend to try to avoid Him.
So here’s a short description of my feelings on the matter.
Hymn to the Holy Spirit
I fear Thee, O multi-splendoured Spirit,
For my aspect is Earth.
But Thou art Fire
and Water
and Wind.
All of which dance.
The licking flames, the rushing flood, and the mighty gale are infamously injurious to dirt’s dignity.
Yet dirt alone cannot live.
So breathe life in my hard clay.
Bathe me in Thine ocean’s swells.
Fire me in the kiln of Thy desire.
Above all, teach this clump of dirt to dance.
--DJ
I don't share the dislike of church with Sara. My mom recently described my dad as loving church on “Sundays and Sunday nights and Bible studies and prayer meetings and choir practices and board meetings and deacons' meetings and music nights and praise & prayer services and whatever else is offered 8 nights a week.” That pretty much describes me too.
However, Sara is much more comfortable with the spontaneous working of the Holy Spirit than I am. Far more. I realized several months ago during a conversation with Sara that the images of the Spirit in Scripture – fire, water, wind – are images that I am uncomfortable because of their fluid power. My mom has said many times that she loves the Holy Spirit. I tend to try to avoid Him.
So here’s a short description of my feelings on the matter.
Hymn to the Holy Spirit
I fear Thee, O multi-splendoured Spirit,
For my aspect is Earth.
But Thou art Fire
and Water
and Wind.
All of which dance.
The licking flames, the rushing flood, and the mighty gale are infamously injurious to dirt’s dignity.
Yet dirt alone cannot live.
So breathe life in my hard clay.
Bathe me in Thine ocean’s swells.
Fire me in the kiln of Thy desire.
Above all, teach this clump of dirt to dance.
--DJ
Thursday, February 12, 2009
At Sixes and Sevens
I substituted for an absent mom at co-op today. When Addie's class walked in, she saw me and exclaimed, "Mama! You're in here!" and beamed. When Stuart's class walked in, his face brightened and he said, "Are YOU the teacher today? My mama is the teacher today." I love these ages, six and seven, where they still think it's the coolest thing in the world that everybody else notices I'm their mother.
-- SJ
-- SJ
Monday, February 09, 2009
Mundania 20
Regarding Facebook. It's a great way to keep in casual touch with people. But isn't it also like standing with arms wide open saying, "Please hit me with email forwards on a regular basis!"
**
My friend Leah recently came across the names Anchor and Indigo. Even more disturbing, Anchor is female and Indigo is male.
**
Puddles the Cat likes to play with all of us, but she'll actually run after Daphne, which is funny all around.
**
Why is Hans Christian Andersen celebrated as a great children's writer? All his stories end miserably. I remember being very disturbed by "The Snow Queen" and "The Little Mermaid."
**
I'm re-reading some Dick Francis books. I like his writing, his stories, and his characters, even though once you've read two of them you've generally read all of them. All the books contain an obligatory love interest, and some contain an obligatory sex scene. It's pretty amazing the insight that some of these characters come up with: after a one-night tumble with a virtual stranger, the protagonist described the woman as being a "selfish, generous, passionate, passive, devouring, laughing lover by turns." Good heavens, that was some tumble. In another book, the hero says that he's going "on a sort of a honeymoon" with the woman he met a week earlier and still knew only casually except for the highly communicative glances that people in books always manage to exchange. Indignantly, I thought, "You aren't going on a honeymoon. You haven't done a blasted thing to earn a honeymoon." Darren earned HIS honeymoon. Still is, for that matter.
If you want to give Francis a try, look for his earlier books. He began writing in the late sixties, and his books are generally good all the way up to the early 90s. Newer than that are washouts. My favorite is "Hot Money." Mom's favorite is "Nerve." Darren's favorite is "To the Hilt."
**
I showed Fantasia 2000 to the kids -- narrating all the while, pretty much heaven for a homeschool mom. Glad to report that they love it like Darren and I do.
**
Our pastor's wife reported that when she asks the kids to pray in Children's Chapel, Daphne always says a beautiful prayer. Unfortunately, nobody can ever figure out what she's saying.
-- SJ
**
My friend Leah recently came across the names Anchor and Indigo. Even more disturbing, Anchor is female and Indigo is male.
**
Puddles the Cat likes to play with all of us, but she'll actually run after Daphne, which is funny all around.
**
Why is Hans Christian Andersen celebrated as a great children's writer? All his stories end miserably. I remember being very disturbed by "The Snow Queen" and "The Little Mermaid."
**
I'm re-reading some Dick Francis books. I like his writing, his stories, and his characters, even though once you've read two of them you've generally read all of them. All the books contain an obligatory love interest, and some contain an obligatory sex scene. It's pretty amazing the insight that some of these characters come up with: after a one-night tumble with a virtual stranger, the protagonist described the woman as being a "selfish, generous, passionate, passive, devouring, laughing lover by turns." Good heavens, that was some tumble. In another book, the hero says that he's going "on a sort of a honeymoon" with the woman he met a week earlier and still knew only casually except for the highly communicative glances that people in books always manage to exchange. Indignantly, I thought, "You aren't going on a honeymoon. You haven't done a blasted thing to earn a honeymoon." Darren earned HIS honeymoon. Still is, for that matter.
If you want to give Francis a try, look for his earlier books. He began writing in the late sixties, and his books are generally good all the way up to the early 90s. Newer than that are washouts. My favorite is "Hot Money." Mom's favorite is "Nerve." Darren's favorite is "To the Hilt."
**
I showed Fantasia 2000 to the kids -- narrating all the while, pretty much heaven for a homeschool mom. Glad to report that they love it like Darren and I do.
**
Our pastor's wife reported that when she asks the kids to pray in Children's Chapel, Daphne always says a beautiful prayer. Unfortunately, nobody can ever figure out what she's saying.
-- SJ
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Games With My Name, Part the Second
WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(father's and mother's middle names)
Allen Marie
YOUR MARRIED NAME: (first 3 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of your spouse's first name)
DarSar
YOUR SECRET SPY NAME: (your first name backwards)
Nerrad (My cousin Jeff actually used to call me this)
STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Jonda
DETECTIVE NAME:(favourite color, favourite animal)
Blue capybara
SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, last four letters of where you were born)
August Erst (or August Otia)
SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Purple Barq
FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Daes
STREET NAME:(fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Peanut Butter Cup Chocolate Chip Oatmeal (by the time you finish calling me out, I'll plug you between the eyes)
ROCK STAR NAME: (1st pet's name, street you grew up on)
Jesse Chestnut Hill
YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of last name plus izzle)
Jonizzle
YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Ticket
YOUR NEXT CHILD'S NAME: (name of your fav beer, fav candy)
Apparently I'm not allowed to have another child, because I don't have a favorite beer. Or a least favorite. Or any opinion on beer whatsoever, except that it's all nasty. So how about "Blank Ritter Coco."
--DJ
Allen Marie
YOUR MARRIED NAME: (first 3 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of your spouse's first name)
DarSar
YOUR SECRET SPY NAME: (your first name backwards)
Nerrad (My cousin Jeff actually used to call me this)
STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Jonda
DETECTIVE NAME:(favourite color, favourite animal)
Blue capybara
SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, last four letters of where you were born)
August Erst (or August Otia)
SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Purple Barq
FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Daes
STREET NAME:(fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Peanut Butter Cup Chocolate Chip Oatmeal (by the time you finish calling me out, I'll plug you between the eyes)
ROCK STAR NAME: (1st pet's name, street you grew up on)
Jesse Chestnut Hill
YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of last name plus izzle)
Jonizzle
YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Ticket
YOUR NEXT CHILD'S NAME: (name of your fav beer, fav candy)
Apparently I'm not allowed to have another child, because I don't have a favorite beer. Or a least favorite. Or any opinion on beer whatsoever, except that it's all nasty. So how about "Blank Ritter Coco."
--DJ
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Games With My Name
I lifted this from C.'s blog. On a morning when I need to get rousting kids out of bed and getting everyone ready to head out for co-op, something like this is a refreshing distraction.
WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and fathers middle names)
Evelyn Harold
YOUR MARRIED NAME: (first 3 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of your spouse's first name)
SarDar (note: I changed the number of letters required; it asked for the first 4 letters of my name, and that's all I got! Because no H, remember.)
YOUR SECRET SPY NAME: (your first name backwards)
Aras
STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Jonsa
DETECTIVE NAME:(favourite color, favourite animal)
Pink Cat
SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, last four letters of where you were born)
Lynn Dale
SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Purple Zazz (Zazz being the off-brand fizzy water that I drink by the can because the kids hate it and I don't have to share.)
FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Sane (um. Less cool.) >Note: (Thanks, Kelly) It actually should be Saes, which is just weird.<
STREET NAME:(fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Mint Oatmeal (I'm bad!)
ROCK STAR NAME: (1st pet's name, street you grew up on)
Blackie... okay, I didn't grow UP on a street with a name, you middle-class suburban Northern quiz!
YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of last name plus izzle)
Jonizzle
YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Puddles (I'm getting badder and badder!)
YOUR NEXT CHILD'S NAME: (name of your fav beer, fav candy)
This one is simply non-applicable, because I am not naming a child Root Beer Heath.
WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and fathers middle names)
Evelyn Harold
YOUR MARRIED NAME: (first 3 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of your spouse's first name)
SarDar (note: I changed the number of letters required; it asked for the first 4 letters of my name, and that's all I got! Because no H, remember.)
YOUR SECRET SPY NAME: (your first name backwards)
Aras
STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Jonsa
DETECTIVE NAME:(favourite color, favourite animal)
Pink Cat
SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, last four letters of where you were born)
Lynn Dale
SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Purple Zazz (Zazz being the off-brand fizzy water that I drink by the can because the kids hate it and I don't have to share.)
FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Sane (um. Less cool.) >Note: (Thanks, Kelly) It actually should be Saes, which is just weird.<
STREET NAME:(fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Mint Oatmeal (I'm bad!)
ROCK STAR NAME: (1st pet's name, street you grew up on)
Blackie... okay, I didn't grow UP on a street with a name, you middle-class suburban Northern quiz!
YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of last name plus izzle)
Jonizzle
YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Puddles (I'm getting badder and badder!)
YOUR NEXT CHILD'S NAME: (name of your fav beer, fav candy)
This one is simply non-applicable, because I am not naming a child Root Beer Heath.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Kid Quotes
Daphne
She found two toys she hadn't seen in a while. Charmed, she announced, "I found a bunny and a duck!"
"Oh, good. Are they friends?"
"No. They are not friends. They are animals."
(With friends like these, who needs animals?)
***
Stuart
Darren is helping build up church enthusiasm. He asked on Sunday, "What was your favorite song we sang in church, Stuart?"
Pause. "Shout to the Lord."
"Oh, yes, that's a favorite of mine, too."
"Yeah, I like it because part of it sounds like the music on Snowy Treasure Hunter 3."
***
Addie
My niece, Courtney, and her boyfriend, Ryan, came up last weekend to visit. Courtney tried to write down the notable things that Addie said, but just lost track. She did record the following comment, which Addie brought forth one morning while she and Courtney were cutting out paper dolls:
"It seems strange, in these quiet hours, to hear the snip snip and rattle rattle of paper as a doll comes to form."
-- SJ
She found two toys she hadn't seen in a while. Charmed, she announced, "I found a bunny and a duck!"
"Oh, good. Are they friends?"
"No. They are not friends. They are animals."
(With friends like these, who needs animals?)
***
Stuart
Darren is helping build up church enthusiasm. He asked on Sunday, "What was your favorite song we sang in church, Stuart?"
Pause. "Shout to the Lord."
"Oh, yes, that's a favorite of mine, too."
"Yeah, I like it because part of it sounds like the music on Snowy Treasure Hunter 3."
***
Addie
My niece, Courtney, and her boyfriend, Ryan, came up last weekend to visit. Courtney tried to write down the notable things that Addie said, but just lost track. She did record the following comment, which Addie brought forth one morning while she and Courtney were cutting out paper dolls:
"It seems strange, in these quiet hours, to hear the snip snip and rattle rattle of paper as a doll comes to form."
-- SJ
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
I Surprise Myself
It's culturally acceptable, especially in Christian subculture, to talk about the things you do that drive you crazy. The way you never can find your keys; the way you always spend a little extra time in bed in the morning; the way you realize that you don't like that certain person because her name bothers you. (Possibly this one isn't a universal problem.) It's always Godly and edifying to others to talk about ways you need to improve, after all.
Trouble is, you begin to identify yourself by your failings. (I use "you" in the generic sense, meaning, "Otherwise I'd have to admit I'm talking about myself.")The little flaws are always there, and obscure the fact that some things do change for the better.
The following list looks like a brag. That's not why I'm doing it. It's a reminder that for all the things I still haven't gotten the best of, there are other areas where I've learned to operate very smoothly. Therefore, here are some things that surprise me about myself in a good way:
1. I don't shout at the kids as much as I used to.
2. Nearly every morning, I've cleaned my kitchen, done a few chores, cooked breakfast for the kids, and am sitting down to do school with them by 10:00. Not bad when I get up at 7:45.
3. Although I hate lists and schedules, I run the household on a predictable routine.
4. I usually serve a hot supper, different from the one the night before, within fifteen minutes after Darren gets home.
5. I procrastinate like the world will never end, and still managed to meet three deadlines ahead of time -- even one that was advanced a few weeks unexpectedly.
6. I can't add actual numbers in my head, but I'm dead-on at estimating.
7. When I hear my daughter waking up finally, I don't linger at a blog post, but go immediately to her room to greet her and get her up. Yes. That's what I'm doing here. Not lingering. Certainly not grasping the last few shreds of Personal Space before liberating the toddler. Nope.
What are some things you'd put on your own "surprised myself" list?
-- SJ
Trouble is, you begin to identify yourself by your failings. (I use "you" in the generic sense, meaning, "Otherwise I'd have to admit I'm talking about myself.")The little flaws are always there, and obscure the fact that some things do change for the better.
The following list looks like a brag. That's not why I'm doing it. It's a reminder that for all the things I still haven't gotten the best of, there are other areas where I've learned to operate very smoothly. Therefore, here are some things that surprise me about myself in a good way:
1. I don't shout at the kids as much as I used to.
2. Nearly every morning, I've cleaned my kitchen, done a few chores, cooked breakfast for the kids, and am sitting down to do school with them by 10:00. Not bad when I get up at 7:45.
3. Although I hate lists and schedules, I run the household on a predictable routine.
4. I usually serve a hot supper, different from the one the night before, within fifteen minutes after Darren gets home.
5. I procrastinate like the world will never end, and still managed to meet three deadlines ahead of time -- even one that was advanced a few weeks unexpectedly.
6. I can't add actual numbers in my head, but I'm dead-on at estimating.
7. When I hear my daughter waking up finally, I don't linger at a blog post, but go immediately to her room to greet her and get her up. Yes. That's what I'm doing here. Not lingering. Certainly not grasping the last few shreds of Personal Space before liberating the toddler. Nope.
What are some things you'd put on your own "surprised myself" list?
-- SJ
Monday, February 02, 2009
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