The End

Well, it was a good run. But Blogger is clunky, won't post photos correctly, won't let my mom post comments, and today it pushed me too far when it wouldn't let me TYPE A NEW POST.

It's a little sad. I've been here for eight and a half years, with Darren popping in occasionally too. But I've been thinking of shutting down for a while. Now I have an excuse to get mad at Blogger, break up, and announce that we are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.

I'll find another source for my postings, I'm sure. The drive to write daily updates is like water: block it off one way, and it'll seep through somewhere else. But I'm closing down Keeping Up.

Thanks to all of you who made this blog a place of friendship and fun for so long. You got me through the early toddler and little kid years, and for that my family thanks you.

-- SJ

I'm Not That Kind of Girl

I was talking with a young teen recently about her deep, passionate love for all five of the members of the boy band One Direction. She was making up a story, she said, based on one of the boys. Apparently he is in love with another famous singer, but he dies, and she has to carry on. She forces herself to perform despite her pain, and one night at a concert, she sees his ghost.

Teen girls throughout the ages swoon.

It got me thinking. I never went in for celebrity crushes, but I certainly had a sizable roster of imaginary boyfriends, mostly from the stories I wrote. They were all good-looking, considerate, and witty. Oh, and alive.

Love stories that involve death simply don't thrill me. I don't listen to sad songs, I don't read sad stories. When a friend told me that she thought it was tragic and romantic to fling herself off a cliff into the ocean for the sake of lost love, I laughed.When I read about a girl caught in a love triangle between an undead vampire and a virile werewolf, I thought, "Honey, go for the warm body!" When it comes to tragic love, I'm all Elinor Dashwood, not Marianne.

I don't mean to say I didn't have laughable ideas about romance. I was into the idea of understated romantic tension. Lifelong love and passion? Absolutely! But I preferred my heroes to declare themselves with a grin and an offhand comment rather than an impassioned monologue in a rainstorm. I took the idea to the point that, at about age nineteen, I thought it would be the essence of understated passion for me to exchange vows with a man who would then kiss my hand. Four years later, when my father-in-law pronounced us man and wife, Darren had already informed me that he was not settling for my fingers.

All this to say... I'm not really sure what. Just that romances that involve death or ghosts don't make me puddle up into beautiful, satisfied tears. If he's going to kiss her hand, she had darn well better be able to feel it.

-- SJ

Annual Reveiw for S M Jones

Name: Stuart

Hair:  Blond, preferably in a mohawk style
Eyes: Gray, with a touch of green; they look absolutely radiant with olive green
 
Interests:
Books

Computer

Games

Computer Games

That pretty much sums it up.
 
Notes:Very creative, to the point that he can create an entire D&D scenario with backstory, characters, and a choreographed battle without using a guide. Is a loyal and enthusiastic Cub Scout, although has managed to skip every hike so far. Admires his older sister's writing, is nice(r) to his younger sister, and thinks his little brother is very cute except when said brother erases all his progress on a PlayStation game.

Recommendation: Outgrew current age level long ago. Upgrade recommended.

Happy birthday, Stuart! You keep things lively and geeky!

We love you -- SJ, DJ, AMJ, DMJ, PGJ

Screenshot by Stuart

Choose One

1. Aliens kidnapped me.

2. I'm secretly a superhero, and crime has been soaring in my neighborhood for the past several months.

3. I've been too busy growing my own wheat and milking my own cow so my children can have naturally-sourced, organic toast and butter every morning.

4. Sewing your own bedsheets, curtains, and bath towels takes time and energy.

5. Just taking a little break from here to teach my kids advanced chemical diagramming!

6. I've been writing a novel and have no interest in doing anything else, including breathing.


One of these statements is true, and that's why the blog has been neglected for so long. However, those dear and close to me are lovingly compelling me to return to the world where everybody else lives. Unforutnately, this will mean a lot of re-runs on the blog: I plan to go through Facebook and pull out a lot of my bloggy status updates and add them here for archiving purposes. But that's better than a dead blog, right? Right.

So. *blink blink* This is what y'all's world looks like, huh? I vaguely remember it. Sure is good to be back! As soon as I finish harvesting this wheat/sewing this seam/defending the innocent/writing this dialogue.

-- SJ

Birthday Interview

On this most glorious day the eleventh of October twenty-twelve, when the most glorious Darren Jones enjoys a birthday, we've stopped a few ordinary kids on the street... living room, rather... and asked their opinion of this most glorious daddy of theirs.

Why do you love Daddy?
A: Because he's my daddy and he's nice.
S: He likes to do things with me, he plays computer often.
D: He's a very good daddy.
P: Yes

What is something Daddy does that you like?
 A: He plays D&D and lets me read Harry Potter.
S: Plays D&D with us.
D: He lets me play one of my favorite games on his smartphone.
P: Reads to me

What is something that makes Daddy happy?
A: Having healthy, obedient kids.
S: A good book from one of his favorite authors.
D: Having us kids.
P: Monster trucks

What would Daddy most like for his birthday?
 A: A crucifix made of sapphires.
S: He'd probably like a new Civilizations computer game. Or some more books.
D: I think he'd really love another really nice carrot cake.
P: Spice

An ordinary wife married to Darren Jones... no, wait, that's an oxymoron, because only a very special woman would be the person who got to be married to Darren Jones... also agreed to be interviewed.

Why do you love Darren?
SJ: His blue eyes, his beard, his kindness, his kisses, and the fantastic stir-fry he makes nearly every weekend. For starters. Want me to go on?

What does Darren do that you like?
SJ: Not everything, of course. I actually could make a list of things I don't like. It would be a lot shorter than the list of things I do like. Let's do this. Let's answer this question with: Everything, except a few things not worth mentioning.

What is something that makes Darren happy?
Spreadsheets.


What would Darren really like for his birthday?
A trip to England. Failing that, a good book and a cuddly wife.


Happy birthday, oh most glorious Darren! We love you!

-- SJ, AMJ, SMJ, DMJ, PGJ

Romance by the Dozen

I've been keeping up on this blog since 2004, which means I've written a special post for our anniversary for the past eight years. This year The Day -- yesterday -- went by without my posting anything. I wondered, what more is there to say? We met, we fell in love, we got married, we have kids, we're still madly in love...

Tonight, however, I had a captive audience: I was driving our babysitter Vanessa home. And I spent nearly the entire trip telling her about the sweet romantic events of my and Darren's courtship. Then I thought, Hey! Not all our friends have heard all these! I mean, I've posted our entire courtship story before, but these are like bonus tracks. Deleted scenes. Special director's cut.

So here you go. This year's Special Anniversary Post. In honor of our 12th year, I'm going to try for a dozen stories. If it seems like a bit much, Vanessa probably can offer sympathy and counseling.

1. Darren first thought of me as wife material the day that I walked into his office, slapped a trivia card on his desk, announced, "Thought you'd like this," and walked back out. The card had all the answers on the back whited-out. (My sister had sent it to me. Logically, he ought to have thought of her as wife material, not me, but I was the lucky one.)

2. I first thought of Darren as husband material when I found out that he'd read Pride and Prejudice and had seen the A&E adaptation of it. Six hours of Jane Austen. You don't take that lightly.

3. I didn't want Darren to be interested in me. I certainly wasn't interested in him. But after I left Virginia and moved home to Mississippi, I couldn't escape reminders of him. The postman who delivered mail at the newspaper office where I worked sounded like Darren. Somebody else drove a battered silver hatchback like Darren. I kept coming across references to Canadians, and finding bits of information and trivia that I knew he'd like. I found that I knew a lot about him, and he kept coming up in my conversation. It was all extremely annoying.

4. He sent me a book for Christmas the year we met. I was not happy. I wrote back and thanked him, then added that if he sent along any "intentions" with the gift, then I was going to send it back. He assured me that there were "no intentions expressed or implied." He'd seen it and thought I'd like it. (I didn't send it back.)

5. It certainly wasn't as if he'd made a special trip to a bookstore forty minutes away to buy the book for me.

6. I'll assume that my forthrightness was part of my charm. I know my dimples were.

7. Darren ran the HSLDA table at two Mississippi homeschool conferences. "Oh!" I wrote him. "What a nice coincidence. I'll stop by your table." What I found out later was that both years, Darren cornered the conference coordinator at the office and told her, "I want the Mississippi conference."

8. My mom met Darren at one of these conferences. They shook hands and made small talk for a few minutes. She marked him down as "one to watch" after that. I asked her later, "Why did you even suspect him? Y'all didn't talk about anything important." She replied, "He was nervous meeting me."

9. He prayed for me every night for two years. He prayed that if I was the one God intended for him to marry, that He would keep other guys away from me until Darren could make a move.

10. I was extremely frustrated during those two years that no one, not even scoundrels and cads, expressed any romantic interest in me.

11. During a long, meandering conversation about romance and marriage and husbands, I said to my friend Dana, "Isn't it strange to think that there's this one person is going to be the most important person in my life, and I haven't even met him yet!" And a name floated to the top of my mind. I was puzzled. Why was he stuck in my head like that?

12. Skipping ahead, Darren proposed to me on my front porch in Mississippi on June 2. He originally intended to propose to me in Harper's Ferry, West Virginia a month later. In a cemetery. There's a story behind this, of course.

A year previously, I'd gone back to Virginia to visit my friends Leah and Rose. We were taking a trip to Harper's Ferry and invited any friends to join us. Darren took us up on it -- what a good friend! (Said I. I spent a long time during this trip explaining to Leah and Rose why Darren and I were very good friends but certainly nothing more than that, despite any appearances to the contrary. Like coming on a day trip with us.) At Harper's Ferry, we all walked up to the cemetery. This is the part of the story where Sara comes out and acts like an idiot.

My maiden name is Roberts. A good name, granted, but not exciting. I figured I had one shot at improving my signature, and that was marriage. So I was always picking out last names I liked. This afternoon in Harper's Ferry, in the cemetery, I announced that I was in the market for an interesting last name, and proceeded to find some for myself off the tombstones.

Darren helped me. He found several promising candidates.

Four months later when he wrote to ask to court me, I remembered that afternoon. And just about died of embarrassment. He confessed that he thought it was funny. He enjoyed picking out names for me, even though he had a very definite opinion as to what a suitable new name for me would be.

This, by the way, is where the audience realizes the name I married into, and laughs at me.

That's a dozen stories about the sweet romance that became our marriage. I'd write more, but why write when I could be snuggling with Darren Jones? (Myself of thirteen years ago say, "Whoa, what? No, we're just good friends! No snuggling!" But deep down, I think she really wouldn't have minded too much.)

Happy 12th anniversary, my wonderful love!

-- SJ

Annual Review for D M Jones

Name: Daphne (known as Daph or Daffodil)

Hair: Short, blondish-brown, adorable

Eyes: Sparkly light blue, like her Aunt Lindsay
 

Interests: 
Playing: A magical unicorn named Horn Attack, a ninja, a kitty, or a puppy named Morning Daisy (companion to Pip's puppy named Patches-Spot).

Conversing: She's got a lot to say on every subject, and prefers an active, engaged audience. None of this passive, "Hm, that's nice, dear."

Reading - like any typical young girl, she devours science books

Visiting: The more friends, the better. The longer, the better. The more activity, the better. When bedtime comes and she's alone in her room, she's bored.

Taylor Swift: She's up for a visit and a conversation about her favorite Taylor Swift songs.


Busyness: This fall, she's starting piano, 4H, a one-day enrichment class, AWANA, and school. The prospect delights her.
 
Notes: Is ready to be a friend to everyone, with the possible exception of her older brother. Thinks that Taylor Swift has a knack for choosing really bad boyfriends, based on all the songs she writes about broken hearts. Talks a lot. Reads a lot.

Recommendation: Way too much personality to stay at current age level. Immediate upgrade recommended.

Happy sixth birthday to Daphne! We love you!

(I'm going to try to upload this picture again later, giving Blogger a second chance)

-- DJ, SJ, AMJ, SMJ, PGJ

Getaway and Zip (with Pictures)

Ziplining is fun.

Climbing up ladders and waiting for your turn to go is less fun, but a couple of personable guides and great views of the Shenandoah River help pass the time. Also, pretending to be in an Ewok tree village.

You're always tethered to something, so you're not going to fall. There's nothing to worry about. So when you're standing on a 4x4-foot platform looking down at the tops of the trees, and there's no way off except by a cable that ends somewhere out of sight, there's absolutely nothing to worry about. Who was worried?

Deidre and I went with River Riders in Harper's Ferry. It was definitely more fun going with a friend. The guides went over safety rules with us, then asked which of our group of seven would sign the form attesting that, yes, we'd heard the safety rules. I signed it, at which point they announced, "Congratulations! By signing this form, you've also adopted our newest guide!" As another explained, "River Riders has a deal with the local orphanage. Every time you pay for a Canopy Tour package, you get a new child!" But I left him there after all. He told very bad West Virginia jokes.

The rest of my weekend was all mine, and all good. On Sunday, I spent eight hours writing. And let me tell you, two hours stuck in the house with fractious kids lasts a whole lot longer than eight hours spent in wordcraft. The only break I took from writing was when I drove Addi to 4H camp, and that didn't take a whole lot out of my day because she dismissed me as soon as she was settled on her top bunk.

I can't say I was rarin' to get back home, but this morning I did play tea party with Daphne and read an Encyclopedia Brown story aloud to Stuart. So I must have recharged a little. And maybe I was feeling a lack of Darren.

But I figure I could stand a few more weekends like this in my life.

(The following pictures are all blurry because the guide's camera was on the wrong setting. On the upside, we got them free.)

Deidre (the grin wearing the Battlestar Gallactica shirt on the far left) and I (wearing the green shirt) pose with our group before setting out.

I hated the helmet. My hair afterward was beyond Medusa Hair. Deige's looked just fine, not that I noticed.

This is the point where I felt Darren freaking out in spirit. But I was absolutely fine. P.S. Dear Deidre, good call not to jump up and down on the bridge. Our friendship would have ended twenty feet in the air.

Here we are, with Maryland, West Virginia, and Virginia in view behind us.

Yes, Doofenshmirtz fans, that's right: It was THE TRI-STATE AREA!

Deige goes flying.

See the trees, how high up we are? See how the picture is taken from a HIGHER spot? Yes, we're one level down from where we actually zipped. 

The actual moments that you're flying down the cable are pure heaven. It goes by so fast, though. It really made me wish I could do that scene in the novel Divergent, where they zipline off what used to be Chicago's Sears Tower. Maybe my next weekend alone.

-- SJ

Pictures of Me

I recently got some new clothes, and recently lost some old weight, and today decided to put the two together into a blog post. How often are there pictures of just me on my own blog? Well, I didn't manage it this time, either, since I included a picture of Daphne at the end. That's not something I regret, though. Anyway, on to pictures of (mostly) me.

New jacket, new shirt, new van behind me. The tree we've had for a while.

It's fun to feel like you look cool.

The jacket and shirt are still new! So is the pose!

And to break up the monotony, here's Daphne in one of the new dresses from Grandpa and Nana. Must be nice to be this effortlessly cute.

Escape!

Darren, being a husband far above rubies and liberally decorated with gold stars, has helped me arrange a weekend getaway for myself in August.

(By "helped me arrange," I mean "agreed to keep the kids." The rest is pleasant work on my part.)

I've got a pretty full schedule for that weekend. There's so much I want to get to, that I simply can't do on a daily basis. So far, the lineup looks like this:

1. Write
2. Sleep late
3. Not worry about anybody's meals except my own
4. Write
5. Not clean anything up
6. Not listen to any conversations I don't want to hear
7. Write
8. Sit beside the river and look at the clouds
9. Sit beside the river in the moonlight
10. Write
11. Go ziplining with Deidre
12. Finish a story

Yeah, obviously I'm striking out into new horizons here... finishing a story! Seriously!

Oh, right, and that ziplining thing. I read about it in the airplane magazine last month when flying down to Mississippi, and thought it sounded fun. I've always wanted to fly. When we drove past this place recently, I exclaimed to Darren, "Look! A zipline! Wouldn't that be the coolest thing?"

Profound silence from his side of the van. His sense of adventure was being strangled by his intense dislike of heights. Okay, fine. I called Deidre instead.

I will, of course, blog about the experience. I mean, if I can fit it into my schedule.

-- SJ

Excerpt from an Owner's Manual

Congratulations on your new purchase! At Intelligent Design Studios ™*,  our goal is to create the very best in life products.

Your Female Human Body has been designed and tested over many years to reach optimum performance. The following information will assist you in maintaining and enjoying your Body.

The FHB is uniquely suited to long-term survival. Its compact size compared to the Male Human Body model means it requires less food and resources to function. Historically, this single feature has ensured more consistent longevity.

In addition, the FHB features an automatic Resources Conservation Mode. This mode kicks in anytime the FHB loses mass or has access to less food. When in conservation mode, the Body retains water and energy resources to prevent starvation and death. (Note: this is sometimes the default mode: see Reproduction.)

Reproduction: The most outstanding feature of the FHB, as compared to the MHB, is its ability to build, produce, and maintain Baby Human Bodies of both types. During the Reproduction phase, the FHB requires special resources and maintenance.  The FHB also functions in Resources Conservation Mode until BHB can produce its own resources for survival.

Troubleshooting:  The FHB has been known to resist switching out of the Resource Conservation Mode, even when the owner has no need for the extra resources being stored. It is possible to send the Body back to the lab for surgical restructuring, but many owners find the cost prohibitive. For a more budget-friendly solution, we recommend eating less and exercising more.  That works, assuming anything does.

The MHB does not have a problem switching out of Resource Conservation Mode. Owners of the FHB may find this difference in design frustrating. We at Intelligent Design Studios ™ understand and are working on it. Meanwhile, rest secure in the knowledge that if there is an apocalypse, the FHB is the one you want to have on hand.

Thank you for choosing IDS™

*IDS is known variously as “God,” “the gods,” “Evolution” “Nature,” “the Universe,” and, rarely, “The Force.” The names are not, however, considered interchangeable.**

** The author is making no statement about her beliefs regarding the origin of life. She is just trying to be funny.

The Sorting Hat

Addi just turned 11. What she really wanted was an acceptance letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, asking her to report to Platform 9 3/4 at the end of summer to go to school. Next best to that, though, was a Harry Potter party.

(Planning any kind of event absolutely paralyzes me. My kids are lucky that I'm friends with Deidre, who makes most of our parties happen.)

We just got a new camera, which means I have pictures of the wand-decorating, the cake and butterbeer, and yes, the Quidditch game. But first, I figured you'd want to know which of the four Hogwarts Houses you'd be sorted into, right?

(Also lucky for me, Deidre took many Teen Magazine quizzes in her youth, so this arrived through email last weekend.)

As a bonus, there are some extra acceptance letters to each House. (Lucky for me, Deidre...) So if you post your result in the comments, I'll send you your letter. But not by owl.

The Sorting Hat Quiz

Welcome to Hogwarts!  You will now be sorted into your houses.  The Sorting is a very important ceremony because while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts.  You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory and spend free time in your common room.

The four houses are called Gryfiindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin.  Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn you house points, while any rule-breaking will lose house points.  At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor.  I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours.

Please choose the answer that best applies to you.
1. You’re in the dungeon for a test in your potions course.  You notice that one of the students is cheating by looking over your work.

A. You bravely lean over and tell him to stop cheating.

B.  It is one of your fellow housemates after all.  You wait till the end of class and tell him you saw what he did and give him a chance to change.

C.  You cast a spell that puts him in a bubble that everyone can see into but He can’t see out of so the cheating ceases. 

D.  You don’t want the teacher to think you’re helping him cheat.  You write a note exposing the cheater and fly it to your teacher’s desk.



2.  It’s Quidditch season again!  To tryout or not to tryout, that is the the question.

A.  You go for it!  No plans or hesitation, just full steam ahead!

B.  You ask some of the veteran quidditch players to help you train everyday till the tryouts.

C.  The more you think about it, you’d rather invent your own wizarding game and get it approved by the school.

D.  You shrewdly plan to be practicing your impressive quidditch skills the afternoons that you know the coaches will be around the field.  You know if they see your moves and dedication you’ll guarantee your spot.


3.  Professor Sprout gives you a herbology assignment and says that you can pick anyone you want for your partner.

A.  You ask the kid next to you who you’ve seen struggling in the class.

B.  You wait till the end and approach the one girl that no one chose.

C.  You create a chart with pluses and minuses of your top three choices to help you decide.

D.  You offer the best student in the class a chocolate frog and as he’s eating it, you suggest you two partner up.



4.  A wealthy relative has sent you some wizard gold for your birthday.

A.  You buy some robes for your poor friend who has to wear hand-me-downs and spend the rest on a feast of good foods for the two of you.

B.  You hire a tutor to help you in the classes you’ve not been doing so well in. 

C.  You spend some now and save the rest in your account at Gringots.

D.  You donate some to The Society For The Preservation of True Bloods and the rest on a new cauldron. 



5.  Because of a special trust issued to Hogwarts, each member on your quidditch team gets to pick out a brand new broom stick. 

A.  You’re not afraid of a new challenge.  So you pick the fastest model available.

B.  You suggest that everyone chose the same model so the games will be fair.

C.  You choose the base model and tweak it a bit to make it perfect for you.

D.  You research the models available before choosing, so you can be sure you’ll win your next match.



6.  There is a new movement to liberate the house elves.

A.  Join forces!

B.  Organize a counter organization.  Your loyalties lie with the wizards.

C.  You create your own secret movement to help the house elves.

D.  You use your personal house elf to keep you informed of what the organization is doing.


Add up all the A, B, C and D answers.  Whichever you have the most of is your new house!

A.  Gryffindor
B.   Hufflepuff
C.  Ravenclaw
D.  Slytherin

Birthday Girl pictures

Addi with her McLeod tam, direct from Scotland.

Addi with her freshly-pierced ear and sparkly earring.

Addi with her mama, an essential element in her original birthday.

Kid Bits

We usually split our family into two sections: the Bigs and the Littles. At the rate they're all growing, we'll soon have the Bigs and the Also Bigs.

**
Shortly after Phillip's birthday, I asked him, "How old are you?" He replied, "Twenty-two." And that's what he replies to any kind inquiries of his age now.

But if family asks how old he is, now he just blows a raspberry.

**
I was reciting everyone's full name to Pip. When I got to Darren's, Daphne chimed in: "Daddy's middle name is my birth month!" Phillip was eager to be funny too, and burst out: "Daddy Jones Month!"

**
Darren and I were catching up when he got home from work. It's an activity that never fails to attract kids, who notice that both Conversation and Affection are being generated and shouldn't they have a share in that? So we were talking over the day, and heard Daphne behind us: "Um, hey Mama and Daddy?"

Sigh. "Yes, Daphne?"

"Ummm.... I just wanted to tell you about how superliquids are different from regular liquids. Because in a superliquid, all the atoms flow in the same direction. In a regular liquid, they flow in any direction."

We thanked her for the knowledge (completely new knowledge, in my case). The child reads science books, yes.

**
 Addi got her ears pierced for her birthday. She chose the biggest, sparkliest studs available. It required a consent waiver that I had to sign in four different places. I had no idea that ear-piercing was such a risky undertaking.

**
Stuart had spent a while reading some of the back copies of the blog (I got bound copies of nearly every year). He remarked to me later, "I think you and Daddy have done a great job of raising me." Aww, sweet boy, we'll just settle for not giving you therapy material later in life.

-- SJ

Annual Review for AM Jones

Annual Review and Report
7/6/12

Name: Adelaide, known as Addi (or, occasionally, Addi-bug)

Hair: Short, thick, and lustrous brown

Eyes: Creek-colored, like a good many of her other McLeod-stock relatives.

Interests:
Reading - six Nancy Drew books last week

Cooking - makes a good chocolate chip cookie

Shopping - recently saved up and bought a McLeod-tartan tam from Scotland

Creating elaborate superstitions - "I can't wear that shirt! It has thirteen patterns on it!"

Climbing trees - she'd sleep in one if she could

Suffering - if circumstances don't allow her to suffer, she'll choose to believe the circumstances are different."You let him play with my music box! Now I'll ALWAYS have to let ANYBODY play with ALL MY STUFF!"

Loud, bangy music - on repeat, no less.
 
Notes: Routinely amazes her family with her varied and random knowledge base. Is willing to be in charge, but doesn't seek it out. Her love of loud music is at variance with her dislike of large gatherings and loud conversations. Enjoyable conversationalist.

Recommendation: Upgrade to Next Age Level, with honors.

Happy eleventh birthday to Addi! We love you!

-- SJ, DJ, SMJ, DMJ, PGJ

Happy Birthday Poem

My mother's birthday was yesterday, so I wrote her a poem.

I'm kind of embarrassed to post it, though. I set out to compose an ode in the grand tradition of my family, which generally contains lines like:

I'm sure glad you're my mother
Because you wouldn't be if I'd been born to another.

But I completely lost my head and ended up with something that:

1. Has no meter or rhyme
2. Is kind of a serious effort

My apologies, Mom. I'll try not to work as hard on it next year. Hope this entertains you meanwhile.

An Ideal Mother

Question:

When you were growing up,

Did your mother bake cookies?

Did she take you to a salon for a mother-daughter “spa day”?

Did she plan fun, creative activities for you?

Lucky! You must have had an ideal mother.

Answer:
Yes!

She baked cookies!

Only, it wasn’t cookies, it was food. Cooked from scratch, every day. Rice and gravy, barbecue chicken, potato salad (served warm!), red beans and rice, field peas and butterbeans, pork chops, corn on the cob, meatloaf. Cookies? Pfft, she just bought those.

She took me to a salon for a mother-daughter “spa day”!

Except not really to a salon so much. She didn’t care much about facials and manicures. Planting roses, chopping wood, and refinishing furniture does a number on painted fingernails. No, we left the Scrabble game set up all the time and played a lot. And she gave me books that she’d really liked. And we sat together and talked a lot. Spa days? That would have interfered with our visiting.

She planned fun and creative activities for me!

Or, rather, she left me alone to read, play the computer, ride my bike, swim in the creek, make up stories. That was fun. When I told her about what I was thinking of, she had lots of ideas and suggestions and laughed at my jokes. That helped me be creative. She was always there when I needed her, and not in the way when I needed time to myself.  Plan my activities? Where’s the fun in that?

 

Why, yes, I did have an ideal mother.

Thanks for noticing.

I love you, Mom! Happy Birthday!

-- SJ

What We Think: Brave

Addi: "Can we go see 'Brave'? It just came out yesterday."
Sara: "Probably. We'll look into it."
Darren: [Texts babysitter and checks showtimes online.]

It's only within the past two or three years that our older two will sit through a movie in a theater, so Family Movie Time is pretty new and fun. And that's how the four of us landed at the 1:50 showing of Pixar's Brave this afternoon.


Judges' results:

Darren and Sara: It was pretty good. As a friend said, it's more Disney than Pixar.
Addi and Stuart: Woohoo! Great movie! Loved it! The will o'wisps were cute! The TRIPLETS! HAHAHA!

The main reason why I wasn't won over was not because the animation lacked anything. Absolutely beautiful work. The light, water, and Merida's hair were especially enchanting. And the music was all Scottish and Celticish. In all, the movie was very much a pleasure to experience.

But Scotland, although part of my heritage and full of great legends, just doesn't spark my imagination. For one thing, the big bad creature in this story was... a bear. Bears just don't make my heart quail, although I'm sure that opinion would change if I ever actually met one. And Celtic magic isn't flashy and sparkly. It all seemed pretty mundane.

Also, the movie was populated by the usual Disney-brand of idiotic males. They served as foils for the intelligent, capable females. But in past Pixar movies, male characters didn't have to be fools in order to prove that the female characters were smart (Bob and Helen Parr -- Mr. and Mrs. Incredible -- come to mind.) So that affected my enchantment level, also.

And the whole part where the princess persuades the clans to break with tradition and let their young people choose who they want to love? Sounds great to twenty-first century America, but rather stupid in a setting where marriage was part of politics and treaties.

 But wasn't there anything good? Yes. Lots. For one thing, what I love about Pixar movies is that they focus on relationships other than romantic ones. Finding Nemo was all about a father and son. Up followed an old man and a young boy. The Incredibles featured a whole family. Likewise, Brave deals with a mother and daughter who have to learn to meet halfway. The script was (haha) brave enough not to include a romantic angle at all, except between the king and queen.

There was a lot of Girl Power in the movie, but not in an overstated way. I certainly daydreamed about being the kind of princess who could gallop through the woods and fire arrows at hanging targets -- hitting them dead center every time. On the other hand, one of the best scenes was when the queen quelled an entire roomful of brawling men simply by walking with quiet dignity through the middle of them.

You can tell I'm a grownup. I didn't even mention the usual Disney sidekick, which in this case was split into three: the princess's triplet brothers, who orchestrate elaborate shenanigans throughout the movie. Addi and Stuart were big fans of the triplets.

If you're thinking of seeing the movie, you ought to. You probably won't regret the hour and a half you spend with Merida in ancient Scotland. Oh, right, and the triplets.

-- SJ

Sh&Sw: Sunday Observations

Because our congregation was too small to keep going, our church of the last six or seven years closed last month. We've been trying out a small Anglican congregation for the past three or four Sundays. Well, Darren and I are "trying it out." As soon as the kids discovered that there were classes for all of them -- including Addi and Stuart for most of the service -- they embraced it as their very own home church.

I, jaded and burned out with the Sunday rigamarole, am really just along for the ride. But I've been able to sit through the entire service with Darren beside me the whole time. That's been much more refreshing than I expected.

I mean, mostly I'm burned out. But there are a few things you can say to me to kindle a passion, nay, a nuclear explosion. Things along the lines of, "Children shouldn't have toys or entertainment during the service. They're there to WORSHIP!" or "You can train your kids at home to sit still and quiet during the service, so they don't disrupt others' worship on Sunday." or "Part of your job as a mother is training your children to worship, so even though you don't feel like you get anything out of the service, you know you're doing what God wants you to do!" How about you just talk to myself of four years ago? She was still listening to you. Now, I'll just content myself by saying, "Shut up."

(Hm, this is shaping up to be not so short or sweet.)

One last observation. Even if the visiting pastor gives a sermon that's really good on the grace-love-mercy part of God, but gets rather amorphous when it gets to how Jesus relates to all this, a liturgical service fills in the gaps. We still read several passages of Scripture, heard traditional prayers, said a communal confession of sin, and recited the Nicene creed. It's all there, if you're paying any attention.

(Which kids don't, which was why they were instead in their own rooms with their own crafts and happy about it.)

-- SJ

Three's a Charm

A funny thing happened on our way into June this year.

Here we were, a family of five people and one extremely cute baby. That baby became a toddler. It was my fourth time through the toddler stage, and this time was I almost certain I was going to lose my mind. But I didn't, and the toddler grew in wisdom (sort of), stature (quite a bit) and favor with God and his siblings, who still consider him the cutest thing on two well-built little legs.

And then came this June -- this day, in fact -- when that cute little toddler stepped over the threshold into the world of Little Boy. He loves monster trucks, trains, sword fighting, and pizza. He's still working on his talking, but has some pretty important concepts down, like "Addi/Stuart/Daphne in Pip's room for Quiet Play?" or "No! This toy is MY job!"

He has absolutely no idea that today is in any way significant. But we think it's worth mentioning. Happy birthday to our incredibly cute three-year-old boy!

We love you, Pip!



Thanks to my sister-in-law, Jessica, for this picture, which I stole from her album on Facebook.

-- SJ, DJ, AMJ, SMJ, DMJ

Thrift Store Treasures and Trials

This morning, the kids decided to launch a concerted campaign to get to the nearby thrift store. The store has a great racket going: the volunteers bag up random toys that they don't want to price individually. They write "Grab Bag" on the outside, price them $1 for big bags and $.50 for small ones, and sit and wait for the Joneses to come.

The kids dashed around the house, making cleaning offerings to appease the household god ("Look how clean the living room is, Mama!") Addi eagerly finished her math lesson. They scavenged up three dollars. Meanwhile, I realized I had a big load that needed to go to the thrift shop. In the end, it all worked in their favor: we got in the van and went.

But a terrible discovery awaited them. The price of the grab bags was doubled. Now it was $2 for a big bag, $1 for a small bag. It was unfair! It was monstrous! "It's life," I said. Fortunately, there was enough change among them to get a big bag and a small bag.

Back home, the four of them sorted through their loot. It included several Mardi Gras necklaces and three plastic eye patches. For a while, there were several pirates rushing around saying, "Arrrghh, mateys!" When Pip finally got ahold of an eye patch, he strapped it over his nose and ran around shouting, "Raarrgg, babies!"


After some obligatory fights over toys that they forgot about within twenty minutes, the household is now content.

-- SJ

Personality Quiz

Today you:

a. Had friends play at your house most of the day;
b. Went to a parade and waved at pretty much everybody who passed, including the tractors;
c. Had supper at friends' house, which was full of people, many of them young and loud;
d. Caught a fireworks show in the evening;
e. Ended the day energized and happy.

f. All of the above, especially E.

Score: If you chose F, you are the only extrovert in the family.

P.S. Your name is Daphne.

-- SJ

SH&SW: These Things Made Me Laugh

From Facebook:

Kimberly Knight Reed:
I have always wanted to be fluent in another language. And today- it happened. Somewhere between the store and my house, I started speaking a foreign language. I can tell bc my kids have no idea what I am saying. Otherwise I am sure I would not have to say "pick up your socks" or "throw away your trash" as loudly as I have been and as many times as I have.


***

From Pip (translated into modern English):
"Saw ladybug! Outside! Didn't talk to me. Have no mouth. Has ears."

***
From Daphne:
She traded a pencil sharpener with Addi. For some reason, she decided she wanted what used to be a small house in snow globe before Pip threw it and broke it. Now it's a little house on a pedestal. Compelled to mark every single incident of her life with commentary, Daphne said in a rapturous voice, "I always dreamed of having a broken snow globe with a little house on a standable!"

***

And from me. I really like my own jokes. To prevent little hands from stealing a notebook of mine, I wrote in silver paint pen: "Sara's Notebook. Touch it and you'll be eating green bean smoothies for LIFE!"

Daphne, inspired, had me write on hers: "Daphne's Notebeook. Touch it and you'll be eating tomato cookies for LIFE!"

Addi, who is less inclined to flights of fancy, labeled hers: "Addi's Notebook. Don't touch it or you'll get the silent treatment for life." Which she probably would prefer from the majority of the planet.

I used most of my notebook up. So I got a new one yesterday. I labeled it in flowing letters, "Mama's Notebook of Beautiful Thoughts." The only thing I've written in it so far is a grocery list, which isn't very lyrical. But the handwriting looks nice.

-- SJ

SH&SW: Householdy Charm

The title is a play on a remark by a character in Harry Potter #5. Tonks tries to pack Harry's trunk with a wave of her wand and fails. She explains, "I was never good at all those householdy charms like my mum." And women everywhere thought, "Hey, let me have a try at those householdy charms! I NEED those!"

But I don't have them. So I have to use, for instance, a vacuum cleaner. However, I often sweep my carpet instead of vacuuming the whole area. That way I can make four or five little trash piles, then turn the 2- or 5-year-old loose with the vacuum hose. It's satisfying all around.

In news of household residents, Daphne had me tape her balloon string to a stick. She jerked it around a while and realized she could whap the balloon with the stick.

Daphne: Hey, Mama! I bet you can't guess what the name of my new game is!
Me: Um, Bump the Balloon.
Daphne: No! 'Hit The Balloon With The Stick'! But you were close. I'm on Level 10 already."

-- SJ

Love, Sara

Dear myfitnesspal.com,

DJ and I really like your site. It's useful. It's cheerful ("If every day were like today, you'd weigh X in 5 weeks!"). It has an extensive database of foods and exercises.


Only a couple of tweaks will make it even better. For instance, in addition to the "Food Diary" page, you should have another one entitled, "Foods I DIDN'T Eat Diary." That way I could record when I didn't eat pizza when the kids did, or a blueberry muffin, or Darren could input when he DIDN'T stop in at Chick-Fil-A. This feature would vastly improve our experience. Thank you.

Love, Sara.

**
Dear New Van,

We're working hard to come up with a name for you. Top runner is "Isabella." Because our other car is, you know, Ferdinand.

Love, Sara.

**
Dear myfitnesspal.com,

Oh, and your exercise database is helpful, but seeing as it's user-created, I'm surprised there aren't more entries like, "Housework (broke a sweat) -- 70 calories burned" or "Pulled kids in wagon around bumpy backyard -- 90 calories burned."

Love, Sara.

**
Dear Doting Parents,

If your last name is Box, and you adore the name Paisley, you maybe ought to reconsider using the middle name Olivia. Remember, initials matter!

Love, Sara.

**
Dear myfitnesspal.com,

Or how about, "Tore apart son's broken headboard and dragged it all out into the garage -- 110 calories burned." Or here's a good one, can't believe nobody put it in, "Walked around block with 5-year-old on bicycle going as fast as she could, and let me tell you, that's some serious walking. -- 95 calories burned."

Love, Sara.

**
Dear New Van,

Oh, how about something more whimsical? Like Queen? Or Fairy? Or Unicorn? I like Unicorn! Only, traditionally a unicorn would approach only virgin women, which is entirely the wrong idea for a minivan.

Love, Sara.

**
Dear myfitnesspal.com,

No need to be snippy.  I know I can add whatever exercises I want to the database. I was just surprised that, of all the thousands of users you boast, evidently nobody does any housework or plays with their kids. That's not my fault, you know. Don't be so cranky. I think you might need to get something more to eat.

Love, Sara.

7 Quick Takes, May 4, 2012

-- DJ

1. Iron Man – awesome movie. Robert Downey, Jr. is perfect as Tony Stark.

2. The Incredible Hulk – meh. Nice climactic fight, and the cameo by Stan Lee is funny, but otherwise kind of boring.

3. Iron Man 2 – liked it, but not as good as the first. Stark’s testimony before Congress is hysterically funny.

4. Thor – fun movie with lots of cool images, but not a very complex plot.

5. Captain America – loved this one! Great WWII footage and costumes, and Steve Rogers’ character as a patriot and protector really shines through.

6. Avengers – Joss Whedon is the master. This was a fantastic movie, with a TON of great superhero fights, and a wonderful climax. Especially loved Captain America as the mature older leader.

7. In other news, I went to the Avengers marathon last night and watched the movies in points 1-6. I’m tired now, but it was great!

More at Conversion Diary.

Sh&Sw 2: 1200 Calories

Darren and I are tracking our calories to get our eating under control. (It's odd, from a historical perspective, that we are so well off that we have to train ourselves to eat less.) On the one hand, it's a lot more fun working on it together. On the other hand, it's no fun whatsoever to be the female half of the team. You know how many calories Darren gets in a day? Hm, let's see... he considers 750 for lunch to be a good target. That's more than half of my entire daily allowance. Not only is life unfair, but biology is too.

In fact, for the first two weeks on myfitnesspal.com, I ended each day nearly in tears. Even with walking or running a mile or two a day, I was still overshooting my goal. And it's not like I sat around eating candy bars and doughnuts all day.

Here's what has made a difference:

1. Darren's friend Maureen, who is helping keep him on track, wrote to me that "1200 calories can be a little food or a lot of food, depending on what you eat." She suggested lots of veggies... as in, entire packages of frozen vegetables. So I took her up on it, filling up my bowl with broccoli or soybeans and adding a bit of rice or cheese or chicken to make it more interesting. It works, it really does.

2. Tracking my calories is like budgeting: it shows up where I spend the most. In my case, it's snacks. I can eat 245 for breakfast, 312 for lunch, 390 for supper... and 500 for snacks. Getting the snack section under control has made it much easier to see green numbers at the end of the day.


The scale is consistently five pounds lower than it was a month ago, which is pleasing. Darren's progress is even more remarkable, because he's been disciplined, active, and because biology isn't fair.

-- SJ

KJV-free Devotions

It is my informed opinion that memorizing anything in the King James Version is like memorizing something from a random word generator. Examples:

"For even hereunto were ye called: Because Christ also suffered for us..." 

"And having made peace through the blood of His cross by Him to reconcile all things unto Himself; by Him, I say..." 

Go on, tell me how beautiful the language is. I'll reply, "Therefore have I also often hearkened unto even many who with great sincerity and earnestness did tell me that such language is even so thereunto beautiful and heretofore whenceforth did also sayeth, I say, unto him who believeth and yea, even unto the end Amen.

It's all cluttered up with words we don't use anymore, unless we happen to be quoting Shakespeare or, you know, the King James Version of the Bible. It drives me crazy. So what version of the Bible do I prefer to read? The easy answer is "New Living Translation." The absolutely honest answer, however, is: I don't read my Bible if I can help it.

I don't want to make a martyr out of myself and say that while others can overcome years of spiritual confusion and Biblical misuse, I can't. I also am not inviting advice as to how I can "get into the Word" and discover how comforting and beautiful it is. (Don't -- do NOT -- tell me to start with the Psalms because I can really see God's heart there.) The simple fact is that I don't like sitting down and reading passages of Scripture for a daily "quiet time."

Instead, the way I approach God is a way that, to me, is "non-traditional," although to the majority of the Christian world it's as familiar as Psalm 23. I use a prayer-book. The books I prefer are compiled by Phyllis Tickle, whose name never makes me giggle. The Divine Hours come in volumes for Autumn/Winter, Spring/Summer, and nighttime. I use whatever is handy, and don't really pay attention to the date of the prayer service I read. It's all good.

Below is a sample of one of the services, taken from the March section of the Spring/Summer book. (I printed this out for my Bible study, so I curtailed the Psalm and removed a prayer to make it fit on one page.) This is how I approach God. I thought if there happened to be any other people who possibly have a hard time reading their Bible but find it difficult to mention the problem among other Christians, this could help.

-- SJ

(Note: These services are responsive. When you see an asterisk, it indicates that the congregation says that portion back to the Reader.)

The Morning Office

To Be Observed on the Hour or Half Hour

Between 6 and 9 a.m.

The Call to Prayer

Come, let us bow down, and bend the knee,  *and kneel before the Lord our Maker.

For he is our God,  *and we are the people of his pasture and the sheep of his hand.  Ps. 95:6-7

The Request for Presence

So teach us to number our days *that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.  Ps 90:12

The Greeting

My God, my rock in whom I put my trust,  *my shield, the horn of my salvation, and my refuge; you are worthy of praise.  Ps 18:2

The Refrain for the Morning Lessons

My eyes are upon the faithful in the land, that they may dwell with me.  Ps 101:6

A Reading

Jesus taught us, saying, ³¹ “He has come from above and is greater than anyone else. We are of the earth, and we speak of earthly things, but he has come from heaven and is greater than anyone else.^{[i] 32} He testifies about what he has seen and heard, but how few believe what he tells them! ³³ Anyone who accepts his testimony can affirm that God is true. ³⁴ For he is sent by God. He speaks God’s words, for God gives him the Spirit without limit.”   John 3:31-34

The Refrain

My eyes are upon the faithful in the land, that they may dwell with me.   Ps 101:6

The Morning Psalm 

Ps 31:13-18

13 The Lord looks down from heaven, *

     and beholds all the people in the world.

14 From where he sits enthroned he turns his gaze *

     on all who dwell on the earth.

15 He fashions all the hearts of them *

     and understands all their works.

16 There is no king that can be saved by a mighty army; *

     a strong man is not delivered by his great strength.

17 The horse is a vain hope for deliverance; *

     for all its strength it cannot save.

18 Behold, the eye of the Lord is upon those who fear him, *

     on those who wait upon his love,

The Refrain

My eyes are upon the faithful in the land, that they may dwell with me.  Ps 101:6

The Cry of the Church

O God, come to my assistance! O Lord, make haste to help me!

The Lord’s Prayer

The Concluding Prayer of the Church

Lord God, almighty and everlasting Father, you have brought me in safety to this new day. Preserve me with your mighty power, that I may not fall into sin, nor be overcome by adversity; and in all I do direct me to the fulfilling of your purpose; through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen.

Short&Sweet Post 1: The True Meaning of Smekday

Due to time restraints which prevent my blogging as much as I'd like to -- by which I mean children who either read everything I post, or who actively interrupt every fourth thought -- I'm going for short and sweet on the blog these days. Like chocolate truffles infused with orange flavor.Or chocolate-covered cherries; those are good, too. I also like toffees. I'm not fond of chocolate-on-chocolate, but I'll eat them if they're chilled. Mint and chocolate is always a good combination -- especially an Andes Mint Ice Cream we discovered a few years ago. Hm, it seems I've wandered into a high-calorie fantasy, brought on no doubt by my recent switch to sensible eating habits. 

Back to the original topic, I hope to blog more often, in smaller portions. A lot like how I'm eating these days. Except without all the bonbons.

The True Meaning of Smekday by Adam Rex (aimed at upper elementary and middle schoolers) was a serendipitous discovery. "Serendipity," as I defined it to my kids, means "a happy accident," and that's how I regard this book. Either Addi or Stuart brought it home from the library, having pulled it off the shelf at random. The premise didn't look very rollicking at first glance.

The year is 2013, and Earth has been taken over by aliens called the Boov. They've renamed the planet "Smekland" after their glorious Captain Smek who conquered the new land. Since the Boov decide they have need of most of North America, they order all Americans to board rocket pods and head to Florida.

Eleven-year-old Gratuity (her friends call her "Tip"), who watched the aliens abduct her mother, decides she'll drive to Florida instead. But she crashes somewhere outside Pittsburgh, and ends up in the company of one a Boov who seems to be on the run from his own kind. When Gratuity finds out why, she also finds out that there are other, scarier aliens to worry about.

So now she has to save the world.

Yeah, so it didn't look like a great read, especially for middle schoolers... until I actually started reading it. It's absolutely hilarious. The alien, for instance. Gratuity asks his name, and he replies, "Forto be saying my name you must have two heads. I haveto taken as my Smekland name, J.Lo." So for the entire book, Gratuity refers to this blue eight-legged frog-faced alien as "J.Lo." In Florida, they hide out in the Happy Mouse Kingdom, an alternate-reality Disneyworld. All the humans have been relocated to Arizona because, it turns out, the Boov like oranges. "Wait, they eat the oranges?" says Gratuity, who knows J.Lo's odd ideas about what constitutes food. "No," says someone else. "I think they wear them."

They travel to Roswell, New Mexico (via a flying car) where they find out that something really DID happen all those years ago. The story also -- in case you didn't catch it -- partially retells the story of the Western conquest of the New World. But Rex never lets his message overtake his story.

I've read the book twice. I don't know how many times Addi and Stuart have read it. (And Daphne's managed to get through the first 50 pages, which as far as she's concerned puts her in with the big kids.) This is definitely one that will stick around in the Household Library. Which it shouldn't be doing right now, because it's overdue at the Public Library.

-- SJ

P.S. Um, I intend for future Short&Sweet Posts to be actually, you know, short.

Influential Sayings

"What are five books that have influenced you most?" I hate questions like this. As soon as I'm asked for a list of anything, my mind goes blank. Five books, for instance? I suddenly can't remember a single book I've ever read in my whole life. Same for "favorite songs." Same for "sins to confess." (I always felt frantic during times of "self-examination" when I couldn't remember anything I'd ever done wrong.)

But if I approach the subject stealthily and gradually, I can come up with some answers. Some people make lists of worship songs. I, on the other hand, have identified five (fairly random) phrases that have had a big influence on how I think.

I might be wrong.
I like my opinions. I think they're accurate, well-balanced, and grace-filled. Many times I'm sure they're based on solid Biblical foundations. But it's incredibly helpful to remind myself that I might be wrong. That margin of error makes room for compassion, understanding... and even the ability to change my mind.

The Bible isn’t an instruction manual
It's not, you know. It's a collection of ancient writings -- some poetry, some history, some campfire stories, some letters, some narratives. It's the only authorized and inspired text that tells us Who God is and who we are in His sight. It's not a systematic layout of what to believe and what to do. One day, when I can read my Bible again, I won't read it like an instruction manual.

You have sinned, but you have also been sinned against.
Sometimes, it really isn't my fault. Sometimes, I really didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes, I have to forgive, but I don't have to take responsibility. That's usually not the case, but sometimes it is.

A unique interpretation is usually a wrong one.
I want to get this printed up on a mug. If you come across a Bible teacher whose take on a passage is radically different from any that you've ever heard before, it probably means that he or she has a good imagination, is pushing a very strong agenda, and doesn't waste a lot of time on, you know, actually teaching the Bible in context.

You have officially moved out of the “youth” category.
I tried swinging on a rope swing. The next day, my muscles screamed and I had big matching bruises on each inside thigh. My quotable mother gently explained to me that, at 35, I can't expect to act like I did when I was a teenager.

-- SJ

Grouchiness

I haven't had enough sleep. Am I dull-witted and unresponsive? Am I snappish? Do I suddenly explode with impassioned pleas to my children to PLEASE CAN'T YOU NOTICE THE BITS OF TRASH ON THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR AND PICK THEM UP? Do I blog about random incidents, long past, that made me grouchy? Yup, low on sleep.

Here's what has me grouchy tonight.

Years ago, I attended a birthday party of an acquaintance's daughter. I found myself wedged on the couch between two women, mother and daughter. They were related to the birthday girl, but that's not what we talked about. Because, first of all, I didn't do much talking at all. They did. And all they talked about was Maddy.

Maddy was the younger woman's five-year-old daughter. I met her when she ran through once or twice, and she didn't strike me as particularly remarkable. But her mother and grandmother certainly thought she was, and they had the stories to back it up. It was as if they got started and just couldn't stop themselves. I heard about the fits Maddy would throw when she was a toddler. I heard about the funny things Maddy said at school. I heard about how Maddy collected dead flies and put them in her dollhouse. All these stories were related with close attention to detail, so that I didn't miss any of the wonder that was Maddy.

And then, then, a ten-year-old girl came to talk to the mother. As I listened, I realized who this girl was. It was like a great reveal in a soap opera: this was the long-lost older sister that nobody had ever mentioned! In all that interminable Maddy-saturated conversation, neither the mother nor grandmother had once mentioned that there was also Ally.

Even now, years later, I'm irritated at those women. I wonder if Maddy is still the shining wonder of her mother and grandmother's lives. And I occasionally think of Ally and wonder how she's doing in that cold shadow of Maddy's.

I really need to get some sleep tonight.

-- SJ

Mental DVD

If my mental processes were burned onto DVD, the resulting video experience would go something like this:

Monday: Hit play! Get the house picked up, breakfast served, kitchen cleaned. Okay, kids -- school in twenty minutes! Let's go!

Tuesday: Continuous play. Get the house picked up, breakfast served (to the younger ones), kitchen cleaned. School in fifteen or so minutes, kids! Just going to check Facebook again. Okay, kids. I gave you fifteen EXTRA minutes. Time for school!

Wednesday: Oops, a skip. Stupid house, why is it always messed up? Here, little ones, if you want something to eat I left some waffles on the table. Big kids, make yourself cereal. School. Blah. Maybe I can make today a library day. No, I hate going to the library with a two-year-old. It's not like school takes very long... probably an indication that I'm not doing enough. I haven't done much science this year. Maybe I should print out science worksheets! Sigh. What's going on on Facebook? Oh, here's a sweet update about love... I bet I could comment something snarky... okay, okay. Kids! Start your math!

Thursday: Pause. Prayer group in the morning, pick up this and that in the afternoon (or take off afternoon entirely). Ahh, Thursdays.

Friday: Fast forward. Week is nearly over! We can do this! Finish strong! Oops, we forgot history. Oh, well, we'll get it on Monday.

-- SJ

Worship Songs

My good friend Joel Klampert recently posted a list of his top 20 worship songs. It was a response to this list from Worship Leader magazine, which has been posting lists of Top 20 recently (WL is celebrating its 20th anniversary, I believe).

Joel defined his list as "These are the songs that grip me, give me goosebumps, and bring me in Jesus presence like no other." Now, although Joel and I are friends, we have Very Different musical tastes (I have described him before as being "bleeding edge, not just cutting edge"). I recognized exactly 3 of his choices: the Kyrie from Mozart's Requiem Mass (excellent choice!), Majesty by Delirious, and Micah 6:8 by Charlie Hall (a song I very much like lyrically, but find too bangy to be really moved by).

So I thought I'd post my list of 20 worship songs that I truly love. They're in completely random order. They don't really fit the criteria that Worship Leader set out, because they're not all in the last 20 years, but these are the songs that lead me to God.

1. Revelation Song - Jennie Lee Riddle

One of the songs that Worship Leader and I agree on. I love the line "Clothed in rainbows of living color, flashes of lighting, rolls of thunder."

2. Great and Wonderful - Frank Wakeman's setting of Revelation 15:3-4 to Handel's Largo

This song still gives me goosebumps.

3. All Hail the Power - words by Edward Perronet, tune Diadem

I can still remember the first time I heard the Shiloh choir sing this song to the Diadem tune (that's the one with the really cool running bass part in the chorus). What a fantastic song.

4. Holy, Holy, Holy - Reginald Heber, John Dykes

Recently a worship leader posted on Facebook, "If you were limited to leading your congregation in only one song this Sunday, what would it be?" I voted for Holy, Holy, Holy.

5. In Christ Alone - Stuart Townend, Keith Getty

This was the song that actually got the most votes for the Facebook post I mentioned above. I agree - I think this is one of the absolute best songs written in the last 20 years. Whenever we sing it, I want to sing the last verse over and over again:

No guilt in life, no fear in death,

This is the power of Christ in me;

From life's first cry to final breath.

Jesus commands my destiny.

No power of hell, no scheme of man,

Can ever pluck me from His hand;

Till He returns or calls me home,

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

6. Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence - Liturgy of St. James, translated by John M. Neale

Another song that gives me goosebumps. My favorite verse:

Rank on rank the host of heaven

Spreads its vanguard on the way,

As the Light of light descendeth

From the realms of endless day,

That the powers of hell may vanish

As the darkness clears away.

7. Be Unto Your Name - Lynn deShazo, Gary Sadler

When I was leading music at church, I did this song probably too many times. It's just SO good.

Holy, holy, Lord God Almighty

Worthy is the Lamb Who was slain

Highest praises, honor and glory

Be unto Your name, be unto Your name.

8. Before the Throne of God Above - Vickie Cook

One of several Sovereign Grace songs that I really enjoy. I love the ending to this one too:

One in Himself I cannot die.

My soul is purchased by His blood,

My life is hid with Christ on high,

With Christ my Savior and my God!

9. I Need Not Fear - Kieran Metcalfe

This song is from Resound Worship, which has some terrific songs. Another good one is "On the Darkest Day of All."

It begins with a rousing declaration of truth:

I need not fear, though greatly I've sinned,

for I have a greater Saviour.

10. Christ is Risen - Matt Maher

This one is a great Easter song with a great pounding beat on the chorus. Go see it!

11. Crown Him With Many Crowns - Matthew Bridges, Godfrey Thring

My favorite verse of this one usually isn't sung:

Crown Him the virgin’s Son, the God incarnate born,

Whose arm those crimson trophies won which now His brow adorn;

Fruit of the mystic rose, as of that rose the stem;

The root whence mercy ever flows, the Babe of Bethlehem.

12. Holy God - Brian Doerksen

To tell the truth, I like listening to this one more than singing it. I don't find it useful for congregational use, but for personal, it's wonderful.

13. How Deep the Father’s Love for Us - Stuart Townend

Another marvelous composition from Townend.

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer.

But this I know with all my heart -

His wounds have paid my ransom.

14. Immortal, Invisible - Walter Smith

I love these lines:

Unresting, unhasting, and silent as light,

Nor wanting, nor wasting, Thou rulest in might.

15. Let Us Kneel at Calvary - Sam Hargreaves

This is another Resound song. We've done it at church as the very first song on Easter morning. It moves from "We will kneel in adoration" to "We will stand in celebration." Very excellent way to start off the celebration!

16. My Savior, My God - words by Dorothy Greenwell, much improved tune by Aaron Shust

I think this is one of the finest "updates" of an old song that's been done recently. Check it out.

17. Of the Father’s Love Begotten - Aurelius Prudentius, 5th century

A lovely Advent hymn, with a tune that's a thousand years old. I truly love this one. Unfortunately, it's not really popular with our church group; the last time I tried it, my pastor encouraged me to find something a little more accessible. Too bad.

Of the Father’s love begotten, ere the worlds began to be,

He is Alpha and Omega, He the source, the ending He,

Of the things that are, that have been,

And that future years shall see, evermore and evermore!

18. The Wonderful Cross - Isaac Watts, Chris Tomlin

I think it's pretty much a given that in a top 20 worship list, there has to be a Tomlin song, right? :) And if it's combined with the greatest hymn writer of all time, even better!

19. Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) - John Newton, Chris Tomlin

I think the ending verse of this one, with its imagery of snow melting in the sun, is absolutely gorgeous.

20. Ye Watchers and Ye Holy Ones - John Riley, tune of "All Creatures of Our God and King"

A great song for Easter, with its chorus of Alleluias.

O friends, in gladness let us sing,

Supernal anthems echoing,

Alleluia! Alleluia!

To God the Father, God the Son,

And God the Spirit, Three in One.

And that's it. Feel free to post your own list!

--DJ