Retroactive Honor

I got a call from someone that I've become good friends with over the last two years.

"Hey," she said. "I just called to tell you that I'm retroactively putting you in my wedding."

I happily accepted. After all, it's all the honor without all the cost.

-- SJ

Tonight I Was a Good Daddy

This year, a new nursery opened just down the road from us. Sara has been wanting to get over there for months to browse around, and today we finally went. We picked up a pumpkin for each of the kids. Stuart and Addie competed to see who could get the biggest one (Addie won, with a 20 lb. effort).
Then we came home and committed Jack-O'Lanterning :)

First, Addie had to dress the sacrificial victims properly.


Daddy undertakes the fateful deed of carving.


A boy and his pumpkin.


Mama says this pumpkin needs to floss.

A fun night, and we got roasted pumpkin seeds for snack. Yum!

--DJ

Back to Basics

I called Darren at work just as he was shutting down his computer. "Hey, could you stop by the grocery store on the way home and pick up some things?"

"Sure. Want to text me the list? Oh, hold on, you could email my legal assistant in the next couple minutes and he could print it out for me. His address is..."

"Wait, wait. Or -- this is a pretty radical idea -- you could reach over and pick up a pen off your desk and write down what I tell you."

Pause.

"I'm sticking my tongue out at you."

-- SJ

I'm enjoying

Carrie Newcomer.

It's mellow folksy music. I found her at random in the folk section of Borders. She's Quaker, it turns out; maybe that's why her songs have an upswing of hope that many others don't. Or maybe that's why she writes about something other than lost love, a subject that doesn't wear nearly as well as some singers think it does.

-- SJ

Finished

I finished Brideshead Revisited yesterday, and liked the ending very much. I plan to re-read the book in a year or two; now that I know the story, I think I'll be able to grasp what Waugh is actually writing about -- which isn't the story I thought it was.

Also, I think the book was written quickly, leaving in some parts that would have been pared down with editing. Oh that I could write something this deep so "quickly."

It's worth a shot, definitely. If you do read it, email me because I'd love to discuss it.

Now to return to Zenna Henderson's People stories, which have all the subtlety of a train wreck (but much more fun).

-- Sara.

Reading

I've mentioned a few times before that Darren and I usually can't share reading lists. Not only because he reads an indecent number of books in a month, but because we like different things.

He recently listened to "Brideshead Revisited" by Evelyn Waugh. He loved it. Came home raving about it and said he *thought* I'd like it. (We've learned to qualify these statements.)

I'm almost finished reading it. And am fighting the feeling that I'm drifting in a sea of concepts and grabbing only about every third one that comes by. Some pivotal realization takes place, the story changes direction, and I'm left wondering, "What the heck happened? Why can't you TELL me what happened?"

But Darren basks in prose like this, slippery writing where the author doesn't say things outright, so you're left with more of an impression than a fact. He reads books like these as much for the writing as for the story. It's not a love I understand: I like skillful prose, but don't delight in poetry. But many of my tastes have changed in the eight years since I married Darren. I'll finish the book. Maybe when I come back to it in a few years, I'll get it.

Or, like Darren, not require that I get everything, and just enjoy it. I have a long way to go.

-- SJ

Irony Rocks

The more liberated we become, the more wacky measures we have to take to protect ourselves... from ourselves. Touchstone mentions a new feature that tries to minimize the unfortunate side effects of getting stinking drunk over the weekend. Considering that I'm likely to bomb five math problems even when sober, well-rested, and eating a balanced diet, my policy will be to avoid getting drunk.

Also, parents of preschoolers in New Jersey have been up in arms over a mandatory flu shot. I like the part where one of the organizers says, "This one-size-fits-all approach is really very anti-American." Um, do you know why the public school system was created? Hint: it wasn't to foster individuality and nonconformity. One-size-fits-all is actually a revered American approach.

-- SJ

Kid Quotes

At our weekly co-op, the science class studied molecules by making models with gumdrops. Addie brought me her plate as soon as class was over. "Look, Mama. Gumdrops. My teacher said I had to show you before I ate any. I was really hungry and I cried, but she wouldn't let me eat any."

She sat down and helped herself to a green one and a white one. A moment later, the anguished cry of disillustionment rang through the building: "Gumdrops taste AWFUL!"

***

I asked Stuart to pray as we were pulling out of the driveway one afternoon. He prayed, "Dear Jesus, please bless our trip."

Of course Daphne was echoing him as he spoke. Her prayer came out as, "Dear Jesus, please trip."

***

Stuart has developed a taste for trash-talking. Fortunately he doesn't have access to any real insults, so he makes them up. He and Daphne play the Trash Talk Echo Game: "You cuckoo bird!" "You cook bird." "You lamp smasher!" "You lamp mash." "You magnet cranker!" "You magmumble ker!" Yesterday he was calling her "You Monopoly butt!" but he got in trouble for that.

-- SJ

Darren's Birthday Present

I got him this. I bet Darcy, who put such a stock in building a personal library, would have liked one of these.

-- SJ

Twenty-Five by Forty

This was going to be my list of forty goals to accomplish by the time I'm forty years old. I don't tend to be an ambitious person, though, so there are only twenty-five goals.

--DJ

He didn't like my suggestions of "create a scrapbook" and "play Nancy Drew with Sara." So much for working together for common life goals. -- SJ

1. Read Dante’s Divine Comedy
2. Start learning Spanish
3. Take piano lessons for a year
4. Learn how to bake bread from scratch
5. Go to a play
6. Take kids to Disney World
7. Memorize the seven penitential Psalms
8. Witness to a non-Christian
9. Make a deep friend
10. Take a retreat at Holy Cross Monastery
11. Read through the entire Bible in a year
12. Read Sienkiewicz’s Polish trilogy
13. Write a good poem
14. Teach a class on Church history
15. Go away for a weekend with Sara
16. Memorize the Lord’s Prayer and Apostles’ Creed in Latin
17. Go to a performance of Durufle’s Requiem
18. Get to a weight of 190 pounds
19. Drive a PT cruiser
20. Ride in a limousine
21. Have 6 months worth of pay in savings account
22. Buy a nice fedora
23. Learn to play guitar
24. Get article published in Touchstone
25. Buy a good big seascape

Happy (oops) Birthday!

It's not that I forgot, by any means. I made him a special supper the night before, I got up with the kids yesterday morning so he could sleep in, we gave him cards and a present before breakfast, we all went out to eat Thai food for lunch. We celebrated his birthday all day. But I forgot to post about it, so now I'm worried that it wasn't a real official birthday after all.

Yesterday my favorite person turned 35. Much to our surprise: we thought that just happened to other people. Any followers of this blog, whether faithful readers or random drop-in, know very well that I see Darren with starry eyes of hero worship. It's just that he keeps deserving it. Not much I can do about it.

Darren makes the world a better place. He's easygoing: he doesn't usually feel it necessary to make others agree with him. He's very patient. He calls his parents every Sunday, thinks his mom is great, and doesn't think I should be just like his mom. He's one of those dads that go for a seriously high price at the Father Store, although he thinks he never quite reaches the standard that his own dad set.

Happy birthday, Wonderful! Some things are so obvious that we just go ahead and say it anyway: I love you!

-- SJ

P.S. Darren also takes it in stride when his wife forgets to post about his birthday, even though she emails him to remind him to post about HER birthday because it's So Important To Her.

What We Think -- Random Roundup

I've read books lately -- six in the last month! That's not even counting BH&G! Just that alone is blogworthy, but I'm even adding opinion and commentary. Brief opinion and commentary. Such a day is rarely seen in the blogworld.

• Something from the Nightside, Simon Green
• Agents of Light and Darkness, Simon Green

The Nightside books are everything I hate. Private eye, horror, gritty and dark, violent. I'm completely at a loss as to why I enjoy them so much. It isn't even that Green is a top-notch writer, merely an entertaining one. Maybe it's because the books are a mix of reality, fantasy, and sci-fi, and there are some very funny lines. Maybe it's because the bad guys are really, really bad and the good guy resists sinking to their level. Maybe I enjoy the fact that the author allows real supernatural power to exist, whether good or bad. The second book features angels and demons as strong, terrifying, single-minded messengers who show no mercy. These are beings you want to steer clear of. (They're also a bit limited in their thinking, since all they do is carry out orders, which is pretty funny.)

• Water for Elephants, Sara Gruen

I got this book from my book swap partner. (I sent her The Oxford Book of Humourous Prose, which isn't nearly as terrible as it sounds.) Gruen is a writer of enormous skill. I enjoyed her writing as much as I did the story itself, about a Depression-era circus. One example of how understated she is, but still manages to tell her story, is the part where Marlena gets hurt and is taken to Barbara's tent. Barbara is the strip-tease dancer and prostitute. The ringmaster asks where Marlena is, and Jacob (the protagonist) says, "She's in Barbara's tent." The ringmaster says, "Who?" and Jacob says, "The cooch girl." The ringmaster turns and says, "She's in the cooch girl's tent. Go get somebody to help." It's enlightening that Jacob knows Barbara's name and the ringmaster doesn't. The whole book is written in the same restrained, illuminating style.

Fine print: There are some "R-rated" scenes -- rather trashy scenes -- but they fit the context of the story. For the record I do object on principle to the choices of some of the characters. But I loved this book.

• The Shack, William P. Young

A controversial book about God that people find inspirational and healing. I saw sweetness and goo all over the place and ignored this book. My mother-in-law not only read it, but agreed to do a discussion of it at her church, and asked us to read it. So I picked it up. I was engaged by the first chapter, cried during the middle (not because of touching scenes, but because I so identified with the main character's anger and inability to trust that God is good), and finished it with the feeling that it's a healing book to read. Not perfect and occasionally a trifle precious, but overall a good read. I think it appeals to a certain type of person, especially those who have wounds that haven't healed over very well. Plus it's not a traditional novel. It's more a framework for discussions of God and who He is. As for the Big-C Controversial part of it, it made sense within the story and I had no trouble with it.

• Twilight, Stephanie Meyer

This has hit the Bestseller list, has been made into an upcoming movie, and is the type of book I like. Well, I'm not fond of vampire stories in general, but this one is Young Adult and very clean. And what could be cooler than a story about a girl who falls in love with a vampire? Huh. LOTS could be cooler than this book. I didn't like it. The author thinks her vampire is about twenty-five times more fascinating than I do, the protagonist is angsty and unfriendly, and the entire point of the book was... falling in love? Eternally? At seventeen? Pardon me for being underwhelmed. I've been assured by at least two Twlight fans that I'll like the second book better. The author split a story in half and stuffed it with cotton candy to make it longer. Still, I'm not rushing out to throw myself on the waiting list at the library.

In the interest of equal time, Darren liked the book. Whatever.

• The Blue Sword, Robin McKinley

Darren told me over and over how much he likes this book (the sequel won a Newberry). I finally decided to try it, even though McKinley and I have a rocky relationship. Her word choices or phrasing often irritate me, although when I go back and read it carefully, I realize she's saying exactly what she wants to. This book started off dry, but I stuck with it. I'm glad I did. It's not a rollicking tale; it's very dense narrative, rather detached in tone. But it's a very engaging story. Plus, McKinley being a poet, the descriptions -- even of the desert -- are beautifully done. And the story itself has whiffs of the classic potboiler Upright English Lady Carried Off By Sensual Desert Sheik, which makes it appealing on other levels. :)

That's the lineup.

-- SJ

Introducing... (IIII)

Peter was Best Man in our wedding, and at the reception gave the most wonderful toast that ended up introducing us as our new joint email address. We met Debra shortly after she and Peter married, but the poor girl met practically all of Peter's East Coast friends in one trip, so I wonder how much she actually remembers. The Fears and the Joneses have gotten to know each other through blogs, and it's been fun.

Susannah (Pygmy Puffs and Heffalumps) ran the bookstore where Darren works, and her husband held Morning Prayer out of the 1928 Book of Common Prayer once a week, so both were important people in Darren's universe. We were sorry to see them go when they moved, but that's why God created blogs.

Most BFFs promise to be in each other's weddings, but then there was us. Dana (Magical Realism) and I planned to share an old elegant home when we got old, occasionally leaving it to take a deserving neice or nephew on a European tour. By this time we realize that we can't share a house because we couldn't agree on where to live (we're the city mouse and country mouse all over again). But then, the husbands complicate the whole plan anyway. Brooks over at One Glass is my best-friend-in-law.

I knew Kelly (Restless Heart) for years because she was Darren's legal assistant. We didn't actually connect in friendship until about three months ago. And ha ha, how funny that within weeks of our first long emails, while we were still surprised and pleased at our new friendship, her husband landed a new job two states away! *chuckle.* So Kelly has moved out of my reach, but she's still online, seeing the world with her unusual perspective.

-- SJ

More to come periodically.

The (the) Echo (echo) Stage (stage)

Daphne's in the Echo Stage ("In da echo stage.") She repeats whatever she hears ("Peats ever hears.") She also repeats herself, tirelessly, until somebody acknowledges what she's saying. Oh, but not just anybody: Daphne has an acute sense of being pawned off. If Darren tries to answer her to save me the effort, Daphne immediately reproaches him: "No, Daddy. I talkin' to Mama." Same goes for me if she was talkin' to Daddy, and same goes for both of us if she was talkin' to Addie or Stuart. Daphne's a tyrant.

Last night in the van, Darren and I were trying to have a conversation. Daphne was trying to contribute. We tuned in to hear her saying, "It's getting dark." We didn't answer, and she repeated it. And repeated it. We started keeping count. She repeated it. And repeated it. She said "It's getting dark" twenty times before demanding that Darren and I "please stoppit laughing."

-- SJ

Black Pot, Meet Black Kettle

In a parking lot, I saw a bumper-sticker on a van:

"You can't be Catholic and Pro-Abortion."

I got closer and saw that someone had written across it in black marker:

"Then why be Catholic, you judgmental jerk."

-- SJ

It Came Out of My Mouth

Addie saw a picture of Bratz dolls. I explained why she didn't have any: "They don't dress like young ladies should, they wear too much makeup, and they call themselves brats. I don't want you to be a brat."

Then I said it.

In my defense, I was referring to Elina or Genevieve. These two characters are actually rather good role models.

Still, I said it.

"I'd rather you be like Barbie than Bratz."

-- SJ

The Lettermaker: A Christmas Project

Thanks to y'all who responded to my odd request, a beta testing as it were. Last night I polished up everything and started the word around, and now I'll post it here:

It’s time for the annual holiday letter. You know, the one that’s fun to get, fun to read, and a headache to write. This year, you can have all the fun without the work – The Lettermaker will write your letter for you!

You provide the information and choose your style template, and I do all the organizing and writing. In little more than a week, you’ll be ready to print out and mail your completed holiday letter.

(You must be able to receive multiple attachments via email and open MS Word documents. The Lettermaker doesn’t print, label, or mail the letters.)

Obviously I'll be open until Christmas, but wouldn't it be nice to have that all taken care of ahead of time? Let me know when you're ready to start.

-- SJ

Introducing... (III)

Seven years ago, we held our first All Saint's Day Party and Charlessa was one of the guests. She's attended almost every party since. Last year, her invitation included a husband -- Jesse. Charlessa's blog recounts the trials of being the lone full-time librarian in a college library, and Jesse posts a lot about science and theology. Not a range of subjects you ever expect to intersect.

There was very limited access into the Jones Family ten years ago. I'm grateful that I share the daughter-in-law slot with Jill. She's fun, has a love of beautiful things, displays amazing patience with her full household of four children, and makes absolutely heavenly toffee. The Virginia Joneses and the New Hampshire Joneses live at very different speeds of life, but all enjoy each other very much.

Amy K and I have many mutual friends -- including our husbands, who both boarded with the Halls' at one time. We became friends ourselves when she worked at HSLDA. Amy's was the first blog I began to follow, before I even began one myself. I can always count on something profound or entertaining from Amy. (The entertainment factor skyrocketed once her older daughter, Meredith, began talking.) The last time Darren and I saw Kevin and Amy in person, Meredith was a baby in a carrier. But it doesn't feel as if we've missed out too much on each others' lives, thanks be to blogs.

Well, of course there's Lindsay! Everybody at HSLDA met Darren first. When Lindsay arrived with her sparkle, enthusiasm, loud laughter, and countless catchphrases, everybody turned to Darren and asked, "Where in the gene pool did SHE come from?" (From her mother, for the record.) Lindsay is the person I can go to for fun and games, or serious talks. Pretty much the only thing we can't do together is watch movies, because I don't like her movies and she can't figure out if I even LIKE any movies.

More to come periodically...

-- SJ