Annual Reveiw for S M Jones

Name: Stuart

Hair:  Blond, preferably in a mohawk style
Eyes: Gray, with a touch of green; they look absolutely radiant with olive green
 
Interests:
Books

Computer

Games

Computer Games

That pretty much sums it up.
 
Notes:Very creative, to the point that he can create an entire D&D scenario with backstory, characters, and a choreographed battle without using a guide. Is a loyal and enthusiastic Cub Scout, although has managed to skip every hike so far. Admires his older sister's writing, is nice(r) to his younger sister, and thinks his little brother is very cute except when said brother erases all his progress on a PlayStation game.

Recommendation: Outgrew current age level long ago. Upgrade recommended.

Happy birthday, Stuart! You keep things lively and geeky!

We love you -- SJ, DJ, AMJ, DMJ, PGJ

Screenshot by Stuart

Kid Bits

We usually split our family into two sections: the Bigs and the Littles. At the rate they're all growing, we'll soon have the Bigs and the Also Bigs.

**
Shortly after Phillip's birthday, I asked him, "How old are you?" He replied, "Twenty-two." And that's what he replies to any kind inquiries of his age now.

But if family asks how old he is, now he just blows a raspberry.

**
I was reciting everyone's full name to Pip. When I got to Darren's, Daphne chimed in: "Daddy's middle name is my birth month!" Phillip was eager to be funny too, and burst out: "Daddy Jones Month!"

**
Darren and I were catching up when he got home from work. It's an activity that never fails to attract kids, who notice that both Conversation and Affection are being generated and shouldn't they have a share in that? So we were talking over the day, and heard Daphne behind us: "Um, hey Mama and Daddy?"

Sigh. "Yes, Daphne?"

"Ummm.... I just wanted to tell you about how superliquids are different from regular liquids. Because in a superliquid, all the atoms flow in the same direction. In a regular liquid, they flow in any direction."

We thanked her for the knowledge (completely new knowledge, in my case). The child reads science books, yes.

**
 Addi got her ears pierced for her birthday. She chose the biggest, sparkliest studs available. It required a consent waiver that I had to sign in four different places. I had no idea that ear-piercing was such a risky undertaking.

**
Stuart had spent a while reading some of the back copies of the blog (I got bound copies of nearly every year). He remarked to me later, "I think you and Daddy have done a great job of raising me." Aww, sweet boy, we'll just settle for not giving you therapy material later in life.

-- SJ

Thrift Store Treasures and Trials

This morning, the kids decided to launch a concerted campaign to get to the nearby thrift store. The store has a great racket going: the volunteers bag up random toys that they don't want to price individually. They write "Grab Bag" on the outside, price them $1 for big bags and $.50 for small ones, and sit and wait for the Joneses to come.

The kids dashed around the house, making cleaning offerings to appease the household god ("Look how clean the living room is, Mama!") Addi eagerly finished her math lesson. They scavenged up three dollars. Meanwhile, I realized I had a big load that needed to go to the thrift shop. In the end, it all worked in their favor: we got in the van and went.

But a terrible discovery awaited them. The price of the grab bags was doubled. Now it was $2 for a big bag, $1 for a small bag. It was unfair! It was monstrous! "It's life," I said. Fortunately, there was enough change among them to get a big bag and a small bag.

Back home, the four of them sorted through their loot. It included several Mardi Gras necklaces and three plastic eye patches. For a while, there were several pirates rushing around saying, "Arrrghh, mateys!" When Pip finally got ahold of an eye patch, he strapped it over his nose and ran around shouting, "Raarrgg, babies!"


After some obligatory fights over toys that they forgot about within twenty minutes, the household is now content.

-- SJ

Kid Bits

Addi
We were being silly, and Darren indicated that Addi and Stuart were nitwits. Addi leaped to her feet, assumed fighting stance, and warned, "One of these 'nitwits' packs a pretty powerful punch."

Darren replied, "One of them is pretty, and packs a powerful punch."

Addi dropped her fists. "Now, that's just disarming!" she said, flopping on the couch.

Stuart
This blog is no longer my own. Well, technically, it never was only mine; it's Darren's too. But now I've got kid fans. Not only do they monitor my posts ("Is it a Mundania? No! It's a Kid Bits! Yay!"), but they suggest material for me to post.

"Why don't you post that I'm really into wikis now?" said Stuart. It's true. He spends hours on wiki pages for his favorite PopCap games, laboriously typing descriptions of new characters and settings and, for all I know, recipes. But I replied,

"Why would I post that?"

"Because it's a 'Kid Bits,' and you want to tell your friends about us, and that's about me."

Hm, that's a valuable insight into how the kids view Mama's and Daddy's Friends.

Daphne
Welcoming the beautiful, warm spring weather, Daphne is celebrating by wearing leotards everywhere again.

Phillip
Pip has been putting words together for a while now, but today when I got his tricycle out for him, I heard the first complete sentence: "Yay! Mama help Pip! Yay!"

**
He came dancing into the kitchen today and announced, "Bad Pip!"

"Why are you bad? What have you been doing?"

"Toothpaste."

Darren cleaned up the toothpaste mess, which involved the sink, floor, laundry, and chair. He told Phillip, "NO play with toothpaste." Pip replied cheerily, "Sowwy."

Now the children imagine all of Mama's and Daddy's Friends sitting back with a sigh of satisfaction, having reached the end of another Kid Bits.

-- SJ

Mundania 35

I've been using Blog2Print to compile the last seven years of our life in book form. The program is a little tedious to work with -- especially the photos on the front cover; apparently you can't choose "blank." But for the most part, I'm very pleased with how the books turned out. I ordered the soft cover, black-and-white pages, and it looks really good. Even the photos came out nicely. The most I've spent on one book is $45, and I consider it entirely worth the money to have my blog resting safely in my hands.

***
It's been happening so gradually that I didn't notice it for a while. In fact, a few years ago, I was sure it would never, ever happen to us. But it has: my kids are getting really big. We ran out of seating in our living room.

The Old Couch, which we "stored" for the Hall Family for, oh, ten years. It was a great couch.

The "New" Couch, which we got from Salvation Army in September. It was comfortable and looked nice, in a too-small kind of way.

So Darren and I took the plunge and bought a brand-new spiffy reclining sectional couch. All kids can fit on it. They were so thrilled that it took fully seventeen minutes before they started bickering about who was touching whom.

The Brand-New Couch, delivered this morning. THIS is room for the whole family! Good thing we don't need too much living room at the same time. Okay, okay, I know you want to linger here and gaze at the couch, the new curtains, and the fresher wall color. But let's move on.

***
My mother-in-law is the patient recipient of daily phone calls from Daphne. She's a good sport, playing along with Daphne's favorite "kitty" game. This morning, however, she decided to try her hand at taking the lead in pretending:

"How about Nana Kitty and Daphne Kitty have a race to the slide?" Nana suggested. "Okay, we're running now!" (Nana made "bumpa bumpa" noises with her voice. Daphne, on the other hand, loudly whapped a book to simulate HER stride.) "We're almost there! Nearly there! Oh! And Daphne Kitty wins!"

"Yay!" said Daphne. "I won!"

"Good job! You beat Nana Kitty by about four steps."

"Yes!" Daphne agreed. "And I was only running on three legs!"

***

Daphne currently has a crush on the moon. (Or, I should say, it's a phase she's going through...) She was looking through a calendar that gave moon phases, and now chatters about crescents and gibbous and full moons. Somewhere along the line she discovered the concept of a Blue Moon, that is, two full moons in one month. Furthermore, the next Blue Moon is in August, her birthmonth. And in 2018, there will be two Blue Moons in the year! I don't think I'm communicating the depth of excitement and fascination going on here. Suffice to say that after a day's conversation with Daphne, this song is running a path through my head:



***

According to Addi: Since a new moon is the opposite of a blue moon, then two new moons in one month should be called an Orange Moon.

***
Stuart has joined cub scouts. He's taken to it as if it's been the desire of his heart ever since, I don't know, birth. His Webelos II troop has just formed patrols. He came home and said that their patrol name is The Dancing Bananas. He wasn't thrilled with the choice, but if he'd been in charge, he'd have probably named it The Protoss Zerglings of Terran. That's from Starcraft, for the 98% of the population who doesn't know that. At least most people have some idea of what a Dancing Banana would look like.

***
Stuart doesn't like it when we say he likes Starfall instead of Starcraft.

-- SJ

GWL Pictures

Here are pictures (see, see, Deidre!) to go along with the post below.


The indoor water park was a grand place. This doesn't show the wave pool or any of the slides.


Happy kids with some of their new Stuff: Great Wolf Lodge wolves, a dragon, and a dragon cape.


Happy Darren, who planned this getaway and had the satisfaction of watching his whole family enjoy it.

Happy Sara, so glad to be somewhere fun in February that she didn't even mind having Medusa hair the whole time, due to letting it air dry.


We offered Pip some good, nourishing, yummy lunch. Here, he thinks he's hiding as he eats the Special Vacation Cereal Lucky Charms instead.



Gearing up for "the beach," as Pip referred to it.


Happy big kids at "the beach."

Mundania 34

In November, I complained about stores opening at midnight on Thanksgiving. In December, I wrote letters to three stores that affected people I personally know: Target, Kohl's, and Best Buy. And then I mailed them!

Yesterday.

In February.

But at least I actually sent them.

***

Daphne is the only kid not sick this week. Well, she's the only kid not reporting sickness. Addi's sickness seems to wane and wax depending on how real the possibility of school is. At any rate, Daphne finds it a burden to be the only healthy child. She is weary of doing "all the work," which to date consists of:

A. Fetching a book
B. Fetching a towel

Today when she was fighting Pip for territory on a mattress, she said belligerently, "Life was easier before we had Pip!" Then she waited. She knew she'd uttered fightin' words.

I replied, "Yes, it was. Think we should get rid of him?"

No, she didn't think so. But still.

I added, "My life was a lot easier before I had all you children."

She waited, wide-eyed, wondering exactly what was coming next.

"Should I get rid of y'all? No. It's better to have children than have an easy life."

She relaxed. Of course it was better! "Because now you have us to talk to you!" she agreed.

***
Stuart participated in his first Pinewood Derby for scouts last weekend. His car came in at #31 out of 36. That's translated as "not last place," so he was happy.

***
Last Saturday, the birthday money I'd carefully hoarded together was starting to smolder. So I took Addi with me to blow it all at Coldwater Creek. I still love the clothes I bought there about a year ago. We walked into the store -- you know, where a shirt can cost $50 -- and I realized that Addi was wearing the leopard-print fake-fur coat she likes so much.

The clerks greeted us, and complimented Addi on her coat. "Thanks!" she said. "I got it for $1 at a yard sale! Can you believe it?"

***
Stuart was lolling around on my lap, for which he is entirely to big, and pretending to bonk my head. Pip looked up and said, "No, Zhu-zhu! Pup's mama!"

-- SJ

Mundania 33

Today was the March for Life in D.C. Darren has attended the last four or five years, but had pretty much decided to sit this one out. Until Addi informed him last week at church that she was planning to go in with him.

So, complete with a new umbrella and backpack, she walked with Darren. She held a sign that she'd gotten from someone else ("I am the pro-life generation") and apparently thoroughly enjoyed herself. It's possible that Darren was pretty proud to have his daughter at his side.

**
Oh, right, the backpack. I mentioned the backpack on Facebook, and forty-one of you liked it. Forty-one! I was exclaiming over the number, and Addi agreed that it was a big number "... for one of your posts. I mean, I bet rock stars get forty-one Likes in an hour." Thanks for the perspective adjustment there, darling.

Here's the post that so many people Liked:

Addi needed a new backpack for her library books. I found an LL Bean one for $7. I figured we could overlook the fact that it's already monogrammed. Until we all realized that the monogram "ALB" obviously stands for "Addi's Library Bag." A happy accident that makes me smile every time I look at the backpack.

**
Pip has come a long way since his second birthday (in June) when he could say two words: Mama and Dada. Now he says quite a lot, and some of it is even understandable. Most of his conversation deals with choo-choos, for which he has a deep and abiding love. He watches me put together puzzles, and remarks that the linked pieces are "choo-choos." He also loves "twucks." He also loves starting his own Netflix shows, usually ones that deal with choo-choos and twucks.

But the single most important concept in Phillip's life is: turns. More specifically, his turn. It's his one weapon of power against three older siblings. In Pip's world, it's always "Pup's tuhn."

**
For Christmas, we got Daphne a tea set made up of real, mismatched dishes from the thrift store. It turned out to be hard to find a good time for a tea party because it is, after all, always Pip's turn to have the teapot. So most nights a week, Daphne and I have a tea party before bed. We take turns being the shopkeeper and customer in a magic tea shop, where you can get any kind of tea you think of. There's a set script, and she and I have a good time trading roles. For the record, Daddy also has tea parties with her, following the same script, but he forgets to be charmed with the experience.

**
While Darren and Addi were at the March for Life, and while it was Pip's turn at the computer, Stuart and Daphne and I held a simplified D&D campaign. As usual, I struggled to keep all the numbers in order. But Stuart didn't mind, because while I was trying to keep straight which dice scored damage and which one to use for a difficulty check, Stuart's creativity was on a joyride. "I yank off the spider's leg to use as a club!" "You can't carry around a spider's leg! Look, okay, you can have the spider's fang. It's poisonous." "Yeah! So it gives extra poison damage, right?" Or, "You've defeated the evil skeleton!" "Yeah! Awesome! I take one of its bones to use as a club!" He scored a pretty good shot on a dragon when he set an arrow on fire, attached it to a shovel, and whacked the ice dragon's underbelly with it. It's a wild ride through a labyrinth with Stuart.

Daphne participated, too. Mostly she was pleased that her character name was her birthstone, Peridot, and that she paid 50 gold pieces for a horse halfway through.

***
Darren got me some chocolate wine for my birthday (in two days). It's good.

Christmas 2011

We're sticklers for tradition, so here we're posting pictures of grinning children opening gifts. Well, to be technical about it, it's the grandparents who are the sticklers for this annual ritual. We're happy to oblige, though.

Gathered 'round the Christmas tree. This was the year that Christmas dawned on Phillip, and it was a beautiful thing.


Stuart, whose gifts now double as Fun For Daddy.


Daphne, thrilled to get a diary from Aunt Lindsay, completely oblivious to the fact that she can't write anything except her name.

Addi got a mug-decorating kit from our neighbors, the Shaws, and forgot about her other presents as she lost herself in Art. This picture also shows Addi's great change as of a week ago: she got all her long hair cut off.

Oh, Pip was all about opening presents. He got a stack of new books and (in this picture) two new cars for his Thomas Train collection.

Fun times with Playdough! Please note that while I was doing this, and Darren was helping Addi assemble one of her presents, our own gifts lay unopened under the tree. I never realized just how deeply the sacrifices of parenthood could cut.


The three older kids have formed a "snuggi club" now that they all have blankets with arms. Here they are in the pose entitled "Stockings, Before."

And Stockings, After.

Pip's godmother will be pleased to see him mastering the art of Pez.

Computers need Christmas joy, too. Right?

My favorite gift from Darren was this set of hand-made bowls. Even better, the hands that made them belong to my good friend Deidre (Pip's aforementioned godmother).


I am continually amazed at the beautiful work Deidre turns out. As you can imagine, these dishes make food taste worlds better.


This red-bearded man needed a new necklace -- the other one, like so many before it, fell under the onslaught of a toddler -- so I got him this one from an Etsy shop. It's silver with a wood inlay, and I think it's pretty snazzy.

Gifts, laughter, and joy: makes for a good celebration of the Incarnation of God. Merry Christmas, y'all.

-- SJ

Family Picture 2011

Almost all of us don't look goofy!

Top Nine Things to Know About Stuart

1. He was born after twelve hours of labor and a c-section. When they took him out to the nursery, Darren followed. He got to hold him and talk to him for the first half-hour of his life. When I woke up in recovery, Darren was there to tell me that our new son had blond hair and toes just like Addie's.

2. As soon as he learned to smile, he found the world very, very funny. He would sneeze, and then laugh.

3. His loud and sunny personality was the best thing that ever happened to silent, skittish Addie.

4. He has a massive gag reflex. He has been known to throw up just thinking about something gross.

5. He's a gaming geek already. He plays D&D, wants to play Warhammer, and reads up on Wizard 101 so he can coach us as to the best strategies.

6. He was disappointed in the fourth and fifth Harry Potter movies because they left out "the best parts": the Nifflers and Flobberworms and other random background creatures.

7. He can multiply two digits by two digits in his head.

8. He thinks much more deeply than his oblivious, happy-go-lucky demeanor suggests.

9. Today he turns nine years old! He's improved our Thanksgiving celebrations dramatically ever since his arrival.




We love you, Stuart!

-- SJ, DJ, AMJ, DMJ, PGJ

Three Rings of Four Kids

A ring of four kids (2011):



Same kids, different ring, different time (2010):



The Ring of Four Kids started here. How times change! (2009)

Kid Logic

Look closely at this keyboard. Notice anything?


This is what happens when your kids think your dana doesn't work anymore, and also discover that the keys pop off easily. As Stuart said, "I don't see why the guy made the letters on the keyboard out of order in the first place."

-- SJ

Collection of Pictures

In no particular order, as usual:


For those who missed every single Facebook post from every single person on the East Coast this weekend, we got an early snow. Our neighborhood was lucky: we didn't lose power. But my neighbor lost her Bradford pear. We're calling it "the banana tree" because of the way it peeled itself off its trunk. Ha ha! We can laugh because it's not in our front yard.



Here's a shot of our cozy, snow-covered house. Except that we weren't ready for cozy, snow-covered weather so it wasn't as charming as it looks.



On the other hand, unseasonable snow goes away quickly, as soon as seasonable weather returns. This was all that was left in our yard the next afternoon: the kids' "Snow Crow" -- a scarecrow made of snow.

And more importantly, the snow went away in time for Halloween. The next few pictures were taken last week, when Mom and I finished the kids' costumes in record time.

Here's Stuart, dressed -- obviously! -- as a Golden Snitch from Harry Potter. The Snitch is a small golden ball in the game of Quidditch. If the Seeker catches it during the game, his team automatically gets 150 points. It's very characteristic of Stuart to want to be the actual ball instead of the player who tries to catch it.

All three in their Halloween finery: Daphne is a Kitty, Stuart is a Golden Snitch, and Addie is an Auror, also from Harry Potter. Aurors are like the Wizarding Secret Police, who go after the really bad guys.


Back view, just to show off these amazing costumes. They are amazing, because Mom and I put them together in a weekend. Note Mom's handiwork with the reflective duct tape on Addie's Auror cloak. (Pip didn't have a costume. He ended up getting quite enough candy on Halloween anyway.)



Oh, and then there's the whole reason we had to scramble to get costumes ready at the last minute: the fact that I spent most of the month on a mattress in the dining room with 102-degree fever. This is why my mother bought a one-way ticket and came 1000 miles to my home.

-- SJ

Welcome To Hogwarts

HI! This is Katie. I'm doing a guest blog post. Isn't that cool? You'll probably like it if you like Harry Potter, and I'm sure you'll like it if you're a grandparent. ;) Click on the links to see pictures.

Addie and Stuart just read the Harry Potter series. We've been talking about HP non-stop. It's been very fun to have four other people in the same house to talk about it with.

The other day Stuart said, "I wish I could take a Care Of Magical Creatures class...HEY! We should play Harry Potter!" And so began the wand carving and spell list studying. We even made our own quills. Stuart taught C.O.M.C. outside, where he invented a new creature called Bloofies (bright colored fuzzy craft pom-poms). He had their diet, special abilities, and other aspects all laid out (which we wrote down.) Addie took over Charms. Then I taught Potions, which involved baking soda and vinegar along with other ingredients, and Arithmancy. The neighbors, Mollie and Evan, showed up with magic books and their own wands. Mollie (who acts and looks strikingly like my idea of book-Hermione, and a younger version of me) taught Divinations, DADA, and Transfiguration. Aunt Sara taught Ancient Runes (It was a very detailed, FUN lesson. She said it was an intro to dungeons and dragons, of a sort). We played this game for days, all morning. It's the most fun I've had in years. All the kids agreed, obviously. And here's a cute picture of a girl with her wand. Don't cross her. :)

An addition to the post-

I'm having a wonderful visit and I love spending time with my Aunt Sara. My cousins are cute and funny and Uncle Darren is very nice and soft-spoken, as always. However, Aunt Sara is who I love talking to. :) I don't want to leave.

Also- WE HAD AN EARTHQUAKE TODAY AND I WAS REALLY EXCITED. (I'm beginning to wonder if I have some strange affinity with natural disasters...)

7 Quick Takes, August 12, 2011

This post is from Darren, not Sara. Just so everyone knows not to expect brilliant writing on the internal workings of our family :)

1. Yesterday Stuart decided to clean his room. When Stuart gets going on cleaning, he's really good and efficient at it. He even got the vacuum cleaner out on his own initiative and vacuumed the room.

Later, Sara went to use the vacuum. It didn't suck anything up. After watching her poke around it for a while in increasing frustration, Stuart commented, "Oh, sorry about vacuuming up the sock." Sure enough. There was a sock in it.

In an amazing display of restraint, Sara did not make Stuart eat the sock.

2. I am bad about working on Scripture memory, but I realized the other night when I couldn't get to sleep that I needed to start memorizing a passage. So I've started on Ephesians 2 (because I like 2:8-9 so much). Paul needed classes in how to use periods. That's my opinion, anyway.

3. Daphne has started having difficulty staying in her room when it's bedtime. She's such a people person that she hates being all by herself for the 45 minutes it takes her to fall asleep.

4. I found this post by John Wright called "Harry Potter and the Christian Magicians" fascinating. I'm not one who's particularly attracted to the occult, even though I read a lot of fantasy, but I agree with him that I don't just laugh off the idea. I did appreciate his viewpoint of modern paganism as essentially technological, rather than mystical.

5. Sara and I had a visit recently with a young person who is trying to find his place in God's will. A lot of it was just listening. After he left, Sara and I agreed that we both kept wondering if we'd said the right things, and even more importantly, whether he really heard anything that we said. I feel much more confident giving legal advice than life advice. As convoluted as the law can be, it's nothing compared to the intricacy of navigating your 20s.

6. This week I've been listening to a CD class on detective fiction. After the St. Thomas Aquinas class, this one seems pretty lightweight. There's not much analysis of the books, but it's an interesting introduction. I've picked up a couple recommendations. I was disappointed that in the lecture on police procedurals, the professor didn't mention Dell Shannon. I really enjoy her books.

7. NPR had a poll recently where people could vote for the top 10 best fantasy/science fiction books. They released the list of the top 100 this week. Here are my comments on the top 10:

1. The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkien. Yes. Absolutely.
2. The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams. It should be in the top 10, but I can't stand it. Or the sequels.
3. Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card. This is one of my all-time favorites. I actually don't much like Card's other books, but this one is amazing.
4. The Dune Chronicles, by Frank Herbert. Many people noted, and I agree, that if this is just Dune, the first book, it gets high billing (in fact, I'd rate it #2 probably). But the sequels are dumb.
5. A Song Of Ice And Fire Series, by George R. R. Martin. Too grim for me, at least the first time I tried.
6. 1984, by George Orwell. See my comments to #2. Good book, glad I read it, don't plan to read it again until the kids are in high school and I read it with them.
7. Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury. Never read it.
8. The Foundation Trilogy, by Isaac Asimov. Definitely belongs in the top 10. See my comments on Dune - I didn't like the sequels or attempted prequels to this one at all.
9. Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley. I've never read this one. Not a big fan of dystopias.
10. American Gods, by Neil Gaiman. I've never read this one either, but it's on my list now.

And that's it for today. More 7 Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.

--DJ

From the Archives

A few years ago, I tried my hand at an anonymous blog. Most of my readers were people I borrowed from a friend who also has an anonymous blog. It was fun because I could write with more abandon; it was too much work because this is the blog where my heart is.

Here are a few posts I wrote at the time, in 2008. I just rediscovered them and they made me laugh. Addie (Ladybug) was 6; Stuart (Titan) was 5; and Daphne (Dilly) was one and a half. Darren is August, and I am Mairzy.

Sickness -- Hurray!
Ladybug is sick again. She's lying on the couch having the stomach-bug equivalent of a celebratory party.

"Ooohh!" (Moaning with her eyes closed, but checking our reaction through a tiny slit of eye.) "I'm really, really sick. I need to go to the hospital!"

"You don't have a fever, honey. You're not sick enough to go the hospital."

"I AM sick enough! I won't last the night! Tomorrow you won't have me with you anymore!"

"Would you like some water? And I'll pray for you."

"I won't last the the night, I tell you!"

Daddy prays for her, during which she moans pathetically. Then he announces it's storytime (the usual bedtime routine). Ladybug moans louder.

"I won't last through storytime!"

At August's request, I'm going to Google the symptoms of appendicitis. But we think that involves a fever and pain, not an upset stomach and a dramatic six-year-old.

***

Food Fights

I thoroughly enjoy cooking, but I'm not a "foodie." When I get in the kitchen to create, I make good, familiar food: Italian, barbecue, and close enough to authentic Southern to taste good but not actually kill you. I don't often branch out into exotic dishes that involve, say, eggplant and saffron.

The other day, I was feeling bold and creative. I found a bottle of red cooking wine in our pantry. (Surely this gives you an idea of how unsurprising my cooking is, if red wine is a daring choice.) I made up a red-wine-honey-rosemary sauce, poured it over chicken breasts, and let it simmer. August, I knew, would be most impressed.

My children were not. Ladybug wandered into the kitchen and wrinkled her nose. "What do I SMELL?" I am still training my children that criticizing Mama's cooking is walking really close to the death penalty. I snapped, "It's not for you. I'm cooking broccoli for you and Titan." They love broccoli (bragging here) with butter and dill weed.

Not deflected, Ladybug wailed, "It smells like mud soup!"

"Get out of the kitchen."

A few minutes later, as the savory aroma and red wine and rosemary filled the kitchen, Titan ran through.

A word about Titan. He's lucky that he isn't known on this blog as "Upchucky." This child has always had a massive gag reflex. Before Titan was born, I had a horror of vomit. Thanks to him, that's a fear I've confronted and conquered. It's getting better as he gets older, but I'm looking forward to turning the care and cleaning of him over to his wife.

So, Titan ran through the kitchen. "Something smells bad!" he wailed.

"Go out of the kitchen!"

Titan clapped a hand over his nose, ran into the back room with the new carpet, and... threw up.

So the chicken almost burned while I desperately scrubbed regurgitated goldfish crackers from the new carpet (vinegar and water does the trick). I saved supper in time for August to come home and say, "Mm, something smells good!"

I banged a few pans around. Meanwhile, Ladybug strolled in. "Do you smell that, Daddy? What we're having for supper is broccoli and something that won't taste very good."

August made Ladybug apologize to me. The next night I made pizza

Bitter Cold

It was cold today. Anytime we had to go out, we rushed as quickly as possible to the next available shelter. At church we all looked at each other and shivered and said, "It's bitter outside!"

This afternoon, we got an email from August's grandmother in Canada. "I remember the day your dad was born," she wrote (it being my father-in-law's birthday). "It was 22 degrees below freezing on the Fahrenheit scale."

August and I looked at each other and shivered and said, "It was 20 degrees ABOVE freezing today." That's a forty-degree difference. That's the difference between 70 and 30. Between spring and winter.

Suddenly I feel like going outside and sunbathing on the trampoline.

-- SJ

Birth Story Haikus

If you read the subject title three or four times, thinking, "Whaaa...?!" while your flight instinct kicks in, probably this doesn't qualify as "fun" for you. You may be excused.

As a mother, I am interested in others' birth stories, and I like telling mine. I can't help it. Giving birth was an event that changed me and introduced me to a brand-new person... on four different occasions. You just don't shrug something like that off.

As a writer, I'm all for well-edited stories. Birth stories can go on entirely too long, with entirely too much detail. There's also no natural stopping place: once you've finished the first birth story, you can't help but move to the second. And third. And beyond.

Conversion Diary offers a balance between the mother and the writer: birth stories in haiku. (Syllable count is 5-7-5, if you need reminding.) This way you can capture the highlights of each birth and still have friends after you're done.

Here are my four. Possibly too much information for some, but I did try to keep it readable:

Baby #1
Married for nine months.
First labor’s always long, right?
Four and a half hours!

Baby #2
This one will be fast!
Oops, sunny-side-up baby.
Twelve hours and section.

Baby #3
All set for VBAC
Midwife feels baby’s bottom
Breech! Section again.

Baby #4
Scheduled c-section
Peaceful, joking with doctors.
Three happy siblings.

-- SJ

Please! You do it too! (And dads can contribute too. I think I'll get Darren to compose an ode to the poison ivy on his hands, right where I was squeezing during Baby #1.)

New Camera, New Pictures

Posted in no particular order, captioned with no particular brilliance.

Harvesting honeysuckle. A sweet piece of childhood.


Digging trenches in the backyard. A less charming piece of childhood.




One husband at work, the other husband out of town... so Nina and I took our six kids out for ice cream. We've come a long way since the summer of 2002, when we each had one toddler.


Initiation into the Rite of Honeysuckle



Addie enjoying the scenery around the neighborhood.




Friendly self-service!


Artist's vision of our D&D characters -- Dirk, Armoren, Rapiera, Calla... and Kitty.




Bye, y'all!


-- SJ

Kid Bits

Playing Wizard 101:

Addie: "Oh, those Fire Elves! I can think of several other names for them!"
Stuart: "Like what?"
Addie: "Nuisance, Aggravation, Irritating Elves... that's several names."
Stuart: "Oh, I thought you meant like 'Bob.'"

***
Daphne has realized that she doesn't pronounce her R's correctly. So she's giving herself intense speech therapy, practicing words like "more" and "four" and "girl." It's working.

***
A couple of weekends ago, Chick-Fil-A advertised a "mother-son date night." I liked the idea because it would be a one-on-one event with Stuart. He liked the idea because it was Chick-Fil-A.

We dressed nicely and drove over to the restaurant (I'd called ahead to reserve our spot). We got our picture with the Chick-Fil-A cow, sat at a table with a blue (plastic) tablecloth and a small flower in a vase, and were served our meal. A magician came around to each table to perform funny tricks -- he was a little alarmed that Stuart laughed so hard he had to have his inhaler.

Stuart and I played Connect Four and a Whack-A-Mole card game while eating, and then Stuart got his face painted. He asked for a crocodile, and the lady painted the croc's mouth around the corner of Stuart's -- so that when Stuart opened and closed his mouth, so did the crocodile. It was brilliant.

A good time was had by all. As parodist and comedian Tim Hawkins expresses, we love Chick-Fil-A.

***
Phillip has everything he needs for talking: inflection, body language, topic of conversation... everything except, you know, words. He's more interested in sounds, anyway. Particularly of the bodily type.

***
Addie wanted me to play Wizard tonight instead of working on the budget. She informed me that she'd found a note I'd obviously typed for myself. It was on the desktop on the computer, and said, "Note to self: play wizard 101 tonight." I replied that, despite the note to myself, I still needed to see to the budget. A few minutes later, she directed my attention to the note again. This time it said, "Note to self: play wizard 101 tonight. do budgeting tomorrow." What could I say? Obviously it was on my to-do list.

-- SJ