Thrift Store Treasures and Trials

This morning, the kids decided to launch a concerted campaign to get to the nearby thrift store. The store has a great racket going: the volunteers bag up random toys that they don't want to price individually. They write "Grab Bag" on the outside, price them $1 for big bags and $.50 for small ones, and sit and wait for the Joneses to come.

The kids dashed around the house, making cleaning offerings to appease the household god ("Look how clean the living room is, Mama!") Addi eagerly finished her math lesson. They scavenged up three dollars. Meanwhile, I realized I had a big load that needed to go to the thrift shop. In the end, it all worked in their favor: we got in the van and went.

But a terrible discovery awaited them. The price of the grab bags was doubled. Now it was $2 for a big bag, $1 for a small bag. It was unfair! It was monstrous! "It's life," I said. Fortunately, there was enough change among them to get a big bag and a small bag.

Back home, the four of them sorted through their loot. It included several Mardi Gras necklaces and three plastic eye patches. For a while, there were several pirates rushing around saying, "Arrrghh, mateys!" When Pip finally got ahold of an eye patch, he strapped it over his nose and ran around shouting, "Raarrgg, babies!"


After some obligatory fights over toys that they forgot about within twenty minutes, the household is now content.

-- SJ

Personality Quiz

Today you:

a. Had friends play at your house most of the day;
b. Went to a parade and waved at pretty much everybody who passed, including the tractors;
c. Had supper at friends' house, which was full of people, many of them young and loud;
d. Caught a fireworks show in the evening;
e. Ended the day energized and happy.

f. All of the above, especially E.

Score: If you chose F, you are the only extrovert in the family.

P.S. Your name is Daphne.

-- SJ

SH&SW: These Things Made Me Laugh

From Facebook:

Kimberly Knight Reed:
I have always wanted to be fluent in another language. And today- it happened. Somewhere between the store and my house, I started speaking a foreign language. I can tell bc my kids have no idea what I am saying. Otherwise I am sure I would not have to say "pick up your socks" or "throw away your trash" as loudly as I have been and as many times as I have.


***

From Pip (translated into modern English):
"Saw ladybug! Outside! Didn't talk to me. Have no mouth. Has ears."

***
From Daphne:
She traded a pencil sharpener with Addi. For some reason, she decided she wanted what used to be a small house in snow globe before Pip threw it and broke it. Now it's a little house on a pedestal. Compelled to mark every single incident of her life with commentary, Daphne said in a rapturous voice, "I always dreamed of having a broken snow globe with a little house on a standable!"

***

And from me. I really like my own jokes. To prevent little hands from stealing a notebook of mine, I wrote in silver paint pen: "Sara's Notebook. Touch it and you'll be eating green bean smoothies for LIFE!"

Daphne, inspired, had me write on hers: "Daphne's Notebeook. Touch it and you'll be eating tomato cookies for LIFE!"

Addi, who is less inclined to flights of fancy, labeled hers: "Addi's Notebook. Don't touch it or you'll get the silent treatment for life." Which she probably would prefer from the majority of the planet.

I used most of my notebook up. So I got a new one yesterday. I labeled it in flowing letters, "Mama's Notebook of Beautiful Thoughts." The only thing I've written in it so far is a grocery list, which isn't very lyrical. But the handwriting looks nice.

-- SJ

SH&SW: Householdy Charm

The title is a play on a remark by a character in Harry Potter #5. Tonks tries to pack Harry's trunk with a wave of her wand and fails. She explains, "I was never good at all those householdy charms like my mum." And women everywhere thought, "Hey, let me have a try at those householdy charms! I NEED those!"

But I don't have them. So I have to use, for instance, a vacuum cleaner. However, I often sweep my carpet instead of vacuuming the whole area. That way I can make four or five little trash piles, then turn the 2- or 5-year-old loose with the vacuum hose. It's satisfying all around.

In news of household residents, Daphne had me tape her balloon string to a stick. She jerked it around a while and realized she could whap the balloon with the stick.

Daphne: Hey, Mama! I bet you can't guess what the name of my new game is!
Me: Um, Bump the Balloon.
Daphne: No! 'Hit The Balloon With The Stick'! But you were close. I'm on Level 10 already."

-- SJ

Love, Sara

Dear myfitnesspal.com,

DJ and I really like your site. It's useful. It's cheerful ("If every day were like today, you'd weigh X in 5 weeks!"). It has an extensive database of foods and exercises.


Only a couple of tweaks will make it even better. For instance, in addition to the "Food Diary" page, you should have another one entitled, "Foods I DIDN'T Eat Diary." That way I could record when I didn't eat pizza when the kids did, or a blueberry muffin, or Darren could input when he DIDN'T stop in at Chick-Fil-A. This feature would vastly improve our experience. Thank you.

Love, Sara.

**
Dear New Van,

We're working hard to come up with a name for you. Top runner is "Isabella." Because our other car is, you know, Ferdinand.

Love, Sara.

**
Dear myfitnesspal.com,

Oh, and your exercise database is helpful, but seeing as it's user-created, I'm surprised there aren't more entries like, "Housework (broke a sweat) -- 70 calories burned" or "Pulled kids in wagon around bumpy backyard -- 90 calories burned."

Love, Sara.

**
Dear Doting Parents,

If your last name is Box, and you adore the name Paisley, you maybe ought to reconsider using the middle name Olivia. Remember, initials matter!

Love, Sara.

**
Dear myfitnesspal.com,

Or how about, "Tore apart son's broken headboard and dragged it all out into the garage -- 110 calories burned." Or here's a good one, can't believe nobody put it in, "Walked around block with 5-year-old on bicycle going as fast as she could, and let me tell you, that's some serious walking. -- 95 calories burned."

Love, Sara.

**
Dear New Van,

Oh, how about something more whimsical? Like Queen? Or Fairy? Or Unicorn? I like Unicorn! Only, traditionally a unicorn would approach only virgin women, which is entirely the wrong idea for a minivan.

Love, Sara.

**
Dear myfitnesspal.com,

No need to be snippy.  I know I can add whatever exercises I want to the database. I was just surprised that, of all the thousands of users you boast, evidently nobody does any housework or plays with their kids. That's not my fault, you know. Don't be so cranky. I think you might need to get something more to eat.

Love, Sara.

7 Quick Takes, May 4, 2012

-- DJ

1. Iron Man – awesome movie. Robert Downey, Jr. is perfect as Tony Stark.

2. The Incredible Hulk – meh. Nice climactic fight, and the cameo by Stan Lee is funny, but otherwise kind of boring.

3. Iron Man 2 – liked it, but not as good as the first. Stark’s testimony before Congress is hysterically funny.

4. Thor – fun movie with lots of cool images, but not a very complex plot.

5. Captain America – loved this one! Great WWII footage and costumes, and Steve Rogers’ character as a patriot and protector really shines through.

6. Avengers – Joss Whedon is the master. This was a fantastic movie, with a TON of great superhero fights, and a wonderful climax. Especially loved Captain America as the mature older leader.

7. In other news, I went to the Avengers marathon last night and watched the movies in points 1-6. I’m tired now, but it was great!

More at Conversion Diary.

Sh&Sw 2: 1200 Calories

Darren and I are tracking our calories to get our eating under control. (It's odd, from a historical perspective, that we are so well off that we have to train ourselves to eat less.) On the one hand, it's a lot more fun working on it together. On the other hand, it's no fun whatsoever to be the female half of the team. You know how many calories Darren gets in a day? Hm, let's see... he considers 750 for lunch to be a good target. That's more than half of my entire daily allowance. Not only is life unfair, but biology is too.

In fact, for the first two weeks on myfitnesspal.com, I ended each day nearly in tears. Even with walking or running a mile or two a day, I was still overshooting my goal. And it's not like I sat around eating candy bars and doughnuts all day.

Here's what has made a difference:

1. Darren's friend Maureen, who is helping keep him on track, wrote to me that "1200 calories can be a little food or a lot of food, depending on what you eat." She suggested lots of veggies... as in, entire packages of frozen vegetables. So I took her up on it, filling up my bowl with broccoli or soybeans and adding a bit of rice or cheese or chicken to make it more interesting. It works, it really does.

2. Tracking my calories is like budgeting: it shows up where I spend the most. In my case, it's snacks. I can eat 245 for breakfast, 312 for lunch, 390 for supper... and 500 for snacks. Getting the snack section under control has made it much easier to see green numbers at the end of the day.


The scale is consistently five pounds lower than it was a month ago, which is pleasing. Darren's progress is even more remarkable, because he's been disciplined, active, and because biology isn't fair.

-- SJ

KJV-free Devotions

It is my informed opinion that memorizing anything in the King James Version is like memorizing something from a random word generator. Examples:

"For even hereunto were ye called: Because Christ also suffered for us..." 

"And having made peace through the blood of His cross by Him to reconcile all things unto Himself; by Him, I say..." 

Go on, tell me how beautiful the language is. I'll reply, "Therefore have I also often hearkened unto even many who with great sincerity and earnestness did tell me that such language is even so thereunto beautiful and heretofore whenceforth did also sayeth, I say, unto him who believeth and yea, even unto the end Amen.

It's all cluttered up with words we don't use anymore, unless we happen to be quoting Shakespeare or, you know, the King James Version of the Bible. It drives me crazy. So what version of the Bible do I prefer to read? The easy answer is "New Living Translation." The absolutely honest answer, however, is: I don't read my Bible if I can help it.

I don't want to make a martyr out of myself and say that while others can overcome years of spiritual confusion and Biblical misuse, I can't. I also am not inviting advice as to how I can "get into the Word" and discover how comforting and beautiful it is. (Don't -- do NOT -- tell me to start with the Psalms because I can really see God's heart there.) The simple fact is that I don't like sitting down and reading passages of Scripture for a daily "quiet time."

Instead, the way I approach God is a way that, to me, is "non-traditional," although to the majority of the Christian world it's as familiar as Psalm 23. I use a prayer-book. The books I prefer are compiled by Phyllis Tickle, whose name never makes me giggle. The Divine Hours come in volumes for Autumn/Winter, Spring/Summer, and nighttime. I use whatever is handy, and don't really pay attention to the date of the prayer service I read. It's all good.

Below is a sample of one of the services, taken from the March section of the Spring/Summer book. (I printed this out for my Bible study, so I curtailed the Psalm and removed a prayer to make it fit on one page.) This is how I approach God. I thought if there happened to be any other people who possibly have a hard time reading their Bible but find it difficult to mention the problem among other Christians, this could help.

-- SJ

(Note: These services are responsive. When you see an asterisk, it indicates that the congregation says that portion back to the Reader.)

The Morning Office

To Be Observed on the Hour or Half Hour

Between 6 and 9 a.m.

The Call to Prayer

Come, let us bow down, and bend the knee,  *and kneel before the Lord our Maker.

For he is our God,  *and we are the people of his pasture and the sheep of his hand.  Ps. 95:6-7

The Request for Presence

So teach us to number our days *that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.  Ps 90:12

The Greeting

My God, my rock in whom I put my trust,  *my shield, the horn of my salvation, and my refuge; you are worthy of praise.  Ps 18:2

The Refrain for the Morning Lessons

My eyes are upon the faithful in the land, that they may dwell with me.  Ps 101:6

A Reading

Jesus taught us, saying, ³¹ “He has come from above and is greater than anyone else. We are of the earth, and we speak of earthly things, but he has come from heaven and is greater than anyone else.^{[i] 32} He testifies about what he has seen and heard, but how few believe what he tells them! ³³ Anyone who accepts his testimony can affirm that God is true. ³⁴ For he is sent by God. He speaks God’s words, for God gives him the Spirit without limit.”   John 3:31-34

The Refrain

My eyes are upon the faithful in the land, that they may dwell with me.   Ps 101:6

The Morning Psalm 

Ps 31:13-18

13 The Lord looks down from heaven, *

     and beholds all the people in the world.

14 From where he sits enthroned he turns his gaze *

     on all who dwell on the earth.

15 He fashions all the hearts of them *

     and understands all their works.

16 There is no king that can be saved by a mighty army; *

     a strong man is not delivered by his great strength.

17 The horse is a vain hope for deliverance; *

     for all its strength it cannot save.

18 Behold, the eye of the Lord is upon those who fear him, *

     on those who wait upon his love,

The Refrain

My eyes are upon the faithful in the land, that they may dwell with me.  Ps 101:6

The Cry of the Church

O God, come to my assistance! O Lord, make haste to help me!

The Lord’s Prayer

The Concluding Prayer of the Church

Lord God, almighty and everlasting Father, you have brought me in safety to this new day. Preserve me with your mighty power, that I may not fall into sin, nor be overcome by adversity; and in all I do direct me to the fulfilling of your purpose; through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen.