Tidbits

How to stretch your grocery bill, the easy way. Darren reported after his every-two-week grocery trip, "Addie said that I should have taken the van instead of Ferdinand. Then I could have bought four weeks' worth of groceries."

***
Darren asked, "Do you have the key to the church on your ring?"
I replied, "Yes. Jesus gave it to Peter, but he let me borrow it."

***
Darren and I were being mushy. I said, "I'm not sure I love you." I turned to Daphne. "Do I love Daddy?"

The kids aren't old enough to be embarrassed by mushiness and they love getting questions they know the answer to. "Yes you do!" said Daphne.

"Addie, do I love Daddy?"

"Yes."

"Stuart, I don't love Daddy, do I?"

Stuart smiled, "Yes, you do. And Daddy loves me!"

Some things don't change.

***
Thoughts on the passage in Luke about the the woman with the bleeding:

Jesus was moving through the crowd, among which was a woman who had been bleeding for years. She'd tried doctor after doctor, but had found no help. She said to herself, "If only I can touch Him -- just the hem of His garment, I can be healed!" She managed to get close enough to brush her fingers against his clothes, and felt within herself that she was healed.

Immediately Jesus turned around and said something that makes me laugh out loud. "Who touched me?"

His disciples, probably hot and sweaty from pushing through the throng around them, did not laugh out loud. They were a bit snappish. They said, "What do you mean, who touched you? Everybody's touching you!"

Jesus said, "No, I felt power go from me. Who touched me?"

So the woman came forward and confessed. He told her, "Your faith has healed you."

Like the disciples said, everybody was touching Jesus. There wasn't something especially magical about touching Him. The woman touched Him in faith, and she was the only one who felt His power.

I imagined myself in that crowd, jostled and pushed until I got to the front and brushed His arm. I touched Him! But what a disappointment. It was just like touching anybody. Nothing special. How disillusioning.

I often get frustrated that nothing "happens" when I'm around Jesus. Maybe I'm not touching in faith. Maybe I'm just rubbing up against Him hoping for some magic.

-- SJ

Out of the Closet

I could use your help here.

To begin with, having accepted my larger size, I've experienced unexpected liberation. No, not emotionally. Closetly.

Most of my clothes in my closet don't fit me. I stood and looked at all the dresses and shirts and pants I can't wear, and realized... I've been wearing these clothes for nearly a decade. They're a little raggedy (because I'm hard on my clothes). They're dated. I don't really like any of them. And now there's no reason to keep them.

Sure, once I start exercising again now that the weather is warm, I might get down to a smaller size. But after three c-sections, I'm beyond the days when I can wear long sheath dresses. The button-up shirts don't fit the Sara who has nursed four children. And low-rise pants on a pudgy waist? Simply asking for grief.

So I dragged it all out and piled it on my bedroom floor. Some I may consign, but the bulk of it is good only for Goodwill.

What this means, of course, is that I need a new wardrobe. I can justify buying new clothes. Oh woe is me!

I planned out what I need to buy. I figured out what the budget could allocate me per month. Now all I have to do is develop my long-dormant shopping gene.

Waiting.

I don't like to shop. I don't even shop for my kids: I send a check and list to my mother-in-law and she outfits my children every season. So while I'm waiting to get all fired up about buying clothes, does anybody have recommendations for where I can get GOOD ones? Clothes not made from polyester, with seams that won't ravel three days after I get it home? Especially dresses? Oh, and um... not too expensive?

Maybe if I get some good leads, my shopping gene will kick in and I'll launch out on a shopping spree. Live it up. Fling money around. Walk the mall. Shop till I drop.

Or maybe I'll just send a check to my mother-in-law.

-- SJ

Fun Sunday

Today was the first spring Sunday of the year. After this February, which lasted 38 years and dumped 25 feet of snow on us, a day like today was joy in weather form.

Ferdinand looks even brighter on the first spring Sunday.


It's spring, and the children were swarming. We figure if they get too bad, we'll smoke them out by chasing them with a burning chore list.


Our spring project is a container garden. Addie and I have been reading up on it for the last 67 days of February. (I really am including Addie: I checked out a book from the library, and Addie read it as thoroughly as I did. She referred to the author by his first name.)


Addie has filled the reservoir and checked the gauge and is feeling proud of herself.

Here's Daphne and me filling the new self-watering boxes with soil.
We planted lettuce, "yellow pear" tomatoes, bell peppers, carrots, and strawberries. Further bulletins if events warrant.


Addie captured on video how well her early crawling lessons paid off: here's Phillip (sort of) demonstrating his brand-new, acquired-this-evening skill of crawling. His incentive: getting to the way-cool bathtub.



Thanks for stopping by. Please don't mind if we hustle you out: there's homemade ice cream waiting for us. The only thing better than a spring Sunday is a spring Sunday in Lent.

-- SJ

Merry Christmas!

Darren's favorite Christmas present arrived today. Not that he was tracking it obsessively ever since it shipped on Wednesday. Not that the first thing he did with it, when he got it out and started it charging, was change the registration so that it no longer said "Sara's Kindle" and "Welcome, Sara!" (He'd ordered it from my account.)




He redeemed himself a moment later, however: his first download was "The Complete Works of Jane Austen."

Is there a support group for Kindle Widows and Orphans?

-- SJ

Some Quick Thoughts

The car is now named. Thanks to my erstwhile legal assistant Kelly for the choice of "Ferdinand." I'm not sure I could name it "Bumblebee," because my two middle children are terrified of bees.

Rachelle, I am rather worried about it being a cop magnet, as I tend to drive less conservatively than I did when a teenager (when my younger siblings would loudly count the cars that were lined up behind me waiting irritably for a chance to pass).

Kelly, the lawyer list is now updated regularly. I have that on good authority. :)

Miriam, great to hear from you! I love the name "Silver Fox" for a car.

J, re: your question on "Push" - I think it has to do with the Rule of Cool. Do Not Question, Merely Enjoy :)

I can't wait for Easter. As Stuart said, I'm bored with Lent.

--DJ

May I Please Be Fat?

I'm currently four jean sizes bigger than I was before Phillip was born. My waist measures an entire four inches larger than two years ago. According to my BMI (Body Mass Index) chart, I'm thirty pounds beyond my "ideal weight."

When I put on my larger-sized jeans, there are rolls on either side of the waistband. I had to buy a belt to keep my pants up. My shirts are too tight and my tummy pooches out.

Do you know why I'm writing all this? It's not a confession. It's not so maybe people will tell me I'm not so bad after all. Not even so I can see it in writing to motivate me to get rid of this fat.

No, I'm practicing not being ashamed of it.

The only reason I'm not listing actual weights and inches is because we all have differing body types. What is "overweight" for me would be a dream weight for someone else -- and practically obese for yet another person. (I once read a blog post where the author was lamenting that her jeans no longer fit, and she had to buy larger jeans... and then revealed that the "larger size" was a 6. No way am I destroying sympathy for my position like that.) (Not, by the way, that size 6 is even a blip on my wardrobe radar.)

Whatever my size, it's still the same in principle: I am fatter than I was four children ago.

In these same years, I've had four children; homeschooled two of them into third grade; set up a household budget that brought our monthly food bill down by $100 and paid off a $9,000 credit debt in one year; worked through spiritual and emotional issues; nourished a happy marriage; became better friends with my children; blogged faithfully; am exploring my way through a new fiction project... Despite all that, I'm supposed to be ashamed that I don't make time for 30 minutes of daily exercise. I also must castigate myself for being a sloppy portioner so I end up eating too much.

In all honesty, I do want to be smaller. Mostly because I can't fit into most of the clothes in my closet, and also because -- yes -- I don't want to keep adding inches to my waist. But I have a perfectly healthy and normal thirty-three-year-old body. In fact, when I look in the mirror and think, "My body isn't really that bad," I wonder if something is wrong with me that I'm not more ashamed of my size ** jeans..

Well, I'm tired of wondering. I'm overweight, and I might always be. I think my life can be rich and good anyway. I think I can even be attractive and fulfilled. So may I please be fat? I promise that if after death it turns out that my BMI is more important than how I spent my life, I'll let you know.

-- SJ

Thoughts inspired partially by posts here and here.

Lenten Prayers update

Over halfway through Lent, I've prayed faithfully (if not always enthusiastically) every night for all of y'all who sent me a request -- and some extras, too.

If there's anything to kill my communion with God, it's looking at a list of requests. I'm fine checking off items on my to-do list, but too often "prayer lists" end up feeling the same way.

I wanted to be able to touch the names I'm praying for. So I took some of the "currency" that I'm using for my co-op class (we refer to them as "Krizzies") and labeled each one:



Then I took the labeled Krizzies and filled a pretty ceramic jar with them. Each evening, I take them out one by one and pray for each person. I also arrange the Krizzies into cool designs:




If you asked me to pray for you, here's where I talk to Jesus about you:



What began as a Lenten discipline has turned into a pleasure. I don't enjoy fitting it into my day, and I always sigh deeply when I kneel at the altar. Halfway through, when I've stopped checking off items and am in communion with God, I've relaxed. When I reach into the jar and find that no names are left, I'm a little disappointed.

Thanks for sharing this Lent with me.

-- SJ

7 Quick Takes, March 12, 2010

From Conversion Diary’s regular feature Seven Quick Takes Friday.

1. The big news of the week is that we have a new YELLOW! car. It looks basically like the picture below, but with no black trim to set off the YELLOW! I’d love to have name ideas for it.

NOTE: All names suggestions including the word “lemon” will be automatically discarded :)

P.S. Did I mention it’s YELLOW!? Because it is.

2. A friend of mine who works at a Northern Virginia non-profit forwarded me the following story. It’s true; I’ve seen the original emails.
*******
April 7, 1999
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Doe:
These are several lawyers in your state that either we have worked with in the past or who have told us that they would be willing to help people in your situation.
[List attached, including lawyer French]
Sincerely,
My Friend
*******
April 8, 1999
Dear Mr. Friend:
I appreciate your response to our inquiry regarding assistance in our issue with Connecticut pertaining to my nephew's case. However, I need to bring you up to date regarding one of the lawyers you referred us to.

I am a Major in the Connecticut Department of Correction and I am personally acquainted with inmate French. It was just a couple months ago that Connecticut was treated to headline news about the "born again Christian lawyer" who was arrested for murdering his wife and two young children. Since being incarcerated awaiting trial on Capital Felony charges (potential death sentence here), he has been involved in several disciplinary actions involving organized inmate disobedience. Having met the prisoner and being familiar with the details of his present circumstances, I would heartily recommend that he be deleted from your referral list.
Respectfully,
Mr. Doe
Major – Connecticut Dept. of Correction

3. Back when I used to read World magazine regularly, Andree Seu was my favorite columnist. Her recent column “What’s in a Name?” was superb, as usual. She discusses the difference she found sitting at a formal seminary dinner, where “the after-dinner speaker waxed of venerable ‘traditions,’” and at a banquet of truckers, when “I knew right off the bat that it was all about Jesus and not about the organization; the excitement for Him was palpable. You don't know off-white until you see white next to it.” It’s well worth the read.

4. The movie will probably be awful, but the trailer for the remake of Clash of the Titans looks cool. Perhaps I’ll go. When I was young and heard about the original movie, I thought that “Clash” was a person, and wondered why I’d never come across him in my mythology books.

5. On the other hand, I am most definitely going to this one. I can’t wait.

6. Eve Tushnet linked to a fascinating article called “Why There Is No Jewish Narnia.” The premise of the writer, Michael Weingrad, is that “To put it crudely, if Christianity is a fantasy religion, then Judaism is a science fiction religion. If the former is individualistic, magical, and salvationist, the latter is collective, technical, and this-worldly.” He goes on to contrast the two religions more fully:

Christianity has a much more vivid memory and even appreciation of the pagan worlds which preceded it than does Judaism. Neither Canaanite nor Egyptian civilizations exercise much fascination for the Jewish imagination, and certainly not as a place of enchantment or escape. In contrast, the Christian imagination found in Lewis and Tolkien often moves, like Beowulf or Sir Gawain, through an older pagan world in which spirits of place and mythical beings are still potent. Nor is this limited to fauns and elves. This anterior world can be dark and frighteningly alien, as Tolkien has Gandalf indicate in The Two Towers. “Far, far below the deepest delvings of the Dwarves,” the wizard says, “the world is gnawed by nameless things. Even Sauron knows them not.” Lewis sounds the same note in Perelandra when, far below the surface of the planet Venus, his protagonist catches an unsettling glimpse of alien creatures, and wonders if there might be “some way to renew the old Pagan practice of propitiating the local gods of unknown places in such fashion that it was no offence to God Himself but only a prudent and courteous apology for trespass.”

The writer also points out that “Christianity offers a far more developed tradition of evil as a supernatural, external, autonomous force than does Judaism.”

As a Christian and a fantasy fan, I don’t agree with everything Weingrad says, but I think he’s right in his basic premise.

7. A very cool public service announcement from our friends across the pond, on the importance of wearing your seatbelt. (Warning: profanity in the comments) I remember that when I was in 10th grade health class in public school, the state police brought in a machine called “The Convincer.” You sat on a car seat in a metal frame with a shoulder/lap belt, and rolled down a slight hill until the frame hit the end and stopped short. The first ride was at 5 mph, which wasn’t too bad. The second ride, where you hit the object at 10 mph, left me with a bruise on my shoulder for several days. Since that time, I have always worn my seatbelt.

And with that moralizing, I’m off! Have a great weekend.

--DJ

A Glimpse of Life Here

Two videos for your (by which I mean "grandparents'") viewing pleasure.

Here's Daphne reciting all the planets. All her astronomy knowledge she's picked up simply by listening to me read and talk to the kids. If only it were always this easy! (Note: I DO try to teach them that Pluto is a "dwarf planet," but it's a lost cause. Pluto is a planet. The end.)






This is a video produced, filmed, and narrated by Addie. And Phillip did all his own stuntwork!



-- SJ

Saturday Evening Blog Post

For this month's Saturday Evening Blog Post, I chose my post on how it took me four tries to get to all those wonderful Motherhood feelings.

Check out the other posts for this month, too!

-- SJ

7 Quick Takes, March 5, 2010

Today’s Seven Quick Takes post is brought to you by Jim Sammons, who encouraged us to “always listen to the cautions of your wife.” And with that cryptic comment, off we go!

1. Philip Jenkins wrote a book several years ago called The Next Christendom: The Coming of Global Christianity that I found fascinating. The major premise of the book was that Christianity is rapidly becoming non-Western, and that by 2050, only about one-fifth of Christians will be non-Hispanic Caucasian. As I belong to a church communion that exists mostly in Africa and Brazil, I agreed with many of his conclusions. However, I found his most recent book The Lost History of Christianity to be much less compelling. While it was an interesting story of the Nestorian churches in Africa and Asia, the writing was nowhere near as good. The main problem, however, was that I disagreed with his basic foundation – that non-Nicene/Chalcedonian Christianity is as theologically valid as that which won out at those Councils. As he argues, “Even on an issue as basic as the Person of Christ, what we today call mainstream historical orthodoxy looks more like the view that happened to gain power in Europe, and which therefore survived.” (p. 27) Even though I think that much of the Nestorian controversy was the result of flawed and sinful individuals not understanding what each other meant by certain terms (a view I somewhat hold about the Reformation, but that’s opening another can of worms), I question Jenkins’ view that theological victory is determined only by being “the last men standing.”

2. A book I liked much better (and which was far better written) is Going Dutch in Beijing. Subtitled “How to Behave Properly When Far Away From Home,” this book by an English travel writer has hilarious (and eye-opening) chapters on what hand signals to use (and which to avoid) in various countries (hint: the extended middle finger is never appropriate in any country); the etiquette of giving gifts; and how to participate in various holidays around the world. My favorite chapter was a discussion of the importance (or non-existence) of punctuality in different cultures. I don’t think I would do well in the Arab world, but insha’Allah, I won’t have to do business there for the foreseeable future.

3. You can’t always judge a book by its cover. And with that trite phrase out of the way, we move to a book whose premise sounded great – the marvelous variety of English synonyms or near-synonyms and how to use them properly. When Is a Pig a Hog?: A Guide to Confoundingly Related English Words looks great on the outside, and has an amusing picture of a pig (hog?) on a scale on the cover. But it’s BORING. Even for a reference book, which apparently it is, although it’s marketed more as entertainment, it’s bland. Too bad. I could see a book like this being hilarious. After all, “English doesn't borrow from other languages. English follows other languages down dark alleys, knocks them unconscious, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.” (paraphrase of James Nicoll)

4. Last weekend I had the pleasure of going on a retreat up in New Hampshire put together by my friend Joel, and hosted by several Rhode Island churches. Pastor Jack Osteen (I doubt any relation to yet another Joel) gave several very inspiring (and short – yay!) talks on Scripture, and then we met in small groups to discuss and pray for each other. Lots of free time to do reading and praying on our own, good mature Christian men to get advice from, and great food. Well worth the 12 hour drive up and 10 hour drive back.

5. I recently saw a movie that I very much enjoyed called “Push.” If you like movies about paranormal people pursued by shadowy and corrupt government agencies, it’s well worth watching. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure mine is a minority opinion (I think the best word to apply to movie critics’ reviews of “Push” is “panned), so I’m not thinking there will be a sequel. Too bad.

6. Anyone want to come to Virginia for vacation? The Virginia Department of Tourism is holding a family vacation contest where you can enter for four different trips – Williamsburg, a water park, cool stuff like that.

7. And if you have several days to waste, how better to do so than by enjoying a hysterical webcomic? One of my friends (yet a third Joel in one post) introduced me to Schlock Mercenary a few months ago. I’m not sure whether to thank him or not for getting me addicted. But just to pass on the addiction, here's the first strip.

--DJ

Mundania whatever-number-I'm-on-now

Stuart's vicarious computer time has suffered a deep cut lately since I'm not playing computer games for Lent. Last night he sighed deeply and said, "I'm bored with Lent!"

You 'n me both, son.

***

For this semester's co-op, I'm teaching a class on finance. My oldest class is boys ages 9-12, and I figured (correctly) that they weren't going to sit for lectures on budget and credit card payments. Instead I created a game using glass beads as currency, in which the boys have to buy certain required items until they're able to evacuate all the colonists off the unstable planet Krizz. (You know it's a real scifi planet when it has a Z in the name.) With my friend Deidre as banker, the boys have bought a car, a house, and medical supplies.

Yesterday, they also took the die, their currency, and began gambling. Why didn't I see that coming?

***

The kids were acting out the story of Ruth last night, Daphne's new favorite. (Formerly it was the story of Judith. Don't know the story of Judith? Come to our house. You haven't lived until you've seen Daphne play the part of Holophernes.) Stuart always adds new characters using his stuffed animals. He's not very picky: he'll cast any animal into any role. Last night was holding a palm-sized stuff horse. Darren, the narrator, said, "And Boaz decided to go to his fields, so he got on his little horse and rode..."

"This isn't Boaz's horse," Stuart interrupted. "It's a walking catfish."

Yes, folks, the story of Ruth as you've never heard it before.

***
We've got colds, we've got earaches, we've got draggy and bickery kids.

On a related note, we sure do miss the grandparents. Any want to come for a visit?

-- SJ

A Little Rant: Many Children

Everybody knows that the more children a woman has, the more rundown and frazzled she is. Which is why it's not really a good idea for a woman to have several children. There's no way she can give them what they really need, physically or emotionally.

So says conventional wisdom, also known as "stereotyping."

Any mother can be a tangle of frazzled nerves. It doesn't matter if she has one child or eight. I think it depends a lot on the ages of the children (especially the older ones) and the mother's own attitude. I, for example, was much more overwhelmed with Addie-age-2 and Stuart-age-1 than I have been with Addie-8, Stuart-7, Daphne-3, and Phillip-baby.

It is true that a mother with many children usually needs more help than one with one or two. Maybe that feeds the stereotype, seeing as Self-Sufficiency is a modern American virtue. As far as that goes, the best advice I've seen regarding a mother with many children is: When you hear of another baby on the way, don't say, "Oh, poor woman." Instead, say, "How can I help her?"

-- SJ