A friend said recently that when she died, she wanted to be remembered as "a woman of prayer." (She added as an afterthought, "I guess 'nice' would be good, too.") I mulled over the question myself. When I imagine myself meeting a tragic death -- of course I do, so does Darren, doesn't everybody? -- and my family and friends mourning me, how do I like to think of them remembering me?
My writing. I imagine my loved ones sifting through my journals, emails, stories, and letters, and realizing what an underappreciated artist I was. And aside from the undiscovered genuis factor, I express myself best in writing. Most of my and Darren's courtship was in writing, where we were most comfortable and most articulate. So it's as a woman of words and thoughts that I want to be remembered.
How do you want to be remembered?
-- SJ
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Who's Number One?
She's cute
She's sparkly
She's nobody's fool
She loves her mama
And interrupts school.
She walks,
She babbles,
She fights for her rights.
She turns off computers
And wakes up at night.
Addie's cool
And Stuart's fun
And Daphne's both...
Now that she's one!
Happy birthday to Daphne!
-- SJ
She's sparkly
She's nobody's fool
She loves her mama
And interrupts school.
She walks,
She babbles,
She fights for her rights.
She turns off computers
And wakes up at night.
Addie's cool
And Stuart's fun
And Daphne's both...
Now that she's one!
Happy birthday to Daphne!
-- SJ
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Unique Computing
Dear Dell Computers, Inc.,
According to a recent advertisement, my children deserve computers as unique as they are. Until I read your flyer I didn't realize my children deserved computers, but now that I know, I'd like to place orders for three computers with the following specifications:
ADLD2001:
> Dialog boxes will be worded in the most elaborate way possible: "Are you certain that what you want to do is exit this program called Word?"
> The computer will dispense random information at equally random intervals, often while you are trying to accomplish something else.
> When the computer encounters an error, it will freeze up. A dialog box will appear, reading, "That was ALL MY FAULT. You have to shut me down now! It serves me right!" When you attempt to close the dialog box, it will reappear saying, "No! Shut me down!" When you again attempt to close the box, the computer will shut itself down.
SRT2002:
> Any command will have to be repeated several times before the computer responds.
> If you ask the computer to find a file, it will respond with a dialog box that says, "I don't know where it is. Can you find it for me?"
> Occasionally important messages will appear in gobbledygook, because that's funny.
DPHN2006:
> This computer will need to be a mobile unit, which will drift from room to room, occasionally closing a door and trapping itself inside a room.
> If the primary user of this computer attempts to login to another system, this computer's alarm will sound.
> If you put the computer into "sleep mode," it will power back up sometime between 12:30 and 4:00 am, and refuse to shut down until it has been held for at least half an hour.
The above specifications are sketchy, but I think you get the idea. I don't have time to go into further detail, as I'm currently listening to a lecture on ancient Egyptian funeral practices, finding a pair of shoes, and figuring out which room the cries are coming from. Thank you for your time! Sincerely,
-- SJ (inspired by DJ)
According to a recent advertisement, my children deserve computers as unique as they are. Until I read your flyer I didn't realize my children deserved computers, but now that I know, I'd like to place orders for three computers with the following specifications:
ADLD2001:
> Dialog boxes will be worded in the most elaborate way possible: "Are you certain that what you want to do is exit this program called Word?"
> The computer will dispense random information at equally random intervals, often while you are trying to accomplish something else.
> When the computer encounters an error, it will freeze up. A dialog box will appear, reading, "That was ALL MY FAULT. You have to shut me down now! It serves me right!" When you attempt to close the dialog box, it will reappear saying, "No! Shut me down!" When you again attempt to close the box, the computer will shut itself down.
SRT2002:
> Any command will have to be repeated several times before the computer responds.
> If you ask the computer to find a file, it will respond with a dialog box that says, "I don't know where it is. Can you find it for me?"
> Occasionally important messages will appear in gobbledygook, because that's funny.
DPHN2006:
> This computer will need to be a mobile unit, which will drift from room to room, occasionally closing a door and trapping itself inside a room.
> If the primary user of this computer attempts to login to another system, this computer's alarm will sound.
> If you put the computer into "sleep mode," it will power back up sometime between 12:30 and 4:00 am, and refuse to shut down until it has been held for at least half an hour.
The above specifications are sketchy, but I think you get the idea. I don't have time to go into further detail, as I'm currently listening to a lecture on ancient Egyptian funeral practices, finding a pair of shoes, and figuring out which room the cries are coming from. Thank you for your time! Sincerely,
-- SJ (inspired by DJ)
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Look! Pictures!
Daphne looking pleased after an intense session of creating chaos.
They pile up and call me blessed.
The Neighborhood Gang, 4th of July. L-R Evan, Mollie, Danny, Kylar, Stuart, Addie, Aaron. This is why we like where we live.
Well, he's not very exciting company right now, but he sure is snuggly.
-- SJ
Friday, August 17, 2007
Kid Snippets
Addie drew a picture of a yellow-haired girl that was apparently supposed to be herself. Above it, she wrote, "Please admire."
**
Recently we conducted an experiment: it was a broiling hot day, and we put out a metal saucepan with butter, cheese, and a crayon in it. It was interesting to see how quickly the items melted, but even more interesting was the next day, when the pan was teeming with ants. The kids invited Darren out "to see a surprise." Unawares, Darren followed them, only to be confronted by a dark, seething mass of insects. He was revolted, and refused to get down on his knees with Stuart for a closer look.
"Look, Daddy! How many are there?" Stuart exclaimed.
"I don't know," said Daddy, not looking.
"I think there are a thousand. No, there are one hundred and ten. Because I can count to one hundred and ten." And Stuart proceeded to do so while running circles around the yard. Darren quietly made his escape.
***
Daphne makes herself unpleasant every time she spots a sibling in my lap... especially if the sibling is Stuart. Far from following them around in a haze of hero worship, Daphne seems to regard her brother and sister as rivals to her heart's treasure: Mama. I pointed it out to Stuart, saying that Daphne thinks I'm her mama and not anybody else's. In retrospect, that was probably a mistake: Stuart now gets Daphne's attention anytime he is in my lap, just to hear her whine. Daphne always obliges.
-- SJ
**
Recently we conducted an experiment: it was a broiling hot day, and we put out a metal saucepan with butter, cheese, and a crayon in it. It was interesting to see how quickly the items melted, but even more interesting was the next day, when the pan was teeming with ants. The kids invited Darren out "to see a surprise." Unawares, Darren followed them, only to be confronted by a dark, seething mass of insects. He was revolted, and refused to get down on his knees with Stuart for a closer look.
"Look, Daddy! How many are there?" Stuart exclaimed.
"I don't know," said Daddy, not looking.
"I think there are a thousand. No, there are one hundred and ten. Because I can count to one hundred and ten." And Stuart proceeded to do so while running circles around the yard. Darren quietly made his escape.
***
Daphne makes herself unpleasant every time she spots a sibling in my lap... especially if the sibling is Stuart. Far from following them around in a haze of hero worship, Daphne seems to regard her brother and sister as rivals to her heart's treasure: Mama. I pointed it out to Stuart, saying that Daphne thinks I'm her mama and not anybody else's. In retrospect, that was probably a mistake: Stuart now gets Daphne's attention anytime he is in my lap, just to hear her whine. Daphne always obliges.
-- SJ
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Singularly Speaking
The Thrill of the Chaste...
"Oh, I love books about sex," a friend of mine quipped when I recommended Dawn Eden's The Thrill of the Chaste. Obviously, it's not "about sex," but rather a breezy, very frank discussion of the modern tragedy of casual sex; and, related to that, how a single Christian woman fits into a society that views her as incomplete without a partner.
Although chastity is every bit as important in marriage, Eden herself isn't married so doesn't deal with that aspect as much. (Lauren Winner's Real Sex -- also highly recommended -- addresses marital chastity more.) Still, I found the book valuable. I most appreciated that Eden exposed casual sex to be empty and lonely, as opposed to the glamorous and rollicking pastime that popular culture makes it. It made me realize all the more clearly how rich I am to have waited for one man, who waited for me.
A single friend of mine, however, appreciated a different aspect of the book: she identified with the difficulty of being single in a couple-world. As she explained, "I'm used to battling temptation. That's not the problem. But I'm just so tired of being different."
This book gives a good view of Christian sexuality, without heavy theological discussions. And it's a good book for any girl who's tired of being single.
But, Hey, This Guy's Probably Available...
I came across this user review of my favorite game, "Bookworm Adventures," and I re-read it occasionally because laughter is good for the soul. Wouldn't you enjoy an evening out with this guy?
"MikeO says:
Oh... where to start. I guess with the positives.The game starts off seemingly well. You spell some words, it equates into damage. There's some joy to be had from spelling words that are "dirty" in nature and getting away with it. There's also a few secret words that it will take that aren't in a normal dictionary. It's a cute game. There's also a little bit of strategy involved with the powerups you can obtain throughout your adventure. However, there are a lot of tiny things that really outright annoys me. Let's start with that the game won't take some perfectly valid words. It's in the dictionary. Yes, the word may have some other meanings that parents won't like, but what parent actually parents these days? I'm an adult. I can handle these words. ..."
I took out the latter half where he complains that some letters are worth more than others, a game feature that upsets him to the point of righteous indignation.
-- SJ
"Oh, I love books about sex," a friend of mine quipped when I recommended Dawn Eden's The Thrill of the Chaste. Obviously, it's not "about sex," but rather a breezy, very frank discussion of the modern tragedy of casual sex; and, related to that, how a single Christian woman fits into a society that views her as incomplete without a partner.
Although chastity is every bit as important in marriage, Eden herself isn't married so doesn't deal with that aspect as much. (Lauren Winner's Real Sex -- also highly recommended -- addresses marital chastity more.) Still, I found the book valuable. I most appreciated that Eden exposed casual sex to be empty and lonely, as opposed to the glamorous and rollicking pastime that popular culture makes it. It made me realize all the more clearly how rich I am to have waited for one man, who waited for me.
A single friend of mine, however, appreciated a different aspect of the book: she identified with the difficulty of being single in a couple-world. As she explained, "I'm used to battling temptation. That's not the problem. But I'm just so tired of being different."
This book gives a good view of Christian sexuality, without heavy theological discussions. And it's a good book for any girl who's tired of being single.
But, Hey, This Guy's Probably Available...
I came across this user review of my favorite game, "Bookworm Adventures," and I re-read it occasionally because laughter is good for the soul. Wouldn't you enjoy an evening out with this guy?
"MikeO says:
Oh... where to start. I guess with the positives.The game starts off seemingly well. You spell some words, it equates into damage. There's some joy to be had from spelling words that are "dirty" in nature and getting away with it. There's also a few secret words that it will take that aren't in a normal dictionary. It's a cute game. There's also a little bit of strategy involved with the powerups you can obtain throughout your adventure. However, there are a lot of tiny things that really outright annoys me. Let's start with that the game won't take some perfectly valid words. It's in the dictionary. Yes, the word may have some other meanings that parents won't like, but what parent actually parents these days? I'm an adult. I can handle these words. ..."
I took out the latter half where he complains that some letters are worth more than others, a game feature that upsets him to the point of righteous indignation.
-- SJ
Saturday, August 11, 2007
What's in a Name?
It's been a long while since I've posted real and actual names for your incredulous enjoyment. Thanks to an ongoing email exchange with Kristen R., I have a good compilation this time. Some of the names make me think, "What were they thinking?" Others inspire simply, "Were they thinking?"
* Kaydence
* Brylee Hope
*Arayna Mikael
* Makayela
* Jordan Kristiona
* Lakelynne Ann Marie (daughter to Cherrish)
Brylee's birth announcement in my hometown paper was followed by a note from the parents (Kaydence and Brylee are 12 months apart): "The parents wish to tell friends and family that they do realize what is causing the babies, and have no plans of being in the baby section of the paper for a third consecutive summer."
* Sequoia
* Cougar
(I met these kids myself)
* Chraycee
* Adelay and Sabriya
* Codi
Codi? What's so bad about Codi, except for the androgyny, which is a matter of taste? Well. A word on Codi. Actually, several words: the mother's own commentary on how they chose the name, thoughtfully forwarded on by Kristen. Every time I read it it sends me into a cold-sweat panic:
Anyway, way back when I knew I was having a boy but wanted to tell myself it would be a girl just for fun, Rob and I started talking about girl names. When we named Brandon we just knew THAT'S THE NAME. This time though, nothing seemed to be sticking out. We talked about Madison and Olivia, and Sophia and, no wait, I talked about all of those names and Rob vetoed all of those names. Finally one day out of nowhere I said let's call her Kodie Marie. I got the spelling for that because all through school I always wished my name had an I in it so I could dot it. I always wanted a letterman's jacket with a heart dot over the I in my name. Suddenly we knew this girl's name was Kodie Marie.
By the time I get to the last line, I'm practically inarticulate. They suddenly knew that this was the girl's name... even though the girl didn't, technically, exist... so they just transferred the name to their boy. Along with the feminine spelling in case he wants to dot his I with a heart. I want to pound my keyboard in rage, but restrain myself because the resulting letter collisions might inspire more kreative naming.
-- SJ
* Kaydence
* Brylee Hope
*Arayna Mikael
* Makayela
* Jordan Kristiona
* Lakelynne Ann Marie (daughter to Cherrish)
Brylee's birth announcement in my hometown paper was followed by a note from the parents (Kaydence and Brylee are 12 months apart): "The parents wish to tell friends and family that they do realize what is causing the babies, and have no plans of being in the baby section of the paper for a third consecutive summer."
* Sequoia
* Cougar
(I met these kids myself)
* Chraycee
* Adelay and Sabriya
* Codi
Codi? What's so bad about Codi, except for the androgyny, which is a matter of taste? Well. A word on Codi. Actually, several words: the mother's own commentary on how they chose the name, thoughtfully forwarded on by Kristen. Every time I read it it sends me into a cold-sweat panic:
Anyway, way back when I knew I was having a boy but wanted to tell myself it would be a girl just for fun, Rob and I started talking about girl names. When we named Brandon we just knew THAT'S THE NAME. This time though, nothing seemed to be sticking out. We talked about Madison and Olivia, and Sophia and, no wait, I talked about all of those names and Rob vetoed all of those names. Finally one day out of nowhere I said let's call her Kodie Marie. I got the spelling for that because all through school I always wished my name had an I in it so I could dot it. I always wanted a letterman's jacket with a heart dot over the I in my name. Suddenly we knew this girl's name was Kodie Marie.
By the time I get to the last line, I'm practically inarticulate. They suddenly knew that this was the girl's name... even though the girl didn't, technically, exist... so they just transferred the name to their boy. Along with the feminine spelling in case he wants to dot his I with a heart. I want to pound my keyboard in rage, but restrain myself because the resulting letter collisions might inspire more kreative naming.
-- SJ
Friday, August 10, 2007
A Little More Maturity Would Be Nice
Note to teenage drivers out there:
If you have a beautiful new convertible sports car, it probably will bring extra scrutiny from the police if your license plate is YONLY 55.
--DJ, who saw such a license plate today.
If you have a beautiful new convertible sports car, it probably will bring extra scrutiny from the police if your license plate is YONLY 55.
--DJ, who saw such a license plate today.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
The Randomizer Moves Away
Really, we don't love Addie more than Stuart.
It bothers me that Stuart doesn't get the blogtime that Addie does. (Daphne doesn't, either, but she doesn't say anything yet.) I've known families where one particularly bright child got all the fuss, while the other, perfectly charming but less sparkly child skulked in the corners. Seriously, that isn't us. And in person, Stuart is by no means a skulker. If you're visiting us, you'll find Addie's conversation remarkable, but you'll have to talk around Stuart who will be plastered to your side. Later, Addie will disappear into her room, but Stuart will stay, listening to conversation, bringing you books to read to him, and professing undying affection for you.
Still, it's a fact of life that Addie shows up best in print. So here are a few recent Randomizers for your enjoyment. (Just keep in mind that Stuart is really cute, too.)
**
Addie got mad at me because I made her return a hula-hoop that her friend Mollie let her borrow. I'd spent an entire day breaking up fights over it, and wanted it out of the house. Stuart, Daphne, and I were playing outside when Addie appeared, wearing her pink backpack and looking defiant.
"Hi. What do you have in your backpack?" I asked cheerfully.
"Clothes. I'm moving."
"Moving? Why are you moving?"
"Because you like punishing me and you don't let God in your heart."
There are some issues I'm better off ignoring, so I asked instead, "Where will you move to?"
She pointed across the street.
"Mollie's house? You'll have to ask Miss Nina about that. How long will you stay? Will you write me letters?"
"I'll stay until I have children. Maybe until you die."
"That's a long time. I'll miss you."
Not to be deterred, Addie turned and marched across the street. About that time, the neighbors came outside, so Addie was able to explain to Nina that she was moving into their house.
"Moving here?" Nina asked in surprise. "Why do you want to live with us?"
"Because," Addie declared, "you don't punish Mollie."
"Yes, I do!"
Mollie piped up, "No, you don't, Mom."
Nina explained that she simply didn't use the word "punishment," but "consequences" instead. Mollie still looked skeptical -- turned out that Mollie's idea of punishment was being shut in your room all day -- and Addie's suspicions were confirmed. So Nina had to break it to Addie that she couldn't move in with them. Addie flew back to her former home in tears.
I spent some time with her on her bed, talking with her and assuring her that I didn't enjoy punishing her and that I loved her. She finally allowed that maybe she'd stay home after all. I unzipped her backpack and found it stuffed full of Sunday dresses. Addie was going to be the best-dressed vagrant in the world.
**
"Mama, since it's a rainy day, would a craft be available to make?"
**
(At Ruby Tuesday's, to the teenage hostess): "Excuse me, Miss, but I have enough strength to wrench that bar off your door."
-- SJ
It bothers me that Stuart doesn't get the blogtime that Addie does. (Daphne doesn't, either, but she doesn't say anything yet.) I've known families where one particularly bright child got all the fuss, while the other, perfectly charming but less sparkly child skulked in the corners. Seriously, that isn't us. And in person, Stuart is by no means a skulker. If you're visiting us, you'll find Addie's conversation remarkable, but you'll have to talk around Stuart who will be plastered to your side. Later, Addie will disappear into her room, but Stuart will stay, listening to conversation, bringing you books to read to him, and professing undying affection for you.
Still, it's a fact of life that Addie shows up best in print. So here are a few recent Randomizers for your enjoyment. (Just keep in mind that Stuart is really cute, too.)
**
Addie got mad at me because I made her return a hula-hoop that her friend Mollie let her borrow. I'd spent an entire day breaking up fights over it, and wanted it out of the house. Stuart, Daphne, and I were playing outside when Addie appeared, wearing her pink backpack and looking defiant.
"Hi. What do you have in your backpack?" I asked cheerfully.
"Clothes. I'm moving."
"Moving? Why are you moving?"
"Because you like punishing me and you don't let God in your heart."
There are some issues I'm better off ignoring, so I asked instead, "Where will you move to?"
She pointed across the street.
"Mollie's house? You'll have to ask Miss Nina about that. How long will you stay? Will you write me letters?"
"I'll stay until I have children. Maybe until you die."
"That's a long time. I'll miss you."
Not to be deterred, Addie turned and marched across the street. About that time, the neighbors came outside, so Addie was able to explain to Nina that she was moving into their house.
"Moving here?" Nina asked in surprise. "Why do you want to live with us?"
"Because," Addie declared, "you don't punish Mollie."
"Yes, I do!"
Mollie piped up, "No, you don't, Mom."
Nina explained that she simply didn't use the word "punishment," but "consequences" instead. Mollie still looked skeptical -- turned out that Mollie's idea of punishment was being shut in your room all day -- and Addie's suspicions were confirmed. So Nina had to break it to Addie that she couldn't move in with them. Addie flew back to her former home in tears.
I spent some time with her on her bed, talking with her and assuring her that I didn't enjoy punishing her and that I loved her. She finally allowed that maybe she'd stay home after all. I unzipped her backpack and found it stuffed full of Sunday dresses. Addie was going to be the best-dressed vagrant in the world.
**
"Mama, since it's a rainy day, would a craft be available to make?"
**
(At Ruby Tuesday's, to the teenage hostess): "Excuse me, Miss, but I have enough strength to wrench that bar off your door."
-- SJ
Friday, August 03, 2007
Some Humor on a Friday
The Internet is a wondrous collection of the funny and strange. Here are some sites that I've come across in the last couple months that I have really enjoyed.
Mere Comments, the blog of Touchstone Magazine, linked to this Resignation Letter. It's a perfect example of geek humor, and I loved it.
When Addie was very young, Sara met another young mother in this area with a child just about Addie's age. That family moved away to the Midwest a few years ago. Then, about three months ago, I stumbled across a site that made me laugh till I cried: The Dungeonmaster of the Rings. The author/creator tells the story of the Lord of the Rings, as if it were played by your typical teen-age D&D players. When I showed it to Sara that night, she recognized the author as the husband of her friend. Small world.
Another link from Mere Comments that I found hilarious: Motivational Posters for the Emerging Church Movement. "Postmodern" and "Humility" were my favorites.
And to finish, this post from Snopes that I'm calling "Someone needs to fire their marketing team for approving this one." If you're not familiar with Snopes, please become so before forwarding any emails about new computer viruses, missing children, or nefarious government plots to ban either homeschooling or Christianity. When I was a legal assistant answering members' questions, I actually had a form email that I would send to people, introducing them to the Snopes website. Most people took it in good humor, but I got one pretty nasty response back from someone demanding to know how I could trust a site that had so many risque urban legends on it. If you'll look at the site, you'll realize that he would have had to go hunting specifically for those ones, so I took his complaint with a grain of salt.
And one more from Mere Comments (can you tell I love that site?): Parodies of Christian Songs with Modern Theology.
--DJ
Mere Comments, the blog of Touchstone Magazine, linked to this Resignation Letter. It's a perfect example of geek humor, and I loved it.
When Addie was very young, Sara met another young mother in this area with a child just about Addie's age. That family moved away to the Midwest a few years ago. Then, about three months ago, I stumbled across a site that made me laugh till I cried: The Dungeonmaster of the Rings. The author/creator tells the story of the Lord of the Rings, as if it were played by your typical teen-age D&D players. When I showed it to Sara that night, she recognized the author as the husband of her friend. Small world.
Another link from Mere Comments that I found hilarious: Motivational Posters for the Emerging Church Movement. "Postmodern" and "Humility" were my favorites.
And to finish, this post from Snopes that I'm calling "Someone needs to fire their marketing team for approving this one." If you're not familiar with Snopes, please become so before forwarding any emails about new computer viruses, missing children, or nefarious government plots to ban either homeschooling or Christianity. When I was a legal assistant answering members' questions, I actually had a form email that I would send to people, introducing them to the Snopes website. Most people took it in good humor, but I got one pretty nasty response back from someone demanding to know how I could trust a site that had so many risque urban legends on it. If you'll look at the site, you'll realize that he would have had to go hunting specifically for those ones, so I took his complaint with a grain of salt.
And one more from Mere Comments (can you tell I love that site?): Parodies of Christian Songs with Modern Theology.
--DJ
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Field Trips
Back in the summer, I took the kids to a recycling presentation with a homeschool group I've joined. Fortunately, my mother-in-law was there to watch Daphne, because Addie had a quirk-fest that included trying to escape from the room, hiding under her table, and sitting backwards in her chair. While seated backwards, she spotted a girl whose mother had slipped out for a moment. "Oh, look," she said in a loud whisper. "It's a homeschool orphan!"
In Addie's defense... sort of... the lady doing the presentation was not a very engaging speaker. She obviously was used to an older, more homogenized audience, and was a little nonplussed by Stuart's enthusiastic four-year-old answers to her questions. ("What do we use trees for?" "Watering!" "What do we make from trees?" "Normal paper!" "What is this made out of?" "Normal plastic!")
Finally, Addie settled down and I got Stuart's bottom to make contact with his chair. The lady up front was reaching the clincher of her presentation: this is the point where kids realized how wasteful they were and how much they really can recycle. She asked, "When you ate lunch today, what did you throw away?"
Silence.
She looked at Stuart and prompted, "After you ate lunch, didn't you have trash to throw away?"
"Nnnoo," Stuart replied uncertainly.
"Oh, come on. Milk cartons? Straw wrappers? Jello cups?"
But everyone in the room had eaten a real lunch with real dishes. A few of us had thrown away napkins, and one older boy volunteered, "Yesterday I used a straw." We finally decided we could have composted the potato peels left over after I made potato salad.
After that, she really didn't know what to do with us. She had samples and brochures to pass out, but no bags to put them in because she was used to kids having backpacks. I don't think she considered the day much of a success, but I did. We've stumbled upon a new promotional line:
Homeschooling: The Green Choice.
***
This week we took another field trip, to the local TV station. Yes, the irony: it was apparent halfway through the tour that most of the eight or nine kids (not counting three babies in backpacks) had never seen a weather report or news show on TV. That didn't stop the boys from making stupid faces in the camera, which for them made the whole trip worthwhile. And then the presenter brought out a green cloth, which she wrapped around a boy standing in front of green screen. Onscreen, the boy's body disappeared, leaving his head floating free somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. The green cloth was evidently a standard field-trip gimmick, and it got exactly the reaction it was supposed to. Well, almost exactly. As the kids howled with laughter, the presenter said, "It's like Harry Potter's Invisibility Cloak, isn't it?" Blank looks from kids and parents alike: these conservative Christian homeschoolers were not a Harry Potter crowd. Well, except for Addie, who exclaimed, "I know Harry Potter! My mama is always reading those books!"
It was a fantastic morning. As a follow-up, I want to take the kids to the Shaws' across the street and let them see a weather forecast on TV. Hence another new promotional line:
Homeschooling: Where Even TV Is a Field Trip
-- SJ
In Addie's defense... sort of... the lady doing the presentation was not a very engaging speaker. She obviously was used to an older, more homogenized audience, and was a little nonplussed by Stuart's enthusiastic four-year-old answers to her questions. ("What do we use trees for?" "Watering!" "What do we make from trees?" "Normal paper!" "What is this made out of?" "Normal plastic!")
Finally, Addie settled down and I got Stuart's bottom to make contact with his chair. The lady up front was reaching the clincher of her presentation: this is the point where kids realized how wasteful they were and how much they really can recycle. She asked, "When you ate lunch today, what did you throw away?"
Silence.
She looked at Stuart and prompted, "After you ate lunch, didn't you have trash to throw away?"
"Nnnoo," Stuart replied uncertainly.
"Oh, come on. Milk cartons? Straw wrappers? Jello cups?"
But everyone in the room had eaten a real lunch with real dishes. A few of us had thrown away napkins, and one older boy volunteered, "Yesterday I used a straw." We finally decided we could have composted the potato peels left over after I made potato salad.
After that, she really didn't know what to do with us. She had samples and brochures to pass out, but no bags to put them in because she was used to kids having backpacks. I don't think she considered the day much of a success, but I did. We've stumbled upon a new promotional line:
Homeschooling: The Green Choice.
***
This week we took another field trip, to the local TV station. Yes, the irony: it was apparent halfway through the tour that most of the eight or nine kids (not counting three babies in backpacks) had never seen a weather report or news show on TV. That didn't stop the boys from making stupid faces in the camera, which for them made the whole trip worthwhile. And then the presenter brought out a green cloth, which she wrapped around a boy standing in front of green screen. Onscreen, the boy's body disappeared, leaving his head floating free somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. The green cloth was evidently a standard field-trip gimmick, and it got exactly the reaction it was supposed to. Well, almost exactly. As the kids howled with laughter, the presenter said, "It's like Harry Potter's Invisibility Cloak, isn't it?" Blank looks from kids and parents alike: these conservative Christian homeschoolers were not a Harry Potter crowd. Well, except for Addie, who exclaimed, "I know Harry Potter! My mama is always reading those books!"
It was a fantastic morning. As a follow-up, I want to take the kids to the Shaws' across the street and let them see a weather forecast on TV. Hence another new promotional line:
Homeschooling: Where Even TV Is a Field Trip
-- SJ
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