Mundania 21

* We were at a prayer meeting tonight with most of the rest of our church, which meant we like packed out that little living room! (We're not exactly a megachurch.) Everybody was opening Bibles to a particular psalm, when Doris -- who is in her seventies, I think -- got up and said to someone else about her own age, "Let me get you a King James Bible. It will make more sense that way." King James = make more sense? My mind blew a few fuses.

* One of my favorite rhymes of all time is in a Veggie Tales song. The Babylonian counselors (asparagus stalks) are plotting ways to get rid of Daniel, and they rhyme "Babylon" with "a table to play Scrabble on."

* Tomorrow, Addie and Stuart are each in a play at co-op. Addie plays the part of a possum and has one line. Stuart plays the part of a Cloud and has about four lines, plus the parts where he improvises. Darren will get to watch these off-Broadway performances. I hope to get pictures of their costumes.

* I don't usually take "baby tummy" pictures of myself because they make me feel self-conscious. But Lindsay wanted to see one, and it's hard to refuse her because she has such nice blue eyes, plus was guaranteed to like it. (Her response: "WICKED CUTE!!!!") Thus encouraged, I'll post it here. I'm in my eighth month. One to go. But who's counting?

A Good Idea

Normally when I discover an idea that works, I try not to launch a crusade to convert everyone else to my method. Mostly because I still haven't gotten the hang of coupons despite numerous conversion experiences, and I resisted making menus for years, and I still don't do monthly bulk cooking even though yes I know how efficient and helpful it is.

But then there's this one that I've recently implemented. I found it in a couple of places before trying it myself. It's such a simple idea, and cuts down on so much kitchen work, that -- yeah, here's the end of my crusader's sword. Convert or die.

Each person in the house now has his or her own set of dishes: plate, bowl, and cup. I'd bought plastic picnic dishes last year, which served my purpose admirably. Addie's is pink, Stuart's is lavender (of course), and Daphne's is blue. I took the yellow set for myself, and Darren gets a mismatched assortment that includes a glass cup because he's decided after eight years that he doesn't like plastic anymore.

The rule is that you use only your own dishes. I wash the kids' out after every meal, although I have every hope that Addie and Stuart can take over that job once they're a little taller. This system has all kinds of benefits. It takes a whole day to fill up the dishwasher. It takes about five minutes to unload the dishwasher in the morning. I can tell who did NOT take plates over to the sink after a meal. And I can tell who did or didn't eat much. It's like my own Motherhood Informant Network.

So as soon as you finish reading this post, go pick out your dishes for your household. Also, don't tell me that you've already been doing it for years because this is MY good idea, after all. Convert, sinner.

-- SJ

Seven Quick Takes Friday, April 24

As hosted by Conversion Diary. Note: this post was planned before Rachelle's comment. :)

1. John C. Wright, sci-fi writer and recent convert from atheism, has had two marvelous posts about science fiction, C.S. Lewis, and Gnosticism in Clarke's Childhood's End. Highly recommended.

2. I went to Alaska last weekend for a homeschool conference. It was a wonderful trip: the scenery is stunning, the conference was well-attended (for Alaska), and the people were very friendly (which is the norm for homeschool conferences). I flew in to Anchorage and drove up the bay for about an hour to Wasilla (yes, the hometown of the famous governor. No, I didn't see her). To the left of the highway was a beautiful river, and to the right were snow-tipped mountains. Absolutely stunning. I felt like I was driving through a fantasy world. I am happy to report that Wasilla has at least two good restaurants, one Mexican and one Indian, both of which I patronized. It also has a Wal-Mart, which I patronized for breakfast (actually, the McDonald's in the Wal-Mart. Is there anything more American?)

3. Since the flight to Alaska is loooong, I brought along several books to read. Turn Coat by Jim Butcher was good, but not as interesting as his previous one, Small Favor.* Dragon in Chains was boring. However, I reread Henryk Sienkiewicz’s Teutonic Knights, and that book is awesome. The story of a young knight growing up, learning to harness his power and his emotions, and taking on all sorts of nasty characters, including the eeeevil German Knights. Not surprisingly, the book was written at a time when Polish nationalism was at its height. I'd recommend it for everyone! Be aware, though, it's pretty long. 800 pages, in my copy.

4. Last night, Joel Klampert ** and I hosted a chat session with webcams to discuss leading worship music in our churches, both of which are in the Charismatic Episcopal Church. Only one other person showed up, but we're hoping to make this a regular feature. Anyone out there who has any interest in worship music is welcome to participate in the next one, currently scheduled for May 20 at 9 p.m. EDT. Please let me know if you're interested!

5. French fried onions make a great snack. Until you eat too many and regret it.

6. A CD recommendation: Danielle Rose's*** "Mysteries." It's a 2-CD set of songs connected with the life of Christ, all in different styles. Some of my favorites are "Let It Be Done Unto Me," a musical setting of the Annunciation seen from Gabriel's perspective, and "Crucify Him," a rock meditation (yes, there is such a thing) on Pilate's judgment of Jesus.

7. I've been listening to several Modern Scholar classes on CD by professor Thomas Madden, and I've learned a lot. He's a medieval scholar who teaches at St. Louis University. So far, I've listened to classes on the medieval Church, the Inquisition, and the Protestant Reformation. Very cool for history buffs.

* Any book that stars an archangel disguised as a janitor is pretty cool, in my estimation.

** Joel is a constant encouragement to me to not be afraid of doing new music. Like, Really New music.

*** Actually, she now goes by Sister Rose Therese, DLJC. She became a nun in 2007.

--DJ

Full Speed Ahead, Watch Out for Fog

This week I've been living -- well, maybe not like I'm dying, but certainly as if I've been subsisting on caffeine. Since I haven't actually had any coffee since Sunday, it's either residual energy or an early nesting instinct.

This week I've sketched out a month's worth of menus -- breakfast, lunch, and supper; crocheted two hats; read a book, which I also tabbed and commented on so Darren can skim through it without much suffering; interviewed someone for an article due next week; caught up on laundry; got school up and running again after a two-week break; and ate so many cookies that part of my drive must be sugar-related.

That was all done on my up moments. On the off-times, I've been so foggy-brained and exhausted that I can stand for ten minutes in the kitchen without A)figuring out why I'm there; or B) figuring out what to do once it has occurred to me that it's 5:30 and there's no supper underway.

(Darren, meanwhile, recovering from the four-hour time change and incredible jet lag after his Alaska trip, has mostly just been foggy.)

As for the book mentioned above, I guess I should have already known who Dave Ramsey was -- isn't Talk Radio part of my ideological heritage? Anyway, I liked his ideas and would really like it to be possible to pay off all debt and stay that way. As Darren and I wrestle with the budget, we're still wondering.

Daphne is awake. The day has started. Today I think I'll crochet another hat, finish the menu, and save the world. That, or go back to bed.

-- SJ

Making Me Tick

For the past couple of days, my thoughts have been centered on pretty much one thing:

Ticks.

There are occasional forays into other avenues of thought, such as: Darren comes home from a conference in Alaska today! Finally! It's been four days! Okay, so that's not so bad in normal people terms, but in Quality Time people terms it's pretty brutal.

Other thoughts: When a forum is on the third year and multiple-thousandth post of a particular thread, wouldn't you assume that the subject had been thoroughly thrashed out, hashed out I mean, and that the continued compulsive postings by the same people might indicate that there is some need for personal counseling?

Other thoughts: My sister headed to the hospital this evening. How long before the baby comes? Why do I have to be a thousand miles away from her at times like this? Update: Cassie Hope was born about an hour after I posted. So there's that question answered happily!

But, as I said, those were occasional digressions. Since yesterday afternoon I've mostly been thinking about ticks.

I got bit by one at a party on Saturday. So I've been googling "symptoms of Lyme Disease" repeatedly to see what I need to watch for and how soon I need to catch it. Remarkably, as soon as I read the list of symptoms, they start manifesting. But nothing has really lingered except that this stupid bite itches like crazy.

For forty minutes this morning I tried to find a number for an Urgent Care in the area to see if I needed to come in immediately. See, I'm going to get tested for Lyme regardless of any symptoms; I just needed to know if I should do it today, or wait and call my OB tomorrow. But although I know of two clinics within five miles of my house, I couldn't find a number for either of them. And was I going to load up three kids and drive them over to a clinic just to see if it was open, on the off-chance that I'd get to wrangle them in a waiting room and exam room for two hours? Obviously not, seeing as it's 9 p.m. and I'm still googling "symptoms of Lyme disease."

Meanwhile, this morning, I found a tick on my cat's neck. So now I've got to figure out the best way to remove it without further exposing my pregnant self to toxic tick saliva. Then I'm off to google "symptoms of Lyme disease in cats." Update: Tick is successfully removed from cat, even without using the sophisticated tool called "husband."

-- SJ

Motherhood in Five

I don't always do tags, but Kelly's interests me because it's something I've been thinking about a lot (read: random ten-minute intervals) for the past few weeks.

Motherhood hasn't been an easy thing for me to acclimate to. I doubt it's easy for any woman; I just made it more difficult for myself by the way I viewed it.

When someone would say to me, "I love being a mommy! Don't you?" my thoughts were, "So what do you like best? Making a hundred tiny decisions a day? Arguing over which shoes she has to wear? The endless making meals and getting drinks and supervising snacks every day? Being both the ultimate security and arch-enemy? Tell me, which is the most thrilling part of motherhood for you?"

If someone had asked, "Don't you enjoy your children?" then I'd have replied enthusiastically, "Yes! I do! They drive me crazy sometimes, but I'm sure I drive them crazy, too." On short notice, I could list ten things I liked about each of my children.

It was only recently that I realized what I was doing. I was enjoying my children, but lumping all the drudgey parts of caring for them into the category called "motherhood." No wonder I didn't "love being a mommy." (Actually, for the record, I'm not a mommy. I'm a mama.)

Here's my list of five things I enjoy about my children. Or, in other words, five things I like about motherhood.

1. I love hearing about what they're thinking and wishing for. I remember having some of the very same wishes and thoughts.

2. I love teaching them. History, math, handwriting, reading, whatever -- I enjoy showing them what to do, and then watching them accomplish it.

3. Monotonous toddler games. No, I don't like the games, but I do love the unfettered joy of the toddler who made up the game and wants to play it over and over.

4. They trust what I tell them. I try to answer all their questions honestly, and in return they believe what I say.

5. Looking at these three well-grown children and trying to understand that I once carried them in my own body.

*Bonus!* Sharing all these things with Darren, the only other person who thinks our children are as interesting as fascinating as I do. Although the grandparents do run a close second.

I tag QoC, Liane, Rachelle, Danielle, and Barbara.

If you do post on this topic, you don't have to do five plus a bonus; I got caught up in the moment. :) Even if I didn't tag you, and you want to contribute your thoughts, by all means do so and let me know in the comment section.

-- SJ

Kid Bits

Stuart: "It's cold out here."
Addie: "It's so cold that my bottom lip is trembling!"
Daphne (thinking she's echoing the other two): "It's so cold my bottom is cold!"

**
Addie: I just thought of this. If there can be 'brain storms,' then there can be 'tidal waves of thought.'

-- SJ

It is Easter!

Some Easters feel more celebratory than others. After I've observed a more rigorous Lent, for instance. Or when I'm not still trudging through a spiritual desert. Or when my thoughts of celebration aren't crowded out by the anxiety of having all the kids all by myself all through the service. Reckless celebration depends on a lot of convenient factors.

But Easter is always, forever, joyful. It's a deep joy that isn't easily dampened, and one that's very contagious.

He is risen! He is risen indeed!

Happy Easter!

-- SJ

An Open Letter: Lawn Care Company

Dear Lawn Care Company,

I'm truly sorry it had to happen this way. Please believe me. It isn't that I don't love you -- it's just that the relationship was too much right now.

I thought you'd understand. It can't be the first time somebody has broken up with you. And we told you, it wasn't because of anything you did: it's because we can't keep paying that much right now. That's it. Nothing personal.

But you insist on making it personal. Four different phone calls in one month is too much. And then there was that representative that Darren had to hang up on because he just wouldn't let it go. That isn't even the same representative that *I* had to hang up on because of the same problem with closure. I understand that your life feels like it's falling apart. But a little tip here: you're starting to sound desperate. And who wants to date a desperate lawn company?

Seriously, it's over. We broke up. Please move on. There are other lawns in the suburbs. We have nothing but fond regard for you. If you keep it up, however, we might think it's not a good idea to get back into a relationship with you. Can you say "restraining order"?

Sincerely,

-- SJ

Proverbs 31 for Pregnant Women

wideyed suggested in a comment on the preveious post:
Somebody needs to rewrite the Proverbs 31 Woman....like the Prayer of Jabez except "The Proverbs 31 Woman: for Pregnant Mommies", or "The Proverbs 31 Woman: Students' Version". Then I could tailor the meaning of the Proverbs 31 woman's lifestyle to apply DIRECTLY to me!

I'm utterly dumbfounded that no one has marketed this idea yet. I immediately sat down to craft my own personally-applied version. Here's the original.

Who can find a virtuous pregnant woman? for her price is far above rubies.

The child of her husband doth safely rest in her, so that it shall have no distress.

She will eat only good and not evil all the days of her gestation.

She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh cunning baby clothes willingly with her hands.

She is like the merchants' ships; she is heavy-laden with treasure.

She riseth also while it is yet night, several times, to go to the bathroom; and giveth meat to her household while she just eateth saltines.

She considereth a crib, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she painteth a nursery.

She girdeth her loins with spandex panels, and strengtheneth her body for labor.

She perceiveth that her weight gain is good: she eateth not out at night.

She layeth her hands to the dishes, and her hands hold the spatula.

She stretcheth out her hand to the children; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy toddler.

She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for she is always hot.

She maketh herself coverings of generous proportions; her clothing is loose and non-binding.

Her husband is known in the gates, when others ask "knowest thou not what causeth that?"

She maketh chore lists, and posteth them; and bendeth not over if she can help it.

Strength and patience are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in the time between thirty-eight and forty-two weeks.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom for other women; and in her tongue are the stories of birth.

She looketh well to the ways of her household from the couch where she collapseth; and eateth not the bread after seven-thirty in the evening because of heartburn.

Her children arise up, and do not disturb her nap; her husband also, and he praiseth her:

"Many women have pregnant tummies, but thy cuteness excelleth them all."

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that hath precious babies, she shall be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her womb; and let her own children praise her in the gates.

-- SJ

Conversation with the Voices in My Head

Voices in My Head: You know it's after 8:00, right? Why haven't you gotten the kids up yet?

Me: Because it's nice to have half an hour to myself first.

Voices: But all of you should be up by 7 at the latest! If you want some time to yourself, you just need to get up earlier.

Me: I'm seven months pregnant, I go to bed at 11:30, and I hate getting up early anyway. It makes the morning way too long. Why should I?

Voices: Because that's VIRTUE, that's why. If your morning is too long, it's because you don't do enough to fill it up. The Proverbs 31 woman gets up while it's still dark, remember?

Me: She also quilts her own bedspreads (fifth paragraph).

Voices: That's what you get for reading a translation other than King James.

Me: Could you go find someone else to talk to for a while? I'm busy.

Voices: I doubt the Proverbs 31 woman would have blogged while her children slept.

-- SJ

A Contest Announcement

One of my very good friends, Joel Klampert, is having an Easter giveaway on his blog. Lots of cool music and kids' stuff! Go sign up for it.

Joel and I have good discussions about worship music for our churches. We have a fundamental disagreement about definitions, though - "New Music" for Joel means "post-January 2009." For me, it means "post-January 1909."

Have a blessed Holy Week, everyone. Sunday is coming!

--DJ

Something That

Amused me...
* When Darren patted my tummy and said, "You're so cute," Daphne piped up from the couch: "I'm so cute, too!"

* Tim Hawkins. His videos have been lurking around Facebook and I finally clicked on this one. I love a good song parody.

Irritated me...
* Parenting magazine. I've never much liked it, but it starts showing up at your house as soon as you get pregnant. Maybe even before. "I was suspecting something -- I didn't feel well and I was so sleepy all the time -- and then Parenting came to my house and I knew for sure." It's like a cold: you're not sure where you got it and it's hard to get rid of.

Anyway, an issue showed up this week. I ignored it, reading BH&G, Family Fun, Touchstone, and Jurassic Park instead. But I finally ran out of material, so picked up Parenting. It told me that a great way to relieve stress is to... um... how to put this discreetly?... enjoy sexual satisfaction. The most intimate physical way you, as a human, can show love to the person whom you love most deeply is now reduced to a tip in an article about stress-relief? A few pages later, it featured an outfit worn by an impossibly skinny woman who definitely did not give birth to that child she's smiling at, wearing black stretch pants that cost $235. If their target audience can A) spend that much money for B) stretch pants, then they need to aim for somebody else's mailbox.

Surprised me...
This week I read Jurassic Park for the first time. I liked it. I was actually sorry I knew so much about the story ahead of time.


-- SJ

Further Note on Sanctimonium

You'd think I'd have lots of practice with gracious explanations, considering that for a significant part of my life I was homeschooled, wore only skirts, didn't date casually, didn't watch T.V., didn't listen to pop music.

Except that in my younger days, I LIKED being superior, and didn't exactly cultivate a gracious demeanor. Hurray for the farsightedness of youth!

-- SJ

Drat It, I Did It Again!

(Sing THAT, Britney.)

After I published the preceding post, I realized that I did exactly what I was complaining about. Here's the relevant quote:

"When I was packing lunch for co-op this morning, I realized I was already using real plates and real cups (no paper ones on hand)..."

See? I make it sound like I chose real plates and cups simply because I'd run out of paper ones. So here's the honest reason: I usually don't *buy* paper ones, trying to get in the habit of using real dishes when I can.

Not to sound sanctimonious or anything. Honest.

Sanctimonium

So how do you explain why you do something without coming across as sanctimonious?

I'll tell you how I do it: I end up making stupid excuses. Like when I say "We don't watch T.V." Well, the reasons we don't are because we think it it eats up time, that it's pretty worthless entertainment, and much of it is trashy. But I can't say that without reflecting on others' choices. So what I say is, "We don't have a T.V. because if we did, we'd watch anything that was on!" Which is true, but it's not our primary reason.

I did it again this afternoon. When I was packing lunch for co-op this morning, I realized I was already using real plates and real cups (no paper ones on hand). So, what the heck, I threw in cloth napkins as well. I liked the idea of minimizing our trash. At lunchtime, I laid out the kids' lunch, and I got a couple of jibes about my "table linens." Did I say, "Well, it bothers me how we so easily throw away so much trash." No, I didn't. I said, "It was what I had on hand."

So instead of owning up to the fact that I made a conscious decision to use cloth instead of paper, I just made myself look slapdash and lazy. And if I do this with relatively minor decisions, it doesn't bode well for explaining myself when I get a heavy question like, "Why do you homeschool?" or "Why do you go to church?"

So I'm pondering the dilemma: how to be honest without sounding sanctimonious. Let me know if you figure it out.

-- SJ