Also Known As

Addie picked out a snack at the grocery store the other day. It looked interesting -- the fact that it was covered in chocolate was promising -- but suddenly I stopped and did a double-take. I picked up the package and read it through. The blurb on the back extolled the marvelous antitoxidant qualities of dried plums, plus dark chocolate, and assured the consumer that it was a healthy choice. It all sounded so appealing that, unless the buyer really paid attention, she would be completely unaware that she was snacking on chocolate-covered prunes.

-- SJ

(They actually do taste fine, mostly because you can't taste anything except chocolate.)

Euphemistically Speaking

Today as I shifted around my seven-month-pregnant figure, I remembered some literary euphemisms for pregnancy that I've come across in past years. I can think of only five now, but they're listed in order of descending appeal:

1. Great with child
2. Near time of confinement
3. Thickening waist
4. Swollen belly
5. Burgeoning belly

And as a trivial aside, when Lucille Ball continued acting on T.V. while pregnant, it was a somewhat surprising decision to allow her, ahem, burgeoning belly to be seen, instead of hiding it with costumes and behind furniture. Additionally, the word "pregnant" was not, by censors' orders, allowed to be used on air. For the episode title announcing Lucy Ricardo's, um, approaching time of confinement, they used the French word instead. Of course, considering that the Ricardos slept in two separate twin beds, how they termed this apparently miraculous occurence was the least of the marvels.

(Darren would like it noted that while I'm composing a post of almost exclusively female interest, he's reading a David Drake military fiction. Just to keep the stereotypical balance in the household.)

-- SJ

Names, Rejected

After reading Rachelle's post about celebrity names they won't be using for their baby, I realized that it's a bit odd that I haven't posted any name discussions relating to our own Baby. The reading public is not to assume that I have been equally silent at home. Lately, though, the discussion has lapsed: we got things pretty well decided by Month 5 and I haven't been searching since. (It was a source of anxiety to me that we didn't have the boy name settled sooner than the fifth month.)

There's also a preservation instinct at work. I prize uncommon names. (You can't imagine my horror when I entered ATI with the name "Sara.") Therefore, I'm cautious about letting out my own choices before the fact, in case it's picked up and spreads like wildfire and my child is left with *gasp* an ordinary name. There are two reasons this fear is unreasonable: firstly, I am a product of my generation, and we all like the same type of names anyway; and secondly, most people simply aren't that wild about our choices.

But still, I can't resist a new name post. We still have about two months to go until the final, official result is unveiled -- and even settled names are subject to sudden changes: my mother-in-law changed Darren's "girl name" halfway through labor -- so I thought I'd list some of the names we've decided against. In some cases, the names were firmly rejected. In a few, they were thrown away with force.

* Pippa (short for Phillippa, which is an awfully long name and I'm not even sure how to pronounce it)
* Calla (because I can't convince Darren to be excited about it)
* Lark (didn't even bother trying)
* Cordelia (Delia for short. This one made it into the final round).
* Phoebe (but everybody knows that name because of Friends, blah)
* Rowan (which Darren reacts to because A. he thinks it sounds like a girl's name; and B. it's the name of the Archbishop of Canterbury -- Anglican Church -- who is not an ideal spiritual role model.)
* Ronan (Darren's choice over Rowan, but too N-heavy with Jones for my taste)
* Avery (for a BOY. A BOY!! Despite all my efforts to be reasonable about it, the fact that this lyrical male name is now a top female name drives me mad).
* Davis (my stepfather's first name. Darren pointed out the possibility of "Davy Jones," so I withdrew it from the running. It still may make it in as a middle name someday.)
* William (after spending two pregnancies winning Darren over to this one -- there was this William who, a while ago, conquered England, and Darren finds it difficult to think of him civilly -- I looked around and discovered a William for every fourth boy I met.)
* Arthur ("What? It's geeky!" "No, it's like King Arthur." Out it went.)

I realize that we reject about twice as many names as most couples even discuss. The reality is even worse than it appears here.

This list doesn't include the middle-name considerations.

-- SJ

Spelling Quiz

The blogging spirit has been too tired to produce much of late. So I'll fill in with what has to be my current favorite Kid Quote, provided by our five-year-old neighbor Mollie:

"Sara, I know how to spell CD!"

"Okay. How?"

"DVD!"

-- SJ

Dreams

Sara dreams much more than I do. My dreams tend to only come when I'm majorly stressed, and then I dream about the stress-inducing factor all night long. This is completely involuntary for me. Sara, on the other hand, has dreamed enough that she can often control what happens in her dreams.Addie has just discovered the joy of narrating dreams, which she enjoys more than I do listening, I’m afraid. A couple days ago, she told us that she had dreamed that she was flying and had eaten a magic apple.

D: "What did the magic apple do?"
A: "It gave me wings and made me fly."
D: "Was it hard to fly?"
A: "Oh, no, it was very easy."

Okay, I'm now officially put out. I very rarely have flying dreams, and when I do, it takes all I can do to hover a couple inches above the ground. Now my daughter is, like my wife, effortlessly flying above the dreamscape. Humph.

Today, Addie told me, "Last night, I had a bad dream. A demon was attacking me, and then Jesus came, and He helped me, and we beat the demon." Stuart immediately informed me, "Last night, I had a bad dream too. A, um, bad ulfsark [note continuing plug for Age of Mythology] was attacking me, and then Jesus came, and He helped me, and we beat the ulfsark." Okay, I guess I can be a good daddy and listen to dreams.

Then Stuart said, “And two of my friends, a minotaur and a cyclops, had bad dreams last night too. The cyclops dreamed that a bad ulfsark was attacking him…” At this point, I had to pause him for a laughter-break.

--DJ