New Camera, New Pictures

Posted in no particular order, captioned with no particular brilliance.

Harvesting honeysuckle. A sweet piece of childhood.


Digging trenches in the backyard. A less charming piece of childhood.




One husband at work, the other husband out of town... so Nina and I took our six kids out for ice cream. We've come a long way since the summer of 2002, when we each had one toddler.


Initiation into the Rite of Honeysuckle



Addie enjoying the scenery around the neighborhood.




Friendly self-service!


Artist's vision of our D&D characters -- Dirk, Armoren, Rapiera, Calla... and Kitty.




Bye, y'all!


-- SJ

Kid Bits

Playing Wizard 101:

Addie: "Oh, those Fire Elves! I can think of several other names for them!"
Stuart: "Like what?"
Addie: "Nuisance, Aggravation, Irritating Elves... that's several names."
Stuart: "Oh, I thought you meant like 'Bob.'"

***
Daphne has realized that she doesn't pronounce her R's correctly. So she's giving herself intense speech therapy, practicing words like "more" and "four" and "girl." It's working.

***
A couple of weekends ago, Chick-Fil-A advertised a "mother-son date night." I liked the idea because it would be a one-on-one event with Stuart. He liked the idea because it was Chick-Fil-A.

We dressed nicely and drove over to the restaurant (I'd called ahead to reserve our spot). We got our picture with the Chick-Fil-A cow, sat at a table with a blue (plastic) tablecloth and a small flower in a vase, and were served our meal. A magician came around to each table to perform funny tricks -- he was a little alarmed that Stuart laughed so hard he had to have his inhaler.

Stuart and I played Connect Four and a Whack-A-Mole card game while eating, and then Stuart got his face painted. He asked for a crocodile, and the lady painted the croc's mouth around the corner of Stuart's -- so that when Stuart opened and closed his mouth, so did the crocodile. It was brilliant.

A good time was had by all. As parodist and comedian Tim Hawkins expresses, we love Chick-Fil-A.

***
Phillip has everything he needs for talking: inflection, body language, topic of conversation... everything except, you know, words. He's more interested in sounds, anyway. Particularly of the bodily type.

***
Addie wanted me to play Wizard tonight instead of working on the budget. She informed me that she'd found a note I'd obviously typed for myself. It was on the desktop on the computer, and said, "Note to self: play wizard 101 tonight." I replied that, despite the note to myself, I still needed to see to the budget. A few minutes later, she directed my attention to the note again. This time it said, "Note to self: play wizard 101 tonight. do budgeting tomorrow." What could I say? Obviously it was on my to-do list.

-- SJ

Sunshine

Life, as it so often does, got better.

Actually, it was always pretty good. Now that I've had more sleep, more time to recharge, and less biological interference, I'm happy to give sunshine its turn.

* Two weekends ago, our friends Jayme and Todd told us about a community contra-dance being held about an hour away from us. Anybody who knows the History of Darren and Sara knows that we first got to know each other specifically because we didn't go out dancing with our friends. Ever since then, however, we've wanted to give it a whirl (literally). Ten years later, it finally happened.

You know how you look forward to something so much -- romanticize it so much -- that when you finally get to do it, it falls a little flat? Well, that's not what happened here. Darren and I had... um, had a ball. We made lots of mistakes, but then, so did everybody else (except probably Todd and Jayme). The whole thing deserves its own blog post. We hadn't even caught our breath from the first dance before we were talking about "next time."

* We're almost officially done with school for the year. Darren's going to go over a couple more math concepts with A&S, and then our summer begins. I always thought I'd be the type to homeschool through the summer. That was before I actually, you know, homeschooled anybody.

I am very pleased with the kids' progress in math. I've pushed hard in math because I know that if I let it lapse, they won't just pick it up later. And they're finishing with a good grasp of multiplication, rounding, division, fractions, and solving two-step equations. Did you hear that wind whistling through the treetops? That's me sighing with relief.

* Daphne spends half-hours at the time now drawing dragons, cats, and unicorns. And they're very recognizable. She also often draws my D&D character, Calla, with her character, Kitty. She makes Calla very tall with an oval-shaped body, a thatch of curly hair on top, and two very pronounced ears. It's very charming.

* I dreamed that my friend Danielle had another baby and named her Calla. I was delighted, because I love the name but couldn't get it through committee when naming my own children. Then I woke up and was disappointed. Danielle produces very cute kids, deserving of a name like Calla. So Danielle, could you see about that for me? Thanks.

* Speaking of dreams, the other night I dreamed I was having lunch with my "best friend," a man. While we lunched together, I explained some of the things my husband and I had been discussing. Then, happily, I exclaimed, "My husband and my best friend -- my two favorite men!" Once awake, I realized that the two men in the dream were, in fact, both Darren.

* Speaking of Darren, which I do more frequently than is seemly for a woman married a decade, he was one step ahead of my Thundercloud post below. He'd already reserved a hotel room for me this weekend. We enjoyed a date, and then he went home. I stayed by myself in the quiet, clean hotel room and played Wizard 101 without interruptions, then slept without interruptions, then enjoyed a morning without interruptions. Gold stars for my husband and best friend.

* I forgot to pack my brush for the hotel stay. Fortunately, I just got my hair cut, so it was easier to make it go into place. Also fortunately, I've seen The Little Mermaid so know how to use a dinglehopper.

-- SJ

Thunderclouds

I'm grouchy today.

How grouchy, you ask? What do you mean, you didn't ask? You SHOULD. What's the point of coming here if you're just going to stand around and let ME do all the work? Does it not OCCUR to you that I am not the only capable person around here?

Right. That grouchy.

* We got a headboard/footboard set for Stuart's mattress, but it's a little shaky so today I hammered a nail into it to make it more secure, but the nail was too short and I didn't think to leave enough space to pull it back out again. So now there's a nail in one of the posts on the bed. Darren would do well to just nod understandingly when he notices it, and not bring it up for discussion until later. Like when Stuart is twenty-five.

* I washed nearly every piece of clothing in the house last week. Today I folded it. Except for the piles of Darren's dress shirts that I have to iron because I left them piled in the hallway for a week.

* Tonight's supper is something that everybody except me likes.

* This is our night that the babysitter comes and we go to the gym. Darren likes the gym. I don't. I don't enjoy exercising. And I think of all the articles and all the people who assure me that exercise makes me feel BETTER because of ENDORPHINS, and that makes me grouchy.

* I've lost some weight, but the Voices in my Head (the ones that go on about endorphins) keep saying that I'd lose more if I stopped eating cookies and started going to the gym more than once a week.

* Phillip stubbed his toe, but isn't old enough to realize that band-aids fix everything, so has been crying around my knees for the past ten minutes.

* There is a solid biological reason why I feel this way today, and also why I want to eat so many cookies. And that makes me grouchy, too.

-- SJ

Stale Technology

I was disapproving of a book I read in which the technology was stale. It seems that an author and editor would be on alert for that sort of thing, because technology sneaks up on you and then slips past you without your realizing it.

Like on our Babysitter Instructions Sheet, for instance.

We've been printing out a reference page for our babysitters since 2004. Well, that's the earliest one we saved, anyway. We've made necessary changes along the way: bedtime routine, extra computer time, a couple of additional children, that sort of thing. But it was just this weekend that Darren pointed out a standard feature of our paper that has become obsolete since we first wrote it:

The page explains that if we want to get ahold of the babysitter, we'll call the house, let it ring once, hang up, then call again. That's the signal that she can pick up to talk to us. It's a good system... for 2004.

But it's 2011. Now we have Caller ID. And besides that, all our babysitters have cell phones. We just text her directly.

I'll be removing that note the next time we print out the Instruction Sheet. And feel a little dizzy at how quickly technology changes the way we operate.

-- SJ

To My Mother

Here's a Mother's Day poem to my mother, who doesn't deserve it. No, really, I think you'll agree that there aren't many people who deserve a poem like this. But I promised her a poem, and I figure she knew what to expect.

Please note the sophisticated rhyme scheme. Thank you.

Mom

Mom, you’re great.

You made sure I ate

The good food you cooked each day.

Although I usually ate Cap’n Crunch instead.

Everything of mine you read,

You’d edit

As you read it

With a black pen.

I still remember when

You would take me shopping

And never put me on the chopping

Block although I deserved it.

You don’t care much to observe it

But it is Mother’s Day

So I'm writing to say

Thank you.


I love you!!


-- SJ (certainly not DJ, whose poetry is of much higher quality)

Repost: Titan Quest

Because Darren mentioned Titan Quest in his 7 Quick Takes (#4 below), I repost the following from April 2008. Just to give two sides to the story here.

Titan *yawn* Quest

Not to criticize something that my husband enjoys, but Titan Quest is pretty much the dullest game ever created.

Here's how you play Titan Quest. You choose your character and name him or her. That's the fun part, and it all goes downhill from there. (The male characters measure about fifty-five inches around the chest. So do the female characters, for that matter.) Your character sets off on a quest. He talks to villagers. He fights enemies. He collects treasures. He sells treasures. He talks to villagers. He fights enemies. He collects treasures. He sells treasures. He talks to villagers. He fights enemies. Then, to make things even more exciting, he fights BIGGER enemies, and gets BIGGER treasures. This goes on until he gets to the tip-top boss of all boss characters, Typhon. He defeats Typhon. Hoo-ray!

At which point he unlocks "Epic Mode." You know what happens then? He STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN. The enemies are stronger, he's stronger, the treasures are stronger. But it's the SAME DARN GAME.

The only thing remotely interesting are the names of the treasures, which score points for novelty. Just tonight Darren added to his inventory:

The Electrified Totemic Staff of Acuity

Charged Jewel Staff of Strength

Grim Raider Bow

Enfeebling Hatchet of Feasting

"Oh, come on," I say, looking over his shoulder as the character runs through the countryside laying waste to satyrs and carrion crows. "Can't you go explore those ruins over there?"

"You don't explore in this game."

Or, "Hey, weren't you in this labyrinth the last time I looked?"

"No, that was the labyrinth in Egypt. This is in Knossos."

Today I had an inspiration. "You know what would make that game more fun? If you picked up a magical trick staff that when you waved it, it turned into a rubber chicken."

I was the only one who laughed. After a moment, I suggested, "Or a magical staff that turns the Minotaur into a rubber chicken."

"Now that would be okay," Darren said.

"Oh, I get it. Losing a battle isn't okay, even if it's funny?"

"No."

I just don't get that game. I wouldn't mind seeing one of those hatchets, though.

-- SJ

7 Quick Takes, May 6, 2011

It's Friday. The cosmos is breathing a heavy sigh of relief, and I am in harmony with the cosmos.

Um. Okay, Darren. Now enough of the New Agey stuff and on to the nice numbered lists. We like lists, remember?

It's been a long week. What can I say?

1. I may have linked to this song before, but I really love it. We were going to sing it for communion on Sunday, but then I found out I'll be serving at the altar, so can't lead music. Oh, well. Planning Center makes it very easy to just transfer it to next week. You can't foil me that easily, schedule!

2. I read a fascinating book this week, "A Bride's Passage" by Catherine Petroski. It's a non-fiction book (left over from my Lent stack of non-fiction) based on an 1855 diary of a new bride who goes to sea with her husband, a merchant captain. During that year, Susan Hathorn wrote in her diary every single day, including the day she gave birth to their child in November. Petroski did a marvelous job of adding interpretation to the bare diary entries, with pictures of Havana, Cuba; London, England; and Richmond, Maine - all of which Susan visited that year. Great book, highly recommended. **Spoilers at the end of this post.

3. I've seen the article "Urban Legends Pastors Tell" referenced several places on the internet this week. I agree with one of the commenters - Christians need their own version of Snopes. A little less credulity might be nice too :) Although I find my own tendency is toward cynicism, a ditch just as easy to fall into and even less pleasant for those who have to deal with me.

4. Thanks to the inimitable Jim Bittel, we have a new computer now. The motherboard of our old one fried during a lightning storm. Woe and lamentations abounded, but joy has now sprung anew. And with the addition of Starcraft II and Titan Quest to my computer game repertoire, I think I'm going to have to start setting a timer for myself like we do for the kids.

5. I am loving Amazon right now. Last weekend my Kindle screen went haywire - wouldn't work no matter what I did with it/to it. (Okay, I didn't try anointing it, but I didn't think oil would be good for it.) So I called Amazon on Monday. They were very sympathetic, shipped me a new one that got here the next day, gave me a label to send the broken one back, and all for free. I think I'm in love.

6. I love listening to Modern Scholar classes on CD while I'm driving. They have really excellent professors. My favorite one is Thomas Madden; I think I've listened to all of his at least once, except for the Venice one.

7. A good blog if you like politics in non-firehoseish quantities: Looking for Overland. A good post today on last night's Republican debate in South Carolina. (And why, oh why, does the 2012 election already have to be starting???)

Spoiler for "A Bride's Passage:" The author does a good job of very light foreshadowing through the book that the story has a tragic twist. And it does, but you don't find out until the very end. Susan and Jode Hathorn were married in summer 1854. They went to sea for most of 1855, and then made a quick trip home to Maine together to drop 7-months-pregnant Susan at home, while Jode went back to Liverpool with the ship. Susan had a daughter in November; you never find out from the diary what the baby's name is (and it takes 10 days before you find out it's a daughter.) The only way we know the baby's name is that it shows up on a gravestone in the Richmond cemetery - Josephine Hathorn lived 2 years and 4 months. But she outlived her father, who may or may not have ever found out that he had a daughter - he died in Cuba after the Liverpool run in early 1856. Susan remarried several years later and apparently had a good life - her obituaries were full of praise for her friendly and happy (and hyper-organized, Type-Triple-A) personality.

And that's it for this weeks quick takes. See Conversion Diary for more!

--DJ

Brotherly Wisdom

I have three brothers, all older than I am. Throughout my childhood, they all looked out for me. For instance, every new school year, they'd ride the bus and point out my sister and me to the big kids who sat in the back. "See those two girls right there? If you mess with them, we'll beat you up." We never got messed with.

When not defending my honor, my brothers taught me lots of useful information, such as:

1. How to recognize a Russian missile as it was bearing down on us to obliterate the country (this was in the '80s, after all).

2. That you could hit a tree with a stick to scare those wild dogs that roamed the woods at evening... these very woods we're walking through, at right about this time of day, in fact... DID YOU HEAR THAT NOISE?

3. When walking through snake-infested underbrush (and in South Mississippi, you assumed that all underbrush was snake-infested), you didn't want to be third in line. The first person scared the snake, the second person made it mad, and the third person got bit. Hey, Sara, how's the view back there behind the rest of us, ha ha!

4. Snapping turtles can bite your finger off.

Last week I was able to apply one of these priceless jewels of wisdom. Bet you're pretty interested to know which one, huh? Even if you're not interested, you're going to find out because it's my blog.

Last week I was driving to town and saw something in the middle of the road. A Russian missile? No. Wild dog? I didn't have a stick so good thing it wasn't that. A snake in the underbrush? No, guess I was only the second minivan to pass.

It was a turtle. It had wandered up from a small stream that ran through a construction site, and was stopped in the middle of my lane. I turned around and went back. I've rescued turtles before, and the kids are always delighted when I bring them back to the van for inspection before letting them go.

I noticed that this turtle didn't have the friendly domed shell I was used to seeing. Its shell was spiked along the back. It had a long tail, too. My first thought was, "Snapping turtle!" but I thought, "How cliched that a snapper would have a spiky shell, come on." My second thought was, "It'll bite my finger off!"

Ha. Like wild dogs and snakes and Russian missiles.... riiight.

I picked it up by the sides of its shell. It hissed at me. I, with my lightning-quick female reflexes, squealed and dropped it back on the ground. A little wiser now, I picked up a nearby stick and poked at the turtle's head. It hissed again and latched onto the stick. It had quite the bite. And that stick was a good deal harder than my finger.

I kept a stick-length distance between me and the turtle now. It refused to move off the road even when I nudged it. I finally had to roll it over and over like a croquet ball (hours of family croquet games came in handy there). It dropped into the ditch and sat there on the gravel, looking very sulky.

Once home, I looked up snapping turtles. Guess what? They can bite a finger off.

Neil, Matt, and Jamie: Thanks, y'all. Still looking out for your little sister.

-- SJ

P.S. I wasn't afraid of those stupid wild dogs. I knew you wouldn't let them mess with me.