What We Think -- "Bloody Confused"

Darren found this book somewhere. Both of us thought it was a great premise: a disillusioned American sportswriter takes a year off, moves to England, and tries to understand the fanatic and complicated world of English football (soccer).

Unfortunately, we weren't nearly as interested in the author as he himself was. We wanted to read about English sports: he wanted to talk about his impressions and misadventures and discoveries. Plus, he was too wordy. He overused adverbs, belabored his jokes, and used ten words when three would have been snappier. I wanted to tell him to shut up because I was trying to read a book.

Most irritatingly, though: he'd broken up with America and he had a crush on England. So everything England did was cool, civilized, historical, soooo cute! Everything American was wasteful, wrongheaded, ignorant, corrupt, such a jerk.

It all got old. So old that neither Darren nor I finished the book. I regret it, because I really was very interested in English football. I just couldn't stand the author's company enough to find out more about it.

-- SJ

What We Think -- "Pretties" and "Specials"

Having read Uglies, a few weeks ago, I finished Scott Westerfeld's series last night. The story stayed interesting (although did tend to get long in places describing how they traveled through the wilds) and was unpredictable enough that you couldn't assume you knew what was going to happen. The end of Book 2, indeed, left me completely baffled as to how he was going to fix THIS mess. He did, and it ends... not exactly happily, but on a satisfying note. I highly recommend these books.

[EDIT]: Further thoughts on the books since initial post:

Westerfeld is an ardent environmentalist, but not obnoxious. He gives the most flaming ecological opinions to Tally, who has been brainwashed all her life to believe that it is real wickedness to cut and burn trees. The thought of eating meat -- dead animals -- makes her sick. But once she's out in the wild with the renegade uglies, she realizes that survival means taking on nature. Westerfeld himself seems to wrestle with the question as to whether human freedom or protecting the planet is more important. By the end of the book, he rules in favor of freedom... but just barely. Still, by the end of the trilogy, you see his point. The planet WAS better off when everyone was mind-controlled, after all. I love authors who can make their struggles your struggles.

Secondly, the theme of the book isn't Do Your Own Thing or Find Yourself. Tally has been taught, surgically altered, and manipulated until she doesn't even know who she is. As for doing her own thing, many of her actions have very serious consequences. The way Tally ultimately does battle with her dragons is by learning self-control. Self-control, not anger, is strength.

There evidently is a fourth book, Extras, but while it deals with the same world, it has new characters. Maybe I'll read it eventually, but I'm not very interested in reading another book just to prolong my visit in that world. Besides, I'm tired after having finally completed one plot: why would I want to get embroiled in another one? This is why I don't read series books in general.

-- SJ

Thankfulness

Darren:
("How many things am I limited to? I came up with ten this morning.")
* A wife who understands me
* Children who are a lot of fun to live with
* A job that is reasonably close and that I enjoy doing, with nice co-workers
* A church that's close, that I enjoy going to
* Vehicles that have been working well (knock on wood)
* Books
("Those were some of the things I came up with.")

Sara:
* Neighbors who celebrate holidays with us!
* On a related note, eating pie with Nina in her kitchen.
* Also related, neighbors who have amazingly comfortable chairs and random magazines around their house. (If it weren't for Dana's gaming magazines, I wouldn't have any idea about what is going on in the world of Halo 3 and Star Trek Online.)
* My husband who is optimistic, easily pleased, and a joy to live with.
* My three funny kids, whose arrivals made life so much more interesting.
* My dana, the portable word processor
* Clergy who reach out to help when they see needs.
* Blogs

Addie:
* The ability to make flags("Because I'm making one right now.").
* My best friend, Mollie
* My new glasses
* My bed
* My grandparents' coming over for Christmas

P.S. Here's Addie's new glasses:


Stuart:
* My nesting dolls (a "Woodlands Creatures" set including a moose, a deer, a raccoon, a porcupine, and a little red squirrel.)
* My family
* My toys
* The computer
* My kitty cat ("He's referring to Puddles," says Addie)

Daphne:
* The beloved stuffed kitty
* Bottles of juice
* Mama, Daddy, Addie, and (most of the time) Stuart
* Puddles

Happy Thanksgiving!

-- the Joneses

P.S. This is Daphne's kitty:

Caroline

Look! A picture! Of my new niece. Sure, she looks like a newborn. But a very PRETTY newborn.

Caroline Eden

About Daphne

We're trying to get her in the habit of saying "Yes, sir" and "Yes, ma'am," something that's harder to do the farther North you go. Back home, parents are reinforced by preachers, teachers, and strangers on the street. Here, it's considered a charming little eccentricity. Actually, Darren thought it was a charming little eccentricity himself at first, but went along with it when I couldn't stand having my children not address me as Ma'am. Now he admits that he finds it very irritating when children do not address their parents properly. As I recall, my mom said much the same thing about my Michigan-born dad.

Anyway, Daphne's catching on. She answers all questions -- including mine -- with "Yessir!"

***

Ever since I first showed her "Baby Signing Time," Daphne's been a signing fiend. It's her favorite conversation piece: when she's at a loss for anything else to talk about, she starts demonstrating her signing vocabulary. I discovered an ASL site, which Daphne calls "the little movies." I estimate that she knows about twenty-five words in sign... which means I do, too.

***

I gave my mother-in-law a heads-up for Christmas: "Daphne will show you all her signs, and then tell you to do it, and then tell you you're doing it wrong."

***

Daphne now plays the computer just like all the rest of the family. Isn't that sweet? She likes starfall.com, thanks to my neighbor Nina who told me about it.

***

She notices what Darren says to me and tries it out herself. "Hi, Love," she'll say. "Hi, Love. I have candy, Love." If I reply with, "That's nice, Love," she'll pout. "I'm not Love. I'm Daphne. YOU Love."

-- SJ

Welcome

My sister Lauren gave birth to Caroline Eden this past Thursday. Of course I don't have any pictures, but I'm assured by a completely unbiased observer (my mother) that Caroline is a very pretty little girl. She was welcomed home by the usual family crowd, including my sister-in-law, Jessica, whose birthday she shares. She wasn't much welcomed home by her one-and-a-half year-old brother, Michael, who really doesn't pay much attention to her at all.

And I feel very far away from home right now.

-- SJ

He Is Six

Daddy and Son

Fat baby

One year

Two years

Three years

Four years

Five years

Six years

Life is never boring with Stuart around. It's been an exciting six years! We love our boy!

-- SJ

7 Quick Takes Friday

Because I want to be part of the Conversion Diary club.

1. I got up for a 7:30 a.m. dentist's appointment this morning. Darren was very sympathetic in an abstract sort of way: he has no actual experience in what it's like to go for a cleaning and come home with the news that I've got three more cavities and two old root canals to be seen to. In fact, when HE goes, the hygienist says, "I'd tell you to floss more, but you've got beautiful teeth. I LOVE your teeth! I worship your teeth! Will you please bite down on this so I can have an AUTOGRAPH of your teeth!" Not that I'm bitter.

2. This time I came away with the news that, yes, there are those problem areas I need to see about... but otherwise things look okay. Did you hear that? Things. Look. Okay. Do you KNOW how long it's been since I've got that verdict?

3. I occasionally let Daphne put on training panties. They're pink. She bounds around the house saying, "I'm wearin' pink pan-tays! I runnin' and jumpin' in pink pan-tays!" She also corrects my pronunciation of the word, when I call them -- oddly enough -- panties.

4. I should be napping right now.

5. Yesterday was our last co-op class until January. The kids all did show-and-tell, and also presented their science projects. Although Darren's buried at work right now, he took a couple extra hours in the morning to come to co-op (the first time he's managed to) which of course sent Stuart into the stratosphere. Addie's science project was "Which Food Do Ants Like Best," and she set up the experiment almost entirely by herself. Stuart's was "Which Soda Spews the Most Fizz?" We don't try to stereotype around here, it just happens.

6. Answer to above: Saltine crackers and Sprite.

7. I made chai-spice shortbread cookies today from a recipe in BH&G. You know how you see a zinger of a title and you think the recipe will be a zinger, too? This was one of those times. Mmmm. Yum. Wow, they're good. For my own sake, I'm sending most of them to youth group with Darren tonight.

7.5. Darren isn't actually IN youth group. He's teaching it.

-- SJ

Introducing... (V)

Stickin' to It is a joint blog by a few of us who are determined to eat better, exercise, and blog about it. Or, as the case may be, fall off the wagon and pretend the blog doesn't exist. (No, really, Missi, I'm going to post something soon. As soon as I wash the chocolate off my fingers.)

You've got five boys, no girls: what else would your name your blog? Darren followed Testosterhome for a long time before I added it to my reader. (As I said, I don't go in for Big Bloggers very much.) Rachel Balducci manages to make life with a houseful of boys seem exciting, funny, and almost doable.

The reigning Wizard of baby names, Laura Wattenberg blogs about all things namish at her Baby Name Wizard blog. She's promised that there will be a second edition of her amazing baby name book. For Kristen R. and me, who cemented our friendship over this book, that promise is pretty much what keeps us going these days.

Have I really never met Queen of Carrots? Very hard to believe. Queen and I discovered each other's blogs through mutual friends, and are pretty devoted fans of each other. When I first began reading her, she had one newborn. She now has two young children and two newborns, and still manages to write posts full of ideas to chew on. Be sure to visit her during these long winter days when she's stuck inside with four children ages four and under.

Another joint blog, this one with cooking ideas. I started it, but find that my style of cooking doesn't lend itself to posted recipes. As in, I have to convert my recipes from paragraphs beginning, "What I did was this..." The other contributors come from a range of tastes and cooking styles, and if you browse the blog you're bound to find something amazing to try.

The Final Score

8:45 a.m.: Daphne refuses to eat any of the baked oatmeal offered to her.

4:45 p.m.: Daphne eats her first meal of the day after finally swallowing a bite of baked oatmeal, sprinkled liberally with brown sugar.

Score:
Mama: Victor and exhausted
Daphne: Winner of the Trophy for Best Defensive Play

-- SJ

Horrifying My Husband

I sat here typing away on an idea. One, two, three full paragraphs. Then I realized that I didn't like how it was going, and I wasn't actually ready to articulate it the way I wanted to. (I figure that if I start getting bored halfway through my post, there's no hope for my readership.)

So I deleted it.

Darren, poor soul, looked up from his book just in time to see the whole post highlighted and hear the fatal click of the backspace key.

"You didn't," he said.

Darren hates watching me write. That's because he can compose his entire piece in his head, and all he has to do is type it out. I form my idea as I go, which means that I have to cut, paste, and prune as I go. That's not even counting the innumerable tweaks after I'm technically finished. He likes the results, so I don't know why he complains about the process.

But he does. "I should have waited three more seconds before I looked up," he sighed. He buried himself in his book again to numb the pain.

-- SJ

7 Quick Takes

Jen at Conversion Diary has been posting "quick takes" and opened up links to anyone else who wants to. Of course, I've been doing Mundania posts for a long time, which are bascially the same thing, only not exactly quick because I'm not so good at that part.

1. Stuart asked Daddy to wake him up early this morning, so Darren got him up in time to share morning prayers. Since Stuart doesn't naturally wake up before 8:30, he's pretty fizzed to be the first kid up this morning. Very generous of Darren, who likes that morning spot to himself.

2. I'm reading a Raymond Chandler book, "The Big Sleep." It's part of my cultural education to read Raymond Chandler, I think. Mostly what I notice is that the story features various attractive women in varying states of undress. And the protagonist always describes their... legs. But he does so in such a way that communicates everything he intends to about the woman.

3. Darren likes to call Daphne "precious." Because Daphne always says, "I not precious. I Daphne."

4. Yesterday was my last history class to teach for our weekly co-op. I didn't even have to teach it: one of the little boys has a grandfather who fought in the Korean War, and he came and showed the kids slides and some of his army regalia. Not only was it instructve for me, but the kids were pretty excited to have a MAN there. The co-op, being run by homeschool moms and their kids, specializes in voices of a higher register.

5. I just thought, "Wow, this is hard to get done this morning. I'm only on #4!" Then I realized that I was on #5, but had numbered it wrong. The story of my life.

6. I'm writing an article about Names, which has proven surprisingly difficult. There's just so much I'd like to say! And so much I'd like to tell people NOT to do! I've finally decided on what to say, and it won't even include a scathing diatribe against people who stole my perfect boy name Avery and turned it into a girl's name.

7. Addie insisted that she wanted to learn to write in cursive. And not cursive italic, either, which is what I'd planned. No, we have to go with traditional, loopy, fussy D'Nealian cursive. We're up to S now, and all the way along I've had to practice how to write it because I abandoned the proper forms long, long ago.

-- SJ

New Name Fun!

And I thought the Name Voyager was fun. The Baby Name Wizard now has the NameMapper to show how names catch on and spread throughout the United States. Enter names like "Jennifer," "Emily," and "Jacob" for a graphic illustration of how some names have come in like a flood.

Enter names like "Adelaide" and "Daphne" and you get the highly gratifying notice that the names "have never been in the top 100 in any state."

If you need me for anything, I'll be unavailable for the next three days or so. (Oh! I haven't tried "Olivia" yet!)

-- SJ

*GOLD AWARD FOR MOST USES OF THE WORD "NAME" IN A SINGLE POST!*

Jesse's All Saints' Day Song

Jesse obligingly posted the lyrics to his St. Stephen song. Since he thoughtfully left a CD with the original song on it so we'd know what the heck his was based on (um, the Joneses don't so much do Audio Adrenaline), we were able to appreciate this remarkable songwriting effort. Except I'd have appreciated it more if he'd performed it at the party, no thanks to PEOPLE WHO HIDE THEIR TALENTS UNDER BUSHELS (or brown bowls, as the case may be).

Check it out!

-- SJ

P.S. (whispering discreetly so nobody else can hear me) *Hey, Jesse, you need to get back with Darren about the movie night. Thanks.*

What We Think -- "Flora Segunda" and "Uglies"

Flora Segunda by Ysabeau S. Wilce (how 'bout THAT name, Kristen?) concerns young Flora Segunda Frydraaca ov Frydraaca, the last in a dying soldiering line. They live in Crackpot Mansion, which has eleven thousand rooms but no Butler. Flora's mother, General Frydraaca, banished the Butler, a magical being that maintained the house. So now the house is falling apart. Meanwhild, the pacifist Flora is trapped into a military career like the rest of her family, when she'd rather be a magical Ranger. When she accidentally finds Valefor, the banished Butler, she sets out to restore his power... not realizing it could cost hers.

I was delighted with this book from the first page, all the way to about the second chapter. Then the book went on, and I followed, but with diminishing interest until I finally got to the end and thought, "Huh. That wasn't as satisfying as I was hoping." After thinking it over, I realized that I was mostly interested in the house and the Butler, while the author focused more on Flora and her adventures. It's a pretty good story, as long as you don't mind leaving the house. One aspect I did notice: Flora doesn't believe in violence, and never resorts to it even in self-defense or irritation. But the way she reclaims herself before she fades away into the Elsewhere is that she becomes so angry, so furious, that she asserts her Will and saves herself. I wondered at the idea that anger is strength. She uses anger to browbeat others into doing things her way. So although she never raises a hand against anyone, she still uses emotional violence. Perhaps that was another reason why I wasn't satisfied with the book in the end: I didn't like its message.

I see that Amazon lists a second book. The discovery doesn't excite me much.

*
My niece Katie recommended Scott Westerfield's Uglies. Its premise is that in a future world, everyone is born "ugly." At age sixteen, they undergo extensive surgery that turns them "pretty," and they go live in New Pretty Town where they party all the time. Tally is an ugly, but only for three more months. She can't wait to join her friend Peris in the City. She hates being ugly: one of her pastimes (indeed, all uglies' pastimes) is to take a digital image of her face and alter it to the exact Pretty dimensions so she can see what she'll look like. But her new friend, Shay, says she doesn't want to be a pretty. She thinks they look just fine the way they are. She wants to escape to a secret city where other uglies live. Tally watches her go, but isn't convinced. Unfortunately, what Tally doesn't know is that there's more to that operation than just good looks.

I enjoyed it very much. The author did a good job of making you sympathize with Tally even while wanting to whack her upside her perfectly normal-looking head for not seeing the truth. The message of this book is very relevant indeed.

This is the first in a three- or four-book series, and I'm looking forward to getting the second one out as soon as I can.

-- SJ

Stay Tuned for a New Post!

I'm reading more books, which means I'll be blogging about them. Today, however, I spent nearly all afternoon suffering from a migraine due to lack of sleep. The last time this happened, a couple of weeks ago, it was a Tuesday morning and Darren had left for work. So I called Deidre and croaked, "You don't have to, but could you come watch my kids while I sleep this off?" And she did. There are Gold Stars on her chart in Heaven.

Today, Darren took over the household, including getting the kids a filling and nutritious supper of Happy Meals.

Yesterday I couldn't post because I escaped around noon and spent four hours all by myself -- reading, writing, and thinking uninterrupted thoughts. Then the babysitter arrived and Darren joined me, and we ate Indian and had lots of uninterrupted conversation. It was a happy day. Darren has so many Gold Stars that they've had to tack up extra charts to make room for them all.

-- SJ

Boredom

A few years ago, my days were bleak and empty. I was at home with two toddlers, I didn't have many friends in the area, I didn't have any outlet for writing, and I couldn't clean anything without two disasters on legs undoing all my work.

I'd sit on the couch and think dismally, "I'm so bored."

Today, I've got piles of stuff to get done: an article to revise, another to write, history to prepare for, a Christmas letter to write... oh, good heavens, I need to start on Christmas shopping as well... And of course the House Fairies haven't done a darn thing toward vacuuming or cleaning the bathrooms.

So, naturally, I'm tapping away at my dana, writing about WWII in a way that seven-year-olds will listen, and thinking, "I'm so bored."

It's fun being human!

-- SJ

Kids Voting

Kristin R. sent me this link to help kids understand why people vote for different candidates. If you've got children old enough to understand, you should try it.

I made a poster of it and went over it in school today. It didn't take very long to do, and Addie and Stuart grasped the idea. They voted for more candy and going to the park, figuring that was worth having to clean up their rooms every day.

-- SJ

Rant: Twilight

Dear Katie and anyone else reading the Twilight series: Skip this post because I mention spoilers, in a very heated manner.

I restrained myself when reviewing Twilight before because I recognized that its greatest flaw was that I was too old for it. There was one aspect of it that really, really bothered me, but nobly I swallowed the rant.

Well, sorry, here it comes up again.

The teenager who cuts our lawn and sells us subs for his senior class trip was here again. He's finished all the Twilight books and is eagerly waiting for the movie.

Andrew remarked, "Bella has a child..."

"Woah. Wait," I said. "How did she have a child? With Edward the vampire? There's something biologically wrong with that."

"She and Edward got married," he explained hastily.

Yeah, but I'd said biologically, not morally. I couldn't bring myself to explain to him why it was an utter absurdity for Bella to have a child that was half-human, half-vampire. Here's why: Edward, and the other vampires, do not eat. They do not sleep. They do not breathe. They have no heartbeat. THEY ARE DEAD. That's what vampires are, half-dead beings.

So why, when all these other human bodily functions don't work, the sexual organs still DO? To put it more bluntly, which I didn't have the heart to do for Andrew, DEAD MEN DO NOT HAVE BLOOD FLOW AND CANNOT PRODUCE SPERM. THEY CANNOT HAVE SEX AND THEY CANNOT REPRODUCE.

The author makes a big deal out of Edward's death-like existence, but obviously didn't think through the implications. It took some thinking, too: it took a whole fifteen seconds for me to realize the difficulty.

Whatever. I guess the teens don't realize it, but it would be a very bleak experience to be married to a vampire.

-- SJ

The Right Time

A rare and probably lone post about the elections.

With the election approaching (everybody DID hear that there's this election coming up, right?) I've realized something embarrassing: our children know more about How Babies Are Made than they do about How Daddy And Mama Decide Which Leaders to Vote For. We just don't talk politics in this house.

Part of the reason we don't is because of the ever-hot topic of abortion. It's something both of us feel deeply about, but we're reluctant to introduce Addie and Stuart to the fact that it exists. Even when I volunteer at the local crisis pregnancy center (I do the newsletter, not counseling, in case you thought I had hidden depths), we describe it as a "place that helps mothers and babies."

But of course our major objection to Obama is his aggressive support of abortion and refusal to acknowledge that infants born alive after an attempted abortion are entitled -- as human beings -- to basic care. If we leave out that issue when talking to our kids about who to elect, we're left trying to explain why taking money from the rich to give to the poor might not be a good idea for the country. Just TRY explaining that to two children who read missionary stories and want to open a hotel where people can stay free.

My question is, when do we broach the subject of abortion? They're old enough to comprehend it, but not old enough to process it. We don't want to turn it into a black-and-white Good Guys (us) and Bad Guys (them), but understanding the reasoning behind the abortion culture is sophisticated thinking. I'd like to avoid the subject entirely, but as I've realized, we're failing to teach our children what we personally believe. And that's bad parenting.

(Note: I do not want to get into The Debate, nor will I fall in with diatribes against The Other Side. I just want your opinion on introducing a difficult topic.)

-- SJ (and DJ too)

All Saints' Day 2008

I normally post an account of our ASD party a day or two after the fact. This year, I've begun freelancing for a local magazine and had a deadline looming, so there were no creative energies to spare on party talk.

Which wouldn't be even worth mentioning except that in the week since the party, I've misplaced all the cards that told who brought what food and why. And that's pretty much the whole point of the party, is the food.

I'll try to reconstruct the menu from memory sometime when I'm not a single mom babysitting two extra kids. I do want to mention the Best Effort Award, which goes to Jesse. It wasn't till after the party was over that I realized he'd composed a song about St. Stephen the Martyr. I'd have had him perform it if I knew about it, which might possibly be why I didn't know about it. Jesse, could you send me the lyrics so I can post them (so also I don't have to re-type them myself)?

This post is lacking in warm and sparkling details because I'm short on sleep (and husbands). I texted Darren this afternoon to tell him that I "used up the last of the milk to make myself coffee, so now I'm not a raging monster mama." Only predictive text inserted the word "named" instead of "make." Pretty accurate: as Kristen R. says, a little artificial personality can go a long way when you need sleep.

-- SJ