Mundania 21

* We were at a prayer meeting tonight with most of the rest of our church, which meant we like packed out that little living room! (We're not exactly a megachurch.) Everybody was opening Bibles to a particular psalm, when Doris -- who is in her seventies, I think -- got up and said to someone else about her own age, "Let me get you a King James Bible. It will make more sense that way." King James = make more sense? My mind blew a few fuses.

* One of my favorite rhymes of all time is in a Veggie Tales song. The Babylonian counselors (asparagus stalks) are plotting ways to get rid of Daniel, and they rhyme "Babylon" with "a table to play Scrabble on."

* Tomorrow, Addie and Stuart are each in a play at co-op. Addie plays the part of a possum and has one line. Stuart plays the part of a Cloud and has about four lines, plus the parts where he improvises. Darren will get to watch these off-Broadway performances. I hope to get pictures of their costumes.

* I don't usually take "baby tummy" pictures of myself because they make me feel self-conscious. But Lindsay wanted to see one, and it's hard to refuse her because she has such nice blue eyes, plus was guaranteed to like it. (Her response: "WICKED CUTE!!!!") Thus encouraged, I'll post it here. I'm in my eighth month. One to go. But who's counting?

Proverbs 31 for Pregnant Women

wideyed suggested in a comment on the preveious post:
Somebody needs to rewrite the Proverbs 31 Woman....like the Prayer of Jabez except "The Proverbs 31 Woman: for Pregnant Mommies", or "The Proverbs 31 Woman: Students' Version". Then I could tailor the meaning of the Proverbs 31 woman's lifestyle to apply DIRECTLY to me!

I'm utterly dumbfounded that no one has marketed this idea yet. I immediately sat down to craft my own personally-applied version. Here's the original.

Who can find a virtuous pregnant woman? for her price is far above rubies.

The child of her husband doth safely rest in her, so that it shall have no distress.

She will eat only good and not evil all the days of her gestation.

She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh cunning baby clothes willingly with her hands.

She is like the merchants' ships; she is heavy-laden with treasure.

She riseth also while it is yet night, several times, to go to the bathroom; and giveth meat to her household while she just eateth saltines.

She considereth a crib, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she painteth a nursery.

She girdeth her loins with spandex panels, and strengtheneth her body for labor.

She perceiveth that her weight gain is good: she eateth not out at night.

She layeth her hands to the dishes, and her hands hold the spatula.

She stretcheth out her hand to the children; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy toddler.

She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for she is always hot.

She maketh herself coverings of generous proportions; her clothing is loose and non-binding.

Her husband is known in the gates, when others ask "knowest thou not what causeth that?"

She maketh chore lists, and posteth them; and bendeth not over if she can help it.

Strength and patience are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in the time between thirty-eight and forty-two weeks.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom for other women; and in her tongue are the stories of birth.

She looketh well to the ways of her household from the couch where she collapseth; and eateth not the bread after seven-thirty in the evening because of heartburn.

Her children arise up, and do not disturb her nap; her husband also, and he praiseth her:

"Many women have pregnant tummies, but thy cuteness excelleth them all."

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that hath precious babies, she shall be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her womb; and let her own children praise her in the gates.

-- SJ

Don't Play It Again, Sam. It's Nauseous.

I'm not badly plagued by morning sickness. I spend a few weeks feeling carsicky -- all the time, all day and night -- but it's rarely worse than that. But it's enough for my body to form permanent aversions toward innocent offenders.

Food isn't much of a problem: I can eat everything I normally like, and lots of it, too. My aversions instead take the form of what I hear.

When I was newly pregnant with Addie, I watched "My Best Friend's Wedding." I hated it, of course, but that had more to do with Julia Roberts than morning sickness. I did like the opening song, "Wishin' and Hopin'." Liked it so much that Darren got me the soundtrack. I listened to it maybe four times. Ugh. Ugh. The thought of that song, and the pink background on the movie itself, still makes me ill. I lent the CD to Lindsay, who let someone else borrow it, and I hope whoever that was mailed it to Australia. I was glad to get the CD as far away from me as possible.

When I was pregnant with Stuart, Addie (barely a year old) watched a lot of Baby Einstein videos. Six years later I can hardly be in the same room with Baby Doolittle. The rest are okay, but the music for Doolittle nauseates me.

I seem to have passed through Daphne's pregnancy unscarred, but this one is making up for it. So far I'm unable to listen to the kids' CD "Songs of America," and the very sight of the BigFish.com game "Monster Mash" -- even without hearing the music -- makes me feel icky. Oh, and also I can't play the game "Pirate Poppers" (some $9.99 game we picked up at Target) because I played it in the early days of pregnancy so, well, you know how it goes.

Do you have any odd aversions thanks to sickness (pregnancy or otherwise related?)

-- SJ

P.S. Handy-dandy way to remember if you should use the word "nauseate" or "nauseous.":

1. Nauseated means you feel sick. It's something you ATE - nauseATE.
2. Nauseous means it makes you sick. It makes US sick - nauseoUS.

Try not to tell people that you're nauseous. They might agree with you.