Yup, the Randomizer is Ours

Ever since Sara and I started courting, it's normal for us to bring books to the table to read. In fact, even when we went out to eat at restaurants (before we had kids in tow), we'd often bring books with us.

Apparently Addie has inherited this behavior. This was the scene at the table tonight.


Also, tonight Addie came up to me with a folded "letter" for her friend across the street. She pointed to a picture of the flag. "I drew this United States flag way up in the corner because Jesus rose from the dead when He was buried."

The Randomizer strikes again.

--DJ

P.S. I use the digital camera only rarely. When I snapped the picture tonight, Sara asked me, "Do you realize that you usually take pictures of Addie reading?" Which is true. I just think it's cute.

P.P.S. Actually, we think the Randomizer comment came out because a few days ago I had been explaining that flags are flown at half-mast when an important person dies.

Things Everyone Needs

Everyone needs...



A wrestling aunt in a lamb hat.

**
Everyone needs...



A funny, funny picture to brighten a rainy day.

Stuart saw this picture and giggled incessently. Whenever I showed it to someone else, he'd look over my shoulder and giggle some more. About the third or fourth viewing, he noticed that Mama looked kind of silly, too. What else is funny in this picture? It's HORSIE, of course. That brown thing that Stuart is holding. Horsie is fall-on-the-floor funny in this picture.


*

Everyone needs...



A pretty baby doll among the toys

*
Everyone needs...


A picture of your younger brother getting into something he's not supposed to. (Photo by Addie.)

-- SJ

Kid Snippets

Welcome JJJ!... Jackson Josiah Jones was born December 19 to Evan and Jill. He came 15 days before due date, much to his mother's relief, seeing as he arrived at 9 lbs, 2oz! A fine Christmas present all 'round. (News posted 10 days late, but we figure they intend to keep him so it's okay.)

***
St. Dawn... Darren was reading the story of the Resurrection to Stuart, who was paying more attention to the illustration of the women walking toward the tomb. Darren read, "As dawn approached..."

Stuart interrupted, "Which one is Dawn?"

***
Not So Loud Next Time...
Darren: Stuart, I told you to go brush your teeth.

Addie: GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH!

Darren: Addie, I'll take care of this.

Addie: I was just talking to myself.

***
Did I Drop a Hint Around Here?... Darren gave me a bag of Harry & David chocolate-covered strawberries for Christmas. They've sat neglected on the counter because, due to an infected ear and swollen jaw, I haven't been able to eat easily. Darren drilled it into Addie that the strawberries were Mama's, and she was not to beg for any. So she didn't.

This morning, however, she asked, "Is your ear better yet so you can eat?"

After a moment, I realized where the conversation was tending. "No, I can't eat a strawberry yet. Do you want one?"

"Oh! Thank you for offering!"

***

We Uphold Good Eating Habits in This House...

In came Stuart. "May I please have a strawberry!"

"No, you can't have one. You haven't even eaten breakfast."

Pause. Process.

"I'm hungry for toast!"

***
We Enforce Personal Responsibility in this House...

"Who moved Daphne off her blanket?!"

Silence from the only sibling present.

"Stuart, did you move Daphne?"

"No, he didn't."

"Who didn't?"

"Stuart didn't."

"Then who did?"

"Baby Boo-Boo did it."

"Stuart! I told you not to pick up your sister!"

"Stuart didn't do it! Baby Boo-Boo did it!"

"Well, whoever you are, don't do it!"

***
More Heartfelt than Eloquent... "Mama, I love you, and even though other people think you're ugly, I think you're pretty."

-- SJ

Merry Christmas

I'd write a heartwarming description of our Rockwell-like Christmas Day -- which really was wondrously fun even with family so far away from us -- but I've just returned from the ER with an ear infection. No, wait, I WENT to the ER with an ear infection, and came back with antibiotics and codeine. I've just taken the latter, and am waiting happily for it to knock me out all night. Consequently, I'm just able to construct this blog post, although it's becoming increasingly difficult to put words in the right order, assuming I think of the right words in the first place. Later, when not in pain or under the influence of drugs (wow, I love codeine!), I will write a heartwarming description of our Rockwell-like Christmas Day -- which really was wondrously fun even with family so far away from us I think I need to stop now.

-- SJ (I think)

4 & 5

I spent 45 minutes this morning mentally composing this post about how much easier I have it now that my children are four and five. Then I spent 45 minutes this evening in a physcial and emotional battle with the four-year-old, which culminated in scream-induced vomit all over the carpet, and I didn't have supper even started when Darren got home. Irony rocks.

Dear friend,

You apologize when you find your life overwhelming. You tell me, "You have three kids, so why should I be complaining to you?" But see, I have a 5-year-old, a 4-year-old, and a non-mobile baby. You have a 3-year-old and a 7-month-old who crawls. See the difference? No? Let me spell it out:

At 4 and 5 years old, my children can:
* Get themselves out of bed

* Dress themselves (4's clothes are almost invariably backwards, but at least I didn't have to do it)

* Take themselves to the bathroom

* Make toast

* Get their own water

* Put on their own socks and shoes

* Play together without adult help

* Play outside without wandering into the street

* Generally do not take off running in public

* Understand when I tell them, "You can't have it now, but you can have it after supper."

* Go to their rooms for Quiet Play without being escorted

* Help clean up (still working on this, of course, but it's at a functional stage now.)

* Be allowed into every room without inevitable horrible disasters

* Brush their teeth

* Brush their hair

* Amuse themselves in their rooms until they fall asleep at night

So as far as sheer physical maintenance is concerned, I live a life of virtual luxury. I detail these things not so you will be jealous, but so you'll remember in the midst of yet another potty accident, or another plant pulled over onto the carpet, that This Too Shall Pass. I wish I'd realized that at your stage. I'd have enjoyed my very young children more then, knowing that someday they really wouldn't be babies anymore.

-- SJ

Christmas Survey II

Darren's the survey person, not me, but this one didn't require me to make lists. -- SJ

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Eggnog, which I've loved since I bought myself a carton and tried it at about age 18. I don't know why we never had it around at home -- maybe Mom didn't like it. Anyway, hot chocolate always promises more than it delivers, but eggnog is lovely. One day I want to try the real stuff, with real rum.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree?
Santa doesn't do a blasted thing. He leaves all the work for us.

3. Colored or white lights on the tree and/or house?
Colored. I thought white lights were oh-so-elegant about seven years ago, but since then have gotten tired of them and like bursts of color. I expect this opinion to change in about, oh, seven years.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
No. It just didn't seem very romantic to me after my brothers explained that it's a parasite and kills trees.

5. When do you put your decorations up?
Well. In the Roberts-McAdory household, decorations didn't go up until December 15, enforced by my oldest brother whose birthday is the 14th. A curse, he said, would fall upon the family if we started Christmas any earlier. Thanksgiving- or Day-After Decorating is still anathema in my family. However, in these liberating years of marriage, I usually am ready to decorate as early as December 8 or 9.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
My grandmother always made cornbread dressing (which is like stuffing, only it's called dressing). We ate it by the pound. We didn't have any other annual dishes, however. Not even turkey. We had ham, or roast beef, or one year we had a tray of cold-cuts and bread for sandwiches. As this is only our sixth Christmas as a couple, Darren and I haven't really established any Christmas food traditions yet.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child.
Shooting fireworks on Christmas night!

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
About 7 or 8. Old enough to feel duped and foolish. It doesn't take a qualified psychologist to figure out why Santa is not a big deal in our household now.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
Christmas Eve was when we "did" Christmas at my grandparents' house, but all the gifts at home stayed tightly wrapped until The Day Itself. As Darren mentioned, though, we'll often open one gift on Christmas Eve night.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?Mainly with wedding gifts, as Darren described. Our tree isn't beautiful or spectacular, but the kids think it's both. Our favorite ornament is, of course, The Pickle.

11. Snow! Love it or dread it?
Snow is still a wondrous sight to this Southern girl. Whenever we get a snow, I peek outside every half-hour or so to report to Darren if it's still coming down. And then I stand at the window and look at the changed world outside. Darren just can't get that excited about it, but at least I have kids to share my amazement.

12. Can you ice skate? I grew up roller-skating, balanced nicely with two wheels on front and two wheels on the back, and a brake at the toe. I actually have ice-skated, and my roller-skating training came in handy, but I don't like it as much. The last time I ice-skated, I had just begun realizing that I was pregnant with Addie, and remember thinking that I and Baby were skating together.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? As a child, it was a pink bike named "Sea Princess" (a stupid name for a bike, but aimed squarely at its nine-year-old-girl market. I adored it.) In recent years, a cookie press from Darren.

14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you?
Celebrating Jesus’ birth

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?
Probably pecan pie (the kind made with "pi-CONS, not "PE-cans")

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
"Christmas riding" -- driving around to see the decorations. And also, of course, opening presents.

17. What tops your tree?
The wire-framed angel was a wedding gift. Growing up, our trees were far too tall and big to have a meaningful topper. By the time you got up to 18 feet, it didn't matter what was on top.

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving?
Receiving, because I'm not a confident gift-giver so holidays and birthdays are a source of anxiety to me.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song?
Following my husband's lead, like a good Biblical wife I am, I'll list more than one:
"Joy to the World"
"Winter Wonderland"
"One Small Child"

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or yum? Well, if it's all you've got, I'll take it.

-- SJ

Christmas Survey

Which I first saw at Bonfire of the Vanities and then was prodded into doing by seeing it again at Queen of Carrots. Go see both of them; they've got some funny (and insightful) answers.

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Eggnog. Lots of it.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree?

Um, Santa’s wife often wraps the presents :) I can do it, but I don’t like doing it.

3. Colored or white lights on the tree and/or house?

Colored. White is boring. (Sorry, Mom.)

4. Do you hang mistletoe?

No. I don’t need any excuse to kiss my wife :)

5. When do you put your decorations up?

Usually about halfway through December. When I was kid, I wouldn't have minded doing it before Thanksgiving; now I wouldn't mind waiting until a day or two before Christmas.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?

Pies are good. So are Christmas cookies. I’m counting them as snacks, not desserts.
Mom makes a really yummy Hawaiian salad with whipped cream, pineapple, coconut, etc. that I really like.
Stuffing is always good.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child.

Going out to the Hills in New York for Christmas with my cousins.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?

I have no idea. Dad and Mom never really made a big deal about it.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?

Growing up, we always used to open all our gifts on Christmas Eve, but since I’ve gotten married, we always do it Christmas morning. I think we’ve opened one on Christmas Eve a time or two, though, like maybe a game to play together.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?

Sara and I were given lots of ornaments for our wedding (great gift idea, by the way, if you’re ever feeling stumped about what to get someone). Theoretically, the lights should go on first, then the garland, then the ornaments. However, this year, we’d invited the next door neighbor girl over to help decorate before realizing that none of the strings of lights worked and we needed to get some more, so the lights went on last.

The most important ornament is a glass green pickle that goes on last. Each year, we ask someone special to put it on for us. Lindsay has done it; so has Father Tim, our pastor. This year, Daphne did the honors.

11. Snow! Love it or dread it?

If there’s no big work project on, I love it.

12. Can you ice skate?

Not any more. Mom and Dad had me take lessons when I was in primary (that’s kindergarten for you non-Canadians out there), but I’ve only done it a couple times since.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?

I’ve gotten lots of great gifts. Some of my favorites are a bathrobe from Sara and a Renaissance chess set from Dad and Mom. My brother Evan has bought me a subscription to Christian History magazine the last couple years, and that’s definitely high on my list of favorites.

14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you?

Celebrating Jesus’ birth.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?

Cherry-o-cream pie. Yum.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?

Opening presents. Singing carols.

17. What tops your tree?

A wire-frame angel. For some reason, when I was growing up, I came to the conclusion that Christians had angels on the tops of their Christmas trees, while non-Christians put stars. A completely unreasonable assumption, I know, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable with a star at the top of mine.

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving?

Giving.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song?

How can I limit it?? Christmas is one of the best times of the year to hear good music.
I’m going to list five. It’s my list; I can “five” if I want to!

Lo, How a Rose E’er Blooming
Hark! the Herald Angels Sing - some of the best theology ever written in song, even if it is only singable by us tenors :)
What Child is This?
For Unto Us a Child is Born – from Handel’s Messiah
O Come, All Ye Faithful – both English and Latin, please

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or yum?
Yuck. Give me soft candy over hard any day.

--DJ

A Rose By Any Other Name...

Stuart chose "Baby Shakespeare" for video time today. Since it was a half-hour one, Addie got to choose one also, and she chose Peter Rabbit.

Stuart was delighted: "Hey! They both have Peter! Peter Rabbit and Baby Shakespeter! Is that cool?"

-- SJ

In Addie's Own Words

Entirely of her own accord, Addie sat down and typed out the following emails to my mom ("Mam") and Darren's mom ("Nana"). I'll be turning over blogging to her pretty soon:

***
dear mam i am sending a NOTE TO YOU, I THINK YOU WILL LIKE YOUR LETTR, AND I WILL SHOW MY MAMA, AND MY MAMA WILL SEND YOUR
LETTR TOYOU

LOVEADDIE

***
DEAR NANA I AM SENDING A LETTR TOYOU
MERRY CRISMAS BECUESE I AM SENDING A CRISMAS LETTR
TOYOU HAVE FUN LOVE ADDIE


-- AJ (and SJ)

Questions and Answers

Why Haven't I Updated the Blog?

1. Because I hadn't done any Christmas shopping until last week, when I spent two evenings binge shopping -- all online.

2. Because segments of uninterrupted composing time is rare. Anytime I'm on the computer, the kids either start fighting or wiggle into my lap requesting to play "Hammer Heads."

3. Because I've spent a lot of time playing the Popcap.com game "Hammer Heads." It's the first Popcap game we've actually bought, and Stuart is fairly obssessed with it. So when I play it, I'm spending quality time with him.

4. Because I've put together a recipe book for my family's Christmas present, trying to include all our most memorable recipes. They all run along the lines of, "Deep-Fried Turkey with Blackened Grass: Deep-fry turkey. Put out grass fire," or, "Fun-shaped Pasta: Cook spaghetti in a crockpot all day. That evening, your family can sit down to a warm, 16-ounce, crockpot-shaped noodle!" I got to play with fonts, formatting, and buy special paper for the project. It's been much more engrossing that trying to come up with a blog post.

5. Because we've been putting up Christmas trees, baking cookies, and playing in the snow. Oh, wait, my mistake -- it's been 50 degrees here the last few days! No snow, but it sure made putting up outside lights much more pleasant.

Why Am I Able to Update My Blog Now?

1. Because Darren was up all night sick.

2. Because Addie had to be moved out of her bed because she got sick in it.

3. Because Stuart is still asleep but probably will wake up pretty soon to get sick.

So far Daphne and I are the holdouts, and I'm praying mostly for Daphne, pretty resigned to the fact that I'll come down with it, too. And seizing the spare time, however unhappily come by, to update the blog.

-- SJ

When Lindsay Was Here

When you get a rare, whirlwind weekend visit from a beloved sister/aunt, naturally you want to do things up special. So when Lindsay came down last weekend, here are some of the wild and crazy things we did:

* Went grocery shopping. I apologized for the necessity, and said we could skip it if she didn't feel like eating for the next two days. But grocery shopping isn't so bad that the store has a kids' room where Addie and Stuart can play for up to an hour and a half while I shop. The service is free of charge, because the store knows darn well that parents will shop more and spend more money without kids hanging off the carts.

* Cleaned the bathroom. Really. Lindsay recommended a new cleaner, which I bought, and then we had to see how it worked.

* Did NOT snicker behind Darren's back because he had a cold and walked around like a martyr all weekend.

* Took naps. The grownups did, anyway. Oh, and also the baby, who sleeps most of the day and then is up until midnight every night.

* Speaking of midnight, I was glad to find out that our security system works, although it wasn't an ideal time for me to do a test run.

* Went to church, where Stuart earned the distinction of "being like Chloe and Tucker combined." I knew he was bright, Jill, but had no idea he was such an overacheiver.

* Sat around on the floor a lot while Addie and Stuart played around us, and Daphne lay?... laid?... reclined herself on the floor, cooing and smiling in the best Hollywood baby style.

* Had to say goodbye. A stupid necessity. Addie and Stuart proposed the perfect solution, which was that Aunt Lindsay would come down to live near us again. (Would people in New Hampshire please not scream so loudly?)

Miss you, Linds!

-- SJ

(We did get pictures, but it takes two and a half ages to upload them on this computer, so I have to send them to work with Darren so he can post them there. I tell you, picture-taking is a difficult process in my family.)