Four Years of Daphne

2006
Daphne Michele arrived. She was so tiny, sleepy, and helpless. She made up for it later.

2007
Baby Daphne observes life:
"Life is good, except when it is evil. But I know how to scream to make it good again."
(Here are the rest of her observations.)

2008
A short lesson in Daphnese:

Spoon = Poons
Star = Dars
Straw = Dwas
Sky = Kys
Stuart = Doots

Useful for translating cries such as, "Doots poons! No hit!"

2009
Daphne the news anchor:

"We're here today with Mama, who will tell us if we're going to the grocery store today. Mama? Mama? Are we going to the grocery store today? We are? Later? So there it is, we're going to the grocery store later. Is Daddy going with us, Mama? Where is Daddy? At work? So he can get money to pay for food? For those who just joined us, we're here with Mama to find out when we're going to the grocery store. When, Mama? Later. We're going later. But not Daddy, because where is Daddy? At work? To get money to pay for food? Mama, to get money to pay for food? Right. This just in: Stuart called me a cuckoo bird. Mama, Stuart called me a cuckoo bird. I'm not a cuckoo bird. Mama, I'm not a cuckoo bird. Later, we're going to the grocery store, right Mama? And Stuart called me a cuckoo bird but I'm not. Where is Daddy?"

2010
As Darren posted:

I was reading some nursery rhymes to Daphne today, and we ran across the one about sugar and spice being what little girls are made of.

Daphne wanted to know what she was made of. I told her, "Cayenne pepper and firecrackers."


Happy fourth birthday to our sparkly blue-eyed girl!



We love you!

-- SJ, DJ, AMJ, SMJ, PGJ

Cover Letter to the Editor of a Magazine

Dear Editor,

Enclosed is a short story for your consideration. I'd like to explain a few things about it first, though, to clear up any potential confusion.

First of all, you'll notice that it's double-spaced and indented throughout, just like your guidelines said. Please disregard the *backs* of the pages, which might appear to be random photocopied pages of church music. That's what it is, of course, because my three-year-old locked (and lost the keys to) the cabinet where we keep our clean printer paper so I had to pull from our recycling stack. I think you'll appreciate this "green" effort on my part.

Secondly, although I ran it through spell-check, you might discover some unusual errors in the wording. That's because I finished it at about 11:00 one night. Yes, of course I proofread it, but again it was about 10:45 p.m. when I did it. I have four kids, Editor. I homeschool them. That means that they're always with me, all day, until they finally go to bed. So I do all my writing between 9:30 and 11:00 at night. I think you'll realize how significant it is that you're even holding a finished story from me.

Thirdly, about the ending. I was hoping we could work together to tighten it up. I know it falls sort of flat. That's because when I was writing it, at 11:00 at night, I was still fielding questions from children who were SUPPOSED to be in bed, questions like, "Hey, Mama, do you know how to say 'paper towel' backwards? I can say it for you."

Keeping these factors in mind, I'm sure you'll understand the value of the story you're about to read. Simply the fact that it's finished, printed, and mailed to you pretty much qualifies it as miraculous. And who wouldn't want to print a miraculous story? I'll be waiting to hear from you regarding my payment.

Sincerely,

-- SJ

Don't Feel Like Titling This

I've read several good books lately -- not adult, not YA, but juvenile. But I'm not interested in them right now, so I don't feel like blogging about them. But you can check out this one: Addie, Stuart, and I have all enjoyed "The Extraordinary Adventures of Ordinary Boy" by William Boniface.

I'm taking Saturday morning to plan next year's school. Because I have no idea what I'm going to be doing come September. But I'm not interested in school plans right now, either, so I'm not going to blog about that.

Today was the weekly Switchoff. Amanda, Deidre, and I meet every Thursday morning (well, Deige does when she doesn't have a brand-new baby, which she has had since July 4, happy late birthday Oliver!). Two "helpful moms" stay with the kids while one "lucky mom" goes out for two hours. I was the Lucky Mom today, and I honored the Sacred Sisterhood Rule of the Switchoff by not doing anything I *had* to get done. Instead I drank a hot chai and worked on stories. I did not plan school, which Darren was much too wise to suggest I do.

I recently discovered "flash fiction" -- stories that clock in at 1,000 words or less. I love the idea. I tried it myself. After serious cutting, trimming, and clipping, I got a story down to 1647 words. That's when I decided that maybe telling a story in 1,000 words wasn't my gifting.

I've found some new recipes lately, including how to make my own tortillas, but I don't feel like blogging about them.

Mostly I feel like sitting back in my chair, eating a salad, watching the House Fairies clean up the living room and kitchen, and letting beautiful prose flow from my fingertips into my dana. Since that isn't happening, everybody's just stuck with an entire blog post about what I don't feel like blogging about. Join us next time for more handy tips on how to be the life of the party!

-- SJ

At the Fair

We took the kids to the fair last week. Daphne fell in love with the same ride that Addie and Stuart loved a couple of years before -- the Dragon Wagon:



Addie and Stuart were too old for most of the kiddie rides, much to our surprise (we didn't think we'd ever NOT have little kids). They rode the Cliffhanger with Daddy:



A good time, and cotton candy, was had by all:




Darren and I also realized that if the Dragon Wagon had a long tail and was too slow, it could be called the Draggin' Waggin' Dragon Wagon. Ha! (Daphne was not amused.)

-- SJ

Kid Bits

Phillip is taking wobbly steps on his own now. He doesn't really need to walk: he's a crawling, climbing machine of destruction. Forget the Terrible Twos; Year One runs me ragged.

Today he got into the fridge, as he always does anytime anyone opens it. (He also climbed on the table, spilled water all over my BH&G magazine, let himself out the front door, pulled pie pans out of the cabinet, and inspected the garbage can, to name a few of his other activities today.) Daphne had eaten some of a bowl of pudding, then put it back in the fridge with the spoon still in it. By the time I got into the kitchen, Phillip was helping himself while Daphne exclaimed, "Phillip is learning how to like pudding!"

He isn't saying any words yet, but when his siblings pretend to fall down for his amusement, he remarks, "Oh!"

***

Stuart found a game on Addicting Games.com called Doodle God. You're given three or four different elements, like air and fire and earth and birds and whatever, and you have to combine them to make new things. Somehow I managed to create "humans." Then discovered accidentally that when you click it twice, you get "sex." The icon shows two small figures in a compromising position. Of course Addie and Stuart were looking over my shoulder, and of course I couldn't hide it quickly enough. "Oh, sex," Addie said. "Yay! Babies!"

Um. Yes! SexEd going along just fine in this household, thanks very much! (I hold it against the game, by the way, that babies do not seem to result no matter now many times you click the humans. Addie apparently has a better grasp of the natural order of things than the doodle god does.)

***

Daphne loves playing on Starfall.com. She likes to find the parts that talk about composers and their music. She recognizes a couple of Beethoven's themes from Baby Einstein videos, and now can identify them by symphony because Starfall tells her the name and plays a clip. It's pretty funny to hear her three-year-old voice explaining that "this is Beethoven's fourth symphony! And here is Beethoven's fifth symphony! I used to think it was scary but now I like it."

So there you have it.

-- SJ

Repost: Highly-Recommended Babysitter

This is a repost from March 2008, when Daphne was not yet two years old. We've recently rediscovered these videos, and Daph loves them just as much the second time around. I thought of re-running this post because there are several readers who now have toddlers and might find the recommendation helpful. Or at least take comfort in the idea that you can let your children watch T.V.

March 21, 2008
I recently read what ended up being an unhelpful article on "How to occupy your toddler while homeschooling." Apparently whatever planet the author lived on, her toddler wanted activities for independent play. In our house, the toddler wants to do whatever I am doing.

"Of course you don't want to use the T.V. as a babysitter," the article said with a dismissive wave. Maybe not on your planet. I'd love to use the T.V. as a babysitter, but have trouble finding anything that holds Daphne's attention more than the sight of Mama using a pencil. Then I found it: "Baby Signing Time."

(Kristen R., is this the video you recommended to me? If so, good call. If not, you should have.)

We've used a few basic signs with all our children but nothing elaborate. I brought home the DVD purely for babysitting purposes. Not only was Daphne was transfixed throughout, she actually picked up the signs. Having watched Volumes I & II several times now, she can sign about twenty words. Even better, she's learning to talk at the same time, so she says the words as she signs. It's a built-in translation service.

I like the second DVD better: the music is more my style. As far as Daphne's concerned, she highly recommends both of them. Let's go watch them. Right now. (And Mama hurries off to do school.)

-- SJ

Also, read about my sister's incredibly cute "conversation" with her one-year-old.