Firsts, part 2

--DJ

First car: 1979 Ford Pinto (yes, the kind that explode when they're rear-ended). Bright orange, started with a screwdriver instead of a key, and did zero to 50 in 37 seconds (I never could test zero to 60, because it wouldn't go 60 except down a steep hill).

First date: an Italian restaurant in Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada. After a visit to Chapters (the Canadian Borders) and just before seeing "Toy Story 2," where Sara and I laughed ourselves silly.

First movie seen in a theater: The Bakshi version of "Lord of the Rings" in 1980. I had already read the trilogy by then, but I was so scared by the Ringwraiths at Weathertop that I left. The last movie I saw in a theater as a child was "Return of the Jedi;" Dad was not happy about Leia's costume, and decreed that we weren't going back to the theater. The next time I saw a movie in a theater was the re-release of Star Wars in 1997.

First book I read myself: I think it was some of the stories out of "Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes." Probably David and Goliath, as Mom says that was my favorite. The first one I remember is one of Enid Blyton's Noddy books.

First kiss: Sara, at our wedding. It was, um, more enthusiastic than I expected, leading to my first married words being "You little minx!" after we exited the church. :)

First grade teacher: Mr. Mudrick, who also taught me 3rd grade. He's still teaching 3rd, and I got to see him the last few years when I went back to New Hampshire for the homeschool conference. He's still an amazing teacher. I remember him reading "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" to us, and he also introduced us to "Where the Red Fern Grows," which we 3rd graders considered the absolute height of fiction.

First decision as a father: When Addie had her first dirty diaper in the hospital, I decided to change it so that Sara wouldn't have to get out of bed. Geni Hall had to teach me how to do it, as I'd never changed a diaper in my life.

First moment I thought Sara was an actual possibility: When she came by my office at HSLDA (she was an intern there, and I was a legal assistant) and dropped a trivia card on my desk. With the answers all whited-out. I was charmed :)

Dear Puddles

Dear Puddles,

You've been part of our family for nearly two years now, even longer than Phillip has. You and I have spent many happy nights curled up in bed, me sleeping and you purring. Please know that what I'm about to do has nothing to do with how I feel about you.

If only you didn't bring ticks into the house. If only you didn't use our neighbors' yards as litterboxes. If only you didn't kill baby bunnies and leave them on the lawn. The fact is, you're not a suburban feline. You need open spaces to roam. Puddles, this relationship isn't going to work.

I'm afraid I've had to find another home for you. Oh, Puddles, I'm sure you'll be much happier there! Please don't take this as rejection!

Regretfully, Sara.

**
Dear Human,

Let me in. Where's the food? Okay, now let me out.

Sincerely, Puddles.

**
Dear Puddles,

The day has come. It's time for you to leave this clipped-grass-and-asphalt world and go to live on a farm. Think of it, Puddles! You can explore all day and night! It will be everything you hoped for!

All we have to do is drive you to the farm. Here's the cat carrier!

Love, Sara.

**
Dear Human,

What are you doing? I'm not going in there! Hey! STOP! HELP! FIRE! BLOOD! KILL! I WILL SUE!

@#$%!, Puddles

**
Dear Puddles,

Here we are. Smell the fresh air! Look at the trees and the grass! No cars, no bicycles, no streets. There are other cats around, and plenty of food for you. I'm sure you'll be happy. Here, kitty! Come over one last time and let me pet you and hear your purr. I'll miss you. Here, kitty, kitty!

Wistfully, Sara.

**
Dear Human,

Do I know you? Whatever. I've got exploring to do. It's been real!

Hasta la vista, Puddles


-- SJ

Firsts

First car: 1976 Mercedes: yellow, unreliable, and beloved

First date: an Italian restaurant in Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada. Exotic stuff for a Mississippi girl.

First movie seen in a theater: "Return of the Jedi."

First book I read myself: I don't know the title or the story; I only remember the sentence, "Peter's pants had pockets that went all the way down to his knees."

First kiss: Not Darren. Some guy at a church camp. I never saw him again, which is not a deep regret of mine.

First grade teacher: Mrs. Martin, who taught my older brother eight years before me. She also played the piano at church, and as far as I know never contacted my mother to discuss the fact that all my sixes had wimples drawn on them.

First decision as a mother: When I realized that Addie didn't need that stupid bandaid on her heel anymore. My own mother, sitting with me, congratulated me on the occasion.

First moment I thought Darren was an actual possibility: When he brought me chocolate-covered cherries at the airport.

-- SJ

Now Accepting Requests (again)

Now that the Easter season is winding down, I'm taking prayer requests for the next church season. I like tossing off the names of church seasons as if I know what I'm talking about. It makes me sound like I'm in the Liturgical Club, which meets every Sunday and converses casually about Ordinary Time and Advent and Pentecost Sunday, all while dressed in the proper liturgical color.

Actually, the only reason I know what season we're in is because Darren is a Liturgy Geek and also the music planner for our church. This reliable source informs me that Ordinary Time, which follows Easter, lasts until Advent. Advent, my source tells me, starts in December.

Which means I'd have to commit to six months of prayer. That's a little out of my league at this point.

So, if there's something you'd like me pray about for the next forty days (forty being a good Biblical, prayer-type number), email me (address at left) or leave a comment.

If you gave me a request for Easter (the past fifty days... um, well, I probably came out at about forty-three days) and you've got an update, I'd love to hear about it.

-- SJ

Can't Getaway? Goaway

-- SJ

Marriage-help books always suggest that couples "leave the kids with your parents and plan a weekend getaway." It doesn't seem to occur to marriage-help books that some couples don't plan getaways because they don't have parents handy to take the kids. Other books at least acknowledge this problem, so they chirp, "Get a babysitter..." As if it's just a matter of a phone call or two to line up an overnight babysitter for four kids (including an eleven-month-old baby).

Our "weekend getaways" are rare (last count: two) and occur only when we have parents in town. Considering that our parents have to travel a thousand miles in either direction to be here, obviously we don't lean heavily on them for babysitting. What to do?

Have a Weekend Goaway, that's what.

A Weekend Goaway has all the same elements of a Weekend Getaway: a babysitter, dinner out, hotel reservations, doing whatever you like for hours at a time. The difference is that you come home and sleep in your own bed and, yes, have to cook breakfast for your kids the next morning. But it's a fair substitute when the real thing isn't an option.

Darren planned ours as a surprise for me. For which he earned lots of Gold Stars on his husband chart, in case anybody wondered. He made reservations at a nice-but-not-fancy hotel nearby and bought me a few special things like chocolates and a new Nancy Drew computer game. (Other husbands aren't required to buy exactly these special things, although who wouldn't want a new Nancy Drew game?) He left work early and picked up the babysitter from school, so we were ready to leave by 4:00 in the afternoon.

We ate out at Ruby Tuesday's, which again wasn't too fancy, but it was nice not to have to make the economical choice -- I got herb-crusted tilapia instead of the salad bar, and we both ordered sparkling water. And not once did we have to say, "Come out from under the table. Stop playing with the salt shaker. No, you don't need to sweeten your water with Splenda!" (If you still have to say these things when you go out with your spouse, then possibly a Weekend Goaway isn't the first priority of your marriage.)

It's my understanding that the majority of couples would go see a movie together. I don't consider movies to be "quality time," so if Darren wants a movie date he has to find another wife.

It makes the date much more fun when you have a private room to go back to. Well, yes, because of that, but also because it's nice to be together without having to be in public all the time. We went swimming, played the new trivia game Darren bought for the occasion, and ate chocolates.

(Obviously I'm glossing over some other entertainment possibilities here. You, your spouse, and a hotel room -- what doth hinder?* This entertainment definitely should be a focal point of your Goaway.)

An important feature of a Goaway is that you allow yourself a long time to enjoy the break. Also, don't go home until after the kids' bedtime. For us that was about 11:00, because (shocking confession here) our older two don't go to bed until 10:30. So for seven hours, we were completely off duty.

Now, Darren earned Bonus Gold Stars because he went home, but I got to spend the night and the next morning all by myself at the hotel. I seriously needed the alone time. But ending a date in separate buildings isn't usually the goal. That's one reason why you got married, darn it! Besides, if you get home after the kids are in bed, then your Goaway doesn't really end until the next morning.

When planning a Goaway, don't forget to budget for the babysitter. Ours is a good friend who generously doesn't charge us a very steep rate, but we paid half as much for the babysitting as we did for the hotel room. And if you look for cheaper entertainment -- browsing shops, playing a board game, going for a walk -- you can splurge more on eating out and gifts for each other. All taken together, we spent about $200 on our Goaway.

So for good food, uninterrupted conversation, a hotel room, swimming, and, you know, other things -- all without having to find an overnight babysitter -- the Weekend Goaway was a pretty cool deal.

* One of Darren's specialties is taking Bible verses and adapting them to the topic at hand. Two of his favorites are Acts 8:36 ("what doth hinder?") and John 11:39 ("he stinketh").

A Very Funny Video

--DJ

This video contains in a nutshell precisely what I don't want my worship leading on Sundays to be. I have a real temptation to do the "New Song" very frequently (not that I have the talent to write them), because I get bored after one week of practicing the songs we're going to do for the next Sunday.

Taylor-Made Daydream

-- SJ

A friend posted this parody of Taylor Swift's song "Love Story". Not, of course, that I'd heard the original or even knew what it was until Kim told me. But now I do. I've listened to it. I watched the video.

And I can say this: if I'd been anywhere between thirteen and seventeen when this song came out, I'd be dazzled. I mean, this is like the basic fabric of daydreams: castles, dresses, love conquers all, a guy hunky enough to look cool in a ruffled shirt, tryst in the garden by lanternlight... Unfortunately, I'm thirty-three and married. So mostly I just laughed.

What, did you miss the comedy? Oh, well, then. Let me give you a guided tour!

So they meet at school... college maybe? The song says they were "young when I first saw you." I'm thinking, if you're any younger we're going to have to discuss age of consent. But anyway, they saw one another and realized they'd met before. A long, long time before. In another life.

It's not Taylor's fault that when I hear anything about a "past life," what I think of is the conversation from a P.G Wodehouse story:

Sidney: "Is there a Mr. Spottsworth?"
Cora: "There was. He left me."
Sidney: "The low hound."
Cora: "He had no choice. Double pneumonia. No doubt by now he's been reincarnated, but only as a jellyfish. We won't let a jellyfish come between us, will we?"

Next we see Taylor singing in a dress. You can tell it's a medieval dress because it laces up in the back. Now, I don't categorically dislike off-the-shoulder dresses, but this one was a bad fashion choice. It calls attention to the fact that she doesn't have the type of figure one would expect this type of dress to flatter. To put it bluntly, it says, "Hey, look! If I fall out of this dress, there still won't be much to see!" She's got lovely shoulders and neck and hair: too bad it's the default assumption that breasts are always a woman's best feature.

Then there's a ball scene, because that's where real love takes place. (She's dressed better in this one.) I think it's supposed to be like French Revolution-era style, with a playful dash of Victorian and colonialism thrown in. The etiquette code in this court must be brutal. So they slip out into the garden for some nuzzling.

Oh, and petting horses, too. Where the heck did that horse come from? Shouldn't the stableyard be aware that a horse is wandering around the garden at night?

Then they part, and her heart aches, until he shows up running across the field and she flies into his arms and he asks her to marry him. The culmination of a perfect daydream! Except I never was the type of girl to dream about my wedding much, although I liked the idea of marriage because it made sex permissible. (Some things haven't changed.)

Fade out of Revolutionary French Victorianism and back to modern-day meeting of two reincarnated souls. From the way they greet one another, it's obvious that no jellyfish will come between them.

P.S. Who do I think I am, anyway? I *still* like Eididify.

Selection from the Irreverent Songbook 4

I'm Put Down
the Pip Jones Version
(sung to "We Fall Down" by Chris Tomlin)

I'm put down
On the ground
At the feet of Daddy.

The absence of
Mercy and love
At the feet of Daddy.

And I cry, "Hold me, Hold me, Hold me!"
"Hold me, Hold me, Hold me!"
"Hold me, Hold me, Hold me
In your arms!"

-- SJ

7 Quick Takes, May 7, 2010

--DJ

It's been a while since I've done one of these, because life has been pretty hectic. Click here for the full 7 Quick Takes list.

1. Something that made me laugh: the difference between guys and girls when it comes to color. The comments are pretty funny too.

2. For any Wheel of Time fans out there, check out the ebook covers that Tor has been commissioning. My favorite so far is “The Fires of Heaven.” I love all those shades of blue – even though according to point #1 above, there’s no difference :) "The Shadow Rising" is cool too, just because anything that has Mat involved is automatically cool.

3. This video is a must see. It made me cry, in a good way. I love the story of the Prodigal; it's got to be my favorite parable.

4. Alright, yes, I know it’s FoxNews and therefore sensationalized past all reason, but these students seem to have a pretty open-and-shut free speech case against the school for sending them home for wearing U.S. flags on Cinco de Mayo. On the other hand, if I were the attorney for the boys, would you really want them taking the stand to explain their motive? It reminds me of the nice homeschooled graduate I was talking to the other day, who was complaining about the local police department not being allowed to discriminate on the basis of race in employment, even though “80% of inmates are black” (his stat, not mine). Nice, dude. That really makes me want to help you.

5. On a related note, my friend Jose passed on this cartoon to me. We’re currently suing some nice Arizona government workers for, shall we say, over-zealousness in enforcing the law, so I’m not much reassured by statements that “Of course this new law won’t be misused.” Riiiight. See Lord Acton’s statement about power corrupting.

6. Anyone else looking forward to seeing Iron Man 2? I am. The first one was a lot of fun, and I just plain like superhero movies a lot. Although of course there are exceptions (Batman and Robin, I’m looking at you. Wow, that was a horrible movie).

7. Your prayers for those suffering with Lyme’s Disease would be appreciated. Addie has recovered completely, as far as we can tell, but my workplace is hit really hard with this.

Romance in 1-2-3-4

-- SJ

Journal entry
Page type: Notebook
Association: Teenagerhood

When I was a teenager, my friends and I used to play "the Game." Which looks like something from a Stephen King novel. Trust me: it wasn't that exciting. But then, neither was my teenagerhood.

Our "game" was a variation of that schoolyard classic MASH, but without things like cars or houses to clunk you down in the real world. First we'd list our names, then a matching number of boys' names, then the same number of places, actions, and songs. We hardly ever varied the elements, so a typical Game looked like this:

Sara
Friend A
Friend B
Friend C

Silicon
RBFC
Bromine
Radium

(We used code names for the boys in case our Game was discovered. We were silly, but we weren't stupid.)

Kissing
Dancing
Hugging
Fighting

England
The park
Football Game
Grocery store parking lot

Unchained Melody
Stand By Me
Release Me
Everything I Do I Do It For You

(The list of songs almost never changed; eventually we just abbreviated them. Which is why I still refer to the Bryan Adams' song as Eididify)

Next, we numbered each list 1-4, but in random order. So our names might be numbered 1-2-3-4, while the boys' names were 4-2-1-3, and so on. Once all the numbers were assigned, the results were tallied:

"Sara and Bromine Fighting in England to SBM.
A and Radium dancing in the parking lot to Eididify.
B and RBFC hugging at the park to UM
C and Silicon kissing at a football game to RM"

Then we'd giggle over the results. In this case, I'd have loved B's result -- RBFC was my favorite, as was Unchained Melody. But I was happy "fighting" with Bromine, whom I actually liked quite a lot but wouldn't admit it. C's was funny because Silicon was a football player -- what was he doing kissing her during a game? I guess that's why "Release Me" was playing. And Radium could actually dance, which A could not.

After we'd enjoyed the results, we'd set it up all over again. We must have done hundreds of those Games on into high school. We'd even keep "good" results. As one friend remarked, the laws of probability dictated that we'd get a setup we liked if we just did enough of them.

To girls who didn't have boyfriends to kiss, hug, dance with, or fight with, these Games gave us a romantic thrill. And a lot fewer awkward memories.

P.S. My ringtone for Darren's cell is Unchained Melody.

Not a New Blog, Exactly

-- SJ

More like a dedicated space to continue discussing this post. Like a new walk-in closet, necessary to avoid cluttering up Keeping Up. You know, just an extension of what I already do. You know.

All right, it's a new blog. Come see the new blog.

Poems

--DJ

This one was written after returning from the Alaska homeschool conference, which is fun but a very long way from home.

Sara suggested the format, which is syllable-count based. I'm sure there's some technical word for it, but I just think of it as short-growing-shrinking.

Each stanza is one day.

I.
Rise
Early
Read Kindle
Hours upon hours
Admire cold beauty
Dumb slow drivers
Great food, late
TV
Sleep

II.
Arise
Too early
Breakfast - too much
Setup's excitement
Talking, selling, waiting
Sitting, hurting feet
Texting Sara
Watch time slow
Downtime

III.
Pack
Check out
Renewal!
Member! Member!
Long speech in hot room
(Thought this was Alaska)
Telling friends goodbye
Packing suitcase
Missing wife
Flying
Home