Monday Rant

It's Monday after a holiday, and I will rant.

I could rant about a lot of things, actually. Like stores opening on midnight on Thanksgiving. Come on, America. Can't you enjoy the whole day before flinging yourself into a frenzy of acquisition? I know it's fun and a tradition and gives you a head rush, but you do realize that when you shop, other people have to run the store? Meaning that you get to spend your fun Thanksgiving with family, then head out to get great deals, then go home and rest... while employees cut short their celebrations so they'll be rested enough to work a twelve-hour shift. Sometimes we need to step back and say, "We've gone a little bit too far." This is one of those times.

Or I could rant about Puff, the Magic Dragon. Daphne has learned to play the whole song on the piano, complete with simple chords. I'm very impressed with her accomplishment, but I don't think I can adequately communicate how many times we have heard this song. Two weeks ago I knew only the first line. Now I know the whole song. The thing is, I've never been very taken by Puff as an adult. I had the impression that, despite its engaging tune and fun words, it was a sad song. Turns out I was right.

It sounds like a kid song, with lyrics like, "... and brought him string and sealing wax, and other fancy stuff." But then it gets to the last verse, and suddenly it's aimed at adults? Talking about loss of innocence? ("Dragons live forever, but not so little boys. Painted wings and giant springs make way for other toys. One gray night it happened, Jackie came no more. And Puff, that mighty dragon, ceased his fearless roar.") In which case, the cute lyrics become cloying, and children cry. Ask any child who has listened to the entire song, and you'll be told that

A. Jackie Paper dies
B. Puff dies
C. I don't like that part because it's sad.

I had to assure Daphne that she could make up a new ending, in which another little girl or boy comes to Puff's cave, and Puff comes out to play again. I find the entire song extremely annoying, and now hold a grudge against Peter, Paul and Mary.

And then there are Thomas trains. They attach one certain way, face-forward. Except the coach Clarabelle, whose face points backwards. It frustrates adults who aren't all that interested in re-attaching them anyway, because these trains always meet dire and catastrophic ends off the edge of the couch ("Oh no! Down! Choo-choo down! Mama mama mama mama down! Choo-choo!")

Is it Tuesday yet?

-- SJ