Excerpt from an Owner's Manual

Congratulations on your new purchase! At Intelligent Design Studios ™*,  our goal is to create the very best in life products.

Your Female Human Body has been designed and tested over many years to reach optimum performance. The following information will assist you in maintaining and enjoying your Body.

The FHB is uniquely suited to long-term survival. Its compact size compared to the Male Human Body model means it requires less food and resources to function. Historically, this single feature has ensured more consistent longevity.

In addition, the FHB features an automatic Resources Conservation Mode. This mode kicks in anytime the FHB loses mass or has access to less food. When in conservation mode, the Body retains water and energy resources to prevent starvation and death. (Note: this is sometimes the default mode: see Reproduction.)

Reproduction: The most outstanding feature of the FHB, as compared to the MHB, is its ability to build, produce, and maintain Baby Human Bodies of both types. During the Reproduction phase, the FHB requires special resources and maintenance.  The FHB also functions in Resources Conservation Mode until BHB can produce its own resources for survival.

Troubleshooting:  The FHB has been known to resist switching out of the Resource Conservation Mode, even when the owner has no need for the extra resources being stored. It is possible to send the Body back to the lab for surgical restructuring, but many owners find the cost prohibitive. For a more budget-friendly solution, we recommend eating less and exercising more.  That works, assuming anything does.

The MHB does not have a problem switching out of Resource Conservation Mode. Owners of the FHB may find this difference in design frustrating. We at Intelligent Design Studios ™ understand and are working on it. Meanwhile, rest secure in the knowledge that if there is an apocalypse, the FHB is the one you want to have on hand.

Thank you for choosing IDS™

*IDS is known variously as “God,” “the gods,” “Evolution” “Nature,” “the Universe,” and, rarely, “The Force.” The names are not, however, considered interchangeable.**

** The author is making no statement about her beliefs regarding the origin of life. She is just trying to be funny.