Not to criticize something that my husband enjoys, but Titan Quest is pretty much the dullest game ever created.
Here's how you play Titan Quest. You choose your character and name him or her. That's the fun part, and it all goes downhill from there. (The male characters measure about fifty-five inches around the chest. So do the female characters, for that matter.) Your character sets off on a quest. He talks to villagers. He fights enemies. He collects treasures. He sells treasures. He talks to villagers. He fights enemies. He collects treasures. He sells treasures. He talks to villagers. He fights enemies. Then, to make things even more exciting, he fights BIGGER enemies, and gets BIGGER treasures. This goes on until he gets to the tip-top boss of all boss characters, Typhon. He defeats Typhon. Hoo-ray!
At which point he unlocks "Epic Mode." You know what happens then? He STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN. The enemies are stronger, he's stronger, the treasures are stronger. But it's the SAME DARN GAME.
The only thing remotely interesting are the names of the treasures, which score points for novelty. Just tonight Darren added to his inventory:
The Electrified Totemic Staff of Acuity
Charged Jewel Staff of Strength
Grim Raider Bow
Enfeebling Hatchet of Feasting
"Oh, come on," I say, looking over his shoulder as the character runs through the countryside laying waste to satyrs and carrion crows. "Can't you go explore those ruins over there?"
"You don't explore in this game."
Or, "Hey, weren't you in this labyrinth the last time I looked?"
"No, that was the labyrinth in Egypt. This is in Knossos."
Today I had an inspiration. "You know what would make that game more fun? If you picked up a magical trick staff that when you waved it, it turned into a rubber chicken."
I was the only one who laughed. After a moment, I suggested, "Or a magical staff that turns the Minotaur into a rubber chicken."
"Now that would be okay," Darren said.
"Oh, I get it. Losing a battle isn't okay, even if it's funny?"
"No."
I just don't get that game. I wouldn't mind seeing one of those hatchets, though.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
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7 comments:
Sounds an awful lot like our favorite addictions--Diablo 2, Fate, Tales of Symphonia, Final Fantasy, Star Craft (which everyone but me is addicted to--blech.)
the Enfeebling Hatchet of Feasting?
How about a Neverending Platter of Cheesecake? Or a Treacherous Pillow of Sleep? Perhaps a Fiery Croquet Mallet of Doom would be a better weapon.
Suddenly I feel the urge to go out and obtain a copy of TQ.
If you're looking for a game with exploration AND combat, by the way, The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind is a good choice. I mean, hey, it features an enchanted Fork. (Fork of Horripilation, which I assume has something to do with hair, and thus may be a reference to The Little Mermaid.)
Oh, and Symphonia and Final Fantasy are loads of fun.
Dana has a game he plays in the evienings online. You shoot things, mostly enemies. Then the game ends and you get points. Next, you see a new map. You shoot things, mostly enemies. Then the game ends and you get points. Next, you see a new map. Then, you shoot things.... There is one exciting new thing. Last week the game added.... new maps!! Oh boy new scenes to shoot things. Once I tried to engage Dana in a conversation about this game. "Why do they keep announcing, 'External Map is Online' during the game?" His answer... "That means I have enough points to look at the whole map for a few seconds to see where the enemies are." Oh boy, I just don't get it. -Nina
Hmmmm...TQ looked very boring every time I saw Stuart play it. But, then again, Aunt Sara, Not everyone likes Nancy Drew games where you have to go back six million times for one object or cule. =)
Very funny. I completely identify. I especially like your helpful suggestions.
That game sounds awesome. I bet it even lets you name yourself things like "Bizantorio the Victorious Conquerer."
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