Darren retrieved some old files of mine off a disk. I haven't looked at them for a couple of years, and as usual when I come across something of my own creation, I thought this one was pretty darn funny. I wrote it for a friend who was at home with three boys, then ages 4, 2, and infant. She had no time for phone calls or emailing, much less actually getting out and visiting. So I provided her with a life, which I'm sure she appreciated deeply. Here are the first few entries of her "social calendar." Note: since she doesn't know I'm posting this, I'm going to change her name and her family's names.
Social Calendar of Gina Hackett,
wife of David,
mother of Phillip (4), Jacob (2), and Matthew (6 mos)
Tuesday, 1st –
I can’t believe it’s March already. In anticipation of spring, I bought some fresh flowers to go in the living room, and arranged them in my antique crystal vase. The arrangement was much admired by the ladies who came for my Tuesday-afternoon tea. This little gathering, by the way, has become “the thing to do” lately. One lady told me that she cancelled a meeting with a client because “nobody misses going to Gina Hackett's!”
Wednesday, 2nd –
Spent today in the comfort of my home, which is truly a haven from the busyness of the outside world. Phillip and I did school, and I was quite pleased at his progress. I had to stop him from doing the entire week’s work this morning! Jacob played quietly with a puzzle the whole time, and Matthew slept in my arms. What a day well-spent.
Thursday, 3rd –
Bit of a crisis today. I had the house only half-cleaned – the baseboards looked disgraceful, as I haven’t dusted them for a week – when the president of the local Garden Club came to the door. I welcomed her in as graciously as I could and asked her to stay for tea. She had come to ask if I would arrange all the club’s flowers for their meetings; her sister had seen my arrangement on Tuesday and couldn’t stop raving! I was flattered, but said I need to check my calendar first.
Friday, 4th –
Since David has to work this weekend, I decided I wouldn’t bother with real meals, so I gave Francois the weekend off. He baked me the most exquisite souffle before he left – what a dear! The boys and I ate macaroni and cheese. I had to be quite firm with little Jacob, but in the end he did wipe up his spilled food and wash his dishes. All kids need is a firm, loving hand, and they are so happy to comply!
Saturday, 5th –
Hard to decide what to do today. I had so many invitations it gave me a headache! The Historical Theatre has been begging me for weeks to come give a workshop on liturgical dance. Meanwhile, there were two separate cocktail parties on for the evening – “Children not invited, but we’ll make an exception for your boys because they’re never out of place!” Actually, I didn’t even have to take the boys, since I had three different people offer to babysit for free. In the end I decided to attend the Literary Club. Imagine my astonishment when they asked me to step in as the guest speaker! Good thing I finished War and Remembrance last night.
To be continued...
Social Calendar of Gina Hackett,
wife of David,
mother of Phillip (4), Jacob (2), and Matthew (6 mos)
Tuesday, 1st –
I can’t believe it’s March already. In anticipation of spring, I bought some fresh flowers to go in the living room, and arranged them in my antique crystal vase. The arrangement was much admired by the ladies who came for my Tuesday-afternoon tea. This little gathering, by the way, has become “the thing to do” lately. One lady told me that she cancelled a meeting with a client because “nobody misses going to Gina Hackett's!”
Wednesday, 2nd –
Spent today in the comfort of my home, which is truly a haven from the busyness of the outside world. Phillip and I did school, and I was quite pleased at his progress. I had to stop him from doing the entire week’s work this morning! Jacob played quietly with a puzzle the whole time, and Matthew slept in my arms. What a day well-spent.
Thursday, 3rd –
Bit of a crisis today. I had the house only half-cleaned – the baseboards looked disgraceful, as I haven’t dusted them for a week – when the president of the local Garden Club came to the door. I welcomed her in as graciously as I could and asked her to stay for tea. She had come to ask if I would arrange all the club’s flowers for their meetings; her sister had seen my arrangement on Tuesday and couldn’t stop raving! I was flattered, but said I need to check my calendar first.
Friday, 4th –
Since David has to work this weekend, I decided I wouldn’t bother with real meals, so I gave Francois the weekend off. He baked me the most exquisite souffle before he left – what a dear! The boys and I ate macaroni and cheese. I had to be quite firm with little Jacob, but in the end he did wipe up his spilled food and wash his dishes. All kids need is a firm, loving hand, and they are so happy to comply!
Saturday, 5th –
Hard to decide what to do today. I had so many invitations it gave me a headache! The Historical Theatre has been begging me for weeks to come give a workshop on liturgical dance. Meanwhile, there were two separate cocktail parties on for the evening – “Children not invited, but we’ll make an exception for your boys because they’re never out of place!” Actually, I didn’t even have to take the boys, since I had three different people offer to babysit for free. In the end I decided to attend the Literary Club. Imagine my astonishment when they asked me to step in as the guest speaker! Good thing I finished War and Remembrance last night.
To be continued...
5 comments:
Too funny! Isn't it funny when you run across old bits of writing. I have several that I started and didn't finish (I can finish paintings, not writing) and I am always shocked when I run across them.
Ha ha! This reminds me of how a female relative-by-marriage of mine talks: how VERY EMBARRASSED when someone in her church stopped by and saw the house imperfectly clean, and how she ONLY let her children watch TV when she was scrubbing the kitchen floor and needed them to stay off of it.
Well, I can truthfully say that I never let MY children watch TV unless my kitchen floor needs scrubbing. Let's leave it at that.
-- SJ
Hmmm . . . Can you write me up an virtual intellectual life?
Sooooooooo funny!!! I bet Phillip, Jacob and Matthew are all asleep after only being reminded once that it was time for bed. I bet Gina is finishing a counted cross stitch of flowers arranged in a crystal vase to donate to the garden club. David is reading the paper, while smoking his evening pipe! (Does anyone actually smoke an evening pipe anymore?!!)
-Nina
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