I was leaning in toward the mirror to see my face clearly. One thing about being nearsighted: when you want to take a close look at yourself without your glasses on, you get a *reeally* close look. As I approach birthday #31, I'm noticing faint, and faintly disturbing, changes during these close-range examinations. My cheeks, around my eyes, and forehead aren't smoothing out like they used to: I have baby wrinkles.
Then I looked up at my hair, and there it was. Right smack in the middle of my hairline, looking smug. It was a grey hair.
I've always declared confidently that I won't mind growing old, that I will accept the inevitable gracefully. That's easy to declare when you're twenty and aging is just a vague, unfortunate thing that happens to... well, old people. I was surprised at how displeased I was to discover that hair, just as I'm continually dismayed to realize that my figure won't automatically reappear after my second c-section. I'm entering into my 30s, and just like everybody else who ever got to 30, am realizing that aging includes me, too.
However, I'm glad to say the funk didn't last long. I got over it. I'm still thick around the middle and I still scout out my face for warning signs, but I've determined to accept the fate of all humans with grace and cheer.
I also pulled out that stupid hair.
-- SJ
Thursday, January 03, 2008
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I've had a patch of gray hair since around the age of 16. During my teenage years, I was highly embarrassed by it. Now, I'm fine with it.
I found my first two the other day. I left them there. I have been declaring for ages that I will NOT dye my hair just because I get grey--dying hair is for fun, not vanity, so I have to stand by that. :) Plus, I DO like getting older--I look forward to each birthday and hope that I am wiser, and hopefully after spending years being told I looked like a teenager and people being offended that I have kids having a few grey hairs and wrinkles will get people to lay off (I was called Ma'am for the first time ever this last year. :)
I've had a few gray hairs since I was in college. I've always counted myself lucky because the women in my family go gray very early (my sister was almost completely gray by 18 and my aunt was by 16). I'm torn because I kind of think they're neat but I find them annoying at the same time.
As a teenager, I made a point of saying I thought hair dye and plastic surgery were TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE and that I planned to do it myself one day. So now I'm IN THE CLEAR, crow-dining-wise.
Well, I knew it wasn't such a big deal to have one grey hair, but thanks for the reminders, Danielle and Barbara. :) My grandmother was hardly grey by the time she died at 76, so I was rather hoping I'd get her genes. My mother is completely grey now, but it's a lovely silver that I'd certainly sign up for if I had the chance.
Heather -- I've always looked exactly my age. Other than the physical changes, though, I love getting older. I like myself so much better as a 30 than I did as a 20.
Kristen -- Way to be foresightful!
The ironic thing is that I think others look fine as they get older. A lot like how other women look cute when they're pregnant, and I just look awkward.
-- SJ
Amy recently read a book on this topic that she raved about. I've had a few gray hairs in my sideburns for a couple of years now, and I've actually welcomed them. Probably for the reason that they give at least the perception of wisdom. But somehow I'm guessing that, culturally speaking at least, graying for men is different (more acceptable?) than graying for women.
I heard about that book, although didn't read it. My reaction was, "Somebody let herself go grey and then wrote a book about it? How BABY BOOMER is that?!"
The cultural pressure on women to stay young and beautiful -- therefore, not saggy and grey -- goes back a long way. The writer of Genesis extolls Abraham for being faithful, strong, and able to father a child in his old age. Sarah, however, is extolled in her old age for being strong, giving birth to Isaac, and being BEAUTIFUL.
-- SJ
My dad's side of the family greys very young (20s and 30s). My mom's side waits until 50s and 60s. I was always for being natural until I realized I didn't want to have a babe in arms and be grey. Fortunately so far, I take after my mom's side. Which means my kids should at least make grammar school before I'm grey. (Yep, I'm gonna dye.)-rlr
Ok I admit it, I dye my hair. I've had grey hair since I was in my early 20's. First I pulled them out. Then there was too many, so I bought the rinse out in 30 days dye, in hopes that the grey would just kind of fade away. I have finally resorted to permanent dye, but leave it to the professionals. I have to admit that it is relaxing having someone wash your hair several times. I have also discovered that when my school students say, "Mrs. Shaw, you have gray hair!," it msut be time to go back to the beauty shop!!!
Hmm, I thought blondes had it easy going grey because the light colours blended together so interchangeably. Apparently not?
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